This is the last chapter I'll upload tonight, but hopefully I'll have some more up tomorrow or the next day. I hope you enjoy this chapter, I do! :)
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Chapter 3:
Tris POV
I continue to spend every moment I can speaking with Four. I know him better then even my own family now, we don't usually talk about ourselves in Abnegation. It's been almost two weeks that we've been speaking to each other. Four still hasn't told me much about his past here in Abnegation but I know almost everything about him now in Dauntless.
It's just after dinner, I've had my shower and gotten into bed. Though, I don't think I'll be going to sleep just yet.
Tris.P: I'm back :)
Four.4: Thats good. Did you enjoy your shower?
Tris.P: Yes, thank you.
Four.4: What was for dinner tonight?
Tris.P: Chicken and rice? What else.
Four.4: Of course.
Tris.P: What did you have for dinner?
Four.4: Roast beef and vegetables.
Tris.P: The food really does sound quite enticing.
Four.4: Yep. I highly recommend joining Dauntless just for the food.
Tris.P: I'll contemplate it.
Four.4: Your test is coming up soon.
Tris.P: You don't feel like helping me with it do you?
Four.4: I can't help you, it's not like a school test. There's no right or wrong answers, only choices. The choices you make will tell you which faction you belong in.
Tris.P: What if it tells me I belong in Abnegation?
Four.4: You can always stay there, I don't think it will though.
Tris.P: I've been hoping recently that it doesn't.
Four.4: What have you been hoping it will tell you?
Tris.P: I was always content here, I never knew a different way of life besides what I saw at school. You depict a life much more appealing than the one I live.
Four.4: I remember. I had regretted leaving Abnegation in the beginning, initiating was pretty difficult. Everything was so new to me.
Tris.P: What's initiation like?
Four.4: I'm not allowed to tell you that, in case you do choose to come to Dauntless.
Tris.P: There's so many things that fascinate me, things that I won't be able to discover here. Or at least I won't be able to for a long time.
Four.4: Like...?
Tris.P: Like alcohol and music and sex. What's sex like?
Four.4: That's a very blunt question. I wouldn't know though, I've never had sex. My friends always rave about it though, apparently it's pretty great.
Tris.P: You've never had sex?
Four.4: No. I've never been close enough to someone to have that kind of relationship with them. I'm not really big on physical contact, Abnegation still lingers in me.
Tris.P: I'm quite surprised by that.
Four.4: Most people are.
Tris.P: I like it. That you're waiting for someone special.
Four.4: I guess I am.
Tris.P: I better go to sleep.
Four.4: I think you go to sleep too early, but okay. :)
Tris.P: I'm sorry, I'm use to it. I'll talk to you first thing tomorrow :) Goodnight.
Four.4: Goodnight.
That night I dream of Four again, just like I have almost every night since I started talking to him. This dream is a first though, in my dream Four thinks I'm the someone special he's been waiting for and we do very inappropriate things to each other. I very much enjoy that dream.
The next few days go very quickly, as today grew closer Four kept reassuring me that there was nothing to be afraid about. The test wasn't final; I don't have to choose what the test tells me too.
The start of the school went as it normally does classes as usual. I was very anxious about the test despite Four's reassurance that it would be fine. After lunch we would be doing our tests, I spent all of lunch talking to Four.
Tris.P: What if I fail?
Four.4: I've already told you it's not that kind of test.
Tris.P: Yes, I know. And you can't tell me what kind of test it is. You follow a lot of rules for someone in Dauntless.
Four.4: You break a lot of rules for someone in Abnegation.
Tris.P: I'm scared.
Four.4: Don't be.
Tris.P: I know we don't have to follow the test, but I feel like I should. There's a reason they made the test.
Four.4: You need to do what you think you should.
Tris.P: I don't know what to do!
Four.4: I mean the choosing ceremony. The test is really nothing, you shouldn't be so afraid. Zeke says to stop being a pansycake.
Tris.P: You've told Zeke about me? What's a pansycake?
Four.4: Yes? Wasn't I allowed to? And a pansycake is just a Dauntless insult. He's just telling you to be brave.
Tris.P: How Dauntless of him.
Four.4: Well, it is to be expected from us. We are dauntless.
Tris.P: What if this test tells me I should go to Dauntless?
Four.4: I would like that.
Tris.P: I think I would too, but then I'd have to leave my family, I love my Family. But I don't like Abnegation.
Four.4: You're acting like this is your choosing ceremony, not just the test. It's obvious you still don't know what you want.
Tris.P: Exactly!
Four.4: The test will help, well it should.
Tris.P: I hope it does.
The bell sounds, indicating the end of lunch. All the 16 year olds are to stay in the cafeteria to sit the aptitude test. No matter how much Four attempts to reassure me. I'm still terrified, not of the test itself, of the result.
Four.4: Good luck, Tris. It'll all be fine.
Tris.P: Thank you. I will talk to you after the test.
Four seems to know the school timetable off by heart still. He must have an amazing memory. It is not long before I am called up. I barely notice what is going on around me, just enough to know where I am supposed to go. There are knots in my stomach; my mouth is dry and my breathing uneven.
I'm ushered into a mirrored room; in it is a chair - looking similar to that of a dentists - and a Dauntless woman.
"Don't worry, it doesn't hurt." She says, "Have a seat, get comfortable, My name is Tori." I follow her instructions. I ask about her tattoo, she tells me it represents her overcoming her fear of the dark. I can't help but wonder, does she know Four? I don't ask. Then she hands me a vial of clear liquid. I question her about it, confused, she just tells me to drink it.
This vial transmits me to a different place, a place within my own mind. Just as Four told me I would be I am faced with choices and I was, there was a dog, a child then I was on a bus with a man asking me questions. Then it was over.
I open my eyes and I'm back in the mirrored room on the reclined chair with Tori. She detaches as, she has a strange look on her face.
"That was perplexing. Excuse me, I'll be right back." She says, and leaves? That's not good, that can't be normal. Moments later she comes back in, I'm gripping the arms of my chair.
"I'm sorry to worry you. Beatrice, your results were inconclusive." She says, I can tell she's tense. She goes on to explain how the test works and how it didn't work on me. She goes on to explain that my results were Erudite, Abnegation... and Dauntless.
She then tells me that I am, Divergent? She says it in such a hushed tone I almost don't hear her, like it's a secret or a very bad thing. She then elaborates that it is, that under no circumstance am I permitted to tell anyone about it, that it is dangerous.
Four lied. He told me that there was nothing to worry about. I am very worried now. Tori sends me home early, she has put doubt in my mind a fear in my bones.
Four.4: It wasn't so bad was it?
Tris.P: I can't tell you how it went. But, it didn't go well.
Four.4: What do you mean?
Tris.P: I can't tell you.
Four.4: Okay, sorry. Did it help at all with your decision.
Tris.P: No.
If anything it made things worse, I could fit in either of the two I was contemplating, Abnegation and Dauntless. Not only that though, now they go though Erudite in the mix. I'm only halfway home when I realise, I don't think Erudite was ever an option. It's still Abnegation or Dauntless.
If I stay in Abnegation I will get to stay with my family and continue to live the same routine life I have lived for the last 16 years. I don't like it here though, I don't really fit in and I hate the rules and the routine.
If I transfer to Dauntless I abandon my family, the only life I know. I choose 'faction before blood'. Then there's Four...
Four.4: Well, that's no good. I guess you have a big night of thinking ahead of you..
Tris.P: Yes, I do.
Four.4: Would you like me to leave you to it?
Tris.P: No, I think you may be the only thing keeping me sane at the moment.
Four.4: You shouldn't worry so much. I know it's a big decision but there's only 5 options, it could be worse.
Tris.P: I've narrowed it down to two.
Four.4: I'd say I have a good guess of the two. I may be being vain though.
Tris.P: I don't think so.
Four.4: I'm very excited by the thought that I may get to meet you.
Tris.P: It is quite exciting, you're probably the best friend I have and I've never even met you.
Four.4: I dream about you sometimes.
Tris.P: Really?... I dream about you sometimes too.
Four.4: Crazy isn't it. Dreaming of someone you're never met. We went on a wonderful adventure last night, rode the train to a dragon's den and fought it.
Tris.P: Did we now, I can't imagine we won.
Four.4: Of course we did. I'd never let a measly dragon hurt you.
This is a turn of events. I found it very strange that I was dreaming of Four, inappropriate even. Now I find out he's been dreaming of me too? His dream was very different to mine last night... my dream last night was definitely inappropriate. I've never thought of a boy in that way before.
Tris.P: Have you kissed a girl before?
Four.4: As a dare. I've never really properly kissed a girl before. Just a peck on the lips. Why's that?
Tris.P: Just curious.
Four.4: Something that's come up in your dreams is it? ;)
Tris.P: Possibly.
Four.4: I was just being a smartass... has it really?
Tris.P: Honestly, yes it has.
Four.4: Who was I kissing?
Tris.P: Funnily enough, someone you've never met.
Four.4: I've had a few dreams like that...
Tris.P: About me?!
Four.4: Yes, you.
Tris.P: You don't even know me?
Four.4: I think I know you about as well as I do any of my other close friends, I talk to you more than I talk to Zeke.
Tris.P: That's very surprising to hear.
Four.4: Should I apologise for dreaming these kinds of things?
Tris.P: Only if I should be too.
Four.4: I'm sure your dreams are a bit more... tame, than mine.
This is a very exciting prospect. I think back to my dream last night...
Four had snuck into the school, he found me and pulled my into a closet. He stared down at me for a moment before he crushed his lips to mine, hungry and needy. I returned the same enthusiasm. He pushed me against the wall and his hands started to roam all over my body, his hands pulled up my grey Abnegation robes and his fingers slipped under the elastic of my underwear and...
I woke up. It was the first dream I had that was even remotely sexual. I woke up with a strange feeling that I really wanted to have Four there with me in my bed... I definitely shouldn't have been thinking about that. I wouldn't call that dream 'tame'.
Tris.P: I'm not sure about that.
Four.4: Is there a dirty side to this seemingly innocent Abnegation girl?
Tris.P: Wouldn't you like to know.
Four.4: Yes. Yes, I would.
Four has never really held anything back, but this was different from our usual conversation, dirty dreams about each other? That is definitely something that hasn't come up in the past. The most we have gotten into 'sexual conversation' was when I asked if he had ever had sex before.
Tris.P: Maybe someday soon you'll know.
Four.4: Have you ever been kissed before?
Tris.P: No.
Four.4: May I pose a hypothetical situation.
Tris.P: If you wish to do so.
Four.4: What would you do if I were to kiss you, hypothetically.
Tris.P: Hypothetically... What are my options?
Four.4: Uh... Slap me, kiss me back... or run away screaming.
Tris.P: Maybe a little bit of all three, I don't know what it's like to be kissed. I don't know how I'd feel about it.
Four.4: I'd just like to let you know that I do not believe you belong in Abnegation. Not at all, I think you'd fit in much better here with me.
Tris.P: Is that so?
Four.4: Yes.
Tris.P: So, obviously there's no need for me to make a decision tomorrow, it's already been made for me?
Four.4: See look at all the stress I saved you!
Tris.P: You're funny. I'll take your opinion into consideration, but I can't guarantee anything.
Four.4: I can always hope.
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So...? Tell me all the things in your brain! Whatever it might be, I hope it's positive though...
I hope your excited for her decision, I know your like 'Ohmagawd, so predictableeee, she going to Dauntless bitchezz.' I know what your thinking. Maybe she'll go join Amity just for the f*** of it? You never know ;)
Stay tuned in the next day or two for the new chapters!
- Kayla
