A/N: Hey everybody. I'm trying to stick to a "once a week" update schedule (starting now), so here's this week's chapter.

Thanks for all the people who've read and reviewed so far, it always makes me feel nice to hear what people think.

Wewt, I finally found a new beta (Secretly Batman had too much going on irl), so this chapter is betad by omnisilver. :3

Not much else to say, so... enjoy!


Kurt breathed a sigh of relief once he pulled up in front of his house and didn't see his father's truck parked outside. He tore the light brown wig off his head and placed it in the duffle bag sitting in the back seat, then with more wiggling that was advisable in a cramped car by himself, he managed to slip the dress off his body and replace it with a pair of jeans and a baggy tee-shirt. The makeup remained on his face, but if anyone were close enough to see him wearing it, they would think nothing of it.

Satisfied that he was "Kurt" once more, he climbed out of the car, the purse also in the duffle bag which hung casually over his shoulder. He searched around the neighborhood coolly, wondering if anyone had seen him go Clark Kent in his car.

Feeling that no one had seen him, he locked up the car and headed inside. Now, the nervousness was easing freely from his body, though not completely absent. With an exhilarated grin, he went into the bathroom to remove the makeup from his face and take a quick shower.

As soon as the warm water touched his skin, the final bit of tension left his body and Kurt allowed himself to think about everything that had happened throughout the day. Today had been avery eventful day, and it felt like it had lasted forever, but in actuality, it had only been a single afternoon.

He frowned when he realized that most of his shopping time had been taken up by Finn and Puckerman. He would have to go shopping again, but honestly, he didn't mind. You could never have too much shopping.

Oddly enough, his mood both brightened and darkened simultaneously when he thought about the unlikely pair of best friends. It had been a fun and exciting experience because he got a chance to talk and actually flirt with his crush, Finn. But the memory had a tainted edge that's to the presences of his tormenter since freshman year, being Puckerman.

Kurt sighed, lathering shampoo into his hair as he thought about the…unusual situation he now found himself in. Puckerman wanted a… a date? No, Kurt refused to call it as such. He wanted a chance to prove that he wasn't the dick Kurt knew him to be. But he wasn't trying to prove as such to Kurt, he wanted to prove it to Kate.

As he ran his fingers through his brown locks, he pondered it. As far as both Finn and Puckerman knew, Kate was an entirely different person than Kurt. With Finn, he felt he could start over with the boy, to get to know the real Finn when he wasn't being hounded by his meathead friends.

And then there was Puckerman. If Finn was the knight in shining armor, then Puckerman could only be the fire breathing dragon. And Kurt, of course, was the beautiful prince—or princess—with a killer fashion sense.

But what confused Kurt was that in this "fairy tale", the dragon and knight were friends, and both wanted the hand of the princess.

Kurt snorted. Maybe that wasn't the best analogy to use after all.

The fact of the matter was Kurt wanted Finn, and Finn was within his reach, the only thing standing in his way being Puckerman. The solution was simple really; all he had to do was go out on the date, which it wasn't, and make sure to do his damndest to push Puckerman away. Then, once Puckerman was removed from the equation, he and Finn could ride smoothly into the sunset.

With a final sigh, Kurt stepped out of the shower. He just knew it wouldn't be that easy.


Puck had a smile on his face as he made his way back to Finn, but it fell away as soon as he spotted his friend still sitting idly in the food court. Finn was gnawing on the straw from his soda, his foot tapping anxiously.

The thought of simply turning away entered his mind, but Finn looked up and spotted him. Resigned, Puck headed toward the table. As soon as he slid into his chair, the tall boy spoke.

"Did she make it to her car okay?" Finn asked, taking the straw out of his mouth and placing it back in the cup.

"Duh," Puck said, shrugging.

A slow blush was making its way across Finn's nose. "She…she say anything about me?"

Puck frowned, the nonchalant act he tried to display faltering. "No," he lied, more bitterness in his voice than he wanted. "What made you think she would?"

Now it was Finn's turn to frown. "Dude, what's up with you? You've been acting weird ever since I met up with you and Kate at the food court."

"Dude…" Puck sighed and shook his head. He had put off saying this for years, but now he felt it had to be done. It was time for Finn to realize the great (and infinitely annoying) gift he had. "Finn, you're my boy, but you can be a total cock block!"

Finn gaped, his mouth hanging open. "What? But I thought—? I mean… you and her…?"

"Luckily for you," Puck began, saving his floundering friend, "she realized what a stud I was, and even gave me her phone number."

"What?" Finn questioned, his shock only growing.

Puck felt a brief thrill of satisfaction run through him. He wasn't telling the truth, and he was laying it on a bit thick, but Finn didn't need to know that. What Finn didn't know wouldn't hurt him.

"Yep," Puck said, a pleased sigh escaping him. He unfurled the piece of paper in his hand onto the table and felt a brief pang of guilt at Finn's reaction. Finn's mouth furrowed downward and his eyes dimmed. Puck brushed the feeling aside determinedly. "See? A hotty like her you have to romance first before she gives it up, but me being me, it'll only take one night before I have her spreading her legs."

Finn blinked. Then he blinked again. "Wait, you just want to sleep with her?"

Now it was Puck's turn to blink. "Uh, duh? That was the point of this whole mall trip, remember?"

"And then afterwards?" Finn stressed, his face crumpled in worry.

"Then…" Puck shrugged. "You can have her I guess."

Various emotions seemed to flicker across Finn's face; shock, anger, sadness and disgust. Finally, he just settled for a displeased frown. "If all you want is a cheap fling, there are plenty of other girls to choose from."

"Dude, calm down, you act like you're in love with the chick." Puck scoffed.

Finn flushed and Puck's eyes began to widen in trepidation. "No," he whispered in horror, shaking his head. "Dude, no. "

Puck shook his head disbelievingly when Finn gave no response. "There is no way you fell in love with her after only knowing her for an hour! You knew her for an hour, Finn, ONE hour!"

The taller boy hung his head, looking miserable. "I'm not… in love with her. But I'm in… like with her."

With a shaky swoop of his 'hawk, Puck corrected, "I think you mean 'lust'. I don't blame you. Who wouldn't wanna tap that?"

"No," Finn denied, glaring down at the table. "I've experienced, uuh… that, and this isn't it. Kate, I mean, wow." Finn eyes went wide and Puck knew all too well what he was thinking. He had been thinking the same things himself after all. "She's so hot… but that's not all! She's smart, she's funny—she's flatter than a fifth grader—but boy, is she hot!"

Puck agreed with all of those points, especially the one about her being hot. But still, Finn was just too open and trusting… That was why they were still best friends after all. He let people into his heart too easily. Though the idea left him uneasy, he could easily imagine Finn being the type for the whole 'love at first sight' thing. Or rather, like at first meet.

Even though Puck understood what Finn was feeling, he was already starting to feel like Kate was his. Not in any sentimental way, but his as in he would not allow Finn to take her away from him. He knew it was petty and selfish, but he was tired of Finn taking everything he wanted.

"I thought you were crushing on Quinn Fabray?" he asked, a mean curl to his lip.

"I am! I mean, I was." Finn sighed heavily. "We've hung out and junk, but she's religious. I think it's against her faith to date or something. Besides, can't you like two people at once?"

Puck had no answer to that question so he simply remained silent. This was not the first time that they both liked the same girl. Usually, when the situation arose, the girl didn't like him, but Finn, so he would have no choice but to back off. But this time he was not playing that game.

"Sorry," Puck said hollowly. He felt for his best friend—he'd have to be heartless not to—but this was one situation he was not backing down from.

Finn nodded dejectedly. In between pauses, he began. "You… you found her first, so I guess it's only fair if she went out with you… Just… after you're done playing with her, let her down gently okay?"

Puck felt himself jarring at the way Finn phrased that. After he was done playing with her? "Hey, this isn't a game to me, Hudson."

"Uh, then what is it?" Finn asked, honestly confused.

'It's a battle,' Puck thought, but didn't say aloud. Not answering, Puck stood up from his seat and walked away, Finn scrambling quickly to follow.


It had been days since their last meeting, and although Kurt was dreading it, he was ready to get this 'predetermined meeting', he still refused to call a date, with Puckerman out of the way so he could focus on more important things. Things like trying to bag Finn Hudson.

Kurt knew that was probably only a pipe dream, and that he would never be Finn's… what? Be Finn's girlfriend? That could never work, because first of all, Kurt didn't have the parts required. He acknowledged this, and while he knew that this endeavor could only end in heartbreak, he still wanted to experience it.

It was better to have love and lost than to never have loved at all. Isn't that what everyone always said? He would probably regret everything when the moment of truth finally presented itself, but until then, couldn't he be allowed to be happy?

His depressing musings were ground to a halt when he heard his cell phone go off, the sound of Poker Face filling the room. When he lifted the phone to his face, he realized he had a new text message from an unknown number. Curious and filled with dread, he read it.

hey.

x The Stud x

Kurt stared at the innocent message, knowing from the simple tag on the end that it was from none other than Puckerman. Who else went around banging their hairy ape chest and flinging feces to exert their masculinity?

With a roll of his eyes, Kurt hit the reply button and began swiftly typing up a scathing response.

Hello, Puck.

What do you want?

PS. I pray that the next message I get from you will consist of something more intelligent than a simple monosyllable.

He hit send with a small smirk on his face. It was several minutes before his phone went off again.

lol, retract the claws kitten, unless ur actually on ur period this time?

anyway, howd u kno it was me?

x The Stud x

Kurt sighed. A typical small minded reply from a typical small minded individual.

I'll have you know I'm no pussy, and if I was, I'd be a cheetah. (fyi, a cheetah cannot retract its claws) And no, I am not on my period. This is the second time you've said that, should I be insulted?

How did I know it was you? Please. You're the only person in the world I've met who is arrogant enough to call themselves a stud.

Now then, could you please tell me, what do you want?

Once more, Kurt sent off his response and had to wait several minutes before it was replied to.

hm, ur no pussy huh? thats just 2 ez and I want u to know that Puckerman works for it.

nah, its not an insult. I like a firecracker like u. a challenge

oh, and hav u seen my guns? yea, I think ive earned every right to call myself a stud

as for wat I wanted… to take u on a date of course. u free 2morrow night at 7?

x The Stud x

Despite himself, Kurt found himself amused. Although he would never admit it to Puckerman, he was beginning to enjoy trading witty remarks in this little tête-à-tête.

Hm, we'll see, because you have your work cut out for you if you think you can impress me.

Yes, I've seen your 'guns'. You should take it easy on the steroids; I heard it wasn't good for your no-no parts.

As for our date… Hmph, I almost thought you forgot all about it. I'll have to check with my dad, but I think I'll be able to make it.

He sent his text, knowing that the steroids bit would really get under Puckerman's skin. He almost shifted in impatience as he waited for the other boy's response. When his phone went off he snatched it up quickly, eager to see what he said.

steroids? really kitten (or should it be cheetah now… naaah)? I'll hav u kno that not only is this all natural, but my biceps arnt the only part of me bigger than average. if ur nice on our date, maybe ull get to c for urself?

and no, I didnt forget our date, kitten, dont tell me u were lonely? neway, i waz thinking dinner and then sumthin special. tell me ur adress and ill pick u up then.

x The Stud x

Kurt snorted with a smirk on his face as he read the message and then reread it. The last part, however, had him concerned. He couldn't have anyone coming over to his house for 'Kate', especially not a male, but he didn't know how he could wiggle out of it without sounding suspicious. With an internal shrug, he decided to just wing it and see what Puckerman said.

Is kitten my new pet name? If you want me to call you 'Stud' I'm sorry, but you will be sorely disappointed.

Dinner and something special? Knowing you, that 'something special' would involve the backseat of your car.

Sorry, I can't tell you my address. I had to get a restraining order on the last guy who fell hopelessly in love with me then proceeded to stake out my house (that's a joke btw). Instead, how about I meet up with you at the restaurant?

Kurt bit his lip, hesitating over sending the message. Hopefully his obvious attempt at humor would allow the whole secrecy issue to be brushed under the rug. With a final reread, Kurt sighed and hit sent.

This time, Kurt didn't have to wait nearly as long for a reply.

hmm, dont worry, ill be having u call me stud and more in no time ;)

yea, sumtin special. wait and c (also, the backseat of my car is very comfy if u ever want to check)

a restraining order huh? now whos bein arrogant?

good (i hate meetin dads) Ill c u at Olive Garden 2morrow, k? dont be late!

x The Stud x

A small giggle escaped Kurt when he realized where they would be going; Olive Garden, how romantic. Though, he was glad Puck had accepted his proposal to meet at the restaurant. It made pulling off his little scheme a tad easier. The hardest part would be convincing and eventually sneaking past his dad.

Kurt had to admit; he was curious as to what this "something special" was.

'Oh well,' he decided, 'he could show up with a bag full of Alexander McQueen and it still wouldn't matter.'

He had already made up his mind. He did not like one Noah Puckerman, and there was nothing in the world that could change that.