Little more info a few more clues. curious how we are liking Cass here. the show only gave us a peek at him and his issues and I have had to expand. I know some of you want the happy goofy drunk but i cant help but look deeper into just why he became that guy...

are you buying him this way?

FeedBack please. Thanks for all the reviews guys i am happy you are enjoying this because it wont give me a moments peace lol

xox

EP

Chapter 2

Reality Bites

Castiel sat on the edge of the bed staring down at the woman in front of him, his mouth had gone dry from more than the effects of the narcotics coursing through his body, and his mind reeled with confusion. Looking at the deep red markings on the young woman's hip bones, one obviously with her from birth, that one was confounding enough to the former angel, but… the other mark, was both, chilling and thrilling to him. How did it get there?

He was thankful when Chuck once again fumbled his way into the cabin and interrupted the conversation to inform Doc she had two new patients that needed to be examined, then let Dean know they were preparing to unload the trucks and his assistance was needed.

Doc nodded at Chuck, "Tell them I am on my way." she said just before turning to look down on Castiel who was still sitting on the edge of the bed. He suddenly looked pale and more than a little shaken to her.

"You sure you're alright?" She asked, pulling a hand out of her jeans pocket and placing it on his shoulder.

"Yeah I'm good." he responded, looking up at her but still seeming more than a little distracted.

Doc, tucked her hair behind her ears then reached down and gripped the former angel by his scruffy chin and turned his head until he was facing her, She removed a small flashlight from her pocket and shown it in his eyes. "You really have to stop self medicating Castiel." she grumbled, as she bent over and scrutinized he pupils.

He left out a snort and turned his head away. "Yeah… I'll work on that." he said trying to contain the sarcastic sneer that threatened to break across his lips, instead, he returned his attention back to Molly. He honestly liked Doc and he had no desire to offend her by acting un friendly or acting on the feeling of confusion that had taken a hold of him.

When both Dean and Lilly had left his cabin, Castiel sighed with relief and he once again moved to sit on the bed next to Molly. He studied her, her long and dark almost black hair, he wondered what color her eyes were as he stared into her face, her lips were full and pink he noticed. Her skin pink as well and peachy, very smooth, unlike the pale gray mottled skin tone of most everyone else on the planet right now. She was well fed, not too thin nor heavy, and appeared well cared for. Someone obviously loved her and took great pains to see to it she was well taken care, even as the world burned around her. Somewhere deep inside of him he felt gratitude towards who ever that person was.

He reached with more than a little trepidation to tug the waist band of her sweat pants, and look at the symbols on her body again. But before he slid them down, he looked at the swell of her belly and had an urge to touch it once again. He tried to resist but then gave in laying his hand low on the swell and he closed his eyes. He was surprised to feel the small jump indicating life inside of her and was overcome with a strange sensation that the tiny growing life inside of her was aware of his presence. He shook it off finding the thought silly and pointless and more than likely the result of one too many pills, he would have to re-evaluate the cocktail next time.

He turned his attention back to the symbols on her hip bones. Yes they were symbols of a sort, he knew precisely what they were and even what they meant. He hid that information from Dean and Doc when they were there, but he didn't want to try to explain it to the others, simply because, any explanation would only raise more questions… questions he could not begin to answer.

He looked at them closely and muttered the impossibility of the situation to himself before he flopped backwards on the bed next to her. His head hurt despite the drugs surging through his veins and her mere presence seemed to cause him to ache… ache for his wings… ache for home… ache for his true Identity.

There was a rustling outside on his porch and then the sound of footsteps and the thud of boxes being unloaded. It was Chuck and the others, they had unloaded the truck and they were leaving his share of the haul on his porch. He remained quiet hoping none of them would come to the door. He should go help, after all it was his… supplies… if you could call a few dozen bottles of liquor and a box of canned goods supplies. Instead he rolled to his side and reached under his bed feeling around for the bottle he kept there. His fingers found the long neck of the bottle and he pulled it out, unscrewing the cap and brining it to his lips. He drank deeply from it and tried his best not to ponder what the markings on Molly's body really meant.

XXX

"Maltiel…"

She was watching the Earth, looking down with much interest, sadness and excitement so much so she almost didn't hear him call her name…

"Maltiel" came the familiar voice with an anxious tone again. It was an almost desperate call that came from behind.

"I am still here." she replied reassuringly, without turning to face her visitor. She had no need to turn, she knew who it was and she also understood the desperation that had invaded his usually strong and sure voice. He had heard, he knew she was chosen, he knew she was leaving… She could only hope he would understand her choice…

"I.. I thought I had missed you." he said, still apprehensive.

"I would never leave without saying good-bye to you Castiel." she smiled at him as she turned to face him.

"Why? Why… now? why you? Is it punishment?" he questioned looking at her with more longing than one angel should possess for another.

"No" she said with a small laugh. "It is reward… It is my choice.." she explained softly.

"How can it be reward? You are being removed from Heaven, from Father, from Grace, How is that Reward? Why would you chose such a thing?"

"From you… Castiel… do not forget I am being removed from you. Why would I choose to be removed from you?" she spoke the words that were really in the forefront of his mind.

"Yes." he admitted looking away.

"We have walked and fought together since the beginning it is only normal you feel as you do… I promise I am doing this for you as much as I am for them."

"But… they-"

"BUT… I must go now and live amongst them." she told him, with a sympathetic smile.

"…And this is not punishment?" he asked his voice tinged with anger.

"Faith… Castiel… remember? This is not goodbye… it is only the doorway to the beginning. This is not the end… The time will pass quickly… a lifetime to them, is but a blink of our eye…. A beat of our hearts if… we had hearts to beat. This is not the end Castiel… I promise…. Soon it will be new again."

"I do not understand." he said quietly again looking away.

"You are not meant to… When the time comes you will…. I promise… you will… have I ever lied to you?"

"Of course not…"

'Then trust the time will come soon."

"THUNK" Castiel was awakened by the sound or something heavy hitting the floor and then the familiar rattling and clanking bottles, that followed. He opened his eyes, then quickly closed them again, seeking shelter against the blazing light of morning.

"Too fucking bright." he complained, and rolled to his side.

There was a perky laugh followed by, "Good morning to you too…You left your… um.. Supplies out on the porch." Castiel didn't have to look to know it was the young perky blond whose name he couldn't even remember. She chortled another giggle as she set his duffel on the floor and then continued to push another box across the floor towards his kitchen.

"Yeah…. morning" he nodded without lifting his head, trying to focus his attention in the reality of the too bright morning and pull himself from the dream he had just been awoken from. It was then he realized he had fallen asleep… okay more like passed out… next to Molly. He didn't imagine she would mind, she was, after all unconscious. She didn't even know he was there.

"There are more boxes out there" the girl told him running fingers through her loose falling tresses with one hand while pointing to the porch with the other.

'Uh huh" he mumbled absently, lying flat on his back waiting on the room to stop spinning.

'So you gonna help or what?" the girl questioned with slight impatience, her hands on her hips of her faded jeans, the oversized flannel shirt she wore obviously too big and normally all she would be wearing at this point if it were any other morning, her disappointment in his less than enthusiastic reaction to her presence becoming obvious. He was just trying to remember her name… her name was.. Tina… Tammy… Tara? Oh hell he couldn't remember all of their names anymore and didn't really want to at the moment.. his head hurt.

"I'll get them… you should go.." he said waving her off, not appreciating just how rude he seemed as he started to roll out of bed and then tried to find sure footing on the floor reaching out for the chest in front of him.

"Go?" She questioned. "It's Friday morning and I just got here." she giggled and looked at him expectantly.

"… And I have things to do." he explained, trying to sound less annoyed, He then shuffled towards both her and the door, his hair standing on end and his jeans sagging at his waist. To say he looked rough would have been a compliment.

"Really? And who might that be?" she asked stretching her neck around him to the bed.

He rolled his eyes and bent for his duffle, 'Great' he thought, he hated it when they got jealous. If they only knew he didn't feel a damn thing for any of them… there were no favorites he didn't like one more than the other, hell he didn't even like some of them at all.. If they only knew… they would probably hang him by their favorite appendage… He bit his lip to control the chuckle the mental image brought to mind.

He pulled a fresh bottle from his duffel then stood while giving his too loose jeans a yank upwards. "She's been hurt.. That's all." he sighed, wishing Tammy or Tina or… was it Gail?… whoever she was, he was wishing she would just leave.

"So since when are you the Doc?" she persisted, crossing her arms looking at him through narrowed eyes.

"I'm not.. she's hurt, not sick, she can't go to the infirmary so I'm looking after her.." he explained, his irritation with the conversation and the woman's presence becoming obvious.

Then, apologizing. "Sorry… I know Friday mornings are usually more… um.. Fun?" he told her pushing her gently toward the door, she moved in the right direction reluctantly.

"Fine" she sighed and turned on her heal and left stomping across his porch toward the steps. Passing Chuck on his way up the same stairs.

"Morning Cass." Chuck said as he came toward the door. "Boy she didn't look like a happy customer." he joked running nervous fingers through his hair and nodding toward the blond as she stomped away.

Castiel huffed as he bent to lift one of the three remaining boxes on the porch.

"What can I say… I'm not just a disappointment to myself any longer" he said and let out a disparaging laugh, then grunted as he lifted one of the boxes to carry inside.

Chuck bent and lifted another box and followed him into the cabin. "Wow Cass your food to booze ratio is looking pretty uneven." the prophet noted

"I'm not complaining" he responded as he went out on the porch to collect the remaining box.

Chuck sat down the box he was carrying, then stood and sank his hands into his pockets. "Doc asked me to come and check on the girl" he told Castiel.

Castiel nodded towards the bed. "No change." he said wrinkling his brow, "She hasn't even moved." then he sat the last box on the floor.

"So is she going to be staying here after she wakes up?" Chuck questioned.

"I would imagine that is up to her." he responded wiping his hands on his dirty jeans" adding , " If and when she wakes."

"Cass?" Chuck questioned nervously "You said she was special, what did you mean?"

"She's pregnant, she's healthy. Two things that are almost impossible in this world…. That's all." he told him as he headed for the door, not wanting to think about the real reasons he had come to think of her that way.

Chuck nodded his agreement, "Oh" Chuck said turning toward Castiel with a finger pointed, "Dean wants to see everybody around one… he's planning a bigger run, he wasn't happy with yesterdays haul." he shrugged.

Castiel chuckled again, irritated, "Of course he wasn't… where is he dragging us off to this time?"

"I dunno but, it would have to be pretty far out of our safe zone there isn't much left here." The man said shaking his head nervously.

Castiel bent and picked a fresh bottle out of one of the boxes and handed it to Chuck, then reached for his own half drunk bottle of whiskey, "There isn't much left anywhere." he mumbled before bringing the bottle to his lips.

XXX

Later in the day, after Castiel had found something to pass for breakfast, and he had changed out of his old and beaten blue jeans and t-shirt into another, cleaner pair of old and beaten jeans and a t-shirt, he sat cross legged at the foot of the bed and watched Molly.

The memory of the dream came back to him and he inched closer to her. After staring at her a while he got up and went to the chest where he had hidden the map. He looked at it with confusion as he unfolded it, but there it was, clear as day, the map with the route to the encampment marked in red. Written beside it, in his own handwriting a small note.

M-

You will find me here when it's time. -C

He had no knowledge of the map or the note but, it was undeniable. This was his handwriting, this was his map, he even initialed it.

Even more perplexing were the symbols on her hips. Alone in his cabin, and semi sober he could consider them properly, what they were and what their presence could mean.

The markings where more than just symbols, they were signatures of a sort. The marks of angels. The specific marks of specific angels. The one on her right hip was that of Maltiel, his friend, for most of his existence in heaven, his confidant and the first creature who had ever caused him to feel love and sorrow. This mark was part of this woman's body… she was born with it, leading him to wonder if Maltiel was born into this woman, in truth it led him to hope she had been. Maltiel had been banished, or so he thought, felt… she didn't see it that way at the time, but he was angry and he saw it no other way… now he wasn't sure.

He turned his attention to the other mark, this one was as baffling to him as the map. This mark had been seared into her flesh and done recently by the looks of it. It was his mark… He had never marked a human in this manner he was certain… not in this way. It was recent but, he no longer possessed the power to do so and hadn't for several years.

His head hurt again just thinking about it, it simply wasn't possible. Again he felt the ache for home, for his true self. He had spent most of the last few years drowning that pain in pills, liquor and women and now, with Molly's presence, none of those things seemed effective. Just who the hell was she, he wondered?