CHAPTER THREE: "THE BOX…IS NOT A BEEPER"
WARNING: The types of people we usually harass have come to our turf to harass us and trash OUR building. Told you this would be the likes of something never before seen here. [Keep all hands, arms and fingers inside the ride at all times]
Fun Fact: Time to choose up sides…
A/N Okay for those wondering as to the full rules and object of this Game.
The specifications Spenser made included killing rights to Xipe Totec, and when he is present, he is the only one besides Cassi (and Aslan and likely Magneto) that can kill him. In addition to this, Spenser is the first Assistant to be vulnerable to death but only if it's done by Xipe. The "Game" they play is killing or humiliating each other in whatever creative way they can imagine. They are allowed any teammates they want but only they can kill each other with whatever weapons they can come up with. Joey, who is probably going to end up with Elliot, is awarded with the Xanth Talent of bringing him and his team mates back to life or 'waking them up.' With so many potential gory deaths on the horizon, the Med Team said "NO!" Other details and there was more (including Elliot's arsenal) will be mentioned later on. We will have another to bring Xipe and his team back when they get killed, but the choice is up to him. [No comment]
The further rules for the Game players (or team mates) will be dictated by Aslan in this chapter...and yes Leviathan was paid VERY well for allowing the cenobites to join this mess. (Even if Aslan neglected to tell us he made such a payment)
In the Labyrinth, after the events of the last couple days, there were predictably several rumors flying about. The one that most of the cenobites couldn't believe was that Leviathan had allowed the separation of not one but two of them. Dreamer, having already heard that Xipe and Captain Spenser would likely be separated again was soon surprised to hear from Xipe on his return that she and Camerahead had also been included on the deal.
Dreamer had been confused until she'd learned that it was Elliot Spenser who had voiced the condition and that it was for the benefit of Joey Summerskill. Dreamer, having grown comfortable the way she was had chosen not to be separated. Terri was happy as she was. Joey's camera man, Doc, on the other hand, couldn't be restrained. He'd been more than willing to go straight back that evening.
When Dreamer refused, assuring her leader she was content, she did however ask one request. Hearing of the place they would be going to, she had asked for permission to be allowed to visit the place that sounded like a lot of fun to her.
Mildly amused at her interest, he had agreed. Nikoletta had also requested to join him, and in addition to the two female cenobites, he was also planning to take with him the Chatterbeast, the Siamese Twins, and Chatterer. Whatever other cenobites wished to join later, he would add them as he went.
Upon finally returning to his quarters that evening, Xipe stopped short at the large Lion seated in a corner. No one had mentioned Aslan making an appearance in the Labyrinth that night to him.
"Is there something else she wants?" Xipe questioned after a moment, wondering if perhaps he'd done something.
"Not at all." He replied, reassuringly. "I am here for my own reasons."
"I have agreed to the restrictions."
"I know that." Aslan returned. "The restrictions are another matter. What I came to discuss is the real reason I allowed them to call on you."
Frowning, the demon waited for him to continue.
"Cassi and the others, as you've seen have been causing mischief to people, whether wanted or not for roughly ten years now. They decide on people they wish to 'drive insane' or add to their number and they go after them, willing or not."
"I did notice that." Xipe admitted.
"They would have done the same with you."
"Why didn't they?"
"Because it was I who suggested perhaps you would come willingly."
Hearing this, Xipe seated himself in a stone chair, giving the Lion his full attention. Obviously this arrangement was about to get more interesting.
"I have been watching over that place since Cassi approached me about using Narnia for one of her Spoofs. I have been watching each of their parties of mischief since then and have seen the older ones as well. They are not always welcome in the places they destroy."
"But they did say they put everything back afterwards and no one is wiser." Xipe pointed out.
"True." Aslan agreed. "But of all places they've destroyed, they still remain particular about their own Complex. The last major mess they had there was when the Jumanji Game was opened and that was more in Middle Earth and the Shadow World."
Xipe gave a thoughtful look. "Are you allowing us to trash their complex?"
"I merely propose you will follow my rules first and Cassi's second." Aslan replied. "Whatever serious damages I will put back when the game is over."
"And the people we are allowed to kill?"
"Only those willingly involved in the Game between you and Captain Spenser. Whether they be Assistant or not, by joining the Game, they are vulnerable to death." Aslan confirmed. "To be brought back of course as you well know."
Xipe shrugged. "But then we can kill them again."
The Lion nodded. "The ones with Xanth talents though will still be able to use them."
Xipe considered this. He had since realized that not everyone had Archie's force field ability. The talents ranged from simple to powerful and all were different. However, there were also some loopholes in the talents if one looked close enough for a way around it.
"In the matter of their opening the box for you, I will see that you are paid in full and you will not need sacrifice." Aslan finished.
"Is that something I get now or later?"
The Lion motioned to a table nearby. "It is already here."
Xipe stood, walking over to the table. He frowned, seeing only a rolled piece of parchment-like scroll. "What is this?"
"It is the Contract of San Venganza." Aslan answered watching him unroll it and take a look. "It contains a thousand souls, already cursed, and the one who was in possession of it did not wish to keep it, so it fell to me."
Xipe stared in amazement. A thousand more souls to add to the Labyrinth. "Very well. We have an agreement." He finally responded, with a slow grin.
[Xanth is from Piers Anthony's Xanth books. "A Spoof of Chameleon" and "Youth Elixir 1," the first Breaktime Spoof established a lot of the Xanth talents of our cast. People who have arrived since then have later acquired talents as they go—any Xanth talents will be mentioned as each character joins the Game, so you don't need to go back and look them up]
(Lucy Sparrow was originally Lucy Knight from ER: Xanth talent, Magician Class; Transformation of inanimate objects within 6ft of her)
Early the next morning, Ms. Joanne Summerskill was escorted through the main foyer entrance by a blonde woman who had introduced herself as Dr. Lucy Sparrow.
Lucy had showed up at Joey's apartment very early in the morning with a Polaroid photo. Upon seeing it . . . well it was a good thing Lucy was a doctor. Fortunately she had brought medical supplies enough to cover a fainting spell.
Joey had quickly agreed to go with Lucy to the Spoof Complex. The photo had been of Elliot very much alive. He had written a small note on the back of the picture asking her to please go with Lucy because he needed to speak with her.
After Joey's shock had worn off, she had asked several questions in the car on the way. Lucy had answered what she'd been told to, but most of it she couldn't. She had, however informed her that Spenser and Xipe, the demon Joey had called 'Pinhead,' had been separated again and this time, Elliot wasn't a ghost, nor was he dead and that Xipe was in fact still in hell. (For the moment. Shhh don't tell) They had not allowed Lucy to tell her anything else.
Lucy led Joey into the main waiting room and showed her a seat. "I'll let him know you're here." She told the woman before she left the room. Lucy, though she was one of Sven's Assistants, not Cassi's, still wore her badge that identified her as an Assistant Director.
In the waiting room, Joey looked around in amazement at the different people not only seated in the chairs, but behind the desks or coming and going.
Across from her a blond guy was seated in a chair with a mechanics magazine. In the chairs beside him sat a group of odd looking dolls or puppets, two per chair. Three chairs over sat a blonde woman with another one seated in her lap, looking almost as if it were reading the magazine with her. (This is because the last time they were in, Cassi objected to his keeping his co-stars in a trunk. It was inhumane.)
Off to another side, a black police officer was seated beside a young blonde girl looking about twelve. She was wearing a school uniform and a large pink suitcase was parked beside her.
From the back door, a man and a woman both with reddish long hair came walking through. The man wore a badge reading AD1, but it was what the woman was carrying that caught Joey's attention. She had the puzzle box.
Seeing her shocked look, the man turned toward her. "May I help you?" He asked loudly.
Joey, seeing her chance stood. "I was just wondering what you were going to do with that?" She asked, motioning to the box.
The woman shrugged. "I was gonna take it over there and open it up." She answered matter of factly.
"You ….were going to open it?"
"Yeah." She replied. "Archie couldn't get it open and we were told not to break it…this time."
"Do you even have any idea what that thing is?" Joey asked, staring.
The woman cast a sly sideways glance at her friend and finally turned back to Joey looking completely serious. "Now don't tell me." She ordered, taking a closer look at the box in her hands. "This…..is…an 18th Century-made French Beeper, right?"
Joey stared at her aghast.
From the main entry, in a group of people a young man in a black trench coat burst into laughter, sliding down the wall. "I'm gonna tell him you said that!" He shouted, in stitches.
Joey's head jerked around and she frowned, getting a better look at the young man as he pulled himself back up and came closer. At first, she had seen only the black coat, but as she could see him more clearly, it was obvious that he was definitely not a cenobite. She did, however have the impression he was not a human either, but a demon of some sort.
"You just could not resist coming down here, could you, Blackheart?" The redheaded man asked.
Blackheart gave a demented grin. "I wanna play too." He replied, innocently. "I'll follow all the rules. Just don't send me back to Daddy! Please!"
Joey's confused look became more pronounced. She knew there was a lot that Lucy was not allowed to tell her. Backing away from the conversation with Blackheart, she slowly returned to her seat.
From across the room, the blond man was now frowning and leaning over to talk with the woman and the puppets, it would appear. After a moment, he looked up at her and motioned to the box the other woman was now carrying off to the side and mouthed a question. "What is it?"
From the other seats, the police officer was also looking at her expectantly, as was the young girl.
"Is it bad?" The police officer questioned.
Joey chewed her lip. "It was the last time I saw it."
The group exchanged a glance and quickly motioned for her to get over where they could talk.
Ignoring the waiting room, Blackheart had joined Archie and Cassi with the box. "Do you have a sacrifice?" He asked.
"Grab a clone." Cassi replied. "He hates them, but hey, that's what we have. It isn't like they don't have a soul he can rip up."
"Do we have to wait for another one to open it again?" Archie complained.
Blackheart sat the clone on the floor and took the box from Cassi. "No, I know how to open it and I don't have a soul he can grab."
"Shame you didn't keep that thousand." Cassi remarked. "We could have given him one at a time for as long as we needed him!"
Blackheart looked her straight in the eye, flipping her the bird. "F**k off!" He snapped, as he solved the box. "You didn't have to live with them all for four years!"
"That's five bucks in the Potty-Mouth Bucket." Archie ordered, pointing at the Compy running up with the hot pink bucket.
Rolling his eyes, Blackheart tossed the money in the bucket. Unfortunately that was one of the rules Aslan had confirmed were still in effect.
The group in the chairs looked up as the lighting in the room changed.
"They opened it that fast?" Joey asked, staring.
"I think the guy in black did it." The blond, who'd introduced himself as Rick Myers responded.
"So what now, those demons come out?" The police Officer, Marcus asked.
Joey didn't have to answer. The same pinheaded demon Lucy had called Xipe was the first one through the doorway. Though instead of taking the creature that was obviously the sacrifice, he looked at the three who had called him and went directly to the redheaded woman who seemed to be in charge.
Grabbing her by the front of her shirt he calmly backed her up against a wall.
Everyone in the room stood to get a closer look.
Xipe, unphased by being called from a corner of what was obviously the waiting room, stared Cassi in the face as he held her in place. "I need you to repeat this back to me to make sure you get it through your pathetically scattered human brain this time!"
Cassi, with a completely serious face, looked him directly in the eye, expectantly.
"The box . . . is NOT a beeper!"
Joey, taken aback, stared in confusion. What?!
Cassi's gaze had shifted to something off to his right. Growling, Xipe placed his hands on either side of her face, blocking out anything else. "What did I say?"
"Beats me, weren't you listening either?" She responded innocently.
Off to the side, Archie was biting his hand to keep from laughing and Blackheart wasn't doing much better.
Ignoring the other two, Xipe stared her down.
"Okay okay. Yeesh." Cassi finally replied, rolling her eyes. "The box is not a beeper."
Clenching his jaw, Xipe held her gaze. "Again!" He ordered. "And FOCUS this time!"
Cassi stared him in the face, perfectly imitating his blank emotionless look. "The box . . . is NOT a beeper!" She promptly responded.
Satisfied, he let her go and turned away.
"But if you'd just wear a beeper like I told you to, this would be sooo much easier!" She argued behind his back.
Facing the other direction, Xipe ground his teeth, his fists clenched. Instead of reacting the way he wanted to he merely drilled the clone on the floor full of chains and ripped it apart right where it sat in the corner of the waiting room.
(Much to the surprise and disgust of a lot of people standing around…and we will mention some had to run for the bathrooms.)
Cassi stared in outrage. "What have you done to my floor?"
Xipe turned looking completely innocent. "You were the one that put it here." He pointed out. "I just accepted it."
"Archie?"
"Yes, love." H responded. "He says to say when."
"WHEN!" She shouted.
From the back door, a figure in black cenobite leather emerged, a black bandanna over his head and a sawed-off shotgun in his hands. Showing vividly was the badge reading 'AD3.'
Xipe turned just in time to see a grinning Spenser pull the trigger.
Cassi, Archie and Blackheart had wisely stepped back out of the way.
Elliot walked over to the dead demon on the floor that had been shot just below the neck. "Five points!" He announced to another figure standing in the same doorway. He looked back at Cassi. "Sorry for making the mess on the floor bigger."
"It's okay I got satisfaction out of it." Cassi replied. "Have the Jawas come mop this up."
"And tell Medical we need Totec brought back already." Archie added. He turned looking through the doorway. "Ladies and gentlemen…and Chatterbeast." He spoke up loudly. "I am assuming you have been familiarized with the rules of the Game, and are prepared to play on your leader's side…as soon as we get him back again…but for the moment, I'll ask you if you would like to take a seat in the waiting room, and Miss, I'm sorry but this is a no smoking complex so please put it out. The main Director is allergic to it."
Joey had completely missed Archie's announcement to what could only be other cenobites. Having known Elliot was alive; her initial surprise was more when he had taken down the demon with only a shotgun. Although, when she had caught sight of the other man in the doorway behind Elliot, she nearly fainted again. It was Doc. Her friend looked about the same as he had when he'd last seen her (alive, not in cenobite form) except for the fact that he too was dressed in cenobite armor, though it was NOT sewn to his skin this time.
"What is going on here?" She asked Doc in disbelief.
Elliot returned his sawed-off to its holster and walked back to them. "This way." He spoke up waving her through the back door. "I'll explain as we go."
A hand caught his sleeve. "Explain now." The Puppet Master ordered, motioning to the puppet on the chair that was now holding six tiny guns aimed at him and laughing slowly.
Elliot stopped and blinked. "Are those real? Because that's rather cute."
Six-Shooter fired one gun into the doorframe.
"Yes." Rick assured him.
"It won't work on me." Elliot informed him. "Only he and the Directors can kill me." He pointed at the body of the demon on the floor.
Rick looked at the puppet and nodded.
Six-Shooter put his guns up.
"We were in here for one meeting already." Rick told Elliot. "We agreed to the terms and they were supposed to set us up with a place to stay."
"Hey us too!" The young girl cut in.
Holding up a finger to Joey and Doc, Elliot moved closer. "And you are?"
"Mindy Macready." The girl replied. "They wanted me to work for them, but I said only if they gave me my dad back."
Elliot frowned. "Who is your father?"
"Damon Macready." Marcus informed him. "He was killed by a mafia boss. They said that they could bring him back."
"Well, then he'd be in Med Lab." Spenser told them. "That's where they're taking Xipe over there, so why don't you go with the medical people when they come get him? Tell them I told you to."
Mindy nodded. "Cool. Thanks."
Elliot turned back to Rick. "And I'll send the Second AD out to help you, alright?"
Rick nodded. "Okay."
"Come on man, the others are really glaring at you over there!" Doc called from the doorway.
Elliot turned and gave a smile and a wave to the other cenobites before turning and leaving with Doc and Joey.
Still in the waiting room Rick and Suzie Myers exchanged a glance and tried not to stare at the very odd group of cenobites now seated across from them.
Chatterbeast had seated himself on the floor and the twins had moved to a couch.
Within moments, a blond haired man with blue eyes, sporting a badge reading 'AD2' opened the door. He motioned to Rick and Suzie to follow him. Rick stepped back and let the puppets go on ahead of him.
Across the room, the cenobites were now trying not to stare at the weird guy with the walking dolls.
Meanwhile in Med Lab, Xipe was not amused. "I'm going to kill him." He muttered, accepting the wet towel Blackheart held out to him for wiping the blood off.
"I believe he has Doc, Lights, Murdoch, Lowe, and Moody on his side so far. Maybe some others." Blackheart informed him, handing him a slip of paper. "And that Joey that just got here is the one they're having that can bring them back."
Xipe frowned. "Joey?" He questioned; his head jerking back as he stared at Blackheart.
"Yeah, just got here, was out in the waiting room but left with him."
Xipe glared. His inability to read minds here was getting on his nerves.
(Joey is several years older and has changed her hair color, so without his telepathic abilities working, Xipe did not recognize her, but then he was also rather preoccupied at that point too)
From another area in Med Lab, Mindy frowned, watching the two demons with interest. Her suitcase on wheels sat on the floor at her feet. Listening to the two of them talk, an interested grin came slowly to her face.
Casually she looked up. Marcus had gone to see about her father. The doctors had said he was indeed there and that they could have him back within five minutes.
When Mindy turned back, the pin faced demon was looking right at her. Meeting his gaze, she calmly pulled out one of her butterfly knives and began to flip it around before hurling it across the room in their direction.
The pin faced demon, much to her surprise, caught the knife in his right hand . . . blade first.
Xipe, the knife impaled through his right palm, quietly walked over to the young girl and held it out. "Did you want that back?" He asked, politely.
Behind him, Blackheart grinned, shaking his head with a chuckle.
A/N so which side should get the following? Freddy and Wolverine (they hang out a lot together- Freddy has a set of adamantium gloves we gave him (retractable) and he can shape shift from normal to burned as per his Xanth talent. Logan…needs no Xanth talent. –Sorry Jason may not join at all. He was pretty much put out of commission by a 5 yr old girl, Ivy. "He's super brainy smart and the nicest man in the whole world!" As per Ivy's talent…unfortunately this was made true. Then Drusilla pushed him into a Love Spring and the two of them got married. They now have a son named William Angelus Voorhees. I told you this place did the weirdest things to people. (However we'll see about it—probably on the side opposite Freddy if at all)
Comming up: Carter and Ardeth join the fun and the "US Psychos" are sent out to hunt down one Kirsty Cotton...who has no idea what she's walking into.
Please don't hesitate to give me your honest opinion of my insanity. I'm mainly writing this to fill some time and ease some personal stress. I knowingly admit that I am insane and yes I have lost my mind. Let me know if you find it.
-cassi
