A/N: Haha! A much faster update than before! Enjoy the final chapter!

Thanks all reviewers!!!

No one told me which they liked better (all-dialogue or not) so I'll go with what comes to me!

Typical Fight

Part 3: Shagging

"Ron?"

"I think I'll end my life now, Harry."

"Why?"

"Hermione is going out with bloody Neville!"

"You just used 'bloody' and 'Neville' in the same sentence. I swear the world is ending!"

"Shut up, you prat! You are so unsympathetic! The girl I love is bloody snogging with bloody Longbottom, who I will shoot when I find courage enough to leave this bloody room!"

"What, only three?"

"What are you bloody talking about?"

"Four! I'm satisfied!"

"What? I swear, Harry, you'll go next…"

"Damn. You didn't say 'bloody' that time."

"I thought you were satisfied?"

"Wh—Ginny! How did you get in here? I'm not wearing a bloody shirt!"

"Ew, Ron, too much information. By the way, Harry, that'd be five."

"YES! Ron, you said 'bloody' five times in the last two minutes! A new record."

"Comforting."

"So, Harry, are we gonna go?"

"Where?"

"You remember those secret passages?"

"WILL YOU TWO NOT PLAN YOUR WEDDING IN FRONT OF ME PLEASE!"

"Chill, Ron!"

"You won't?"

"We already did."

"Oh Merlin. Not only are my best friend and my sister getting married (May I mention in fourth and third year) but my love life is over because bloody Hermione is going out with bloody Krum and bloody Neville bloody Longbottom!"

"Four, one sentence," Harry said, jumping up and down.

"New record!" Ginny said, high-fiving him.

"Shut up!"

"Ron?" Hermione had suddenly appeared in the room.

"Hermione?"

"Can we talk—outside?"

"Is Longbottom with you?"

"Oh yeah, me and sexy Neville Longbottom are busy sha—"

"EEEW! Don't talk about shagging Neville Longbottom!" Ginny said, hiding her face in Harry's chest.

"Don't talk about shagging anyone but me!Er—I mean, I—I—" Ron blushed scarlet.

"Um, awkward! Well, Harry and I will go now, while we're on the subject…" Ginny said, grabbing Harry's hand.

"Okay, sufficiently disgusting topic…especially because I can imagine that happening…"

"Hah, even Hermione imagines us together, Ginny!" Harry said, kissing her.

"Shall we, then?"

"We shall!"

"EEW! Get out of my life, Harry you bloody bast—" Ron was interrupted.

"Whoa. No swearing at Snookers, Ronnie."

"Shut up. Wait, did you just call Harry 'Snookers'…?"

"You don't talk to my Ginny-poo-poo like that, Ron-Honey-Pie! I told you that already!"

"Well you don't talk to my Ronnikins like that, Harry James Potter!" Hermione said hotly.

"What?" Ron asked, mortified, yet a bit pleased in a weird way.

"Um, er, I mean, I meant 'friend who I like as more and I like to call Ronnikins.' NO! I meant, when I said, 'friend who I like as more and I like to call Ronnikins, 'friend who I like as…as…a...sweater?"

"Nice cover, Hermy," Ginny said, privately thinking she'd better remember to call Harry a sweater, because Ron looked turned on…

"Whoa! It's Hermione, nothing more, nothing less!" he said sharply.

"Chill, Ronnie-pie. I was just kidding! Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to shag in peace!" Ginny said, about to leave, when—

"Eew. Just gross mental picture, dear heart," Ron said.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. She's my dear heart."

"MY LIFE IS GOING NOWHERE IN THIS ROOM! CAN WE GET ON WITH IT?" Ron screamed.

"Oh, Ron, let's just hide in the closet and get this sorted out," Hermione said wearily.

"…"

"Not like that! Oh, Merlin, I mean, like, it's a saying in the Muggle world: a skeleton in the closet is a secret. So, like, if we go into the closet and find the secret…" Hermione blushed as red as Ginny's hair.

"Riight. C'mon Harry, the Transfiguration classroom might be free. If not, there's always the Room of Requirement!" Ginny cooed.

"Ugh, you two are irrepressible!" Hermione groaned.

"And you two aren't? Get real, Hermione, dear!"

"Oh no you didn't, Ginny!" Ron said, standing possessively in front of Hermione.

"This is ridiculous. Ron, come on. We call the Room of Requirement! Uh, I mean, to work it out, not…um…" Hermione said, trailing off, turning an impossible shade of red.

"Whatever," Harry said, rolling his eyes. He was getting impatient.

"Ron! Lay down again!" Ginny suddenly screeched.

"Why, Ginny?"

"You aren't wearing a bloody shirt!"

"Well I like his new look," Harry said with an approving nod.

"Harry! You bloody cheating bast—" Ginny yelled.

Ron cut her off. "Thought we couldn't call him that?"

"Shut up, shirtless."

"You know, I agree with Harry," Hermione whispered.

"You sound like Luna! Your voice is all dreamy…" Ginny laughed.

"Stop laughing, Gin, I didn't mean it…it was a joke…"

"I will never call you Hermione the Innocent again. Or Hermione the Naive."

"Shut up, Ginny,"

"Hermione, me, Room of Requirements! While you three were fighting, I got full clothed," Ron said proudly.

"Damn!" Harry shouted.

"Double damn!" Hermione added.

"Harry! Hermione! Control yourself!" Ginny spat, looking disgusted.

"Yeah, and your hormonal urges!" Ron added, then, "Eew. Hormonal urges…in my direction?"

"What can I say, Ron? You're dead sexy," Harry—or was it Hermione?—said dreamily.

"Harry, we are over!"

"No! Ginny, I didn't say that! I swear on Godric Gryffindor's holy grave it was Hermione," Harry said, pleading at her feet.

"You think I'm dead sexy?" Ron asked tentatively.

"I think Harry's dead sexy," Ginny butted in.

"You know, I return the feeling," Ron said with a nod in Harry's direction, which was returned.

"Ron!" Hermione cried, scandalized.

"Sorry!"

"Well, Ginny, I think you're dead sexy too!" Harry added.

"Good, come on. Maybe McGonagall is in a good mood…" Ginny said, and she grabbed Harry's hand. They finally left in search of an empty classroom.

"Alone at last, Hermione. Look, I think based on what we let slip—" Ron began,

Only to have Hermione interrupt with, "That I am dead in love with you and think kissing you till you beg for mercy is the best cure?"

"What?" Ron squeaked, his ears red. But he was looking strangely excited.

"I didn't say that…um…I…" Hermione smiled weakly.

"Riight. Well, I agree, so, shall we get to it?" Ron asked, readying his lips.

"I think that would be a damn good idea."

THE REAL END

A/N: Sorry if you couldn't tell who was talking. Also, I know Harry didn't like Ginny till 6th year and nothing happened between R/Hr in 4th year, but I liked how they were really rather young. Did you like it? REVIEW!!!!!!

Sorry if it sounded not-funny or forced funny-ness. Like I said, I'm not incredibly good at jokes…

A/N 2: I modified this because some readers were a bit grossed out…I personally enjoyed this chapter, but I made it a bit cleaner. Sorry if I didn't satisfy you! And I know everyone is horribly OOC…oh well, it's hard!