A/N: Man, you guys are awesome! Them puns though xD Anyways, uploads will be much quicker now! I'm finally on break :D


"MEOWWWWWWWWWWWW!" I screeched and leapt into the air, aiming straight for England's face. Spain screamed out in alarm, but I was far too furious to heed that dumbass jerk bastard any attention.

It was just my luck that England had already been anticipating this reaction. The Brit simply scoffed and raised a hand to the air. A pulse of purple light exploded from his palm, directly hitting me in the stomach mid-jump. Time froze, and I soon found myself suspended in mid-air, unable to move.

I blinked and looked around the room despite not being able to turn my head. Spain was completely frozen with his mouth hanging open, his green eyes as wide as saucers. If I could, I would have smirked at the derpy expression on his face. Balls. That would have made for some great black mailing material.

England straightened his posture, clicking his tongue in annoyance. "I was hoping that you would be a bit more cooperative."

I glared daggers at England as he set down his pet carrier. "Growl if you understand what I'm saying," he commanded in his infamous holier-than-thou voice.

He didn't have to ask me twice. I growled low in my throat, imaging all the different ways that I could carve up his face with my claws.

England cleared his throat, his eyebrows unfurrowing with relief. "Good. Now, here's what's going to happen next. I'm going to undo this freezing spell, but only if you promise not to attack me."

I passively rolled my eyes and let him continue…not that I had much of a choice.

"I'll take that as a yes," England gave me a strained smile. "Alright, I'm undoing the spell now. It would be in your best interest to pretend to be fond of me."

I hissed through my teeth.

England grunted. "Oh come now! No need to be so pissy," he scolded. "I can't speak with you in private if Spain's going to worry about you clawing my eyes out."

My glare faltered. The deep-throating scone bastard had a point.

England nodded his head, taking my lack of growling as his response. "Best ready yourself then. The spell will wear off in 3…2…1…"

England sharply snapped his fingers.

Time resumed.

"Romano no!" Spain cried out as I hurdled straight for England's face. "Bad tsundere kitty!"

The island nation caught me with both arms and I snuggled up to his chest, feeling absolutely disgusted with myself. England let out a plastic laugh, using his hand to scratch the back of my ears.

PURRRRR.

I clenched my jaw shut and suppressed the slutty urge to rub my head further into his hand.

England chuckled. "Ha! Looks like someone's happy to see me!"

I tensed a little and considered taking a good chunk out of England's hand. I changed my mind when I spotted the jealous expression on Spain's face.

The Spaniard's tanned cheeks flushed a bright pink. "Que?!" he exclaimed, taking a hesitant step forward. "I've never seen him act like this! He's always so grumpy!"

"Grumpy you say?" England smirked as he cradled my body in his arms.

Spain reached out to pat my head, but just to be spiteful, I hissed and snapped my teeth at him.

"Ay!" Spain yelped, quickly pulling back his hand.

England scratched my ears one last time before he set me down on all fours. I kept up the façade by rubbing my body along his pant leg. As you can see, dignity was merely a fad of the past.

"Well, aren't you going to let your guest in?" England tutted. "I don't have all day you know."

Spain pursed his lips. I knew him well enough to know that he was biting down on his temper. I could practically feel the anger radiating off his body. But, since I too was a dabbler in the fine art of shit-disturbing, I decided not to do anything. I sat down on my hind legs and flicked my tail back and forth in amusement. It was always entertaining for me to watch their old rivalry play out into modern times.

"Si, of course!" Spain trilled, despite not fooling anyone in the slightest. With my now improved hearing, I could hear the Spaniard's teeth grind against each other.

"How silly of me to be stunned when a nation that I never talk to shows up at my house for the reason of having a kitty play date! That's totally not bizarre at all! Ahahaha!"

Spain's laugh could very easily be interpreted as aggressive. Despite his cheery façade, his eyes were narrowed in distaste.

England, who couldn't be bothered to read the now tense atmosphere, took off his shoes, bent down to grab his pet carrier, and strode off into the living room. Spain cursed under his breath and followed after the intruding island nation.

"Do you ever clean up in here?" England snapped with a disapproving tone.

"Not really, no! Perhaps I could use that mop you call hair to clean up that shitty attitude of yours~!"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Hmm? Oh, don't mind me. I'm just really glad that you're here~!"

"…Why do I get the feeling that you're being sarcastic?"

"Who? Me?! No! You're crazy!"

Literally, the Spaniard thought to himself, but didn't dare to say.

I was pacing back and forth in the living room. England was busy distracting Spain in the kitchen. Only when the tomato bastard was gone would we be able to have a chat. And by chat, I mean rage quit because I was going to meow the fuck out of that idiot's ears.

As I twitched about, I could feel the burn of England Cat's judgemental glare. The little bastard huffed, puffed, and complained about anything that his erratic pea brain could think of. I had only spent half an hour with him and I could already tell that England had spoiled this cat rotten.

The bell on England Cat's green collar jingled as he shook his head at me in disapproval. "I say, when was the last time you brushed your fur?"

"It's not proper to have your nails grow out that long!"

"When was the last time you gave yourself a bath?"

"You're one of those street urchins, aren't you? I just know it."

I looked over my shoulder and hissed at the obnoxiously pompous feline. "Piss off. Don't you have something better to do? Like, oh I don't know, lick your royal furry balls?"

England Cat huffed, clearly taking offense to my offpawed comment. "Well I never!"

England Cat still nonetheless proceeded to lift his hind leg and give himself a tongue bath.

I turned away in disgust and plopped down onto all fours.

Five minutes passed before a frantic England came scrambling into the living room.

England Cat automatically meowed in whining. "Arthur! Arthur! Get me away from this twat! He doesn't even bother to clean himself properly!"

England, who clearly didn't understand cat language, bent down to pet his mewling feline. "Now, now Liam. There's no need to get so upset. You'll have your afternoon caviar in no time, I assure you."

Liam growled and whined until England relented and placed him back into his cushioned pet carrier.

England then turned around to face me. "I suppose that you'd like an explanation for…" the nation cast a wayward glance at my swishing tail. "…this?" he finished.

"MEOOOOOW!" I padded/stomped over to England, baring my sharp canines at him.

England winced, crossing his legs as he sat himself down on the ground as well. "Oh, that's right. Before I forget."

The island nation pressed an index finger to my forehead. Warmth spread over my body, eventually settling at the back of my throat.

"You can speak now," England affirmed.

I opened my mouth in retort, but England was quick to clamp a hand over it. "I said you can speak, not scream at the top of your lungs."

"You better fix this, you bastard! I'm about two seconds away from clawing your eyes out!" I snarled, secretly relishing in the joy of being able to speak again. My voice was muffled, but I was still loud enough for England to hear me.

"I can't fix anything if you don't let me speak."

"England, if you expect me not to be angry about being turned into a cat, then you're out of your goddamned fucking mind! You're just lucky that I haven't torn out your throat at this point!" I seethed.

"Listen," England hissed. "We don't have much time before Spain gets back."

"Where the fuck did you send him off to?" I hissed back in retort.

England shrugged. "The market. I told him to pick up some ingredients for lunch."

I deadpanned. It was no wonder that China regularly lost his shit on England. The other nations weren't his servants. Believe it or not, he didn't own the world like he used to. Shocking, I know.

"So what now?" I asked.

England sighed. "We wait. Whenever I'm drunk, I always forget to put a protective seal around my spells. The one that I cast on you should wear off by the end of the day."

"End of the day meaning…?"

"I don't know exactly how long, if that's what you're asking. It varies depending on the person, really. That's why I'm here. I want to make sure that you don't experience any unintended side effects."

"Side effects?!" I spluttered.

"They're nothing to worry about," England tried to reassure me. "You may meow occasionally, or sprout fur in random places, but other than that, nothing too serious!"

"Do you even listen to yourself?!" I roared. "How the fuck am I going to explain spontaneously meowing during a World Conference?!"

England shrugged. "What does it matter? Nobody listens anyways."

I groaned and rolled on the ground, resignedly flopping onto my back. "Fuck my life."

I turned my head in England's direction. "Fuck you for doing this to me."

England raised his hands in surrender. "Oi! You were the one who came to me for help!"

"Well I certainly didn't ask you to turn me into a cat!" I fumed. "All I wanted was for Spain to love me. Is that so fucking hard to ask for?"

England sighed in defeat. "Both of our love lives are quite pathetic, aren't they?"

"Si," I conceded. "But at least we can share our misery together."

England nodded his head, grunting lowly in approval. I twitched my whiskers at England, the kitty equivalent of a smirk. My smug expression faltered when England's eyes widened in alarm. I followed his gaze to find Spain standing at the archway of the living room, his mouth agape.

"Um, call me crazy, but did that cat just speak?"

To be continued…