Chapter Three – The Consequence

"Dear Padfoot,

You are a shit…"

I wonder what his face will look like when he gets home and finds the note on the kitchen table…

"...an unbelievable, total fucking shit…"

…with one of the best steak-knives slammed through the word 'Padfoot', the blade embedded a good quarter-inch into the table-top itself. Will he be more concerned for the table, perhaps?…

"…but worse than that, you're a liar. You have lied to my face time and time again…"

…Just how bloody gullible does he think I am?…

"…Do you perhaps consider me somewhat less intelligent than, say, a jam croissant? Because I can assure you that I am capable of mustering more brain-power than the average preserve-filled pastry product, you know…"

…I wonder how long it will take him to work out that I've packed up all of my belongings; that there's not a trace of me left in the house anymore…

"…I accepted your excuse with Lily, as well you know. Dating a bisexual man does have the drawback of not being able to provide the facilities of both genders that he'd crave. It was plausible. It was probable. So I let it slide…"

…I clutch the envelope I'm carrying tighter in my hand, until I can see fingernail marks in the paper, so I relax my grip again…

"…I wrote two notes, you know. You're reading the second. The first is a detailed account of all the evidence I used to work out that you and Lily were screwing around with each other, including both your confessions. It's in an envelope , addressed to James at his work address…"

…how could he? Just how fucking could he?!…

"…Now I know that you're a sporting man, Padfoot, and you like a good game of chance, so here's a good one for you. My new room has a fireplace. If I pass a letterbox on my way, I shall post it. But if I still have it when I reach my room, I shall burn it…"

…I don't think he realises yet that I've been following him for the past week. You'd think that after getting caught with Lily, he'd lay off the bits-on-the-side, wouldn't you? I once thought that the worst thing that could happen to our relationship would be if he cheated on me with another woman. But after his explanations and apologies, I realised that the worst thing that could happen was actually if he cheated on me with another man

"…I know that his name is Mediwizard Bryn Jones. I know that you meet in the 'Pestle and Mortar' after work when you're working late or on your lunch hour together. I know that you prefer to fuck him in the left-hand cubicle of the gents. I know that he prefers you to take him in the position he calls doggy-style (how apt! ha!) And I know that you're cheating on him with Healer Janet Barnes, whom you shagged in sluice-room two on the fourth floor…"

…Ah! There's something red coming up on my left. Oh, deary, deary me, Sirius – it appears to be a letterbox…

"…Don't try to deny it. I simply will not tolerate being lied to any more…"

…but as I pause, still gripping the letter through the slot of the letterbox, I suffer one of my dratted moments of conscience. Because even though posting the letter would spectacularly let me get my own back at him, and also at Lily, it would destroy James – I mean, who would it hurt most, eh? Apart from me, that is…

"…because it's time to face facts, Padfoot. You're pathetic. A total fucking loser. Nobody can ever be enough for you, can they? And it's take, take, take, with never a second's thought about who you hurt, or how, or even why! You're scum. You're a disappointing lover and a disappointment of a man. Because at the end of the day, you're just a shit of a bi, and you honestly make me so fucking angry that I'm afraid I just might hurt myself…"

…As I walk into the 'Three Broomsticks', Tom runs up to me, telling me how he's got a livid Sirius Black in his fireplace saying that he'll talk to me, please, let's talk about this when I've had a chance to have some time to myself and calm down, but for the love of God have I posted that letter yet? Now he's not one to pry into people's private lives, Tom tells me, but what on earth does he tell Sirius? I tell Tom that I'll deal with it, and he leads me behind the bar to the miniature fireplace in the back-room. Sirius sees me, and in a quiet voice immediately asks about me and my health, suddenly so very concerned about me. I'm so touched. So I decide to walk up to the fireplace before retiring to my new bed, and I give him my answer.

"Ooh, well, you know me, Padfoot – I just love a good mystery…"

The End