Chapter Three: You're still you
I pushed the door open to Baker's Street, almost whacking Mrs. Hudson. "Oh!" She jumped. "Tammy! Sherlock! He's-
"I know." I said. "I've come to talk to him again."
"Oh, good luck dear. He's upset."
"Who isn't?"
She exhaled and laid a hand on my arm. "How are you doing?"
I shook my head and looked at Mrs. Hudson as tears filled my eyes. "I don't know." She hugged me as I cried. "Oh God! I didn't want him to be dead. And now...he's here and it was all...a lie!"
"I'm so sorry my dear."
I sniffled and wiped my eyes as I straightened up. I can't cry anymore. I cried enough during his lifetime. "I've got to go. I need to talk with him."
Mrs. Hudson hugged me one last time. "Good luck dear.
"Thank you. We're going to need it." I muttered as I ran up the stairs.
I pushed his door open with a loud bang; Sherlock was in his bedroom, removing his shirt. I stomped towards him, but stopped short as I saw his back. His back, had welts and whip marks, as if he'd been tortured. All my anger whooshed out of me and I walked towards him. Sherlock, as if sensing my presence, paused, not moving.
I reached out, and touched a wound gently. "Your hands are cold." Sherlock murmured. "As always."
"What happened to you?" I asked. "You were beaten. Why?"
"I was wrapping up a mission undercover before coming here." He turned towards me. "What are you doing here?"
"I followed you." I stuck my hands in my pockets and shifted uncomfortably. "I've calmed down, somewhat, and I'd liked to talk now."
Sherlock nodded and reached for his shirt, putting it back on. "Ok."
"Don't you have to put something on those cuts?"
Sherlock shrugged. "I've got a salve of sorts; I'll put it on later."
"Get it and I'll put it on." Sherlock didn't offer a protest; he obediently fetched me the small container of the salve. I walked out into the dining Sherlock followed me. "Take off your shirt," I instructed him. "and I'll apply it." Sherlock nodded and removed his shirt. I dipped a finger in, and rubbed it gently into the marks. Sherlock let out a small groan and I paused. "Does that hurt?"
"No." He said. "It feels wonderful." I frowned, wondering if the medication had a pleasing, cooling effect. "It's been a long time since I've felt your hands on me." His voice rattled my nerves and I paused for a second. "I've missed it. I've missed you."
"Stop it." I stiffened, forcing my guard up around my heart. "Don't try to get around me that way. It won't work."
"Always did."
"And that was before you disappeared for two years, without a word, leaving me to raise your children on my own."
"I didn't know you had babies." he stated. "How could I know? I had to stay away from London for the time being. God, you had babies? Actual twins?"
"Yes, I did."
"Mycroft didn't tell me. He knew that if I knew you were pregnant that I would go and put you in jeopardy, because of how I felt for you. It was so hard for me Tammy."
"Hard for you!?" My eyes watered. "Do you have any idea how hard it was for me? John! Oh, God, what you did to John!" I shook my head and slammed the salve down on the ground. "He cried so hard when they were born and he's been a wonderful uncle to them."
"I'm so sorry my love." I scowled at him. He's never called me that before. He reached up to stroke my cheek and I smacked his hand away. "But it was vital that I keep my identity hidden."
"If Andersen knew that you were alive then the others, who you were hiding from, must be exceptionally dense."
Sherlock frowned. "What does Andersen have to do with this?"
"Oh, he's been telling everyone for months that you're alive. He's even set up a club where people try to figure out how you faked your fall."
Sherlock chuckled. "Andersen would like to know that wouldn't he?"
"How did you fake it anyway?"
He tilted his head to the side. "You don't want to know 'why', first?"
I exhaled. "Put your shirt on." I walked over to the sink to wash my hands. "All right, I'd like to know 'why' first, then 'how', if you don't mind."
"I've got all night."
"I don't." I dried my hand towards Sherlock. He left his shirt unbuttoned, hanging open. I had a difficult time focusing on his face. We weren't legally married, but I wanted him, I wanted him near me. I was still attracted to him, dangerously attracted to him. But I had to fight the attraction because I needed to know where we were going to go from here. I set the rag down on the counter and leaned against it. "So? Explain away."
Sherlock exhaled. "Ok, uhm, Moriarty had to be stopped."
"He made you jump, didn't he?"
He frowned. "Not really. Moriarty's network had to be dismantled. John, Mrs. Hudson, Molly and Lestrade were in danger of being killed." I straightened slightly. "He'd hired assassins to take them out."
"And me?" I asked. "What was he going to do to me?"
Sherlock bit his lip. "You don't want to know."
"Yes, I do." I said firmly. "It had better be a good reason."
Sherlock was silent. "You were going to be kidnapped and tortured." My heart stopped as Sherlock continued. "I can't tell you the details."
"Because you don't know them?"
He shook his head. "No. because…it's to…gruesome for you to hear." I frowned at him. "All right. His elements of torture would have included violent forms of rape, chaining you up, beating you, starving you, stabbing you, and drugging you. And no, he'd do everything possible to keep you alive for a week under those condition." My stomach churned slightly. The sincerity in his eyes and the passionate tone in voice choked me up. "He told me about how after he'd have his men whip every layer of skin off your body, how you'd be sliced to pieces before being burnt."
"I see." I cross my arms. "He really hated me then?"
"He knew I loved you." I dropped my gaze to the floor, but Sherlock stepped forward, tilting my chin upwards. "I still do."
"Stop that."
"I don't know what happened between you and Charles, but I've come to conclusion that I don't want to loose you."
Curse that purring voice of his. Sherlock knew exactly how to break my heart. "Oh, you're a devil." I snarled. "You can twist the heart of a girl with words just as easy as one can break her arm to hurt her."
"Oh stop it with the movie quotes Tammy," he said in that annoyed tone of his. "it's really annoying."
"I am not-
"It's from My fair lady, Audrey Hepburn."
"It was a play before it was a movie and it just popped out! But it's true! That's exactly what you do! Every damn time!"
His brows rose. "You swore."
"Believe me Sherlock, I've done a lot of things since you've been gone. I am the creature you made me to be." The sound of a ringing doorbell startled me. I exhaled, realizing I should be going back to Charles. "I'm leaving."
"Actually, you're staying here."
"We're not married!"
"We were married and I'm not letting you out of my sight again. I can't!" His intense gaze caused me to pause. "You could call Charles but you're not going to do that."
"And why not?" I demanded.
"Because Charles just dropped the kids off."
I opened my mouth to argue, but I distinctly heard the sound of my babies crying. I hurried towards the door as Mrs. Hudson made her way up the stairs, holding onto each of their hands. Amy was there, carrying their collapsible cribs. "Oh my goodness." I hurried down the stairs. "What's going on?"
"Charles told me to bring them down here. There's an emergency at the hospital and I can't stay and watch them. I am so sorry, but I really, must be on my way home. I've got a date and I think he's going to propose tonight." She blushed happily. "I love him."
"Mommy." Linda whined, holding her arms out for me.
I knelt and picked her up. "I know. I'm sorry baby. You're tired. I know." I turned to Amy. "Thank you. I really appreciate it. I hope he's the one Amy."
I glanced at Sherlock; he'd knelt and was glaring at his son, who was glaring back at him. I watched the two of them, silently deducing each other. Sherlock jr. was the first to make a move, and he responding by walking up to Sherlock and latching onto Sherlock's shirt lapels. Sherlock was stunned for a moment, but he did pick up Sherlock Jr. I bit my lip and fought back the tears as I watched father and son together for the first time. I could see the instant Sherlock fell in love with his son and tears burned my eyes as he hugged him tightly, breathing in his baby scent.
I cleared my throat. "We need to get them set up for bed. Mrs. Hudson, my flat, is it open?"
She shook her head. "I'm sorry my dear. I've all ready leased it."
I exhaled. "I see."
"If you find Tammy and I some extra blankets," Sherlock says. "we'll be fine."
I spun around. "I am not sharing a bed with you."
"We're sharing the floor." He said turning on his heel and walking towards the bedroom. "And I will not listen to you making any feeble excuses Tammy. Come on."
I groaned and followed him as he grabbed the cribs with one hand and moved into the bedroom. He set Sherlock Jr. down and began setting up the cribs. Sherlock jr. latched onto his father's pant leg and wouldn't let go. Sherlock glowered down at him. "Attachable little thing isn't he?"
I shook my head as I set Linda down. "No, he's a loner. He must know who you are. He is your son after all. He never bonded to Charles like Linda has." I bit my lip before asking. "You didn't know?" I asked. "You honestly didn't know I was pregnant?"
"No, you weren't showing any signs that you were pregnant at the time."
"And you didn't deduce that there was something different about me now?"
"I was deducing your body language, not you." He said as he stepped towards me. I jumped slightly as he placed his hands on my waist, I would have pushed away, except he had his eyes closed. I stood there as he brought his hands up my waist. "I can see now. You've lost weight Tammy."
"I've never heard of unhappy people gaining weight before."
His hands ghosted over my breasts and I jumped. "Sorry. You've matured in some areas, appropriate for motherhood." He opened his eyes and my heart caught in my chest. "But you're still beautiful. Still the same woman I fell in love with." His voice became husky. "I remember how you felt under my hands. I committed every inch of you to my memory before I left."
He wasn't going to make this easy on me. He knew I was a puppet on a string and he controlled me. He knew what strings to pull and I'd go that way. He leaned forward, pressing a kiss on my forehead. I pulled away from him and turned my back. "Finish making the cribs. I'll get the blankets from Mrs. Hudson."
"She's already left them on the counter."
"Then I'll see if she has a nightdress I can borrow."
"You can use my shirt." I paused. "I sleep with my shirt off, speeds up the healing process."
I turned towards him as he undid his shirt and handed it to me. "Thank you. But you will keep your hands off me! I mean it!"
