Warden Amell and Sera

Sera: Huh.

Amell: What?

Sera: I figured you'd be taller.

Amell: Seems to be the usual reaction…

Sera: Is it true you really killed the Archdemon? With your bare hands?

Amell: Well, I didn't actually-

Sera: And then destroyed an ancient darkspawn organization?

Amell: It wasn't actually-

Sera: Then went on to slay a gigantic brood mother? And saved Amaranthine?

Amell: You are quite the talker, aren't you? *chuckles*

Sera: Hmmm.

Amell: Why are you staring at me…?

Sera: Just, can't figure you out.

Amell: What have you to figure out?

Sera: That trick you do, with your eyes…

Amell: *sigh* Here we go.

Sera: I am just wanting to how you can do that. Varric said he knew someone who did something like that, someone who happened to be an Abomination...

Amell: I'm gathering he was telling you about Anders. Before you ask, no, I am not posed by a spirit or a demon.

Sera: Oh. Well that's alright then. I have made my mind up about you.

Amell: And?

Sera: You're short.

Amell: You are quite skilful with that bow, Sera.

Sera: I know, yeah.

Amell: It always amazes me how anyone can use them. You seem to never miss a target.

Sera: It's a gift I guess. I can try and teach you sometime if you like? Probably not the best teacher, but will give it a go.

Amell: Oh no, Leliana tried to teach me once… didn't end well.

Sera: Oh, I bet I know how that ended. Bet you couldn't focus. Wrapping her arms around you, breathing in your ear…

Amell: I ended up breaking her bow…

Sera: *hysterical laughing*

Amell: She never let me touch it again.

Sera: You're wife is quite the looker.

Amell: Don't you mean she is quite the… Seeker…

Sera: Oh Maker! That is brilliant! I have to remember that one.

Amell: I have been known to be funny, from time to time.

(If Cassandra is present)

Cassandra: She isn't a Seeker, we have been over this.

Amell: Then tell her to stop wearing their armour.

Amell: Sera… are you… skipping?

(If Varric is present)

Varric: They prefer 'frolicking'.

Sera: I am, yeah.

Amell: Why are you skipping? This hardly seems the time.

Sera: Because I'm bored. This is boring. I thought we were supposed to be stopping Veil tears, killing dragons, hunting down demonic mages. Cool shit like that.

Amell: Every part of our quest is important. Even the menial tasks. I learnt that long ago.

Sera: Right, so... I'm going to keep skipping...

Amell: *chuckles* Fair enough.

Sera: You know, I bet Spymaster scary was quite the heart breaker, back in her day.

Amell: She still is. She hasn't changed a day.

Sera: *gags* Sometimes you are too gooey, you know that right?

Amell: She is beautiful, why would I not say so?

Sera: Uh, giving me tooth aches!

Amell: I just like to remind people how special she is to me.

Sera: Oooooh, are we scared for competition?

Amell: Ha-ha, not at all. Trust is probably the greatest part of our relationship. No, I remind people how special she is, because it helps me to cope in these dark times. It reminds me of the good old days. What we fight for.

Sera: Aaaaand, we're back to gooey.

Amell*whistles*

Sera: *joins in*

(If Vivienne is present)

Vivienne: Will you two cut it out?

Sera: *giggles*

Amell: Please stop watching me…

Sera: You are pretty adorable. The way you follow your wife around like a little puppy.

Amell: Again, please stop watching me.

Sera: Have you been married long?

Amell: Nearing five years. And we'd been together an additional five.

Sera: Ten years! Shit! That's a long time to put up with someone.

Amell: Well, we haven't always been with each other. Duty has occasionally forced us to go our separate ways.

Sera: And still, you kept being married? Did you get… you know… lonely?

Amell: All the time actually. I would miss her more and more with each day. We always remained in contact though, eventually a letter would reach the other.

Sera: What I mean is… were you faithful?

Amell: Of course I was. Leliana is my everything. I would never even look at another that way. Why search for pearls when you have a diamond?

Sera: Naaaaw! You guys are too cute.

Amell: Yes, well…

Sera: Bet the catch up sex is amazing.

Amell: The…. What?

Sera: You know… years apart. You were both faithful, so that's an awful lot of pent up urges. Bet you rut like rabbits!

Amell: We are not having this conversation.

Sera: *gasp* No wonder the Spymaster has been less grumpy since you showed up! You've been stringing her bow.

Amell: No, I-

Sera: Bet she polished your staff.

Amell: Please, stop-

Sera: Satisfying the demand of her Qun.

Amell: Sera, please-

Sera: Oh man, I can go on for hours with these!

Amell: *sigh* Why can't I meet a nice elf?

Sera: Are you blushing?

Amell: What? No. I'm just… flushed. From the weather.

Sera: Okay, I would believe that, if it wasn't a known fact you are all magic-ed up with fire and shit.

Amell: …

Sera: You are blushing! Actually blushing! The great Commander of the Grey, Hero of Ferelden, blushing!

Amell: I am not.

Sera: Is it because I said she Annulled your Tower? That you make the Sister sing?

(If Iron Bull is present)

Iron Bull: Don't forget Laying the Lay Sister.

Amell: Technically… she isn't a sister, anymore…

Sera: Ah ha! So you have been strumming her loot!

Amell: Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.

Sera: Wow! Wait till I tell everyone how the mighty mage warrior is a blusher!

Amell: Are all elves like this? Because I have only met elves that want to make me squirm. You're all a pain...

Sera: Nah, only the elfy elves.

Sera: Is it true you can turn into any animal?

Amell: Not any animal, but most.

Sera: That is so cool! Turn into a squid!

Amell: Why a squid?

Sera: Why not a squid?

Amell: Fair point… maybe later.

Sera: Awesome!

Amell: *chuckles*

(If Sera and the Inquisitor are in a relationship)

Amell: You two are quite sweet together, you know.

Sera: I didn't think you would approve sharing your wife with me.

Amell: You know perfectly well who I am talking about…

Sera: Oh… Yeah. Well. Maybe.

Amell: My, my. The chattery elf has been silenced. I think that's a sign it must be serious.

Sera: Oh sorry, I was just thinking about the amazing rut we had last night.

Amell: Err…

Sera: You won't believe the things she can do!

Amell: Um… perhaps we shouldn't discuss this…

Sera: Why? I'm not embarrassed.

Amell: Yes, well… pretty sure she can hear you.

Sera: So?

Amell: Never mind…

(alternatively)

Amell: You act all casual, but I know you care about her.

Sera: Yeah well... your ass!

Amell: Yes, my ass...

Sera: Good. Glad we understand one and other.

Amell: If its any consolation, I know she feels the same about you.

Sera: Yeah... well... just shut it. Talking about feelings all the time, your like creepy!

Amell: *chuckles*

...

Sera: Do you think we'll win?

Amell: Win?

Sera: Yeah, this war we are in. Do you think the Inquisitor will win?

Amell: Sadly, I don't think this battle is a win or lose situation.

Sera: I know… just…

Amell: I'm sure everything will work out in the end. In my experience, they always do. That's why you have me, I'm practically a lucky charm.

Sera: *chuckles* That's comforting.

Amell: We will win, Sera. Because we have to.

Sera: Hey Amell!

Amell: Hey, Sera?

Sera: How do you want to be drawn on the cover of Varric's novel?

Amell: On the… what?

Sera: Varric agreed to let me make the cover. I thought I'd be nice and give you a chance to speak up.

Amell: I have told Varric that story is not getting published. So there will be no need depict me.

Sera: Suit yourself! Long flowing black hair with a moustache it is!

...

Sera: Do.. Do you remember when you was in Denerim, back in the Blight? The Alienage?

Amell: Yes, I was there a few times. I remember the battle was especially brutal there.

Sera: Yeah... it was. But, you stopped it. Made shit better, slowly, but it got better.

Amell: Wait... you grew up in Denerim, didn't you?

Sera: Yeah, I did. What of it? Was just making conversation, was all...

Amell: Were you in the Alienage when the fighting happened?

Sera: Parts of it I was. Don't remember much. Don't want to. Left that shit hole not long after, wasn't much better but wasn't much worse.

Amell: I am sorry you had to see that. You would have only been a child then, wouldn't you?

Sera: Yeah. I met you, you know.

Amell: What? Why didn't you mention it sooner?

Sera: Didn't see the point. Wasn't a big thing or nothing, you gave me some food and money in a box. Kept the box.

Amell: I-I remember...

Sera: Yeah? Well that's good. Now, lets go kill something!