Before:
II - Claudia
Tokyo had been the most mind blowing experience of my entire life. I'd witnessed a whole new genre of art, one that wasn't confined to museums and galleries; there was the architecture of the old temples, the funky modern furniture in our hotel room, the way the girls in Harajuku dressed. And the fusion of old world tradition and ultra modern society just made my head spin. I'd spend the days exploring the city with my family, then come back to the hotel and draw. Most nights, I'd draw long into the morning, sleep for a few hours, then wake up to do it all over again. It was my food, my air, my life.
After Tokyo, I knew that this was what I wanted to do. What I was born to do. And there was no sacrifice I wouldn't make to fulfill my destiny.
x
After everything I'd heard about the extended workload and freshman hazing, high school turned out to be pretty tame. It was almost disappointing - all that worry for nothing.
The BSC held on for another week before collapsing. Everyone had turned up for the first meeting back. Mary Anne, however, had taken one look at Kristy and walked out. She never showed again. The rest of us were there on Wednesday, but the lack of enthusiasm, not to mention the lack of calls, had been uncomfortably obvious. And then, there was Friday's meeting.
I had art last period Friday afternoon. I'd sought out the serious artists during Wednesday's class and when I walked in that afternoon they were sitting together at the front. I sat between Ashley Wyeth and Mia Pappas and pulled out my sketch book. I was hurriedly rifling through the pages when; "Whoa, go back one," a deep voice beside me ordered.
The owner of the voice was a tall, quietly intense guy with longish blond hair that hung in his face. When he flicked his head back, I discovered that he had beautiful blue-ish green eyes. I obeyed, flipping back the pages while I struggled to recall his name. Thad? Something like that? Finally, we found the sketch that had caught his eye - a detailed rendering of the Nihonbashi bridge, which Janine and I had discovered while looking for the Tokyo Stock Exchange (her idea, obviously.) "That's incredible," Tim? Tom? breathed, incredulous.
"Which one Ty?" Ashley drawled nasally. (Ty!) "The bridge or the drawing?"
Bitch, I thought nastily. Can't stand anyone else getting praise, even for a second.
"Well, both," Ty clarified with a smile. "But, yeah, the drawing."
"It is good," Ashley agreed, and I took back my nasty thoughts. "You've obviously been dedicating a lot more time to your work."
I could feel myself beaming.
After class, we went to the Argo. Ashley and Ty nursed espressos while I sipped my ice chocolate sheepishly. I would have to learn to like espresso, I decided. We talked art for hours, and it wasn't until the was was starting to set that I realised how late it was getting. "I gotta go," I cried, jumping to my feet. "I've got-" I stopped. Admitting that I was leaving for a BSC meeting made me feel less dedicated somehow. Although, judging by the smirk on Ashley's face, I suspected she knew.
The meeting was over by the time I got home, but Kristy, Abby and Stacey were still there. They looked serious and I had the strangest feeling of deja vu; here I was again, missing meetings to hang out with Ashley Wyeth.
But my friends weren't angry this time. They had other things on their mind. "We've been talking about the future of the club," Kristy informed me, "but we wanted to wait until you got here before we made any decisions."
"Oh." I plopped down on my bed. This was going to get full on.
"So Mary Anne's obviously quit, and you and Stacey always seem to have other things to do," Kristy began. There was no bitterness or spite in her voice; it was flatly matter of fact. "And we've only had, like, two calls this afternoon. Stacey thinks that maybe everyone found new sitters over the summer."
"Who called?" I asked.
"The Newtons and the Perkins," Stacey answered.
"Ooh, who got the jobs?"
"Well me, cause Kristy and Abby live too far away, but if you want I'll split them with you-"
"Can we please get back to business?" Kristy asked.
Stacey and I shared a smile. "Sorry."
Kristy took a deep breath, but when she spoke, her voice shook slightly. "I move to disband the Baby-Sitters Club."
"I second," Stacey said, after a token pause.
"Thirded," I put in.
Abby smiled weakly. "Motion carried."
"Should I leave a message on my machine, like last time?" I asked.
Everyone looked to Kristy. She nodded dully.
And like that, it was over, a two year period of my life finished in seconds. Sure I was relieved, but I couldn't pretend like I wasn't a little upset either.
x
(hellokitty has entered the room)
iheartart: Hi Mary Anne!
hellokitty: hey Claud
iheartart: how are u? we havnt seen u arond much
iheartart: Mary Anne? u stil there?
hellokitty: yeah. I've just been busy.
iheartart: Stace and I r worred abowt u
hellokitty: you'd be the only ones
(SophistiStace has entered the room)
SophistiStace: whats happening?
SophistiStace: oh, hey Mary Anne
hellokitty: hi
SophistiStace: how have u been?
hellokitty: all right. Logan and I went out tonight for our one year anniversary.
iheartart: kewl
(Kristy has entered the room)
Kristy: yo
(hellokitty has left the room)
x
The next Friday afternoon, I hung out at Stacey's place. Dorianne Wallingford was there as well. She and Stacey had spent the summer together in New York, where Dori had been unofficially interning at her uncles firm. I guess they'd become pretty tight. I tried not to show my jealousy.
"So, Austin's having a party tonight," Dori told us as she painted her toenails a bright pink. "We should totally go."
"I'm there," Stacey responded immediately.
They looked at me expectantly. I shrugged. I had a mountain of homework - mom and dad were really on my case about keeping up with my school work - and a watercolour just begging to be finished.
"Please Claud?" Stacey wheedled. "I don't want to go to my first high school party without you."
I grinned, mollified. "Oh, all right," I sighed, trying to sound reluctant.
"Yes!" Dori cried. "We're going to have the best time. Remember that Rudy Matthews party?" she said to Stacey. "The one with all the kegs?"
Stacey wrinkled her nose. "I remember being completely soaked in beer because some rookie didn't know how to work the pump," she groaned.
"And when we got home your dad was all, 'Have you girls been drinking?' ," Dori giggled. "And you were like, 'Dad. I'm diabetic. You'd know if I'd been drinking cause-'"
"'I'd be in the hospital!'" Stacey finished, shrieking with laughter.
I smiled politely and waited for their laughter to subside. They were forever talking about their New York summer and even when they explained the joke, I still felt left out. It was always one of those 'you had to be there' situations.
"Look guys, I'd better go," I said, rising. "I'm going to try and get some homework done before we go."
"Okay," Dori chirped. She was bent over her toenails and didn't even look up.
Stacey walked me to the door. We ended up chatting out on the porch for awhile, trading random snippets of gossip; my story about Jacqui Grant and Lew Greenburg getting busted making out in her room, for her story about Robert Brewster getting trashed at Pete Black's birthday party and puking all over the couch.
"Could you imagine if I was still with him?" she said, grimacing. "You know how I am with puke. Ew!"
We shared a laugh. The fading sunlight caught Stacey's hair, turning it golden for a second. It was a good moment.
x
Austin's party was a total blow-out. The place was wall-to-wall packed, and the alcohol flowed freely. Dori accepted a Smirnoff while Stacey pushed on, repeating, "I'm a diabetic," over and over in a bored tone. It was a routine they had downpat. They'd obviously done this a lot in New York. Unlike me. This was my first real party - those dry, chaperoned affairs in middle school weren't even in the same league - and I was trying desperately to imitate Stacey's blase nonchalance.
When we reached the lounge room, Stacey and Dori made a beeline for a trio of practically identical blond girls. "This is Bridget, Mandy and Hope," Stacey introduced. "We all tried out for the cheerleading squad together."
"The list for the second round try-outs goes up on Monday," one of them (I'm fairly sure it was Hope) squealed. "I'm so nervous I could barf!"
"Charming," Stacey laughed.
Since Dori looked so comfortable nursing her drink, and because Stacey and the triplets were talking about people I didn't know, I accepted the Corona Austin offered me. I swigged. It wasn't too bad. I took another swig.
"Pace yourself Claud," Stacey warned.
I rolled my eyes. "Yes mom."
The more I drank, the more interesting the girls cheerleading conversation became. I even started to contribute, making witty observations about the squad. Stacey laughed at me. "You're trashed," she accused.
And then I saw him across the room, smoking a cigarette and drinking something from a flask. Ty. "I'll be right back," I told Stacey, and squeezed my way across the room. Ty smiled slowly, lazily, when he saw me.
"I wouldn't have thought this was your sort of scene," I greeted.
He smiled. "It's not. My sister dragged me along." He pointed at the couch, where Stacey and the triplets sat. Stacey looked up and gave Ty an approving once over that made my skin prickle with irritation. "No, he's mine!" I wanted to scream at her, sure that as soon as Ty noticed her, I would cease to exist to him. I watched anxiously. He just nodded and turned back to me.
"So, which one's your sister?" I asked, trying to hide my relieved smile.
"Bridget."
"And which one is she?"
He laughed. "The one in the white dress. The short haired one is Mandy. And the other one is Hope. They've been friends since they were in diapers. I call them the triplets."
"Me too!" I cried. "Wow, we are, like, cosmically connected!"
He smiled and grabbed my hand. "C'mon."
"Where are we going?" I asked.
"To become even more cosmically connected."
He led me to the bathroom, where he pulled a ziplock bag from his pocket. I watched him chop the contents and expertly roll them into a cigarette. I may have been naive, but I wasn't completely stupid. "This shit will blow your mind," he promised.
He lit the joint, inhaled deeply and handed it to me. I'd never even smoked a cigarette before. Nervously, I took a small drag and tried to hold it back, like he had. It tickled my throat and made me cough until my chest hurt. That small amount, combined with the smoke in the bathroom, was enough to get me high. Ty was right. It did blow my mind. All I wanted to do was go home and paint.
Then he put his hand on my cheek and drew me closer. And I stopped thinking about painting.
x
Ashley pounced on me the second I walked into art class on Wednesday. "What's this I hear about you attending a keg blast at some meatheads place?" she asked.
"It was just a party," I said mildly.
Beside her, Ty was smirking. Giving me a grin that said, 'We share a secret.' So why haven't you called me? If it really happened and wasn't just some doped out hallucination, why are you acting like I don't exist?
"So I suppose mediocrity is enough for you," Ashley continued spitefully. "Because that whole scene is the height of mediocrity."
I didn't know what mediocrity meant, but I could tell it wasn't a good thing. I looked to Mia for support. She had, after all, been Sheila McGregors best friend last year. But she just rolled her eyes. "Mainstream society," she scoffed. "Pah!"
"Look, I didn't really want to go," I told them. "But I promised Stacey."
"One of these days Claud," Ashley said seriously, looking into my eyes, "you're going to have to choose between your art and your friends. And I'm scared that you're going to make the wrong choice. Because you have so much talent. You can't let it go to waste."
I knew that Ashley was right. One day, I would have to choose. But today wasn't that day.
