Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans.

Think what a better world it would be if we all, the whole world, had cookies and milk about three o'clock every afternoon and then lay down on our blankets for a nap.
-Barbara Jordan


Pop!

Transcript: Interview #450
Date: 20120722
Time: 1037
Interrogating Officer: Robin
Interrogating Officer: Raven Roth
Supervising Officer: Victor Stone
Suspect I.D. Number: 7194371
Suspect Name: Garfield Logan, alias "Beast Boy"

Page 1 of 2

Logan: Oh man, it's a great day to be alive, eh Robin? Dear God, my head hurts.

Robin: I know what you mean- Star's 'tough love' tends to leave a reminder in the morning.

Logan: (mumbling)

Robin: Hangovers? Beast Boy, you're not old enough to be drinking!

Logan: It was an accident, I swear! I thought 'Everclear' was a new brand of bottled water!

Roth: Only you could… hold on. This wouldn't have been around the time of 'the Pudding Incident,' would it?

Logan: A setup! I was framed! You've got no evidence! I- hey, when did you get here Raven?

Roth: Shortly after you… passed out. Speaking of which-

Logan: I know.

Robin: Beast Boy, what caused your episode last night? You were screaming 'it's not real' before we had to subdue you. Could you-

Logan: Explain? Yeah. Sure. Hey Cy, haul yourself in here for a second, will ya?

Robin: Okay…

Stone: What's up, little man? Need something?

Logan: Hey, can I borrow your Gamestation Portable real quick?

Stone: Dude, it's in my arm!

Logan: Oh, that's alright. Can I borrow your arm, then?

Stone: (slaps forehead) Yeah, sure.

Logan: Thanks. Here, let's load this game-

Robin: Beast Boy, would you mind explaining what 'Pokémon' has to do with… oh.

Logan: You see it, now?

Page 2 of 2

Roth: What on earth is that?

Logan: That's called a 'Haunter,' and it's what it turned into in order to escape.

Robin: So you… it… can turn into video game characters That doesn't explain your breakdown, though.

Logan: Yes, it does.

Roth: No, it doesn't.

Logan: Yes, it totally does! Dudes, it can turn into anything I've imagined! Do you have any idea how many video game animals and monsters it could become? This 'Haunter' wasn't even close to being the most dangerous! There are one hundred and forty-nine other monsters in this game alone!

Roth: So we have to keep a closer watch on you then. I still don't see what the big deal is.

Logan: It's more than that, Raven. I've read some of your books, too. Greek myths, Norse myths- it's all fair game. Fancy your chances against Typhon? Or Fenrir? Jörmungandr? A gorgon? A chimera? The Nemean Lio-

Roth: Enough! I get the idea! (crashing noises)

Robin: Raven, calm down!

Logan: I didn't like that cot anyways.

Roth: I need to go meditate some more. I'll take Cyborg's arm back as well.

Robin: So, Beast Boy… any ideas, then?

Logan: Some, but none of them really worth contemplating. You always were more of the 'idea guy' than I was.

Robin: In that case, I'll be doing some research. We'll figure out a way to beat this, Beast Boy. Don't worry.

End Transcript: Interview #450


Beast Boy watched Robin close the door behind him before turning around and facing his destroyed cot. Its destruction really bothered him much more than he let on. It wasn't that he liked it- he had been completely honest on that point. It probably ranked up there with his now discarded restraints as one of the things he hated most about this place.

No, the pile of rubble bothered him because Raven had been distressed enough to reduce it to a toothpick collection. A distressed Raven was never a good omen.

Beast Boy groaned, feeling a headache coming on.


True to his word, Robin was researching ways to overcome Beast Boy's affliction. Raven was down the hall achieving inner peace as frantically as one possibly can, while Cyborg was busy reattaching his arm, which had begun malfunctioning simply by being handled by his best friend.

That left Starfire alone to watch over their green friend. It was unfortunate, really. Any of the other Titans would have immediately recognized that the animals Beast Boy was turning into were not of this earth. The Tamaranean, however, simply assumed that the changeling was keeping himself amused as he had done countless times at the Tower.

That is, until one of the animals spoke.

"Friend Cyborg! I require your assistance, please!"

Looking up from his work, the android raised an eyebrow. "Yes, Star?"

"Earth animals cannot talk, is that not correct?"

"Well, aside from parrots, that's right. Why do you ask?"

The alien threw a worried glance over her shoulder, into the room containing her friend. "Because friend Beast Boy has been changing into numerous creatures that I am no longer certain are native to this planet, and one of them just said 'abra' out loud."

Cyborg blinked, and looked down at the video game still playing in his arm. His fingers moved almost unconsciously as they scrolled through the menus, until he found just what he was looking for.

#063 Abra
Type
: Psychic
Species
: Psi
Height
: 2' 11"
Weight
: 43 lbs
Using its ability to read minds, it will identify impending danger and teleport to safety. Abra lack attack abilities, but
their power to teleport their way out of trouble makes them difficult to capture.

The realization hit him like a ton of bricks, and he was charging through the door before he knew it.

He was too late. The room was already empty.


Five seconds. That's exactly how long it took for Starfire and Cyborg to get the entire team assembled to look for Beast Boy- each one of them ready and willing to tear the city apart to find him.

As it turned out, that would be completely unnecessary- the changeling was about to make himself very easy to locate.


The guard operating the prison gates wore a nametag over his left breast pocket that simply read "Santos." If any two words could be used to describe James Theodore Santos, "brave" and "big" would top the list. The former Navy SEAL towered over most people at a healthy seventy-eight inches tall, and anyone who had fought by his side knew that the gargantuan man hadn't flinched in his entire life.

That was probably why he was the only man still at the gate, his fellow guards having taken cover as soon as the creature appeared. Standing twenty meters tall and looking like a cross between a green cockroach and a centaur, the beast charged towards the prison entryway, swinging two enormous scythe-like limbs menacingly.

Santos calmly stood his ground, idly fingering the grenade launcher attached to his rifle. His practiced eyes judged the distance between the strange creature as his mind decided upon which round to use. Making his choice, he snatched what appeared to be an enormous white plastic bullet from his pocket and inserted it into the tube hanging below the barrel of his rifle. Taking aim carefully, he flipped off the safety and pulled the trigger.


The team had split up in order to cover more ground, and as a result Raven was the first to come upon her wayward friend.

The half demon failed suppress an astonished gasp as she approached the front gate- Beast Boy, in the shape of some enormous thing she couldn't recognize, was charging towards the prison entryway. If that weren't bad enough, some idiot was standing directly in his path, as though he alone could deter the rampaging juggernaut headed his way. Growling in annoyance, Raven flew as quickly as she could to move the man out of Beast Boy's path.

Then she saw him raise his weapon to take aim, and she somehow found herself moving faster still.

An involuntary shout sprang from her mouth as she saw the man rock back from his weapon's recoil, but it was soon drowned out by the beast's roar.


Santos was quite pleased with himself- the flare he'd shot had lodged itself inside a crack in the creature's carapace, and the blinding light a few feet from its face had very effectively halted the monster's charge. The kid would live another day- something the former SEAL had hoped for. The other round at his disposal- olive drab with yellow markings- would have very likely killed it. For all that Beast Boy had done for the city, he deserved a chance to see another sunrise, at the very least.

Santos looked to his left to see Raven rapidly approaching his position. Giving a sigh of relief that he would never admit to, the guard pulled back from the screaming shapeshifter. The Titans could take it from here.


Raven didn't even register the man leaving the area. She didn't even register her team's arrival. All she could do was watch and listen as Beast Boy flailed about, roaring in surprise and pain. No longer the insect-like behemoth, the changeling was cycling through various forms in a desperate attempt to dislodge the flare from his forehead. Shifting into a large reptilian shape, he finally managed to shake the offending device from his scaly skin. His eyesight was too damaged to notice the lines of armed men swarming the tops of the walls.

However, when one overly excitable guard opened fire on the jade dragon sitting in the courtyard, all hell broke loose.


Four friends watched in horror as the lasers struck their Beast Boy's scaly hide, causing him to once more roar in agony and rage.

Four Titans stood by helplessly as the emerald wyrm took to the skies, enormous leathery wings flapping casually as it hovered over the prison.

Three hundred armed men broke into a nervous sweat as the shots from their rifles glanced off the heavily armored underbelly of the creature that just shouldn't exist.

One green dragon reared its head back and opened its gaping maw, breathing in deeply as it prepared to defend itself.

One half demon sprang into action in a desperate attempt to save the men on the walls- but more importantly, save her friend in the skies above her.