Notes: I'm not sure if I've established this before but this is after Avengers and before Iron Man 3. Due to the… mixed feelings I have about IM3, I'm going to pretend it never happened, but I will be borrowing some things from it.
Usually I post a chapter here after I've written the next one already, but I'm not sure when that will be. I'm in no way abandoning this story, I'm just trying to get all my thoughts to settle and let me figure out what direction to put them in.
Besides, I usually update the version on Archive Of Our Own faster than here, but I don't get as much feedback from there, and I'd really like to hear your thoughts on this story so far! So any reviews would be much appreciated!
(Also, I'm sorry if this appears in your inbox twice. I accidentally uploaded the chapter before I'd finished editing...oopse!)
Pepper was shaking. Tony didn't know why, but when she came into his lab he was immediately alerted to the wrongness of the situation. Pepper never got shaken up. Pepper was—well, Pepper. She rarely let her emotions get over her like this. And it was unnerving. She melted into his arms like butter on toast, and he held her to him, stroking her soft hair and making calming noises in his throat.
But when she made a little hiccupping noise against his chest that Tony knew meant she was crying, well, that was when he snapped. "J.A.R.V.I.S., put the lab in total lockdown. I want all the windows tinted, I don't want anyone else coming in—or seeing in. Cut off communication to the lab, too."
"Right away, sir." J.A.R.V.I.S. was always so chipper. Tony made a mental note to fix that. But for now he concentrated on the wonderful but distressed woman in his arms.
"Hey…hey, Pepper, no tears…" He pulled her back a little, but she quickly snapped back to his chest. Sighing, he let her stay there, stroking her hair as he guided her over to the small lounge. He sat them both down on one of the couches, and she almost crawled into his lap. He rubbed small, tight circles on her back, humming comfortingly.
It took a little while, but she finally calmed down. She pulled back, grabbing a handkerchief from her pocket and dabbing at her face before frowning at his shirt. He gave a little shrug, showing he didn't care while she just shook her head. He figured she was glad he was in the lab and not in a suit—business or other.
"Now, how about you tell me what's going on?" Tony asked quietly, reaching over and brushing a stray tear off of her cheek.
Pepper hiccupped once again before nodding. She pulled a folded piece of paper out of one of her pockets. "This…was in the newspaper today."
Tony had been in his lab all night; he hadn't had time to look at the day's news. Carefully, he took the paper, opening it and reading the words.
He had to read them twice before they finally sunk in.
Justin Hammer released from prison.
The man accused of the terrorist attacks at the 2008 Stark Expo has been released from prison.
His bail of $750,000 was paid in full, and the man has pledged to change his ways.
A heavy police presence was reported to have escorted him home…
Tony stopped reading and looked up at Pepper. She had her eyes down and she was picking at a loose thread from the seam of the couch cushion. "Oh Pep…"
She lifted her eyes, locking them onto his, and he could see the fear there. His heart broke, and he reached forward, pulling her into his arms.
He might not have been present, but Pepper had told him all about it, all about Justin's pledge to return. He had it out for her and Natasha, and though he knew Natasha wouldn't let him anywhere near them, he wasn't so sure about what would happen if Pepper were alone. He vowed to himself that nothing would happen to Pepper. He couldn't let it.
Tony settled Pepper, giving her strict orders to stay in the tower. She finally composed herself and went to the kitchenette, using the water to wash the tears from her face. Tony watched her before setting his jaw and unlocking the lab. "I'm going to go talk to the team—specifically Natasha," Tony informed her as he went to the door. "Stay down here until you're ready to come up."
She nodded, though she didn't look at him and Tony took the stairs two at a time.
His feet had barely connected with the landing when Natasha had grabbed his arm, pulling him away from the stair case. "Did you see?" She demanded.
"I did, and frankly I'm surprised with you, Romanov." That gave her pause and she raised her eyebrow a little. Tony gave her a half smirk and a little shrug. "I would have thought you would have squashed that bug dead in his cell a long time ago."
She snorted and let him go with a small shove. "I was busy. I was shipped to Russia almost as soon as I was done with you, and then from there I was called back here for—you know."
Tony nodded, bringing his hand up and tapping a staccato on his arc reactor casing as a way to calm his nerves. He did know, and that was the problem. The Battle of New York had distracted them all.
"Look, Pepper's in no danger." Natasha said with a wave of her hand. "For one, she's one of the most well protected women alive, and for another, she's got two super spies, a green rage monster, a god, and a man in a titanium suit looking out for her. That's not to mention every day body guards and security."
That still didn't put Tony at ease. He didn't want Pepper in any danger at all, and the fact that he might not be able to protect her was going to drive him insane. He shook his head, she was living in a home full of super heroes. She would be fine.
"So what're we going to do?" He asked quietly, and Natasha let out a small sigh.
"Well, I'm going to track him down." She replied, cracking her knuckles. "I'm not going to let him escape me again. I don't have an identity to protect this time."
Tony nodded. "But that's not enough. Who paid Hammer's bail? Who wanted him out?"
"S.H.I.E.L.D. will find out, I promise." Natasha said, but that only left a sour taste in Tony's mouth. He didn't trust S.H.I.E.L.D.
"Alright…" He relented, if only to get Natasha off his back. He could tell she knew he wasn't too happy, but he wasn't going to say anything. "I'm going to do my own investigation. I want to have some words with my old friend."
Natasha nodded, stepping back and leaving Tony alone. She would do what she wanted, and perhaps she'd find Hammer first, but Tony was determined to get his own say in it. No one threatened his Pepper.
Six weeks. He'd run away six weeks ago. No—he hadn't run away… this… was for the best. This was protecting his country. Or at least, that's how he rationalized it.
Here he could get a grasp on his mind. Here he could fight the nightmares without fighting other battles. Here he was free to do what he wanted. Even if S.H.I.E.L.D. still knew where he was (unlikely, considering they hadn't come for him yet) he was still able to take a few deep breaths. It was a change he needed.
Not being there, where everything was different, where everything was overwhelming, was best. Being here, in the open air and the change, was for the best. No one would really miss him, after all. They didn't need him.
Once he was ready, he would return to America.
Steve let the newspaper he was reading lower down slightly. He looked across the busy street, glancing at the door to a small house. The house was built on the edge of a small market, and he thought it was fitting. He wanted to go over and knock on the door, see who lived inside, even though he knew.
Peggy lived in there.
It had been seventy years since he'd seen her. He felt his heart throbbing in his throat, emotions rolling in his mind. He'd made it all the way here, to England to see her. But he'd wasted his time humming and hawing over a gift, and then over his own nightmares and illusions. Peggy wouldn't want to see him now.
Once The Battle of New York had ended, and cleanup had been well underway, he'd received a letter from her.
He hadn't opened it.
Call him a coward—he couldn't deal with it. It was too much for him to handle. So he'd tossed it in the trash, and forgotten about it. Until now. He regretted not opening it, but it wasn't like he had any ties to her anymore. He'd hoped she would have died old age, at least then he wouldn't be disappointing her time and again.
"You've been staring at that house for a long time now."
Steve started, turning around and looking at the woman who had suddenly appeared beside him. "I'm sorry?"
"Well, you have." She said. She turned her own gaze onto the house, looking it over. A small smile graced her face. "That's my aunt's house. My name's Sharon."
Steve smiled and shook the hand Sharon offered. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Sharon. I'm Steve."
Sharon gave him a smile. "It's nice to meet you, Steve. Is there a reason why you're staring at the house?"
Steve contemplated lying to her, but looking into her eyes he had a feeling she had an internal lie detector. "I… was told an old family friend lived here. I wanted to go say hi, but I'm scared she won't remember me."
Sharon nodded, picking up the grocery bags she'd set down when shaking Steve's hand before turning and walking across the street. She motioned for Steve to follow. "Oh, she will. Trust me, she remembers everyone. She's such a social butterfly."
That's something else I'm afraid of. Steve thought to himself as he followed Sharon across the street.
"Aunt Peggy? I brought your groceries!" Sharon called into the house as she opened the door. "And an old friend!"
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE'S GONE!?"
Bruce took a step back, his hands raised to calm Tony down. "Tony—Relax …"
"RELAX!?" Tony screamed, grabbing a chair and tossing it across the room. Maria raised an eyebrow calmly watching the situation. "PEPPER'S BEEN KIDNAPPED AND YOU WANT ME TO RELAX?!"
"Stark, sit down."
"No. Ooohh no, you don't get to tell me what to do Agent Hill. You're not fucking Fury, you're not Steve Fucking Rogers, I don't have to listen to you." From the corner of his eye he saw Clint reach for something in his pocket, but Tony was much too furious to stop and figure out what it was. Or care, for that matter.
They'd been given the cue to assemble and they'd arrived in ample time. Pepper was in Los Angeles for a business meeting, and Tony had stayed behind in New York. He wished he hadn't. Now not only was baldy gone, he was being replaced by Hill, who was telling him that his Pepper—the one they specifically said they were watching and protecting, is gone.
"It was an inside job—" Maria started, blinking when Natasha slapped a hand to her face, and Clint cringed.
"AN INSIDE JOB!?" Tony's rage exploded over again and he stalked up to her. "What the fuck are you S.H.I.E.L.D. agents doing!? How do you let someone through your security and take my Pepper!?"
Clint, Bruce and Natasha exchanged a look before Bruce gave a small nod. Clint returned it before calmly walking over to Tony. The man, who was still screaming at Agent Hill, didn't notice until Clint had shoved a dart into the side of his neck.
"What the Hell—" The billionaire pulled the dart out and turned around to glare at them. "The Hell did you just…"
Clint gave him a little grin and Tony collapsed. Clint caught him before he could hit the ground and Maria took a breath. "He's going to be so angry when he wakes up," Clint mused before grinning up at Maria. "But at least he'll be at home."
"I don't think that's a good idea," Natasha piped up, coming over . "At home he's got access to his suits. We'd probably be in danger."
"We'll keep him here." Agent Hill said, folding her arms in front of her chest. "He's unstable. The agents who betrayed us are already in our custody undergoing questioning. I'm sure we can get some useful information from them before Tony wakes up."
Clint nodded and Maria paged some agents to come in and take Tony to the medical bay. "I'm sure we can get him under control…"
They couldn't.
Three hours after Tony went under, he was up again and, though the team couldn't figure out how he did it, he was in a suit and flying back home. "J.A.R.V.I.S. I want all security camera footage from a fifty foot radius around Pepper's last known location."
"Right away, sir." His faithful AI responded in his smooth accent. Tony bit his lip in worry as he flew home. How could someone get Pepper?
He felt betrayed. He felt hurt and betrayed by S.H.I.E.L.D. and knew he shouldn't have trusted them in the first place. Pepper had won him over by befriending Phil. That had been his first mistake, letting Pepper get that close to any government agent.
Once he was home, he didn't even bother taking off his suit. He flipped up the face plate and watched J.A.R.V.I.S. playing back the video footage. His heart jumped when he saw Pepper, innocently walking towards Stark Industries, cellphone glued to her ear in what was no doubt a business call. He didn't know where Happy was, why he hadn't been there when this went down, but he saw the two ex-agents. He watched them grab her. He clenched his fists as the repulsors charged with a whine, wanting to be fired. He watched Pepper gasp and drop the phone as the goons bring her into an alley. Watched the goons grab her phone, gag her and shove a rag that was no doubt saturated in chloroform against her face. He watched her slump in their arms and he watched them tie her up and shove her in a van.
"J.A.R.V.I.S. track that van. Get its location."
"Sir, the van belongs to, and was returned to, S.H.I.E.L.D. there is no way to track its previous locations."
With a scream of despair and rage, Tony finally let the suit fire blasts. He took out every inch of glass in his work room, along with some of the walls. This was the first time he had no real leads to follow. The first time he'd been so hopelessly lost. He couldn't function without Pepper. He needed her.
The Avengers found him later that night, laying in a pile of shattered glass and empty alcohol bottles. His suit had been taken off, Dum-E was desperately trying to sweep around him, and he looked like a mess.
They brought him up to bed.
"We can't turn him into Hill right now," That was Bruce's voice, he was sure. But it seemed clouded and distorted. As if heard from underwater. "He's not stable enough, and besides, he'll just break out again."
He heard a woman sigh and his heart lifted, if Bruce was talking to a woman it had to be Pepper. Maybe this was all a nightmare. He swam up through the haze, towards that one bright hope. "I know we can't." The light blinked out suddenly and he felt himself falling again. "He's not ready for that. But we do need to inform S.H.I.E.L.D." Natasha's a cold hearted bitch, he thought to himself as he blacked out again.
Sometime later, he was awoken to someone shaking his shoulder. He groaned, hoping that if he sounded pitiful enough, they'd leave him alone. Instead, the shaking only increased. "Tony, wake up!"
When he finally did open his eyes, and the world came back into focus, he squinted at Bruce for a second. "What do you want?"
The doctor looked visibly relieved, and Tony didn't want to know why. With Thor in Asgard and Steve missing, they were down to just four members, two of which were S.H.I.E.L.D. agents. Bruce was probably nervous being around them alone, despite being an official Avenger. Being Tony's friend helped to shield him from them.
"You got a package delivered from an unknown sender. You need to open it; it could be a clue to Steve or Pepper's whereabouts."
Tony got up, but only because it meant he might be a step closer to finding Pepper. Frankly, he couldn't give a damn where Steve went and why. He wanted to help the guy, but if Captain America couldn't handle his PTSD and needed to run off fine.
There were other, more pressing matters on his hands besides the disappearance of one of his best friends.
Walking into the living room, Tony ignored the fact that he was only in his boxers and the brief fluttering of I wonder who undressed me, and sat in a chair. Clint and Natasha watched him carefully before turning back to the small box. It was only a few inches long and not very thick.
Briefly, Tony wondered why someone would be sending him a package, and why they would assume it had to do with Pepper.
Shrugging it off, he tore off the brown paper surrounding it, revealing a white box. The top of the box had words scrawled on it:
Greetings, Stark. I'm going to ruin your life, just like you ruined mine. –H.
Glancing up at his friends, who leaned in eagerly to see, he took the top off.
Clint swore under his breath, Natasha's face tightened into an angry frown, and Bruce turned away with a hand over his mouth. Tony just stared in shock. How could anyone do this?
Inside the small box was a human finger. On that finger was the ring Tony had meticulously picked out for Pepper. His world went red with rage.
