Hello to all my readers! (Yes. All two of you.)
I know you're dying to read this, but first I must thank my beta-reader, Robert Falcon, again. He's been helping me in my never ending fight against grammatical errors and clumsy writing. Thanks and kiitos.
Remember to review...
And...action!
'What about her? The quarian?'
The quarian…It is strange how only a few words could affect one like this; to make someone feel so bad, so unwelcome. All the stares, remarks and jostles she had had to endure had flashed through her mind as she had heard the words. It felt like being back in Council Space again, where everyone seemed to despise her species. She had thought that the humans would be different, and they were, but maybe some of them were not…
There was reason for joy too, although the remark had done much to dilute her delight… She was now part of something very big, definitely bigger than her: Shepard's quest against Saren. Although the fact that she was now part of this brought her a great deal of joy, Chief Williams's remark had pretty much soured it. The quarian...Tali did not know if Williams had meant her remark as she took it, but by the tone of her voice it seemed to be so. It was the same tone she had heard countless times before; disdaining, loathing and downplaying.
Although all of them made her feel terrible, it was the downplaying that hurt the most. Probably because it was true; she was quite helpless. She had barely gotten away from Saren's thugs, almost losing her life both times. And her lack of tolerance for stress didn't help much either…Her fainting must have made her seem like a weakling. Perhaps that was what she was? A weakling? But if she was, why would Shepard take her with him? Out of pity?
There was another thing about the remark had hurt too, maybe even as much as the downplaying. The meeting with the ambassador had been driving towards one major event; her acceptance into Shepard's team. Of course, the main reason was to allow the ambassador to see the evidence, but at least part of the meeting was about her. Shepard had been looking for allies. But the remark…It was as if the meaning of it was to ridicule such a thing; 'How could someone take a quarian with him?' While she didn't agree with the quarian part of it, she agreed with the rest; why would Shepard take her with him? "Out of pity?" she asked herself once more…
Tali snorted. Maybe he thought that she could hurt herself while walking to the witness protection program?
The cheer her little joke brought vanished as quickly as it came. She realized it was not actually a joke. It was the truth. She had fainted twice after the ambush, and was lucky to not have hurt herself. Maybe that's why Shepard brought her with him? To not hurt her feelings, because she could, oh Keelah, faint again.
Another joke. She seemed to be quite funny inside her head, at least for the moment. She chuckled quietly.
But chuckling had not been the reaction she had had after the remark. It had been anger. She was not just "a quarian", but a proud quarian. And she had a name, which she was sure Chief Williams knew. Why couldn't she just use it? Why did she have to make her feel so unwanted?
Williams had been a little taken back by her outburst, and Tali had decided to keep up the momentum; she had told Shepard how she knew the Geth, and how she had already fought Saren's men and prevailed. She would have kept going, but Shepard had interrupted her:
"You don't have to try and impress me. I'm not that stupid to turn away help when offered," he had said, grinning.
The memory of the words made her chuckle quietly again. He was such a strange man for a soldier.
But the remark…It kept haunting her, making her feel so unwelcome. It was the most uncomfortable feeling.
And that she would probably have to talk to the Council didn't help much either. Maybe they expected her to give a some kind of speech? Talk about her findings, about Saren and the Geth? To answer difficult questions? Giving a public speech was definitely not one of her favorite things to do, although she was not sure if it was to be public. Maybe the meeting was one of those secret ones? With no audience? The thought made her feel a bit better, but still the idea of giving a speech, public or not, was not very pleasant. Tali liked to understand things, not influence them. She preferred to be small and unnoticeable, rather than the center of attention. She liked to remain in the background, fixing things, making sure things work; doing the, so called, thankless work. Definitely not giving speeches, or answering complicated questions…
"The Council's not gonna ask me any questions, are they?" Ashley Williams queried, voicing Tali's thoughts.
"You really don't like questions?" Shepard asked, raising an eyebrow at Williams. "You asked the same thing the last time we were here."
"Don't have a problem with questions, sir," Williams replied "Just answering them."
"Well, did they ask you any questions the last time?"
"No they didn't, sir."
"Then why would they now?" Shepard remarked sarcastically.
Williams shrugged. She didn't answer.
Indifference was not something Tali felt; she was very relieved. If the Council hadn't asked any questions before, they probably wouldn't now, either.
The elevator arrived. They were at the top of the Citadel Tower.
…
Tali had been so wrapped up in her own problems that she hadn't had time to think about their destination; the Citadel Tower, heart of the Council's galactic power. This was the place the Council 'ruled' the galaxy from. She had always thought the Tower to be some kind of a magical place, so the reality was a bit disappointing. Sure, the Tower was extremely amazing and beautiful, but it just didn't live up to her expectations. Maybe she had just been expecting too much? She didn't actually even know what she had expected; only that she was a little disappointed.
It was the same feeling she had had on the Presidium. The Presidium was very beautiful, even stunning, but it just wasn't that special. Maybe she had been expecting more because her people had been barred from there? There definitely had been a shroud of mysticism surrounding the place, for it must have been something special if they weren't allowed access. The few remaining stories about the Presidium didn't help either, since all of them described it as a paradise; very calming, relaxing and beautiful. Some stories even described its calm atmosphere as magical; when you stepped inside, your mind simply emptied before all the beauty, you just couldn't think about anything else.
She did agree with the most of them; it was truly a marvelous place, certainly living up to the stories. The calmness of the atmosphere was something she had never experienced before; it was truly wondrous. Most of the shapes were round, calming. A few sharp angles could be seen as well, but they fit in perfectly. The colors were very light, almost sterile, but the clusters of trees broke that feeling. It created a sharp, but still somehow calming contrast; 'This is where we came from; this is where we are now.' The almost complete silence was the final touch.
In addition to having a calming effect, the nature reminded Tali of home. The Migrant Fleet had plenty of flora from the Homeworld onboard, but unlike on the Citadel, they weren't simply for decoration; some produced fruits or berries, some vegetables, and some medical ingredients. Sure, some plants or small trees were used for decoration, but their purpose was not to make the Fleet ships look more pretty, but to create calmness, comfort. Seeing as nature had a calming effect on most species, quarians among them, decorating their ships with flora helped to create more comfortable, secure and soothing atmosphere on the Fleet.
So yes, sure, the Presidium was amazing, but there was something about it that the stories didn't mention… In addition to beautiful and calming, there was also one other adjective perfect to describe the Presidium; wasteful. All the empty space, the lake, the nature… To maintain them must cost a terrifying amount of resources! It was as if the Council wished to boast their wealth, to demonstrate their power. How many Fleet ships could be supported for a month with the daily expenses of the Presidium? It was sad how unequal the distribution of wealth was; the Council had so much, and the quarians had so little…
Tali's focus returned to the world around her; she noticed some kind of a checkpoint beyond the elevator. It was manned by two turians, wearing similar uniforms to the one Garrus had. The eyes of the guard on the left went wide as the group of five approached them, while the other guard kept reading a magazine. Apparently Tali, Wrex and Garrus Vakarian seemed fascinating to the left guard; he kept staring at all three of them.
"Garrus," the left guard said, "What the hell kind of people are you hanging around with?" He gave Tali and Wrex a look. Not maybe one of disgust, but of disbelief.
"With the kind of people who're gonna do something about Saren," Garrus retorted.
The guard chuckled. "Right, your Saren-obsession."
Obsession? Wonder why the guard would use such a term?
Garrus lowered his head slightly. "Yeah, obsession. That's what it is…" he replied tiredly.
The guard's mandibles flickered. "It's not? Haven't you even been trying to nail him on your personal time, too? What do you call that? Healthy enjoyment of ones work?"
Garrus had been trying to catch Saren on his personal time? That would explain why he was with Shepard; he wanted to catch Saren…But why would a turian care about a human colony? These 'squadmates' of hers seemed to be quite extraordinary; or strange, depending on your viewpoint…
"I call that caring. Nobody else seemed to care that he had betraye—"
The guard interrupted him, moving his hand to imitate speech. "Blah, blah, blah. Yeah, 'betrayed the Council and is a disgrace to our people'. I've heard the damn speech too many times, Garrus. It's getting old."
"Don't worry; you don't have to hear about it anymore. We have proof," Garrus snapped. His posture had stiffened considerably, and his mandibles were moving quietly; he looked to be quite annoyed with the guard.
"We?" the guard asked, chuckling again. "So you've found a couple of nut—"
"You might wanna check up my credentials before you finish that sentence," Shepard interrupted him, eyes slightly narrowed.
The turian guard glared at Shepard for a second, but then started tapping at the terminal. After a moment, a quiet beep could be heard, and the surprise could clearly be seen on the guard's face. "Y-You're here to see the Council, Commander?"
"Yes. Me and these…" Shepard glanced at Garrus, Wrex and Tali. "…nutjobs."
"I apologize, Commander. I didn't know it was you."
"Just let us in already. You've wasted enough of our time," Shepard snapped.
The guard glanced at Tali and Wrex again. "I'm not sure if I should let the krogan and the quarian pass." He put his hands behind his back, and began talking with his 'official' voice: "The Council wishes to avoid any incidents. I'm sure you understand."
Again, the racism… Even though Tali had already gotten used to it, it still felt as bad as it did the first time. Were her people barbarians, who'd just attack everyone who doesn't agree with them? Maybe the Council treated the quarians badly, but quarians definitely wouldn't sink to their level.
"They're not gonna cause trouble," Shepard retorted.
The guard sighed, and gave Shepard a data pad: "Please sign this, and state the purpose of their visit. It will make you responsible for all their actions."
Shepard turned at Wrex and Tali: "You two are going to behave?"
"Y-yes, sure. Definitely," Tali stuttered, and Wrex growled quietly. That was a joke, yes? She was definitely not someone who'd start trouble with anyone, least of all the Council, and she hoped that Shepard hadn't gotten that impression. Well, maybe that wasn't exactly true; yes, she wouldn't start trouble, but neither would she just watch someone insult her people. Chief Williams had remarked about her being 'a quarian' and she had immediately fired back, which she would do again, but it may have given the impression of her being quite temperate, rash. Maybe Shepard thought that she couldn't control herself in front of the Council? If they'd insult the quarian people in some way, or say something she could interpret as an insult…
And the fact that she had actually pointed a gun at him, at all of her present comrades, couldn't have been too helpful either… Maybe he thought that she was hasty? Reckless? She had also told about her adventures to get intel on the geth… Looking back now, it had been extremely reckless…
Or maybe it was a joke? Most of the things Shepard said were, at least till now. But she'd only known him for two hours, and you couldn't exactly get to know someone in such a short time…
Shepard chuckled lightly, and began writing something to the data pad. After a few moments, he gave the pad back to the guard, whose eyes began traveling through it. At one point, his eyes went wide.
"This is an official document!" he exclaimed, now looking at the Commander. The turian guard looked to be quite outraged.
"And those are my official answers," Shepard replied matter-of-factly.
The guard looked at the other guard, who had been reading a magazine the whole time: "You see this?" He showed the pad to his partner.
The other guard took a look at the pad, his eyes traveling through it as well. He chuckled twice, and turned back to the magazine: "Funny."
The guard kept looking at the pad, seemingly uncertain of what to do. Shepard then apparently decided to help him: "Just let us in. Those are the best answers you'll get."
The guard shook his head, sighed, and opened the small gate of the checkpoint.
Wonder what Shepard had written on the pad, that it invoked such a reaction? The guard still seemed to be quite upset.
As the team walked through the gate, the guard kept glaring at Tali, Garrus, and Wrex.
…
"What was that about, skipper?" Ashley Williams asked the Commander, again voicing Tali's thoughts.
Shepard shrugged: "Just something I wrote."
"And what's that?" Williams kept pressing.
Shepard chuckled uncomfortably before speaking: "I don't know if it's really funny, but I just put something pretty weird as Tali's and Wrex's visit's purpose…"
Williams raised an eyebrow at him: "You're really dragging this on, sir."
Shepard chuckled twice "Sorry." He cleared his throat, and continued: "I, uh, wrote that Tali was my personal food taster and Wrex my housemaid, and that it was impossible for me to go before the Council without them."
Tali frowned and grinned at the same time. A food taster? Even the idea of a quarian being someone's food taster was absurd, because if a quarian would eat the same food as his master, he would, you know, die. Guess this one was one of those, you know, jokes.
Oh Keelah… Now she realized how tired she actually was; surviving the attack on her life, running around the Citadel, and meeting a lot of new, strange people… She even had trouble recognizing clear jokes. Tali felt like falling down and sleeping for days, now that she actually could. After all, she didn't need to watch her back by herself anymore. Her newfound squad would probably take care of that…
"Smart thinking, sir; can never know when you need a housemaid or a food taster," Williams replied, with a barely noticeable smile on her face.
"Well said, Chief," Kaidan Alenko remarked to Williams, who turned at him and gave him one of those 'shut up' –looks. Alenko immediately obliged. Now Tali remembered the little argument Alenko and Williams had had in the elevator; it had been something about the attack on Eden Prime being somehow justifiable. Ashley Williams hadn't quite agreed with Alenko, and Tali had wondered why. Maybe she had lost someone close in the attack? That would probably explain her remark about her being "a quarian"; she was angry at her people for creating the geth…
Tali lowered her head.
It was unfortunate, but she didn't blame Williams; sometimes Tali was angry at her ancestors too. They had created the geth, and their descendants are still paying for that mistake. Living aboard the Flotilla, not having a home, then having all the hate, distrust and anger targeted against them, although they were not the ones responsible.
It was unfair, but so was everything else.
Maybe Tali should talk to her? Not at that moment, but maybe later? Talking was the way quarians handled their problems; living inside the cramped ships forced everyone to get along, so quarians were very social creatures. That didn't mean that they liked talking, but rather that they were, and are, quick to offer support. "No secrets between shipmates" is a quarian proverb, symbolizing this trust between the members of the crews. But maybe humans did things differently? "The most individualistic of all Council species," she remembered some brochure or something saying. Perhaps they liked to handle things on their own?
Oh Keelah… Not everyone did things the way quarians did, and she shouldn't make such judgments. Again she felt so tired…
The team went on to sit on a few benches; it was still a few minutes before the meeting began. They sat there for while, and Tali noticed Kaidan throwing looks at Garrus, as if wanting to ask him something.
Apparently, he managed to gather enough courage, since Alenko began speaking to him:"You knew that guy from the gate, Garrus?"
Garrus lowered his head, like he didn't want to recall the event: "Yeah, that was Sergeant Blandus, my former co-worker."
"Sounds like he didn't appreciate your thoughts on Saren," Kaidan Alenko remarked.
"Yeah, he didn't. Neither did most of them. They said I was obsessed, I said I was right," he raised his head up again. "Wish I could see their faces after the meeting."
Now the high-ranking human officer, Anderson, arrived. He signaled for the team to follow him.
…
