This story is moving forward very slow. I've decided to not skip events. I'll try to write them down as describing as possible. I have all these scenes pictured in my mind and I wish they had they same affect on you. I want you to see these people in front of you, speaking these words and thinking these thoughts. After all, it was something the show never shared with us.
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- - - -I've never done this before. I always thought dairy's were for losers. But there's a first time for everything, I guess. I just didn't know what to do. As I got up here, in my room. I closed the door and felt so lost. I had no idea what to do. This was the only thing that came up, strangely. It's so hard to believe. My life has abandoned me. Prue's downstairs. Bleeding on the floor. For some reason unknown to us, she couldn't be saved. I don't get it. We've died before, we've faced death on many occasions. But this time it's different. This time everyone knows it; It's permanent. There's no coming back and it scares the hell out of me. Piper thinks it's my fault and I can't argue on that. Hadn't I insisted on waiting for Cole, there might have been a chance we'd make it. There might have been a chance to save her. I guess we'll never know now. It's something I'll have to carry inside of me forever, nagging and whispering.; What if I acted differently?- - - -
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Phoebe laid on her bed, her stomach pressed against the sheets as she let her pen dance across the paper. The words writing themselves almost. It was a strange feeling. She had never surrendered to her thoughts like this before. She still fought the tears that wanted to fall from her eyes. She still fought the grieving process. She had to stay strong. Prue would've.
And it wasn't enough that Prue died. She had to loose Piper too? She had never seen Piper this angry before. And now, as she was alone with her thoughts. She began to believe that Piper had all the right to barge at her like that. She started to blame herself. How could she not? Because the truth still remained - had she and Leo orbed up here earlier it might not have been too late. Prue might have still been alive.
But, then what if she and Leo had orbed out.. What would have happened to Cole? When he realised Phoebe was gone. What if he thought they took her? What if they had hurt him? What if they had killed him? Would she been able to live with herself then? Knowing there was a chance she could've prevented it?
It all came down to her making a decision. She had to choose. She had to choose between her sister and the love of her life. She had to choose between Prue and Cole. And Piper was right. She had chosen Cole over Prue. And it was her choice that killed Prue. It was her fault. But she couldn't just leave Cole there. She just couldn't...
It was so unfair! Why did she even have to choose in the first place? Why did this have to happen? Why couldn't those stupid Elders just do their frickin' job and look out for Prue? Keep her alive?! Keep the Power of Three alive?! That was all they cared about anyway. To keep the Power of Three safe so they could use the three of them as fighting soldiers against demons.
And now look what happened!
Phoebe felt a tear escaping her eye and she felt it sliding down her cheek. Following the curves of her face. Until it reached the end of her chin and finally left her. Fell upon the paper of her diary. Drowning the words she had written there just seconds ago.
Phoebe angrily wiped her cheek with the back of her left hand, cleaning off the trace of her tear as she suppressed her pain and grabbed a tighter hold of the pencil, continuing writing down her thoughts.
This time she wasn't going to give in. She wasn't going to surrender to her pain. She wasn't going to cry. Not this time.
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"Piper?" Leo gently asked as he finally stepped into the attic. He had left her alone for a while. Left her to her pain. Until he decided it was safe to see her. Until his concern got the best of him. "Piper, what are you doing?" he asked worried as he saw Piper seated on the floor in the middle of the attic, surrounded by candles. The shadows of their flames flickered on her tormented face as she furiously flipped through the Book of Shadows. He could see the traces of the tears that had been haunting her. Hurting her. "Piper--"
"Why isn't it working?!" Piper cut Leo off without even looking up from the book. She had been searching the book for some time now. Trying out different spells but none of them helped. None of them worked. "Why aren't any of the spells helping?" she continued flipping the pages in the book. So violently Leo was afraid she might tore them. Piper finally looked up and met Leo's worried eyes and cried. "What is it that I'm doing wrong?"
"Piper.." Leo said quietly as he carefully walked up to her, sat down next to her in order to embrace her.
"No!" Piper yelled as she pushed him away. She didn't need a hug. She needed an answer. "Why have the book suddenly abandoned me?" She asked him as she frightened met his concerned gaze. "We've been through this before...." Her tears drowned her voice and she took a deep breath in order to talk. "Why now?" Piper asked, afraid of what his answer might be. Afraid there was no way of correcting this terrible mistake. Because, that's what it was. A mistake.
"She's gone.." Leo whispered as he looked Piper deep into her eyes. Facing her fragile soul. "You're not suppose to bring her back." he continued. "What has happened is beyond horrible but.. we have to accept that it has. We have to accept that Prue's no longer with us. And I know it's hard." He said as he knew he was pushing it too far if he'd say what he was about to say. But he didn't have a choice. He had to continue. "I know it's hard but we have to hold it together. We have to pull ourselves together long enough to deal with Prue downstairs. We can't just leave her there Piper, you know we can't." He looked into her eyes as he waited for her reaction.
Piper knew that if they dealt with Prue's body it would mean accepting she wasn't coming back. It would mean stop fighting for her and moving on with their lives. It would mean accepting the one thing Piper couldn't - Prue's death.
"No." Piper answered as she broke his gaze and returned to the Book of Shadows. Continued flipping the pages, hysterically tried to find a spell that would save her from her pain. A spell that would bring her sister back. "No.. No, there has to be a way." she said as her eyes frantically scanned the pages.
"Piper.." Leo whispered as he watched his wife in denial, ignoring the truth. If there was any way of making this easier on her? Any way to take her pain away because he couldn't stand seeing her like this.
"No." Piper said as she kept looking through the book. "No, there's a way. Somewhere in here. I know there is... Somewhere--"
"Piper." Leo said as he gently put his hand on her shoulder.
Piper stopped flipping the pages and lowered her head in defeat, in despair. She covered her mouth with her right hand in an attempt to silent her cries. Then she closed her eyes, tight, trying to lock her tears inside. But somehow they managed to escape. Somehow they managed to wash down her face. Silently she cried until she had to breath in for air and a loud sob echoed through her inhale.
"Why couldn't you save her?" Piper cried. She knew that Leo had healed her first and that maybe if he hadn't, Prue would still be alive now. "Why'd you have to heal me first?" Piper sobbed as she looked up at him and met his eyes.
Leo's eyes were covered in guilt. Because he knew that he had healed Piper first. He had chose to heal her first because she was his wife, he loved her with all his heart and he couldn't live without her. Perhaps it was his fault that Prue was gone. Perhaps he should have healed her first. But at the risk of loosing Piper? No, if he had to make the same decision again, he'd still chose Piper. He'd still follow his heart.
"You just healed me cause I'm your wife.." Piper sobbed, her voice was very fragile but she still went on. "You chose wrong!" Piper tried to yell. "You should've healed Prue, she's the super-witch. You should've... You should've healed her.." Piper cried as her tears drowned her voice.
Leo searched for her eyes and as they found eyecontact he spoke. "And let you die?" He too was crying now, he wanted to stay strong for Piper but he couldn't keep his tears from falling.
Piper's tears eased for a moment as she looked at Leo, pondering his question. Then as she was about to speak, her sobs overwhelmed her. "I.. I.." She took a deep breath in order to go on. "I can't live without her anyway.." After those words, Piper's tears overtook her. Even if she wanted to say something now, she simply couldn't. She had trouble enough breathing.
Leo moved in closer as Piper bowed down her head in tears. He embraced her in his arms, resting her head on his shoulder as her sobbing cries found his ear. He held a firmer grip on her, held her closer to let her know she wasn't alone in this. To let her know she had him, that he was there. Right there by her side. His hug urged her to let her tears fall. She had to set them free in order to accept Prue's death. She had to cry. Holding her feelings inside would only tear her apart.
And she cried. She cried to the point where she couldn't breathe anymore. Her sobs choked her breath and she inhaled hysterically as she fought for air to enter her lungs. She held on to the back of Leo's sweater, gripping it with her hand as she buried her wet face in his neck. The smell of his presence calmed her down a bit. The feeling of his arms rapped around her gave her the slightest comfort. It didn't take the pain away, but it helped. It helped her dealing with the pain. Coping with the tragedy. And for that she was thankful.
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Cole looked around, searching the place for enemies. He had just shimmered in and the dark tunnels of the Underworld was a dangerous place, especially now. He knew that. But he had to risk it. He had to find out if there were any demons following her. He had to find out if Phoebe was safe. Just as he thought there was no danger, a feeling washed over him. It was the feeling of evil. He felt a knife pointing to the back of his neck and a familiar voice spoke.
"Back so soon, Belthazor?"
"Of course." Cole answered. "I knew you'd miss me. Sarvoid." he finished sarcastically.
Sarvoid was, just like Cole, one of the Source's personal hitmans. They had never been on friendly terms. Even as they were on the same side. They had fought over the Source's attention. And Cole had beaten him as he earned the job of taking out the Charmed Ones. Sarvoid had hated him ever since. The fact that Cole had switched sides and joined the side of good didn't exactly make Sarvoid a bigger fan of his. He absolutely loathed his presence and Cole enjoyed it.
Sarvoid swiftly turned Cole around and grabbed his black robe as he violently pushed him up against the wall and pressed the athame against his throat.
"I have a message to deliver, O mighty Belthazor." Sarvoid mocked him as his furious eyes met Cole's steady gaze.
"Oh really?" Cole said. "You're not just gonna kill me then?" he challenged with a smile.
"I'm tempted. BELIEVE me." Sarvoid replied as he pressed his athame stronger against Cole's throat. "But he wants you alive."
"Wow, I'm honoured." Cole joked as the sharp athame tickled his throat.
"Join us and we'll spare the witches lives." Sarvoid said firmly as he ignored Cole's comment. He playfully twisted the knife if his hand.
"I won't let you hurt them." Cole hissed as his face turned serious. He'd rather die on the spot then having Phoebe hurt. That was just not an option.
"You're not exactly in the position to stop me." Sarvoid smiled as he looked Cole up and down.
"I swear. If you as much as touch her.." Cole threatened.
"Ah, ah, ah." Sarvoid interrupted him and pressed the athame even tighter against him. "You just take up on our offer and I won't." he said as he stared into Cole's threatening eyes. "As simple as that."
Sarvoid then let go of Cole and pushed him roughly to the wall as he took a step back and placed the athame in his coat pocket.
Cole glared at him with hatred shooting from his eyes as he pondered on whether to kill him or not. Not that it would make any difference. The threatening would still stand and Phoebe's life would still be in danger. And without the Power of Three to protect her...
"I'd think about it if I were you." Sarvoid said right before he shimmered out with a grim smile.
His cockiness really bothered Cole and he regretted that he didn't energyball his sorry ass
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Yep, managed to squeeze in a scene with Cole. He really is the best character to have ever entered that show and I curse upon the writers for killing him off the way they did. That's just something I'll never get past, no matter how many fanfics I write. Watch out for the next chapter! He'll make an appearance there as well. Wish I could have him in all the chapters. So, what do you think so far? It's hard to keep them in character. Especially when they have to deal with a tragedy as heartbreaking as this one. But I'm doing my best and I hope that's good enough. So please, review and tell me what you think of the story? Pleeaase? I live for reviews!!
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- - - -I've never done this before. I always thought dairy's were for losers. But there's a first time for everything, I guess. I just didn't know what to do. As I got up here, in my room. I closed the door and felt so lost. I had no idea what to do. This was the only thing that came up, strangely. It's so hard to believe. My life has abandoned me. Prue's downstairs. Bleeding on the floor. For some reason unknown to us, she couldn't be saved. I don't get it. We've died before, we've faced death on many occasions. But this time it's different. This time everyone knows it; It's permanent. There's no coming back and it scares the hell out of me. Piper thinks it's my fault and I can't argue on that. Hadn't I insisted on waiting for Cole, there might have been a chance we'd make it. There might have been a chance to save her. I guess we'll never know now. It's something I'll have to carry inside of me forever, nagging and whispering.; What if I acted differently?- - - -
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Phoebe laid on her bed, her stomach pressed against the sheets as she let her pen dance across the paper. The words writing themselves almost. It was a strange feeling. She had never surrendered to her thoughts like this before. She still fought the tears that wanted to fall from her eyes. She still fought the grieving process. She had to stay strong. Prue would've.
And it wasn't enough that Prue died. She had to loose Piper too? She had never seen Piper this angry before. And now, as she was alone with her thoughts. She began to believe that Piper had all the right to barge at her like that. She started to blame herself. How could she not? Because the truth still remained - had she and Leo orbed up here earlier it might not have been too late. Prue might have still been alive.
But, then what if she and Leo had orbed out.. What would have happened to Cole? When he realised Phoebe was gone. What if he thought they took her? What if they had hurt him? What if they had killed him? Would she been able to live with herself then? Knowing there was a chance she could've prevented it?
It all came down to her making a decision. She had to choose. She had to choose between her sister and the love of her life. She had to choose between Prue and Cole. And Piper was right. She had chosen Cole over Prue. And it was her choice that killed Prue. It was her fault. But she couldn't just leave Cole there. She just couldn't...
It was so unfair! Why did she even have to choose in the first place? Why did this have to happen? Why couldn't those stupid Elders just do their frickin' job and look out for Prue? Keep her alive?! Keep the Power of Three alive?! That was all they cared about anyway. To keep the Power of Three safe so they could use the three of them as fighting soldiers against demons.
And now look what happened!
Phoebe felt a tear escaping her eye and she felt it sliding down her cheek. Following the curves of her face. Until it reached the end of her chin and finally left her. Fell upon the paper of her diary. Drowning the words she had written there just seconds ago.
Phoebe angrily wiped her cheek with the back of her left hand, cleaning off the trace of her tear as she suppressed her pain and grabbed a tighter hold of the pencil, continuing writing down her thoughts.
This time she wasn't going to give in. She wasn't going to surrender to her pain. She wasn't going to cry. Not this time.
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"Piper?" Leo gently asked as he finally stepped into the attic. He had left her alone for a while. Left her to her pain. Until he decided it was safe to see her. Until his concern got the best of him. "Piper, what are you doing?" he asked worried as he saw Piper seated on the floor in the middle of the attic, surrounded by candles. The shadows of their flames flickered on her tormented face as she furiously flipped through the Book of Shadows. He could see the traces of the tears that had been haunting her. Hurting her. "Piper--"
"Why isn't it working?!" Piper cut Leo off without even looking up from the book. She had been searching the book for some time now. Trying out different spells but none of them helped. None of them worked. "Why aren't any of the spells helping?" she continued flipping the pages in the book. So violently Leo was afraid she might tore them. Piper finally looked up and met Leo's worried eyes and cried. "What is it that I'm doing wrong?"
"Piper.." Leo said quietly as he carefully walked up to her, sat down next to her in order to embrace her.
"No!" Piper yelled as she pushed him away. She didn't need a hug. She needed an answer. "Why have the book suddenly abandoned me?" She asked him as she frightened met his concerned gaze. "We've been through this before...." Her tears drowned her voice and she took a deep breath in order to talk. "Why now?" Piper asked, afraid of what his answer might be. Afraid there was no way of correcting this terrible mistake. Because, that's what it was. A mistake.
"She's gone.." Leo whispered as he looked Piper deep into her eyes. Facing her fragile soul. "You're not suppose to bring her back." he continued. "What has happened is beyond horrible but.. we have to accept that it has. We have to accept that Prue's no longer with us. And I know it's hard." He said as he knew he was pushing it too far if he'd say what he was about to say. But he didn't have a choice. He had to continue. "I know it's hard but we have to hold it together. We have to pull ourselves together long enough to deal with Prue downstairs. We can't just leave her there Piper, you know we can't." He looked into her eyes as he waited for her reaction.
Piper knew that if they dealt with Prue's body it would mean accepting she wasn't coming back. It would mean stop fighting for her and moving on with their lives. It would mean accepting the one thing Piper couldn't - Prue's death.
"No." Piper answered as she broke his gaze and returned to the Book of Shadows. Continued flipping the pages, hysterically tried to find a spell that would save her from her pain. A spell that would bring her sister back. "No.. No, there has to be a way." she said as her eyes frantically scanned the pages.
"Piper.." Leo whispered as he watched his wife in denial, ignoring the truth. If there was any way of making this easier on her? Any way to take her pain away because he couldn't stand seeing her like this.
"No." Piper said as she kept looking through the book. "No, there's a way. Somewhere in here. I know there is... Somewhere--"
"Piper." Leo said as he gently put his hand on her shoulder.
Piper stopped flipping the pages and lowered her head in defeat, in despair. She covered her mouth with her right hand in an attempt to silent her cries. Then she closed her eyes, tight, trying to lock her tears inside. But somehow they managed to escape. Somehow they managed to wash down her face. Silently she cried until she had to breath in for air and a loud sob echoed through her inhale.
"Why couldn't you save her?" Piper cried. She knew that Leo had healed her first and that maybe if he hadn't, Prue would still be alive now. "Why'd you have to heal me first?" Piper sobbed as she looked up at him and met his eyes.
Leo's eyes were covered in guilt. Because he knew that he had healed Piper first. He had chose to heal her first because she was his wife, he loved her with all his heart and he couldn't live without her. Perhaps it was his fault that Prue was gone. Perhaps he should have healed her first. But at the risk of loosing Piper? No, if he had to make the same decision again, he'd still chose Piper. He'd still follow his heart.
"You just healed me cause I'm your wife.." Piper sobbed, her voice was very fragile but she still went on. "You chose wrong!" Piper tried to yell. "You should've healed Prue, she's the super-witch. You should've... You should've healed her.." Piper cried as her tears drowned her voice.
Leo searched for her eyes and as they found eyecontact he spoke. "And let you die?" He too was crying now, he wanted to stay strong for Piper but he couldn't keep his tears from falling.
Piper's tears eased for a moment as she looked at Leo, pondering his question. Then as she was about to speak, her sobs overwhelmed her. "I.. I.." She took a deep breath in order to go on. "I can't live without her anyway.." After those words, Piper's tears overtook her. Even if she wanted to say something now, she simply couldn't. She had trouble enough breathing.
Leo moved in closer as Piper bowed down her head in tears. He embraced her in his arms, resting her head on his shoulder as her sobbing cries found his ear. He held a firmer grip on her, held her closer to let her know she wasn't alone in this. To let her know she had him, that he was there. Right there by her side. His hug urged her to let her tears fall. She had to set them free in order to accept Prue's death. She had to cry. Holding her feelings inside would only tear her apart.
And she cried. She cried to the point where she couldn't breathe anymore. Her sobs choked her breath and she inhaled hysterically as she fought for air to enter her lungs. She held on to the back of Leo's sweater, gripping it with her hand as she buried her wet face in his neck. The smell of his presence calmed her down a bit. The feeling of his arms rapped around her gave her the slightest comfort. It didn't take the pain away, but it helped. It helped her dealing with the pain. Coping with the tragedy. And for that she was thankful.
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Cole looked around, searching the place for enemies. He had just shimmered in and the dark tunnels of the Underworld was a dangerous place, especially now. He knew that. But he had to risk it. He had to find out if there were any demons following her. He had to find out if Phoebe was safe. Just as he thought there was no danger, a feeling washed over him. It was the feeling of evil. He felt a knife pointing to the back of his neck and a familiar voice spoke.
"Back so soon, Belthazor?"
"Of course." Cole answered. "I knew you'd miss me. Sarvoid." he finished sarcastically.
Sarvoid was, just like Cole, one of the Source's personal hitmans. They had never been on friendly terms. Even as they were on the same side. They had fought over the Source's attention. And Cole had beaten him as he earned the job of taking out the Charmed Ones. Sarvoid had hated him ever since. The fact that Cole had switched sides and joined the side of good didn't exactly make Sarvoid a bigger fan of his. He absolutely loathed his presence and Cole enjoyed it.
Sarvoid swiftly turned Cole around and grabbed his black robe as he violently pushed him up against the wall and pressed the athame against his throat.
"I have a message to deliver, O mighty Belthazor." Sarvoid mocked him as his furious eyes met Cole's steady gaze.
"Oh really?" Cole said. "You're not just gonna kill me then?" he challenged with a smile.
"I'm tempted. BELIEVE me." Sarvoid replied as he pressed his athame stronger against Cole's throat. "But he wants you alive."
"Wow, I'm honoured." Cole joked as the sharp athame tickled his throat.
"Join us and we'll spare the witches lives." Sarvoid said firmly as he ignored Cole's comment. He playfully twisted the knife if his hand.
"I won't let you hurt them." Cole hissed as his face turned serious. He'd rather die on the spot then having Phoebe hurt. That was just not an option.
"You're not exactly in the position to stop me." Sarvoid smiled as he looked Cole up and down.
"I swear. If you as much as touch her.." Cole threatened.
"Ah, ah, ah." Sarvoid interrupted him and pressed the athame even tighter against him. "You just take up on our offer and I won't." he said as he stared into Cole's threatening eyes. "As simple as that."
Sarvoid then let go of Cole and pushed him roughly to the wall as he took a step back and placed the athame in his coat pocket.
Cole glared at him with hatred shooting from his eyes as he pondered on whether to kill him or not. Not that it would make any difference. The threatening would still stand and Phoebe's life would still be in danger. And without the Power of Three to protect her...
"I'd think about it if I were you." Sarvoid said right before he shimmered out with a grim smile.
His cockiness really bothered Cole and he regretted that he didn't energyball his sorry ass
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Yep, managed to squeeze in a scene with Cole. He really is the best character to have ever entered that show and I curse upon the writers for killing him off the way they did. That's just something I'll never get past, no matter how many fanfics I write. Watch out for the next chapter! He'll make an appearance there as well. Wish I could have him in all the chapters. So, what do you think so far? It's hard to keep them in character. Especially when they have to deal with a tragedy as heartbreaking as this one. But I'm doing my best and I hope that's good enough. So please, review and tell me what you think of the story? Pleeaase? I live for reviews!!
