"If I could I would do all of this again…travel back in time with you to where this all began. We could hide inside ourselves and leave the world behindand make believe there's something left to find." Miles Apart - Yellowcard

Back At Your Door

Chapter Three

You wanted to sleep in the guest room, and actually assumed you would, but apparently that is where Shane has been sleeping since you left. Your eyes lightly look at the rumpled sheets and the thrown pillows, before leaning against the door. You had finally got Jamie to sleep on the couch, but you know you will eventually have to go back to Caitlyn and Nate's house to tuck him in a real bed. "Do you want to sleep here?" Shane comes up behind you. You jump and meet his eyes. "Sorry." He mutters, going passed you to take his watch from the night table. He frowns. "I didn't even put it on this morning." He mumbles, snapping the leather against his wrist.

He closes his eyes and just stands there. "I can sleep on the couch and we can put Jamie in the…main bedroom." You offer awkwardly, but Shane doesn't answer. He is staring at the watch intensely - or rather, as if he is in a different place. His eyes are gone. His breathing is labored and he looks to be in pain. "Shane?" you say, concern in your voice. "Shane!" You go over to him, putting a hand on his back. "Are you okay?" you try to get him to snap out of it, shaking his shoulder lightly.

He blinks, his eyes widening at you. "Y-yeah, I'm fine." He stutters. He swallows harshly. "Yo-you can sleep here. I'll sleep over there. Just…" he trails off, before putting a hand to his head. He winces in pain, as you assume memories attack him. You gasp sharply and immediately bring your arms forward to catch him. "Fuck." He whispers, running the hand through his hair.

"What's going on?" you ask lightly, pushing his curly hair back. He stands up straighter, leaning against you. His eyes are bright when they look at you and suddenly, his face softens.

"Come here." He says gently. You immediately take a step back, looking at his with sad eyes. His face flashes with pain for a moment before he just takes a step back as well. He swallows harshly. "You know…it was never about that. I love you in spite of that." He doesn't clarify what that is, but you know. You press your lips together. "Have a good night, Mitchie." Shane shakes his head before going out of the room.

The sound of the door closing sends tears to your eyes again. This day has been so fucking emotionally tiring. You just want to scream. Swallowing, you take a deep breath before stripping from the black dress you have worn all day. You reach into the drawers absentmindedly, almost slamming them open. You find most of his clothes and you hesitate before taking a shirt.

The fabric is cold on your naked skin and you go quickly to the unmade bed. His smell is so obvious in between the sheets, and the second your face hits the pillow, you almost break down again.

Why did he have to cheat on you?

You were so perfect.

xxx

You hardly get any sleep, but you get up at seven in the morning anyways because of the noise coming from outside your door. Taking a pair of Shane's sweatpants from the dresser, you quietly exit the room. "No! I want grapes and apples!" Jamie's giggle echoes in the small house. You wrap your arms around yourself as you enter the kitchen. "Hey, Aunt Emmy." The little boy calls out as soon as he sees you. You give him a confused smile as he kicks his small legs. He is perched on the kitchen counter, with Shane right in front of him in case he falls.

Your eyes widen slightly when you see Shane. Clad in only a small black tank top, his muscular arms are visible. He still hasn't looked up from cutting up the fruit, but the second he does, you wish you could disappear. His eyes are so pretty; they have always been a weakness for you. You watch wordlessly as he gives you the once over, immediately noticing you are wearing his clothes. A flash of pain goes through his eyes and he looks back down. You press your lips together. "I didn't have any other clothes. I didn't want to disturb you and ask where they were." You answer, rubbing your arm.

"Aunt Em! We're cutting fruit. You want some?" Jamie asks, holding up a slice of an apple. You give him a smile and go closer to the boys in order to kiss Jamie's forehead.

"Sure, love." You answer, opening your mouth slightly for the little boy to feed you. He giggles and shoves it gently in your mouth. "You look better." You mutter, not even to him. He just smiles before biting into the fruit again. "Anything I can do to help?" you ask Shane, your voice a little more serious. He pauses before nodding.

"Yeah." He mumbles, looking up with those eyes again. You take a deep breath and go behind the counter. "Help me cut the pears." You nod before making a face at Jamie's face. The little boy scrunched up his nose. "James doesn't like pears." Shane informs you, as Jamie shakes his head no. "But I do, so we're cutting them anyways." Shane teases, raising his hand to flick Jamie's nose. Jamie sticks his tongue out and goes back to eating his apple. "Hey, buddy, why don't you get ready for breakfast and wash your hands? Did you brush your teeth yet?" Shane says, letting go of his knife to pick Jamie up.

"No." the little boy scrunches his nose again before sighing. "But fine." Shane puts him down, wincing slightly, and the boy runs off. You take a knife out of the cupboard and awkwardly start cutting into the apples. Shane clears his throat and you look at him. Biting his lip, he shrugs. You nod.

"I didn't even think of brushing his teeth or hair or…" you trail off, your voice a little rough. Shane shrugs again.

"That's okay." He mumbles, going behind you to grab some oranges. You freeze when his chest rubs against your back. At the same moment, you raised your arm to cut another slice, shifting the shirt so that it falls down your shoulder. Shane takes a deep breath as your collarbone and shoulder are visible, and a deep shiver goes through you as the warm air hits your skin. He tenses and doesn't even realize he is leaning forward, until he jerks his hand forward violently onto the kitchen counter to stop himself from ramming into you. you jump backwards, surprised at his sudden movement.

His hand goes to your waist, squeezing you and his shirt roughly. You gasp as he nuzzles his nose on the back of your neck, lightly pressing his lips onto your skin. "Sh-hane…" you say shakily, closing your eyes tightly.

"God, you smell amazing." He digs his face into your hair before nipping at your ear. "I've missed you so much." He confesses, his tongue poking out and licking your earlobe softly. At that same moment, Jamie walks back in.

"Finished!" he announces and both you and Shane jump. You immediately push away from Shane, smiling frantically at Jamie and putting as much space between you and your ex-lover as possible. He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, before painfully focusing on the little boy again. "You haven't started on the oranges yet?" he asks with a confused look.

Shane clears his throat. "Sorry, buddy. I'll get on that right now." His voice is hoarse but he grabs the fruit. You wrap your arms around yourself before running a hand through your hair. You shiver when your fingers hit the damp spot on your ear Shane has left, and you chide yourself for letting him take control of you like that.

"We're just having fruit?" you ask, clearing your throat as well. Jamie frowns and looks at you confused. Shane shoots you a panicked look and slices his hand in front of his throat to shut you up. You freeze. "Fruit sounds amazing on second thought." You say quickly and Jamie looks away from you.

He bites his lip and sits down on the floor. "Momma didn't like pears either." Is all he says before shrugging his shoulders. "But Daddy does." He whispers before pulling his knees up. You close your eyes, disappointed in yourself and Shane bites his lip. You scurry over to Jamie, kneeling besides him. You hug him close to your chest.

"Your parents were right. A growing boy like you should eat as much fruit as possible. Come on, sweetie. We'll help Shane set the table." You tickle his sides, trying to make him smile. The little boy nods and dolefully stands up and goes to the placemats that are on the counter. He stands on his tippy toes to grab them as you look apologetically at Shane, but he has gone back to cutting the fruit.

xxx

"So Ms. Teresa is going to wonder where I am. Grandma told her I would be back today." Jamie tells you, entering your room hesitantly. You lower your eyebrows confused at him as you fold up the sweatpants you had on before you found some of your clothes. "Ms. Teresa? She's great. She's pretty." He provides as you tap your bed and he walks over to sit on it. You still give him the same confused look.

"Ms. Teresa?"

Jamie frowns. "My pre-K teacher. She's pretty." He repeats with a smile.

Your smile drops and your eyes widen. For a second, you don't know whether to freak out in front of him or call for Shane. You grab the remote quickly and turn on the TV to some random kids show. "Watch Spongebob. I'll be right back." You pat his head before going pretty quickly to Shane's bedroom…

Your old bedroom.

You pause at the closed door, your closed fist frozen. You take a deep breath and knock. "Jamie?" Shane sounds concerned and slightly puzzled. He knows Jamie could not knock that loudly or that high up. You bravely turn the knob just as Shane got off the bed, putting down a book he was leafing through.

And the memories come back to you in waves.

"Hey, come with me to Cait and Nate's? I want to give Jamie his Easter present." You wave over to Shane. He looked up from the book he was reading and shrugged his shoulder nonchalantly. He slipped off his glasses, putting them on top of the now discarded book on the night table. He gets off the bed, stretching his arms over his head.

You giggled. "Tired?" you said suggestively, running a hand down his chest. He bites his lip and his eyes darken a bit. "We could try again tonight." You whisper seductively, going closer to him to bite his lower lip. He moans as your teeth dig into his tender skin and he squeezes your waist.

"Oh, yeah?" he muttered hoarsely, capturing your lip into his. You wrapped your arms around his neck and he pushed you against the wall. "How about we try right now?" he grounded his hips into yours, tugging on your lower lip a little roughly. You leaned into his touch and smiled at him.

"It's Easter. We're supposed to abstain." You scolded him teasingly. He rolled his eyes and kisses you again. "Okay, but we cannot take too long. I want to get this to Jamie. Plus, me and Cait are gonna meet up with Claire. Hey! Why don't you and Nate join us for a night of pizza? I bet the girls wouldn't mind." You asked with a wide smile.

Shane rolled his eyes again, nodding just to shut you up. "I kinda want to do something here." He reminded you before bringing his large hands to your backside and lifting you up. You immediately wrapped your legs around his hips and allowed him to kiss you fully on your lips. "God, you taste so good." He moans into your mouth.

"Mitchie?" Shane raises an eyebrow. You snap out of it, looking at him closely involuntarily.

That's when you notice something is wrong.

His eyes are bright red with either tears or alcohol. He is actually shaking. The book you thought he was reading is upside down, as if grabbed quickly to pretend it was being used. He doesn't even have his glasses on. His eyes are wide and almost scared. "What's going on with you?" you ask, the innate concern for him too powerful to beat. "God, Shane." You stifle out, coming into the room further.

He parts his lips, his eyes over filling with tears. "I'm sorry." He chokes out, blinking away the wetness and rubbing his cheeks harshly. You come in closer, your heart breaking. You cannot stop yourself from putting a hand on his cheek to at least try to comfort him. He puts his own hand over yours, a sob escaping his throat, and he kneels up. "Mitchie." He cries, grabbing your arm lightly. You gasp as he pulls you into a tight hug. "God, I fucked up so badly. Now, they're…" he trails off, crying into your neck.

Your heart jumps. Is he apologizing to you about Claire? Or is he talking about something else?

Running your hands gently through his hair, you kiss his cheek. "Calm down, Shane." You coo him, but you have tears rushing to your eyes as well. It's so hard to stay angry with him, especially with him so vulnerable.

"I can't!" he yells, his eyes stormy. "I don't know how to. They would still be… I don't know how to take care of a kid, Mitchie. This isn't our job." He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes.

You frown and cross your arms, getting out of his embrace. "'They would still be…'? They who?"

"Oh, God." He mutters, crying harder before finally sitting back down. He cries hard into his knees, shaking with every tremor. You stare at him with wide eyes. This isn't the Shane you know. You cannot remember the last time he cried…

Well, actually, you can.

You put your hand to your chest, lightly tracing the circular metal underneath your shirt. "I need to take Jamie to school. He's about two hours late, but Caitlyn usually kept him there until four or five anyways. I'll be back, okay?" you say gently. Shane nods, still shaking. "We'll talk. You'll explain." You say, tightening your arms around yourself.

He lost his best friends too…except he also lost his baby brother.

When you turn around, Shane's hand darts out and grabs yours from leaving. You freeze, taking a step back and looking at him. His eyes are bright. "You'll listen?" he asks pointedly.

You look him in his cloudy eyes. You bite down on your lip before nodding. "I'll listen." You repeat and he sighs. He pulls your hand so that you come closer to him and goes on his knees again. You look at him with wide eyes and he puts a hand on your arm. Squeezing it, he pushes himself closer to you. He brushes his lips to yours and the second he does, you push him away and almost fly out of the room.

"I know my brother." Nate said, frowning at you.

You lauged humorlessly, wiping your tears angrily. "I saw them! Nate, I saw them with my damn eyes. They were in quite an embrace." You shouted, putting a hand to your throbbing head. Caitlyn sighed and looked at you sadly, before reaching over to hug you. You froze but let her touch you for a little bit before pulling away again.

"Shane says she kissed him. Have you even listened to him?" Nate argued and you flashed him a dirty look.

"I don't want to. Why should I? That bastard is the one who was sleeping with her-"

"You know that for a fact?" Nate yelled, cutting you off. Caitlyn shot him a look but he ignored her. You scoffed and crossed your arms, raising your eyebrows furiously.

"What? Are you fucking her too?" you snapped loudly and your two best friends look at you surprised and almost insulted.

"Are you kidding me?" He dropped his mouth and you shrug, too proud to take it back. Nate laughs mirthlessly and shakes his head. "I know my brother, and my brother is in love with you - which gotta tell you, at this moment, I don't even understand why. Get out of my house. Come back when you're willing to be mature about this. Until then, leave. I don't even want to see you." he spits out, disgust in his voice.

"Daddy?" Jamie came out of the other room. He was rubbing his eyes tiredly and Nate shot you another angry look before turning his back on you.

You blinked a tear. "Fuck you." you muttered under your breath.

xxx

"Shane?" you enter the house - your old house - as quietly as possible. You do not want to scare him anymore. You have never seen him so frightened and emotional before. Angry, sure, but never to this point. You push open his door and peer inside. You notice he has his eyes closed on the bed. Pressing your lips together, you go onto your old bed, ignoring the memories. The last time you were on this bed, the last time you were even in this room was the night before Caitlyn's birthday party…

"Is Claire going to be there?"

You looked at Shane for a second before smiling and nodding. "Yeah. Why?" you ask him but he doesn't answer you. Instead, he forces a tightlipped smile as a response. An old feeling goes through you but you shake it off. "You two have been getting close lately - which sucks because I would love to be trying to make a child with my -" he pushes you teasingly to stop your suggestiveness.

You squeeze his thigh and he goes back to driving. The silence was a little rough for you. It had been months since the two of you had decided you wanted kids, and yet there had been no change. You were starting to get worried.

"She's quite a girl." Shane randomly says, his eyes going somewhere else for a second.

You frown. "Yeah, she is."

You wish you had never introduced them. You wish you had never met her. It would have made life so much easier.

You hesitantly brush Shane's hair from his forehead, jerking your fingers away when you feel heat. You furrow your eyebrows, noticing he is shivering and gripping the sheets violently. Frowning, you go to get off the bed in order to get a wet cloth or something, when you notice a deep red staining his tank top. Your eyes widen and you immediately go to touch the wetness.

When you pull your hand back, blood is on your fingers.

You put your hand back and gently pull back the shirt. He winces in his sleep as he trembles with fever. You gasp quietly at what you see. A thick cut starting from his upper back and extending to his lower stomach. There is some shoddy bandaging but an infection is growing. You can see the pus and the bright red skin around the deep gash. "What the hell did you do to yourself?" you blurt out under your breath before putting your hand to his forehead again.

You flinch at the extreme hotness and you grab your phone. You immediately dial 911. "Hello. How-" the operator starts but you cut her off.

"Yeah, hi. Um, I'm at my house and my…Shane has a huge cut on himself I don't even know how he got it. But it looks like the way he tried to cure it just ended up giving him an infection and it's swelling. He has a huge fever and he's bleeding profusely. Do I take him to the hospital?" you say, trying to stay calm. You put the sheets up against the cut, putting pressure on it to limit the bleeding.

At the same time, Shane manages to open his eyes.

xxx

"He needed stitches. He's fine now, but he will need to take this medicine ever day…" the doctor trails off, looking at you critically suddenly. "I'm sorry. How are you in relation to the patient?" he asks pointedly.

You roll your eyes. "I'm his wife." You provide, trying to get him to talk to you. "Is he going to be okay?" you ask quickly, looking at your watch. You still have about an hour before Jamie needs to be picked up. "What medicine does he have to take? How did he get this? When did he get this?" you question swiftly and the doctor gives you another look.

"You're his wife, and you don't know this?" he flicks his clipboard suspiciously.

You set your jaw. "I've been away for a while. Now, can you answer my questions?" you tell him in a harsh voice. "Because I need to pick up my godson in about an hour from school, so I would really appreciate it if you would just tell me what's going on." Putting your hands on your hips, you fix him with a strong glare.

The doctor sighs. "I do not know how he got this, but I would say he got the cut about a week ago. He has bruises all along his body. Maybe he got into a fight he didn't want you to know about or an accident or something. I do not know. All I know is that he has a huge gash he thought he could just wrap a bandage around with some Neosporin and it would be okay. Obviously, it's not. Fortunately, you found out soon enough that he doesn't have to have surgery or anything. Just pills." He shakes the bottle before giving it to you. "And for him to not do anything strenuous, understand? Keep him calm. No jumping, playing basketball, picking up that godson you mentioned. Just taking it easy."

You nod softly, your mind somewhere else. The doctor tells you to follow him to get to Shane's room, but you can hardly hear.

A week ago was Caitlyn and Nate's accident.

XXX

Whoa, huh? What's all this about?!

Haha, any thoughts, ideas or conspiracies, put them in a review. I respond to everyone on my blog, even the ones that are simple. But! The longer ones or the ones that hit on what I want to be hit on, always get a little hint. So review! Tell me, do you still think Shane is innocent? Still think Mitchie should forgive him? Are they cut out to be parents? They totally forgot about school - I thought that was cute haha oh! Did you like the sexual tension? The rating will go up soon.

Next chapter at 98-ish. I know you guys are reading, so review! Please?

Oh, btw, just know finals are coming up and those are important, but hey, reviews encourage me. So the more reviews, dare I say more than what I'm asking, the quicker I post. Please review!

Love ya, Sandy

Also, as some of you know, my blog is amazing with this story. I put sneak peaks, review responses, lyrics and other stuff. Read?

Another also, thanks to Cate! You should all thank her haha, she's helped me a lot :D