A/N – Thank you guys for your awesome reviews. I really enjoyed everyone's thoughts on what was going on and what was going to happen. There was a lot of concern for Jasper and the horse. I just want you to know that no horses (or Jasper) were hurt in the writing of this chapter. Side note, this chapter started out being super long at 20+ thousand words so I broke it down into 3 chapters, so if these seem a bit shorter than normal, now you know…so on to the story….
Disclaimer…I do not own anything other than my interpretations and any random OCs that I decide to toss in the mix
When all of your flaws and all of my flaws
Are laid out one by one
A wonderful part of the mess that we made
We pick ourselves undone
All of your flaws and all of my flaws
They lie there hand in hand
Ones we've inherited, ones that we learned
They pass from man to man
There's a hole in my soul
I can't fill it I can't fill it
There's a hole in my soul
Can you fill it? Can you fill it?
You have always worn your flaws upon your sleeve
And I have always buried them deep beneath the ground
Dig them up; let's finish what we've started
Dig them up, so nothing's left unturned
Jasper – Can we get a move on please? I am really tired of staring down this damn horse.
Bella – Hey, be nice to my horse. I bet he's tired of staring at you too.
Me – Would you two chill out. You haven't seen each other for ten years so stop fighting.
Jasper – Tell that to the one trying to run me down with a horse.
Bella – I wouldn't be doing that if you weren't stalking me.
Me – Ok, you two, separate corners. Now or else I won't continue the story. And apologize.
Jasper – Yes, ma'am. Sorry, Bella, everyone. (moves to his corner, pouting.)
Bella – Sorry, Rahvin, readers. (grimaces at my glare before darting to her corner) Sorry Jasper.
Me – That's more like it. Now if you two are finished, on with the story…
My last thought before she was upon me was 'What the hell did I do to piss her off?' and then I was nose to nose with the giant stallion.
BPOV
From my perch on the stable's rooftop, I watched as the sunrise started to fill the courtyard outside of the castle. This was honestly my favorite time of the day as well as my favorite place in Volterra. Don't get me wrong, Volterra was beautiful in a creepy kind of way, but the stable was my solace as I was the only one who used them. Apparently I was the first resident of the castle that loved horses. That is why this was my safe haven; most of the vampires around here did not feel comfortable around my horse so they stayed away. Only a few would venture here and that was normally just to find me.
I do have to admit, my horse was rather large and domineering. It took me a while before I found the perfect horse for me. He was two years old when I found him and it was love at first sight. Demetri had taken me out to Messina just to placate me and my want for a horse as he knew I wouldn't leave him alone until I got one. The stallion was a rare find as one does not normally find Clydesdales in Italy. As Demetri went to speak with the rancher, I walked to the paddock that was setup and watched as the two horses there grazed and ran in the sun. One was a beautiful butterscotch colored mare with a blonde mane and tail. The other was a stallion and he took my breath away. He was jet black on his body with pure white boots, with a black mane and tail. What got my attention with him was the white blaze down the center of his face. Just watching them gave me a thrill as I knew how strong and big these beautiful beasts would get.
I leaned against the railing of the paddock and watched as they played, then the stallion stopped and I watched him put his nose up in the air, smelling his surroundings. As I watched he turned his head and I found myself staring into the most beautiful crystal blue eyes I had ever seen. He smelled the air again and then charged at me with a whinny, stopping only when he was mere inches from my face. Already he was a tall horse and he could have easily put his head over mine, but stopped so he could lean down and look into my eyes. Within moments he had nudged my shoulder playfully and began prancing around in front of me.
Demetri had been watching all of this and worked out a deal with the rancher. Two days later I impatiently waited as he was delivered to the castle. Ever since then, as long as I wasn't away on a mission, I spent every morning with him. If I needed to think or to get away from the castle, I would go and lean against his side as he slept. If I could have slept, I knew he would keep me safe. I knew part of my love for my horse was that it helped me feel closer to the man I left behind, my cowboy.
Rousing myself from my memories, I jumped down from the roof and walked into the stable. A whinny greeted me from the back stall and a smile crept across my face.
"I know, boy. I'm happy to see you too." I stroked his nose as I stopped in front of his stall. "Let me change and we will head out."
I headed to the back room where I always stored a spare riding outfit for times like this. There was no way I was going to run to my room to change; I really didn't want to talk to anyone right now, not after everything I had heard while on that roof. Most everyone had spent the night with their balcony doors open or out on their balconies. I didn't need to hear the conversations to know what everyone was talking about. Me. Carlisle and Esme were both talking about how shocked they were to find me here and alive. Carlisle, of course, wanted to sit down and talk to me about my time here and my change, the doctor in him couldn't be held back. Esme, my dear mother, just wanted to make sure I was ok. If I was being honest with myself, if anyone was to actually be able to see me from their balconies, I would have wanted it to be Esme. I really needed an Esme hug and I was almost tempted to sneak up to her balcony to get one. Then I reminded myself that she was sharing a room with the rest of the family and that was not something I could deal with right now. So I shut out their conversations as I didn't want to hear them discussing me anymore. I also had to admit to myself that I didn't want to hear what Jasper and Alice might be saying about me.
Coming out of my thoughts, I opened the locker and pulled out my clothes and boots. Quickly shedding my guard clothes, I pulled on my jeans and tucked them into my riding boots that hugged my calves. Next I pulled on a white camisole and topped it off with a blood red button down shirt that I left unbuttoned. Walking back out to the stall I rolled the sleeves up to my elbows and sighed in pleasure. This part of my day always made me feel closer to being whole.
Going up to the stall I opened the door and walked to the front of the stable where the tack was kept. Looking over the saddle I decided that I wanted to feel his muscles move as I let him race out to the country. Grabbing his halter off the wall I was about to turn around when I felt him nudge my shoulder. Turning I looked up into his violet eyes and had to laugh, who would have ever expected me to one, be a vampire and two, have such an amazing horse? I shook my head as I had an answer for both of those questions and it was the same answer too.
"Ready to go?" I asked as he leaned down for me to put the halter on. "Alright, let's go be free."
He started to walk past me and I swung up onto his back as we walked out of the stable into the courtyard. Without thinking I pulled my shield in tight around me as we walked through the courtyard to exit the castle grounds. Looking down at my arms as we moved, I saw how my skin no longer gave off the appearance of being made of diamonds and I sighed. I was happy that I was able to hide the shine, but I really just wanted to be able to just be me, without hiding my powers or emotions or my skin. I couldn't remember the last time I could completely let my guard down.
Having gone on this ride most every morning for the past eight years, I didn't have to worry about directing him out of the castle grounds. As we neared the trees I urged him faster, for some reason this morning I was more anxious to get away than normal so I was allowing my fear of rejection to guide my actions. Not wanting to think of why I was running away, I let myself flow with the movements of the horse beneath me. Soon we were exiting out the other side of the trees and I turned him so we were heading west along the tree line. This morning I needed to feel completely free so I was planning on letting him use all of his strength this morning to carry us away from the turmoil in the castle behind us.
A soft chuff reached my ears, drawing my attention back to my as he stopped at the top of a small hill, pawing at the ground in slight agitation. Looking around I didn't see anything at first that would have caused him to stop, but then I sensed anticipation and longing coming from the trees up ahead. Focusing on the feelings I finally saw him, his golden eyes fixed on mine. Seeing him standing there shocked me and I completely forgot to shield my emotions. It had been so long since I allowed myself to think about him that having him standing there caused me to have an emotional overload. Immediately the pull started in my chest and I barely kept myself from reaching up to rub the spot over where my dead heart lay.
I saw the confusion and surprise flit across his face as he realized I could see him and a sense of happiness and longing floated over to me as he walked out of the cover of the trees. He stopped about ten feet out and put his hands in his pockets and stared at me, waiting to see what I was going to do. Looking at him, standing there, sparkling in the sun, I wondered if Jake had been able to give him my letter. I shook my head at the ramblings that I wrote in that letter and hoped that he hadn't read it. I knew he was with Alice and he wasn't mine regardless of what my heart told me. I can only imagine the strain that letter would have put on his relationship with her and the thought that I had done anything to cause him pain filled me with sorrow and regret. To protect myself from the pain, I shut down my emotions and my ability to feel his.
I knew we were going to have to talk and it appeared that he was going to stand there and wait until I gave in so tucking away the wariness of the upcoming talk; I took a deep breath before leaning forward to whisper in the stallion's ear. His ears flattened and he pawed the ground again before charging right for Jasper. I did take a second to notice the shock on his face as I charged right for him. At the last possible second, I nudged his flank to veer to the right, leaned down and hooked my arm through Jasper's, swinging him up behind me. Fighting the urge to lean into him as he wrapped his arms around my waist, I guided us across the field and into the surrounding trees. Closing my eyes, I let my stallion pick his own way to our normal destination, opening myself up to Jasper again and just felt the emotions floating around me…until they were cut off that is. Why was he blocking me?
Deciding then that the ride was best done in silence, I opened my eyes and focused on the scenery passing us by until we reached the little clearing that I spent most of my mornings in. As we broke out of the trees, I slowed us down until we came up to the little spring fed pond on the other side of the clearing. I swung my leg over my horse's neck before he had come to a stop and slid down his flank with ease, leaving a baffled Jasper still astride my horse. A whinny reminded me that someone was not used to anyone but me riding him.
I reached up to pull the reins down over my horse's head to rest on the grass and pulled a few mints out of my pocket. Unwrapping them, I held my palm out with his treat. Reaching up I rubbed his nose affectionately as I heard him crunch on the mints. Leaning forward, I placed a kiss between his eyes. Pausing to rest my forehead on his, I relished the unconditional love that flowed from my horse, reminding me just how lucky I am to have found him.
"I had not pegged you for a horse lover." Jasper stated as he slid to the ground. Reaching up, he rubbed the powerful neck and ran his fingers through the dark mane. "Aren't these horses usually working breeds?"
"Well, I have always loved horses, but Rene and Charlie figured I would kill myself on one with my clumsiness so I was never allowed to ride before." I walked around to his other flank, putting him between me and Jasper, and leaned back on him as he grazed. Staring into the pond, I thought back to the days when I got my horse. "Getting a horse was something I talked about as soon as I was turned. Much to everyone's annoyance, Aro said I could get one. From that moment on, all I did was beg and plead with Demetri to take me out to find me a horse. Finally, he took me to a little place outside of Messina as I was very specific on what I wanted. Demetri had found two Clydesdale colts and we made the drive so I could look at them."
I turned around to look at Jasper over my horse's back, pure joy on my face and seeping through my shield as I let it drop. Out here I didn't have to hide who or what I was and it was just natural for me to drop my shields without any thinking once I got here. "I watched them play for a bit, and Major here picked me. Charged right at me only to stop and stare in my eyes. He was a big horse then, but I knew I had found my friend when he nudged me and started prancing around. Ever since then if I am home, Major gets the majority of my attention, much to Demetri's annoyance."
"You named your horse Major?" Jasper looked at me with a smirk on his face. The beginnings of a cocky grin started to form as he stared at me.
"Yes, it just seemed to fit." I wasn't going to tell him the real reason was because it felt more like a connection to him if I gave my horse a part of his name, the more he knew about my attachment to him as my mate the harder the rejection would be to recover from. I turned to walk to the edge of the pond and sat down. I wasn't sure what Jasper wanted and I needed him to be the first to speak so I could gauge what I would allow myself to say. He was my mate, but he was with Alice and I didn't want to cause him pain by coming between them, so I had to tread carefully. This was not about baring my soul to him, it was about answering his questions and that was it.
"So, you are Volturi." Jasper commented as he sat down beside me. "How?"
"Well that is a hard question to answer." I took a deep breath and put my shields back in place, this was not the time for him to be able to read my emotions as I knew I wouldn't be able to control them around him. " It has two answers really. First, Demetri found me one day in Seattle. I needed a break from everything that reminded me of all of you, so I spent a day out in Seattle. I was sitting in a coffee shop when suddenly this way too handsome man sat down in front of me. Demetri finds it funny that I groaned when I saw him. I mean, I was trying to get away from those memories and what happens? I manage to run into a new vampire. Just my luck right? Wrong. Somehow the Volturi knew about me, that I knew about vampires and was left human. Demetri had been sent to keep an eye on me and to take me if he could get me alone.
"That's what happened that day in Seattle. He explained everything that was going to happen, that I had to go before the kings and they would decide my fate. Even he didn't know the real reason why he had been sent to find me or so he told me, I didn't find out until after I was changed. But at that time I understood how the laws worked thanks to Edward and told him I would go with him, I wouldn't fight. I just needed a day to settle some things back home and then I would leave with him. He asked me why I was so accepting of what was to happen and I told him what had happened with Edward and everything I went through after you all left. He was furious by the time I finished my story and he agreed to meet me in Seattle the following day to take me to Italy. I promised him I would be there and left to go home for the last time. I didn't sleep at all that night, just sat and listened to Charlie snore in his room, packed a few things and wrote two letters. Well only one really and a short note I put on the fridge for Charlie. I knew he only needed the short and sweet good-bye from me as nothing I could say would have made it any better for him."
Jasper placed a hand on my shoulder, causing me to jerk back at the unexpected touch. "I saw the note you left him."
"You did? When? Wait, why were you in my house?" The questions spewed forth as I tried to process what he was saying. I couldn't understand why he would have been there. Demetri had told me that the Cullens never went back to Forks after they left.
Jasper turned to me and looked deep into my eyes. "I should be the one with all the questions, you know, but I will answer yours first. Just promise me you will answer mine."
I nodded, knowing that I truly couldn't deny this man anything. I sighed knowing how much Jasper could end up hurting me if he stayed with Alice. Even knowing that was possible, I couldn't bear the thought of not being around him ever again. "I am an open book to you Jasper, always have been."
He looked at me quizzically before reaching over and taking my hand in his. That moment was when I was really grateful that my powers were at my control, not me at theirs. I didn't want to invade his mind unless he invited me in as he would know the instant I did, the thoughts would flash through his mind as I read them. Reading his emotions was enough of an invasion for now, which he was still keeping them blocked from me. The only reason for doing so that I could think of is to keep him from projecting his feelings onto me.
"Now that answer needs some explaining." Looking down at our hands, he took a deep breath. "Well, the time I spent in Denali with the Cullens after Edward made us leave, yeah that time was hell for me. Once we got there, I started worrying about you and I tried to block it at first. I didn't want to be the one to cause any problems with the family or feed into the paranoia that Edward and Alice were feeding them about me. As the time went on, my worry started to turn into full on fear for you and regret that I allowed a spoiled brat give me orders. It all came to a head about a year after we left; I finally blew up and left. Packed my clothes, gave Em my Harley and just left. When I got to Forks, I went to your house, just to make sure you were ok, but to my utter amazement you weren't there.
"I broke in and checked your room, but I could tell that you hadn't been there for months. I checked for signs in the rest of the house that might tell me where you were and I saw the note on the fridge that you left for Charlie. I knew something bad had happened and that is when Jacob found me. I went outside and we talked, he told me about the time after we left and how it had affected you. Then he gave me this." Jasper reached into his back pocket and pulled out the envelope with his name on it.
I gasped. "You still have it?"
Without looking at me, he nodded. "It helped me to feel closer to you, like you were still alive."
"Did you read it?" I held my breath, unsure of what I really wanted his response to be.
"So many times that I have it memorized." He chuckled softly. "Pathetic right?"
"I don't think so." I looked out into the water, thinking about what that could mean. "I knew somehow that you would be the one to finally go looking for me. It took me an hour to write that letter to you."
"Did you mean what you wrote?" He asked, barely loud enough for my ears to pick up.
"I…" I looked at him then and found myself staring into his golden eyes. I could feel his worry and hesitation tinged with a bit of hope. I had promised to be an open book and I would not lie to this man who sat beside me. "Yes, I meant all of it. I didn't think before I wrote it otherwise I might not have written half of what I did. I'm sorry if what I said in that letter put any strain on your relationship with Alice. It was not my intention to come between you."
"So what you were hinting at is true?" He looked deep into my violet eyes, his look guarded.
"I was trying not to put any hints into that letter actually. My soul searching at that point should only have affected me. I'm sorry if it caused you any problems." I looked away from his eyes before I could see any answering pain or rejection reflected in them. I may understand how things were going to work out, but that didn't mean that it was going to be easy for me to accept. If he rejected me I would forever be subjected to this mating pull if he was close.
"Bella."
I shook my head. I couldn't help it. The fear of his rejection kept me staring at our hands.
"Bells, please look at me." He begged.
I had to look up as I had never heard Jasper beg before. I gasped at what I saw there.
Jasper dropped his block and let me feel his emotions, while keeping me trapped in his eyes. Hope, sorrow, relief, excitement, fear and love all flowed over me as I stayed transfixed by the pure adoration I saw in his eyes.
A little doubt managed to creep into my joy. "What about Alice?"
Annoyance crept into his emotions and I flinched. He smiled sadly at me when he saw it. "Bells, I left Alice when I left the Cullens. She left you behind too willingly and always stood up for Edward when I would argue with him about going back to check on you. She started distancing herself from me and I from her. We were divorced within a week of my reading your letter. Now answer my question."
"I…" I faltered. Could this really be happening? Was he really mine? "Yes, if you mean that I learned who my true mate was and that it's you."
"I have waited so long to find you." Jasper growled as he pulled me forward by the hand he still held. Settling me in his lap he cupped my face as he stared into my eyes. "I don't know why I had to wait so long for you, but now you're mine."
My shields dropped completely and I let my hope and love flow from me to surround us like a blanket as he leaned forward to place his lips on mine. I could feel the love he was feeling for me and I raised my arms to tangle my hands in his hair. Sitting there with him, I felt complete, I felt like I was finally home. I sighed with contentment.
Jasper took advantage of my sigh and deepened the kiss, exploring my mouth with his tongue. He growled low in his throat as I fought for dominance of the kiss and he let me win.
I moved closer in his embrace, pressing our bodies together as I explored his mouth. A growl escaped me as I welcomed the heat that only this man could create in my cold body. I was lost in this man and I honestly hoped to never be found. A whinny caught my attention though, causing me to pull back from the kiss. Looking around, I reached out with my senses and I could sense four vampires headed in our direction.
"Merda!" I growled. I placed a quick kiss on Jasper's confused face before disentangling myself from his lap. Standing I held out my hand to help him up.
Still confused, Jasper took my hand and was shocked at how quickly I pulled him up. "What's wrong?"
"We will have company in about a minute. Apparently the Cullens are out for a hunt. Or they are looking for us; if they are looking for us, I plan on not being here to be found as I'm not ready to give up our time. Major!" I called out.
Major turned his head from the oncoming company and trotted over to us.
Picking up the reins, I moved them over his head as I swung up on his back. I held out my hand again, this time asking him to join me on Major's back. "I believe I have more questions to answer."
Jasper smirked at me as he took my hand and swung up behind me. "Among other things."
Laughing, I leaned forward to whisper in Major's ear. "Alright, now is the time to show off what you are made of. Eseguire!"
"What did you just tell him?" Jasper whispered into my ear sending a shiver down my spine.
"Oh, cowboy, you better hold on tight. Major here is not your typical horse. I told him to run and run he will." I nudged Major's flanks and that was all he needed. He bolted for the other end of the clearing and we were just disappearing into the trees as the others came out the other side. I caught sight of a shocked Carlisle before the trees blocked our view.
Having Jasper pressed up against my back, I pulled us so we were leaning low over Major's neck. With another nudge, I reinforced the command. "Eseguire!"
Major picked his way through the trees until he found his way out of the patch of forest we were in. Coming out onto a clearing he gave in to the command and let his unnatural strength propel us across the field in seconds. Within minutes, we were miles away from Volterra and he had taken us to a quiet, secluded place at the base of the mountain range that could be seen from the castle. He slowed down as he neared a little area surrounded by trees.
As soon as Major came to a stop, I threw my leg over his neck and dismounted. Again leaving a very baffled Jasper still astride him. "Major, il mio carissimo amico, thank you for getting us out of there."
Jasper slid off his back and stared at me. "How in the hell did he do that?"
I laughed and took his hand, pulling him to a shaded spot and sat down. "I told you Major is a special horse. Without my knowledge, Aro decided that if I was to have a horse, this horse was going to be special like me and he spent a year giving him small doses of his venom. Not to make him anything other than a long living, intelligent and strong horse. Major seems to fully understand when I talk to him and as you just witnessed, he is incredibly fast just like us. Although I can still outrun him, but I am faster than most other vampires here. I have noticed that he does seem to have a rather strong protective drive when it comes to me."
"He...he is completely out of his mind." Jasper gasped out, sitting down beside me and looking over at where Major was grazing. His thoughts were clear to see as he tried to process what he just learned. "Did he have any idea what was going to happen?"
"Yes, he had done that before when he was first changed, before he became the king he is today. His horse lived for over a hundred years before it was killed." I smiled fondly as Major turned his head to look at me. "At first I was angry with Aro for risking his life like that, but now I'm just glad that I won't have to lose him any time soon. Other than Demetri, Major has been my only friend here. Well, until I gathered my guard that is."
"Ok, Bells, I think you have a bit more explaining to do. I promise I won't interrupt. Just start up where you left off the last time I interrupted." Jasper kept my hand in his and waited.
I took a deep breath, knowing this is where everything was going to get a little tricky. He was going to get the truth, but I still feared that it would be too much for him. Looking into his eyes, I continued where I left off. "Well, as I said I wrote those two letters that night. I left the one for Charlie under his coffee cup so he would find it when he came home from work for lunch. Then I packed my stuff in my truck and drove to the rez to find Jake. It took a few hours to convince him to take the letter and to keep an eye on Charlie. He might have known something was up, but I didn't stick around to find out. As soon as I had his promises, I left, saying I had to get back to the house to have lunch ready for Charlie. It broke my heart to lie to him after all he had done for me, but I knew it was safer that way.
"I met up with Demetri in Seattle as promised. He hid my truck and took me to the airport where a private jet was waiting for us. I slept most of the way to Italy due to the sleepless night I had had the night before. When we landed, he took me to the waiting car and that's when I met Felix. He reminded me so much of Emmett that I almost started to cry I missed him so much, confusing the hell out of them. Now they understand but back then they were clueless. Upon arriving in Volterra they took me straight to Aro's study where the kings were waiting for me. It was a very quick meeting. Aro asked me simply if I wanted to die or if I was willing to be changed. Even though I was expecting it, I was still shocked at how easily he asked the question. It amazed even me the lack of fear I felt standing there in front of them.
"Well you know that I wanted to be one of you, so that was an easy answer for me, even after the crap that Edward put me through. I still had hopes of spending eternity with my family and tolerating the controlling duo if need be. So I answered Aro with the truth, but I asked for conditions. Shocked him with my demands as he put it, but he ended up agreeing to my demands in the end. I found out two years later why he was so willing to make that deal with me." I paused to gather my thoughts, this is where it was going to get a little tricky.
"Ok, so I promised I wouldn't interrupt, but I get the feeling that you might not tell me the deal and I would really like to know what you asked for." Jasper asked as he lightly traced his fingers over the back of my hand, causing shivers to go up my arm.
I smiled at him. "Open book remember? I will tell you anything. Well, the deal was quite simple. I wanted to wait until I was twenty before I was changed, I wanted Aro to change me and I wanted to be the one to deal with the Cullens in regards to their treatment of me."
"Wait, I know I said I would stop interrupting, but I can't seem to help it. Was there a reason that you wanted to wait until you were twenty?" Jasper asked as he stared into my eyes.
I blushed, or I would have if I was still human. "I had hoped you wouldn't notice that. A lot of my decisions have been based on that soul searching I did and so did my age request. Partially I wanted a little bit more time as a human, but on the off chance that I got what I wanted, well I wanted to be the same age as my mate at the time of my change."
Jasper gasped at my confession. "How did you know how old I was when I turned?"
"I had been curious about it when I was initially talking about it with Edward after I had learned how old he had been when Carlisle changed him. He told me how old everyone was when they turned. I didn't remember anyone's age other than yours and Edward's. As I had hoped that one day I would at least be around you again, twenty just seemed like the right age to be." I ducked my head, embarrassed at my answer, not sure what he thought about the reasoning behind my choice.
"I… I don't know what to say." He paused as he thought about what I did for him. "Bella that is not what I expected. Then again, you seem to relish in amazing me at every turn still. My only response is to say thank you, that is such a small thing, but the fact that you were thinking of me when you made that decision, it means a lot." He leaned forward and captured my mouth with his, expressing his love for me in a tender kiss.
I pulled back with a smile. "Let me finish this before we get interrupted again. Now, as I was saying, Aro had already told me that the Cullens were going to have to be punished and I wanted to be in charge of that as I was the one that had been mistreated. I knew he would dole out something too harsh for the whole family when only one or two really deserved it. He agreed to my request as long as I promised to stay in Volterra for ten years and spend the last eight as part of his guard. He put that in there as he knew that I was going to be powerful and he told me so upfront. I was taken aback as he was not the Aro I had been told about by Edward and I found it very easy to admire Aro and his thinking. I agreed to his terms and he assigned Demetri to take care of me. He was to train me in everything that I would need to know to live in Volterra as well as to prepare me for my change.
"Demetri never left my side during those first two years, but if he had to leave for some reason then he had Felix work with me. Those two have become like big brothers to me and I really don't know how I would have gotten through those first years without them. Demetri more so. I was drawn to him and it took my turning to find out why, although he doesn't know and I am not sure if I should tell him or not." I saw the look on Jasper's face and placed a finger to his lips. "Don't ask, cowboy, I promise I will get to that later. Now, for those of the Volturi, Demetri is the only one I don't keep secrets from, I never have. I needed to have someone I could trust here and he was that for me.
"When it came time for my change, Aro explained everything that was going to happen and he promised that he would stay by my side the whole time and Demetri would as well. He wanted me to know that I wouldn't be left alone to go through the change on my own. I won't lie, it burned like the fiery pits of hell, but they each held my hand through the thirty six hours of my change. That is why I wanted Aro to change me, I figured with him having been a vampire for so long, his venom may have been more potent so would speed up the change. I was partially correct, but that wasn't the real reason that it went by so fast. As Aro explained afterwards, it had more to do with my lineage than his venom."
I turned to face Jasper and took both of his hands in mine. This is where it could get tricky and I wanted him to understand that I would accept his reaction no matter what. "I…I know that you may not like everything that has happened to me or what I have done over the past ten years. I have come to accept my lot in this life and I will also accept it if you are unable to accept certain things. I only ask that you listen to everything I have to say and you can make your decision when I'm done. Alright?"
"Bella, if there is anything I have learned over these last ten years is that I have a lot of patience and when it comes to you a very accepting nature." He leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on my forehead. "I will do as you ask and listen, but I already know what my decision will be."
He was staring so intently into my eyes and sharing his love for me. It almost made me believe that we would get through this without any issues, but I knew better than to give myself false hope, so I was just going to get this all out in the open and then accept whatever he told me afterwards.
"Mio amore, I hope that you can be accepting as I have waited for you for too long." I took a deep breath before going on with my story. This is where most would run for cover, I know Demetri almost did. "Well, after my change, I was of course treated to my first meal. Which I will admit this to you now, but I'm sure you could guess by my eyes, well if I am hungry that is, I'm not like you. I feed on humans, but I only do that with the knowledge that they were criminals already on their way to death row or they were caught in the act of their crime. I refuse to take an innocent's life, ever.
"So, once that was completed, Demetri took me to Aro's study as he had said there were a few things he needed to go over with me before I could get into my actual training with Demetri. This was, amazingly, the first time I had ever been alone with Aro and I was wary of what he wanted. Don't get me wrong, I knew he didn't want me in any sexual way; it was just unsettling the way he stared at me that night. It was almost like he was unsure of how to handle me as a vampire. He then did what I wasn't expecting, he told me about his life before his change and everything that had happened to him since then up to thirty years ago.
"He sat me down on the couch and sat with me, taking my hands in his, as he then told me that I was his daughter and not just because he was my sire. He told me that he had met Rene on a random trip through the Americas as he was supposed to be checking up on the southern vampires. Well, one thing led to another and Rene ended up pregnant with me. He knew that she was with Charlie as Rene cannot keep a secret to save her life, or so I thought, but they had been separated for a few months due to marital problems. Using that as their cover, he had her tell Charlie that she was pregnant with his child and that she wanted to get back together with him.
"The timing worked out as only months later, I was born. Aro kept an eye on me through Demetri. He sent him to check up on me a couple times a year to make sure that I was growing as a normal human child would and if he saw anything that would show my vampire parentage, then he was to bring me to Aro. As you well know, I was never brought here until after that debacle with Edward. Apparently something in my genes stopped me from growing like a hybrid, but I did pick up a few of Aro's traits, which I haven't even shared with him yet. I think I will have to, but I have spent eight years hiding it so it will be a touchy subject I'm sure.
"Well, I will go over that at the end. So after he explained everything, he had Demetri come in to confirm his part in watching over me, I did my best to believe them. I really did as what he had told me explained so much about my life before I met you guys. It was during a training session with Demetri where I sort of broke down. I had been thinking about how I wanted to know everything for sure and it was at that point that I learned I had Aro's gift. Demetri was holding my hand for comfort and suddenly I was seeing every thought that had ever passed through his mind. That was a lot to take in, seeing the thoughts of someone who had been alive for over a thousand years. After we both got over the shock of what happened, I needed to know if it was like Aro's where it automatically happened upon touching their skin. So I set out to find Felix and used him as my guinea pig. Needless to say I was quite happy to learn that I had to make a conscious effort to read someone's thoughts." I watched his face for any reaction to this gift but he just sat there waiting for me to continue.
"If it hadn't turned out that way, I'm sure everyone would have known about that gift by now. Although, even now I can't call that a gift." I paused, seeing the confused look on his face. "Ok, let me try to clear this up before I move on. It may appear that I have multiple gifts; I personally only think that I have three, but Peter tells me it's more like four."
Jasper growled low in his throat at the mention of Peter's name.
"Stop that. Only Peter can fully explain to you how he ended up in Italy, but as Aro said, they are not part of the Volturi guard, they are mine, just like Thorne, but we will get to him later. I will explain all of that later, let me get through this whole gifts mess and then you can have a chance to ask some questions." I took a deep breath and continued before he could comment. "Now, as you all had thought way back when, I am a shield. There are two parts to my shield, both mental and physical. That is where Peter and I disagree, he says its two, I say it's one with two sides. Either way, you saw both in action yesterday. Edward bounced off the barrier I put up to protect Aro and I kept the minds and emotions hidden of everyone in my guard."
"Quick question, sorry. I know you said to wait." He grinned sheepishly at my nod to continue. "So this physical shield, can it block your scent or your skin from sparkling in the sun?"
I looked at him, amazed that he picked up on that so quickly. "Yes, that's why no one knew it was me standing there, or Peter and Char, until I dropped my hood. How did you know about the skin thing?"
Jasper shook his head, looking dazed with an informational overload. "I saw you ride yesterday morning. I didn't know it was you though; Jane was there, she said that Isa rode at the same time every morning. I had no idea it was you, I just thought it was a human that could really handle a horse. Why does she call you Isa?"
I laughed. "Aro has tried to get everyone to call me Isabella, which you know I don't like that name, and would not acknowledge anything that had to do with me if someone called me Bella instead. So my guard took to calling me Isa to find a middle ground between us. Demetri, Peter and Char are the only ones here that call me Bella anymore."
Jasper smiled at me. "You seem to have the ability to get normally irritable vampires to like you. Jane doesn't like anyone except for her brother and Aro, yet when she talks about you, she smiles and appears to be genuinely happy. Final question and then you can continue. What do you want me to call you?"
"I…ah…" I stammered. "Whatever you want to I guess. I hadn't really thought about it."
"Well, I have an idea." Jasper smiled as he pulled me onto his lap. "How about mine?"
All translations below are Italian as they were in the prior chapter. If another language pops up later I will let you know.
Eseguire – Run
Il mio carissimo amico – My dearest friend
A/N – Ok, so what do you guys think of what has happened so far? I am not sure what Jasper will end up calling Bella…he seems to like to use all the variations of her name. If you want to give any input or ideas…review review review. Also, I decided to see what the response would be so there is now a page on FB for this fic. If you search for Bella & Jasper – Love Under a Blood Moon, you should find it. There will be updates, might do polls, you can offer suggestions, maybe request scenes. I'm not sure yet. The FB page is open for suggestions on what all will be done with it. But please, go give it a like and hopefully we will get it rolling in not time…just like this story Thanks for reading and reviewing…you guys are awesome!
Oh and currently editing the next chapter so it shouldn't be long before it's posted. Also, if you are interest, I have started a new Bella/Jasper story called Darkness and it will actually have some tie ins with this one…dun dun dun
Song for this chapter – Flaws by Bastille
