Sorry this took so long. Tax season is crazy, getting caught up in back logged work is crazier...spending time with my handsome little nephew...priceless. lol.
Anyways, I'm not going to stick with the episodes 100 percent just because I can't remember them and it's just a whole lot of work to get all the lines right. Plus there's the copyright issue. So I'll stick to what I (vaguely) remember and the rest I'll wing it.
Chapter 3
From the Start
"That ain't Greylek." Fin stated as he got out of the car. He glanced at his partner who was just as stunned. They glanced at each other then back at Alex who was talking with Benson and Stabler.
"Talk about prodigal daughter," Munch teased as he and Fin got closer to the group. Alex noticed the two and smiled gently at them.
Munch noticed that the smile hadn't reached Alex's eyes completely and there was dark shadow in the young ADA's eyes. He wondered how the years away had treated her. Like crap I'm guessing, Munch thought.
"Ok kids, no need for introductions. Let's get a move on." Cragen ordered as he led Alex to the stairs of the crime scene. He noticed that his detectives were left standing in the same spot with surprise written all over their faces.
Clearing his throat, the Captain asked quietly, "Is there a problem?" His detective's blinked then realized they had been staring and got back to work. Olivia and Elliot followed Alex obediently up the steps.
They gave the former ADA a recap of what was happening with their scene. There was an awkward pause when Alex turned and finally faced them.
Olivia could see that Alex was no longer the 'Alex' of old. Something was different about her now. She still dressed the same, walked the same but something about Alex was very different to Olivia.
"You didn't even call," Elliot said accusingly. Alex swallowed visibly. Why the hell did I agree to this? She thought frantically.
She was about to reply when the coroner walked by pushing the body of Mr. Keppler. Alex was momentarily stunned by it and spaced out for a second before she remembered where she was.
Quickly blinking and giving her head a shake she inhaled sharply. "Jack didn't give me much time to make a decision. I was just told this morning."
Alex knew darn well she had side stepped the real answer. Elliot looked like his usual pissed of self and Olivia...Olivia looked like her beautiful self. There was something hiding behind those brown eyes that was not there the last time she saw her, though.
"Conner's was extradited back to Ireland three years ago," Olivia stated simply. Out of all the people she had tried not to hurt, it was Olivia she had hurt the most. Alex had always wanted to be the best for Olivia, make her proud of her. Make her lover her.
"I know." Alex said softly. Olivia could see that it was just as hard for Alex as it was for all of them. She wanted to give the younger woman the benefit of the doubt but Elliot thought differently.
"Three years. You've been back three years and not one phone call," he shrugged his massive shoulders as he spoke. What could Alex say to that? Yes, it had been three years. But those three years had been a nightmare. It was still hard at times, trying to cope with all the changes around her, inside of her.
All three were quiet knowing that there was nothing left to say about the subject. Instead, they concentrated on the crime scene before them. Olivia glanced at Alex from time to time, worried. Alex would space out every so often, each time Olivia gently cupping Alex's elbow bringing her back to the present.
The day wore on slowly. They ended up back at the station house, crowding around Olivia's desk. By the time Alex thought she had enough information to get started on the case, it had gotten late. Elliot grunted a good night and promising to have his paper work done, made his exit.
Inhaling deeply, Alex turned to face Olivia. "I'm glad something's haven't changed," she said with a smirk. Olivia smiled gently and nodded.
"Not everything's same," Liv said quietly. Alex looked at Olivia with a questioning glance. She noticed Olivia had that shadowed look once more. She wanted to ask what was wrong but she thought better of it.
I lost that right along time ago, Alex thought sadly. She looked down at her hands and begun to fidget with the cuff of her jacket, desperately thinking of something intelligent to say. Olivia watched her intently taking in the nervous movement.
Finally taking enough of the silence, Olivia reached out slowly and softly stilled Alex's fingers. She watched as the young woman swallowed nervously and took a steady breath before piercing her with the bluest pair of eyes Liv had ever seen.
Inhaling sharply at the sight of those eyes, Olivia cleared her throat. "It's getting late," Liv said softly. Alex nodded mutely. Liv almost wept when Alex gently pulled her hands from Olivia's soft grasp.
Olivia sighed inwardly. She pushed herself up and begun to clean up her own desk, shuffling and re-shuffling the papers that were scattered across her desk. With that task done, both women stood awkwardly for a moment.
"Well then…I think I've got enough to keep myself busy through my weekend. What about you?" Alex asked clumsily. She stood gripping her attaché case as if it would protect her from the onslaught of emotions that were going to come.
Olivia nodded as she stuffed her hands into her pocket. "Uh, yeah. I've got a full calendar ahead of me."
Again, they stood in silence. They looked everywhere but at each other until Olivia couldn't take the quiet anymore.
"Well, I better get going. Did you need a ride home?" Olivia asked nervously. Alex fought the disappointment that bubbled inside her.
Shaking her head Alex smiled shyly. "No, thank you. I'm, I'm good. Goodnight…Liv." Alex's voice trembled slightly as she spoke the nickname Olivia designated only for those in her inner circle.
Olivia felt a tremor at the sound of her name coming from Alex's lips. She had to steady herself by casually leaning against her desk. She gave Alex her trademark smile and watched as the young ADA blushed and slowly turned towards the door.
Olivia watched her. She noticed Alex's slightly slumped shoulders and gentle concern washed over her. It's been so long she's not used to this anymore…
"Hey," Olivia called out softly. Alex turned half way and glanced over her shoulder questioningly.
Olivia gave Alex the smile she reserved only for her. "It's good to see you again," she said very softly. She could see that her words touched Alex.
Alex smiled sadly, tears almost slipping. "It's good to see you too, Liv. Goodnight." With that, Alex turned once more and pushed open the heavy doors and disappeared down the dark corridor.
Olivia stared blankly at where Alex had just stood. She knew she shouldn't get too close again but Olivia knew that there was no use fighting it. The only problem now was what was going to happen when it was all over.
Swallowing the lump in her throat, Liv grabbed her jacket and shut off her desk lamp. Pushing open the doors, she looked back at the deserted squad room and stared sadly.
Over the years, she's questioned whether or not she should stay or leave. She didn't have anyone or anything to look forward to. If she left, she'd have nothing but the four walls of her apartment to keep her company. But if she stayed, burnout was always hanging above her.
Sighing, Liv just shook her head and walked down the empty hall. This was her life, she knew nothing else. That's not entirely true, she thought. You knew who you were when Alex was around.
Even though she had no clue as to who that person was, Olivia always knew. Alex somehow brought that out in her. She could accept what she saw in the mirror when Alex had been here. She had grown accustomed to feeling that way. She had been addicted to it.
Until Alex was shot. Then everything fell apart. She didn't care about what she saw in the mirror anymore. She had begun taking too many unnecessary risks. And nearly paying dearly for it. But slowly, she was getting back on track.
But now that Alex was back, Olivia wasn't sure how she'd be able to survive this time around. You don't have much of a choice, Liv thought sadly.
Olivia squared her shoulders as she walked out of the precinct. She'd handle this just like she handled everything else in her life.
Alone.
