Title: Artemis Fowl and the Green Lake Vigilantes

Summary: A Holes/Artemis Fowl crossover. Because I could. And it hadn't been done yet. (as far as I could tell.) Child Genius is sent to Camp Greenlake.

Disclaimer: I don't own Holes or Artemis Fowl. But Artemis, like Zigizag, is very hott. (or at least my version is) and I wish I did own both of them along with Draco Malfoy.


I finished my 'dinner' and met everyone. There were seven all together; I was number eight. The one called Zigzag still believed me to be some sort of vampire, but he had elaborated his thoughts. I was now an evil Irish vampire whom had come to steal government secrets by using the turned boys as stampede the pentagon. Yeah. That was exactly what I had come to do.

Z-ray, the obvious leader, started out of the mess hall first. All of D-tent followed, but not all happily. Artemis did not want to have to be under his jurisdiction. And he wouldn't be. He would do what he wanted, when he wanted, however he wanted. It did not include the delinquent boys. As soon as they had exited into the 'fresh' air, Artemis turned and headed back to the tent, away from the others. They all gave him puzzled looks—they had expected him to follow.

Artemis walked briskly into his tent and sat down on his bed. Well, his feeble cot. He pulled out his phone to see Butler had returned his message.

AFII

Alreaddy searfching.

B

Butler hated text messaging. His large fingers always pushed extra buttons. He had settled for whatever was understandable. Either way, the Irish boy was relieved to see that he had already started searching for someone to be his temporary bodyguard.

Butler

Good to hear it. Probably an Amer.?

AFII

He slipped his phone away just as the tent flap opened. The one named Caveman walked in. "Do you want to come hang out in the Rec. Room? There's pool, fuss ball, ping pong…" His voice trailed off, showing his obvious nervousness.

"No, I most certainly do not, Neanderthal. I prefer my own company with the few things I was allowed to bring in. If you will excuse me," Artemis lounged on his cot with a notebook. Caveman shrugged, muttered something, and walked out. Artemis grinned and looked at the paper. When it was being checked, before he was permitted to bring it, it confused the guard. His notebooks, some empty, some filled, contained equations. The guard was obviously not very bright. He let the Irish boy take them. They were Magic equations—what he would use to locate the dig site. It was the only reason he had agreed to actually getting caught.

Oh of course he knew that Minerva would turn him in. She always did such things when she wasn't included. It was why he showed her. The government, being angry and upset, sentenced him to a juvenile camp. This place. He had already decided that this was where the treasure he was looking for was. The only way to get it was to dig for it. What did these guys do every day of their lives? Dig. So he got caught, got himself sentenced to the camp, came to the camp, all because he would get away with digging and not looking suspicious. Convenient, no?

He took a deep breath and started into his work. Nothing gave him such pleasure as his work.


"I don't like him."

"We've already decided that you don't like him, Zigzag. You've already expressed your belief that he is a vampire. Anyone else?" X-ray asked.

"He's just a snot nosed brat who thinks he's better than us. I don't like him. He'll come crawlin' to us once the work gets too tough. He's probably never done a days work in his life!" Squid growled and dropped onto the old couch.

"He's just got to warm up to us, that's all. . ." Caveman said as he entered the conversation.

"Man, you're too nice! He's been nothing but rude to us, and you're just like 'he's just got to warm up to us, that's all.' I can't wait until someone just takes advantage of your niceness, and you explode," Armpit laughed and took his shot at pool.

"Well, I still give him props for hacking into the government system," Magent grinned and nodded.

"He could be a terrorist and you congratulate him? Freakin' beaner…" Squid muttered the last part but Magnet still heard him. The Mexican glared at the southern boy.

"He's Irish, not Arab. He can't be a terrorist," Armpit said, thinking he was sounding rather smart.

"Pit, you don't have to be Arab to be a terrorist. It's anyone who hates someone else and is willing to take action against them," X-ray rolled his eyes. It was wonder how some of these guys ever made it in the 'real' world.

"So do you think he's a terrorist?" Squid asked, sitting up. X-ray shook his head.

"Naw, he wouldn't be sent here if he were, would he? He would be like… in a high security prison," X-ray took Armpit's pool stick, he was getting fed up with the other boy missing his shot, and hit it for him. Two balls went right into pockets. "It's all in the wrist dude, it's all in the wrist."


t.b.p. Thanks goes to...

Miaseaofbitterness: Yes, Artemis is a snob. Just in Lost Colony, he's toned it down a bit, and this is set after LC.

-'-Blueberrys-Are-Special-'-: Thanks's for Reviewing!

Everyone else... Review!