Thanks to all those who reviewed. Mystery Hunter, I hope I manage to continue entertaining you. You were so complimentary, I really don't want to disappoint you :)

Here's Chapter 3; Harry Potter this time. It deals with a specific issue my one friend brought to my attention. Enjoy.


The Forbidden Forest. Site of the final showdown between Good and Evil; Black and White; David and Goliath; Gryffindor and Slytherin; Snake and Lion...Well, you get the picture…

Harry Potter and Voldemort stared at each other with mutual hate in their eyes. Harry had just seemingly returned from the grave after being hit by an Aveda Kedava, and Voldemort was somewhat perturbed to say the least. He stared at the Elder Wand in his hand, as if disbelieving what had just occurred, and wanting subconsciously to blame the wand. "What power is this that Potter possesses?" he mentally hissed, with superb use of alliteration, "Lord Voldemort is the only one who is allowed to cheat death! Lord Voldemort is the only one deserving such divinity! Lord Voldemort spent 30 years building up enough power to be worthy of speaking only in the 3rd person, and now, this upstart challenges Lord Voldemort?! Well, no more!"

As he raised his wand to cast yet another spell to try and finish his nemesis off once and for all, Harry started speaking, "I guess you're wondering what happened Tom, and how I survived. Allow me to explain…"

"Please don't." Voldemort interrupted "There's nothing worse than a Good Guy Monologue. Its even worse than an Evil Villain Monologue. In fact, I was planning on just killing you now, I really don't need to hear it. I could always examine your corpse later and…"

"…You see Tom," Harry continued, ignorant to his opponent's apparent distress, "You believe that Snape was the owner of the Elder Wand, as he killed Dumbledore, and that when you killed Snape, you inherited the ownership from him. However, at the time of his death, Dumbledore had already been disarmed by Draco Malfoy. This meant that Draco was now, in fact, the Elder Wand's master. And when I defeated Draco Malfoy, I therefore inherited the Wand from him. Now, if you will recall the legend of the Deathly Hallows…"

"..Can you just hold it right there?" Voldemort cut in. He had drifted off halfway through the explanation, and was now attempting to remove a hangnail using his wand, oblivious to Harry's rambling. However, he broke in once he saw Harry move to summon a chalkboard with explanatory diagrams. The speech he could ignore, but not the diagrams…oh no…"Just cut to the chase already!" he grumbled.

"…Basically, that wand will never work against me, and any spell you use will be deflected back against you. If you use it, you will die." Harry quickly summarised.

Now, Voldemort could have processed that information in any number of ways. He could have ordered a henchmen to kill Harry. He could have used his old wand. He could have beaten Harry to death with his bare hands. He could have even hurled Death Eaters at him until the sheer weight of their carcasses crushed Harry to death. However, he did not chose any of these options. We will never know whether his lack of nose had caused a diminished blood supply to his brain, but this is what he did…

Voldemort stared at Harry, blinked a couple times and said, "You make a persuasive argument Harry…But on the other hand: AVEDA KEDAVA!!!"

BOOM

Harry: 1

Voldemort: 0


Epic Fail

This is essentially what Rowling did with the plot, I do not jest.