Daring to Dream
Chapter Two
The Stength to Endure
Karna suddenly awoke the day of Karlis' wedding, sticky and hot from the stuffiness of the sleeping room in her family's home. She picked her way quietly between the straw mattresses and entered the other room. She picked up the cracked jug which sat upon the table and rinsed her face.
A long moment passed before she noticed Karlis, sitting hunched up and alone in a corner. In surprise, Karna moved toward her sister and knelt beside her, placing a gentle hand upon her shoulder. Karlis jumped visibly and turned with wild eyes to stare at her sister.
All at once, Karna saw how truly young Karlis was. When she had been younger, Karlis had been a sweet, chubby child who always laughed and giggled. She had been able to charm even the gruffest of old men. That child had grown into this beautiful fourteen-year-old young woman, but Karna now saw the child that still lurked beneath. She saw the girl who was nearly, but not quite yet, a woman.
"Why do you cry, dear one?" she asked, gently wiping away the tears. "What are you afraid of?"
Karlis stared at Karna before visibly crumbling and sobbing softly onto her sister's shoulder. In response, Karna rocked her as she once had when she was little. After a time, her sobs stilled, and Karlis looked at her oldest sister with scared red eyes.
"Oh, Karna, I know that I should be joyful for this chance, for this marriage to a man for whom I truly care … but I am afraid. I do not feel ready … I … I have never had a home of my own, and I have no experience of men …"
Gently, Karna hugged her sister, wishing that there were some way to just delay the wedding for a few months, a year maybe, to give Karlis some time to grow up. But there was none.
"Oh my sister," she said, tenderly stroking Karlis' hair, "you know that Ahoz is a good man, and he truly cares for you. You have no reason to fear. Do not cry, my dear one. Tash smiled upon you and has blessed this marriage; you shall be happy.
"Just imagine it. You shall have a home and just Ahoz to feed. There will not be seven people sleeping within one room, but just the two of you. You shall be able to feed and cook for one man, to start a family of your own. You are greatly blessed, oh my sister."
Karlis was still for a moment. Gradually the truth of Karna's words dawned upon her.
However, before she could speak, Tarneesh strode into the room. To the surprise of both sisters, he placed his hand upon Karlis' head, coming closer to a caress than he had ever before.
"Oh my daughter, this is a great day. To see you married to so worthy a man is proof of Tash's benevolence and goodness. May you prosper."
Karlis lowered her eyes, thanking her father as submissive daughter should.
Tarneesh actually smiled for a moment and nodded to her—before he glowered at Karna. "Fetch water, and hurry about it! We want none of your usual dawdling on so important a day as this."
After a hurried preparation, the bride's family was ready to accept the wedding guests for the breakfast. In view of all, Karlis received her father's blessing.
Dressed in an ornamented gown of red and gold, she looked beautiful. A simple wreath of flowers crowned her dark hair, with a gauzy veil pinned beneath them. A necklace of bronze and silver coins adorned her neck, representative of her dowry, with earrings of real silver hanging from her ears.
When the blessing finished, the bridal party left the home of Tarneesh, chanting and singing as the bride was led down the streets to the home of her husband-to-be's family. There, amongst the flowers and well wishers, Ahoz and Karlis said their vows, praying that would Tash bless their union. They were overseen by the local elders, old men respected among the local community who nodded solemnly upon the finishing of the ceremony.
Thus, Karlis was married. After the wedding dinner, the couple were led away to their new home, a couple of rooms that had been purchased within another back alley not far from the meat market, though a fifteen minute walk from her old home. When the family started departing, the goodbyes were reserved and lacked emotion, as farewells in Calormen were expected to be.
Karlis managed the farewells with the expected solemnity, but her face fell a little at the departure of her mother and sisters. Seeing this, Karna dared the wrath of her step-father and kissed her sister a final time before the wedding party departed, leaving the couple alone for the night.
When within the privacy of his own home, Tarneesh gave full vent of his anger upon Karna for her rash action.
"Had you no thought for the honour of our family, you stupid girl?" he demanded. "Do you know how blemished our honour is now, thanks to your burst of emotion, you piece of filth?"
As he advanced, she backed away, fearing the wrath that blazed in his eyes.
"I sought only to comfort her…" she began, only to be struck so hard across the face that she was knocked off her feet. Hezal and Tarlana started forward, but a single look from Tarneesh was enough to still them.
"You will speak only when you are spoken to, you bastard! I should never have taken in so ungrateful a tramp as you. Your mother has done well, bourn me four children, but what good have you ever done? No, you only consume my food, eat away at the money that I need to feed my own family. You are worthless, you have no value, and you are the spawn of a traitor." So enraged was Tarneesh that he kicked out at Karna, catching her hard against her side.
Terrified, Karna curled up, desperately trying to protect her head with her arms as he continued to kick her. In the end, Tarneesh ceased, his anger abated, and left Karna upon the floor. Without a backward look, he strode into the next room, shouting to his wife for warm water.
Only when her husband had finally been prepared for bed and was soundly asleep, did Hezal dare to approach Karna. Tenderly, she bathed her daughter's face with warm water until she regained consciousness.
Karna wept silently as her mother tended her bruises and cuts with a special cream. Utterly desolate and alone, she longed to escape from her world of worthlessness and pain.
At the feel of another's touch, she opened her eyes to find the sorrowful gaze of Tarlana watching as she gently stroked her hair. She had dared the wrath of her father to come and comfort her step-sister. This simple gesture touched Karna more deeply than she had expected, bringing fresh tears to her eyes, but this time, tears of gladness in the midst of her despair.
In the morning, Karna was so badly bruised that she could hardly walk. Tarlana was sent to work alone, being ordered to beg illness on behalf of her sister for the remainder of the week. Tarneesh left with a dissatisfied grunt that morning, muttering of the inconvenience caused by it all.
It was not until the house was deserted that his wife dared to enter the second room and saw the full extent of her eldest daughter's injuries, which had darkened and become more pronounced in the day's light. Tears threatened at the sight of the huge bruise that had swollen so much around Karna's right eye that it was almost shut. Her left side were so badly bruised that it was darkened all over from the repeated kicking. But despite it all, Karna smiled at the sight of her mother, wincing as she attempted to arise. Hezal pushed her back down gently.
"No, rest my daughter," she said firmly, moving to tuck the thin blanket closer about Karna's thin frame. "You need to rest. Do not try to rise, or you will injure yourself further."
Karna complied and tried lying as comfortably as she could, difficult as it was with her injuries. She was forced to lie on her right hand side, facing away from the doorway. She took the broth her mother brought her, finding that she had no appetite. She had seen the fear that lingered in Hezal's gentle eyes and wished above all else to soothe it.
Her mother was so content and cheerful in nature that she was seldom saddened. When she was, it was always on account of others' grief, not for her own sake. She had endured such hardship in her life, and yet she was still positive, accepting her lot in life with grace—a grace that Karna did not possess.
Despite the possible consequences, Karna always acted without thought, finding herself unable to endure the thought of her life never changing for the better. She knew that, regardless of what happened, she would always fight for the chance to find that freedom and love that she sought, and to find the same for those she loved.
The week passed slowly, but with each day, Karna grew in strength and her bruises slowly changed from darkened shades of black and blue to that of yellow as they began to fade. Upon the third day, her friend Tamara came asking after her, and though she knew her husband would forbid it, Karna's mother allowed the friends a few minutes speech together.
Even though she was shocked at the state of Karna's face, Tamara did not ask the cause, but instead told her friend of the goings-on of work. Eagerly, she told of the earlier expected arrival of two barbarian lords ahead of the larger party, so as to inspect the lodgings set aside for the coming of the barbarian queen. Now the work had begun in earnest. They were expected to clean the house with even greater speed and thoroughness than first told.
When Tamara left, she cast a final, sorrowful glance at Karna, her eyes saying what she did not dare speak aloud. She pitied her friend and wished that she could aid her in some way, but was forbidden to do so.
In those hours that passed between the return of Tarlana from work and that of Tarneesh and his sons from the market, Tarlana would sit with her. Carefully going about her allotted tasks, she would keep her stepsister company and speak honestly of how she missed her company throughout the long hours of the day. These simple, honestly spoken words touched Karna's heart and brought about an intimacy between the two sisters that had never previously existed.
"Do you miss Karlis?" Tarlana asked on the second afternoon after Tamara's visit, six days since Karna had become bed-ridden.
Sighing gently, Karna nodded. "Very much. She always used to make me smile."
Tarlana agreed, pausing in her cutting of vegetables for a moment. "Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and wait to hear her breathing beside me, and when I don't, I wonder where she is. Then I remember that she's never coming back."
Karna reached over to take her sister's hand in her own, hearing the grief in her voice. "We all miss her terribly, Tarlana, but she has a husband who cares for her. May Tash (may he be praised) grant us the same blessing in life as she has had."
Tarlana smiled despite herself. "My longing shall not be fulfilled unless Prince Rabadash wishes to marry into the family of a carver."
Karna laughed, glad to see her sister's change in mood. "Have you heard anything more concerning the barbarian lords?" She had found herself considering the foreigners a lot within her hours of solitude.
"Yes," Tarlana replied eagerly, "they are coming half way through the cycle of the next new moon. I am so curious to know what a pale-skinned man will look like. I try and imagine, but I can never picture it in my mind."
Karna smiled. "I find it difficult, too. But I always find myself imagining them with lighter eyes for some reason, not dark brown or black, but pale brown, almost the colour of freshly ground cinnamon."
"Kediza told us that she has heard Master Tirshan speaking to a friend, and apparently he has heard that the barbarian queen has eyes of green."
"Green?" Karna exclaimed in astonishment. "You mean as the lawns of grass that cover the Tarkaans' and Tarkheenas' gardens? I would not have imagined such a thing to be real."
Tarlana grinned. "I know, I look forward to seeing them. It will be interesting to see if the rumours prove true."
That night, Karna lay awake for several hours, struggling to sleep. Although her bruises had healed substantially, they still caused her discomfort. On top of that, she had also developed a continuous headache from her confinement in the stuffy back room of the home. Desperate to escape from it, she attempted to rise. Though her legs were at first too numb to move after days of having lain in the same position, she eventually managed to stand, and leaning heavily upon the rickety table, she rose to her feet.
To her surprise, she found that she could stand and bear the pain that shot through the legs, which, though acute, was bearable. With a growing resolve, she moved steadily towards the doorway, careful not to touch any of the sleeping forms upon the mattresses. When in the doorway, she paused for a moment, taking time to catch her breath before slowly limping towards the entrance. Each step was an effort in itself, until she finally reached the flimsy wooden frame, and drew back the bolt. She found herself able to open it with surprising ease.
Once she had left the stuffiness of the home, Karna felt her face touched by the gentle kiss of the night air. Cool and refreshing, the heat of the day had finally given way. To her, it was like the first trickle of water down her throat after days of wandering in the desert. She stood for a time, merely basking in the stillness and calm of the night, away from the crowded heat and sweaty bodies of the room, savouring the peace that the darkness always brought.
Without knowing why, she started to walk, oblivious to everything but the need to move. Not knowing how she was able to do it with such fluidity, she found herself hurrying down the streets. Her pain and bruises were forgotten as she simply walked, desperate to reach her destination, but not knowing where it was.
She stole through the dark, deserted streets, finding herself moving past closed, shadowy doorways and across empty squares. After a time, she became aware of moving roughly in the direction of the river. Before she knew it, she had entered an archway and was walking upon the smooth stone of a courtyard. In the centre, a fountain splashed.
She stood for a moment, merely watching the water fall into the smooth stone of the bowl. The very sight of it refreshed her. The moonlight slanted across the garden, gleaming its pale light upon the fountain, making the water seem like a fall of pure silver.
Karna froze, suddenly sensing another presence in the garden. She spun around and gasped in fear, for upon the carefully-tended lawn of grass stood the biggest creature she had ever seen. Despite the pale light that flooded the courtyard, his shaggy coat shone golden-brown. Its eyes were large, and to her astonishment were filled with something that could only be described as love and compassion. Yet despite the lethal teeth that showed below the cat's lip and the claws that protruded from his paws, she felt no fear, only reassurance from his presence.
Motionless, she stayed where she was, waiting for the animal to act, yet at the same time, knowing in her heart that he would not hurt her.
Silently, he padded towards her across the grass. He was tall—so tall that his eyes were level with hers. He slowly licked away the tears that she had not realised were staining her cheeks. An incredible peace filled Karna at his touch, and without thought, she put her arms about his proud neck. She began to weep wretchedly into his thick fur, feeling his tongue still licking away her tears as she sobbed away a week's pain and fear.
After a time, the tears stopped, and she drew back, simply staring into those great golden eyes. She did not understanding the calm that had entered her heart, but knew that she could now endure another day because of it. Wordlessly, she reached out and stroked the lion's shaggy mane, hearing an undeniable purr erupt, deep within the huge cat's throat.
"Thank you," she said, knowing that he understood. She longed to stay here with this great cat forever, to simply be looked upon with those great eyes, so large and filled with compassion and love, so wonderful and yet unknown in her world. For a moment, she stood there, watching the lion, loving him for some unknown reason, before reality reasserted itself. Staggering, she suddenly realised that the pain was back as her leg throbbed.
Karna felt tears coming once more as the pain grew worse and she was forced to stumble across the courtyard toward the archway. But in a few strides, the lion had crossed the pavement and was barring her way.
For the first time, she felt scared.
"No, I must!" she exclaimed. "Please, let me go."
The lion did not respond and he remained where he was, simply watching her.
Desperately, Karna tried to stumble around him, but the lion merely stepped in front of her, blocking her way. In a last attempt, she limped back in the other direction, and again, the lion barred her path. But this time, he did not pause in front of her, but continued to advance, forcing Karna to stumble back until she felt the grass beneath her feet. In a sudden, fluid gesture, the huge cat had approached her. Almost gently, he pushed her to the ground so that she sat. His large, shaggy head loomed over her, filling her entire vision.
With a sudden terror, Karna covered her face with her hands, trembling so much that she visibly shook … until she felt the touch of warm breath to her hands, and slowly drew them away to see the lion watching her. He breathed on her, but instead of rancid and stale as she would have expected, his breath was sweet and lovely to smell, seeming to warm her from within.
In amazement, Karna stared, transfixed, as he lowered his head, and gently nosed her skirt up so that the bottom of her legs were bare. After this, he gently licked her bruises, and with this tender touch, wrought a soothing throughout her entire body. Without knowing how, Karna felt her pain go, and stared at the great cat in amazement: he had healed her completely! In confusion, she felt her cheek, and realised that the bruise was gone. She stared at her leg and saw the discolouration had vanished.
She looked up and saw that he was staring at her once more, his great gold eyes gentle, still filled with that love.
"Thank you," she said again, wanting to express her gratitude.
In the moment that followed, she could have sworn that she heard the words, "Peace, dear one," spoken, though she immediately banished the notion as ludicrous.
Then, with a final look, the lion suddenly turned and sprang away into the night, gone as suddenly as he had come.
Author's note:
Hi, I apologise for the violence used in the prologue, but I wanted to set the reality behind this story.
One reason for writing this is to explore the working class culture of Calormen. I find the Calormen perception of the Narnians fascinating and have always wanted to explore the character of Peridan who is one of the few human lords mentioned by name during stories of the Golden Age.
We'll be meeting Peridan next chapter – after the little cameo from Aslan
Thanks for all those following this story, it would be awesome to have a couple of reviews. Please let me know what you think!
Thanks,
Breeze.
