He had walked in her room with the intention of sleeping on the floor anyways. He just needed to be closer to her. Well that and Diggle snored. Loudly.

His heart jumped in his throat when he didn't see her in her bed. He ran to her bathroom to find it empty. He cursed himself under his breath. How had he not seen this coming? He sat down on her bed and rested his elbows on his knees. He sat there cradling his head in his hands and then he heard it. The quite sleepy little moans that escaped her mouth from the other side of the bed.

He stood and walked the short distance to where she slept peacefully on the floor. He let a little laugh escape his lips. Why was she sleeping on the hardwood floor? And why was he instantly dropping his pillow right beside her?

He didn't want to sleep, he wanted to stay awake and watch over her, but when his breathing fell in tune with hers he was sleeping soundly in spite of the uncomfortable floor beneath him.

He woke to the sight of her blonde hair and only that. Her body had been curled into a ball on her left side under the covers while she buried her face in his chest while her hands greedily grabbed fistfuls of his shirt. He smiled softy at the sight beside him.

Why didn't she just tell them his name? She shouldn't be so loyal to him, he didn't deserve her loyalty, or friendship. He didn't deserve her.

'You are not alone. And I believe in you'

Why would she possible believe in him, let alone stand by his side after everything he'd dragged her thru?

He let her believe he didn't love her. And for what? Diggle stated more often than not that she's already in danger, that she's already a target. And he's right.

But because of him she was now hurt and afraid.

Afraid of him.

He winced remembering how she shoved him away from her while she was try heaving, how she tensed under his touch, how she couldn't meet his gaze, how she hugged Diggle and not him.

Abruptly she stirred against him letting out a little moan. He smiled in spite of his self-loathing seconds ago.

The bedroom door creaked opened slowly letting the light dance on the walls. "Oliver?" Digg whispered stepping in causing slight shadows to play on the walls.

""Mmhm." Oliver said trying not to wake the blonde next to him.

Digg walked silently over and looked down his mouth opened about to speak but Oliver silenced him with a finger to his lips.

Digg smirked his little knowing smirk before turning and walking out.

He continued to watch her sleep, not allowing himself to think of all the ways he's screwed her life up in the past few years. Instead he thought of her laugh and smile, the way she got excited about her computers, how she could calm him with just one look or word. How she could read him like an open book, and how he could do the same.

He wondered how he could get her to smile again. She seemed to be the only person to be able to pull smiles from his lips. She was the first person to make him smile after Tommy's death. And his mothers. He couldn't shake that thought out of his mind.

Reluctantly he pulled away from her body, but her hands only latched harder onto his shirt, clamping her to him. He laughed lightly and tried to pry her fingers off his shirt. She groaned softy then stirred against him. Her head rose slowly from is chest with little moans and sighs he swore, were the only sounds he'd ever want to hear again.

Her sleepy blue eyes met his. And to his surprise she held the contact as she blinked the sleep away.

But as if suddenly aware of how close they were her hands flattened against his chest and shoved him back so space was pushed between them.

His brows creased at her sudden distaste.

"Sorry." She whispered letting out a heavy sigh when she saw his face. "I… I just-"

"It's okay." He said quietly as he sat up and stretched his arms above his head.

After he had left her room he had this look on his face. She couldn't describe it. Never before has she seen him look so… understanding, maybe?

He had built his walls so high that she couldn't scale them. But now they seemed to reverse rolls. His walls were crumbling while she began to build hers up.

So maybe that look was understanding?

She didn't know how long she sat lost in her thoughts before she managed to get up and walk to her bathroom. She didn't want to meet her reflation again but curiosity got the better of her yet again. Her eyes drifted up to the mirror hesitantly, the bruise on her face was large and discolored and in full effect, definitely nowhere close to healing seeing that it was still a dark shade of blue and purple.

She sighed. She had yelled at Diggle for him and Oliver pitying her yet she was doing the same right now. What a hypocrite.

And then she started to cry. She cried because she had a deadbeat father who left, she cried because her mother never bothered to call her back. She cried because three years ago she had been completely alone.

She cried because now she wasn't alone. She cried because now she had people who loved her. She cried because Diggle was now her big brother. And because Roy was now her little brother. She cried because Oliver had told her he loved her. She cried because he hadn't meant it. She cried because he never took it back.

How could he do that to me? She wondered. Didn't he care?

After she composed herself she went back and laid on the floor. She didn't want to face them like that. She honestly didn't expect she'd fall asleep again, but she did. The floor really wasn't all that uncomfortable.

Oliver walked back in her room after making coffee and waffles. Neither were probable edible but that's what syrup and creamer was for.

Her head turned to look at him briefly and he was surprised to find her sitting on the floor with her back against the footboard watching TV.

"I tried to make you breakfast." He said sitting next to her with a reasonable amount of room between them.

"Must have done and alright job considering the fire department hasn't shown up yet." She said it flatly but he couldn't help but laugh. At least she was trying to be herself again he thought.

"Digg left early this morning."

"He and Lyla going to an appointment?"

"Yeah"

There was such a long suffocating pause that he couldn't ignore.

"So breakfast then?"

She nodded and stood slowly.

"How much pain are you in?" he asked observing her stiff posture. "On a scale of one to ten?"

She shrugged lightly "I'm not really in pain I'm just really sore. My arms and back mostly."

He was confused for a moment wondering why her arms would be sore. But then he remembered how she'd been tied up and how long she must have been like that before he got there. That's why she hadn't slept on her bed.

"Felicity" he whispered.

"Please, Oliver, just don't" she said weakly as she brushed her way past him and headed for the kitchen.

"Hey, hey." He said a little too forcefully as he grabbed her forearm and halted her.

She recoiled and snapped her eyes shut turning her face to the side. Like she was ready for him to hit her.

He released his hand hurt by her distrust. And he suddenly found himself angry at both her and him

"Did you think I would hit you?" He said in a mix of anger and disbelief.

Her quivering lip and lack of words falling from them told him he was right.

He swallowed hard and shook his head at her. "Don't you trust me?"

Her eyes fell to her feet.

"I would never hurt you." His voice broke at the same time his heart did.

She swallowed and looked back up with fire in her blue eyes. "You would never hurt me?" Her voice rose with bitterness with every letter she spoke. "What do you call lying to someone and letting them believe you love them just so you could use them? Huh? You can hurt people without your fists you know?" She was screaming now. "You hurt me all the time Oliver!" With that she shoved her hands into his chest making him stumble. "How do you think I felt when you left after Tommy died? I was hurt." Her hands pushed him back again "What about in Russia when you fucked Isabel? Huh? That hurt Oliver." She shoved into his chest again "What about when you told me you couldn't be with someone you care about and then you dated Sara!" Another shove to his chest. "Don't you dare say you would never hurt me when that's the one thing you do best!"

"Feli-"

"I'm not done, Oliver! The list goes on a hell of a lot longer than that. All you do is take, Oliver. Everything is about you. I hate being you 'secretary', but you know what I hate more? The fact that you didn't give me a choice. Like you didn't give me a choice when you gave me to Slade!" She let out a rugged breath and shoved him again. "Find yourself a new fucking IT girl to seduce into working both jobs for you because I'm done, Oliver. I am so done with you!" Her throat burned from screaming at him but God did he deserve it!

"Now get out of my fucking house before I call the police and have you removed!" She warned ignoring the tears that had pooled in his eyes. She shoved her hands into his shoulders again when she saw no reaction from him to move. "LEAVE!" She screamed letting her own tears suddenly fall.

He shook his head faintly "No. No you're going to have to call them."

"Don't force me to make that call, Oliver" her screams cracked into whispers.

"I can't do this without you. Felicity please." He finally gave into the tears that stung his eyes. He couldn't ever imagine his life without her.

"I think you can manage."

"Felicity, I can't."

"Don't!"

"I wouldn't even be here without you. I'd still be on the island, hiding from the fact that I couldn't save Tommy. I wouldn't have came back without you."

"I SAID DON'T!" She slammed her hands into his chest.

"And if I had come back, it wouldn't be so I could be 'The Hood' or 'The Arrow'. I would have only came back for the company. But you, you helped me find another way. You helped me become a hero."

"That's not fair, Oliver!"

"I know, I know but I need you. I can't even begin to imagine my life without you now. And I know I don't deserve another chance, and I know I don't deserve you, I know that. But please, please give me another chance."

"No. You don't get another chance. I've wasted so many chances on you already."

"You're the only thing I care about anymore. I can't lose you." He ran his hands over his face desperately. "I can't lose you. That's my breaking point, Felicity, that's the one thing I could never recover from."

'I'm in love with you' was numb on the tip of his tongue and he couldn't bring himself to say it.

'You're not going to lose me' for a second she's tempted to say it just to fuck with his emotions like he fucked with hers. "You have two seconds to walk out that door, Oliver. That's it."

'It's for the best. He's destructive and he'd only hurt me more than you've already let him' she tells herself this over and over as she watches him break down right in front of her.

He doesn't fight her this time, and part of her is angry that he just said all that but did nothing to stop her. But the other part of her is relived he walked away before she changed her mind. God, did she want to change her mind.

She slammed the door behind him. Why hadn't he fought her on this? She stood frozen in place for a moment before her legs gave out and she slumped to the floor with her back against the door and sobbed.

His body went limp beneath him the second the door slammed. He sat against her door with his face in his hands. Why the hell hadn't he told her he was in love with her? 'Because you can't make her happy, she deserves to be happy, all you do is cause her pain.' He told himself this over and over as the hours passed with him just sitting outside her house.

"What are you doing out here?" Digg's concerned voice brought him back to the present. "Oliver? Are you okay?"

He tried to speak to the man walking up the steps towards him but his throat was too tight.

"Is something wrong with Felicity?"

Oliver only nodded and stood shakily, Digg gave Oliver a hand and tried to help him up. "I, I um. She, she probably… She probably ripped her stiches." He managed to say. He thought of how many times she'd shoved him, she used all her strength to try and hurt him.

But that's not how she hurt him. And that's when he realized she was right. You didn't need your fists to be able to ruin someone.

"I need a drink" Oliver said mournfully and walked towards the road.

Digg followed and handed him a bottle of water.

"Alcohol, Diggle, water isn't going to help dull the pain." Oliver snapped.

Digg frowned. "That's not going to help, Oliver."

"I don't need you to tell me what you think is going to help!"

"Oliver-"

"I'm not in the mood for you to play Dr. Phil, alright?" Oliver barked. But then he realized that's exactly what he wanted. He wanted Diggle to help dig him out of the pit he'd just dug himself into with Felicity. But she wanted him gone. She threatened to call the cops if he hadn't left. And she meant it. He could tell she meant it from the look in her eyes. She didn't want to, but she would.

His mind kept telling him to let her be happy. But she wasn't happy.

Digg watched Oliver walk down the street. Even if Diggle hadn't seen his friend's tear traced face he would be able to tell he was depressed and angry just from his posture. He wondered what had happened. And then he wondered what Felicity looked like.

He pushed open the door a little rougher than normal and instantly regretted it when he heard the thump.

"Felicity!" Digg shut the door behind himself and crouched next to her. "What are you doing down here?" He tilted her face up so he so he could see what she looked like. "Hey, why are you and Oliver crying?"

Her puffy eyes met she sniffled before she talked "How do you know he was crying?"

"When I got here he was sitting with his back to your door." Digg said quietly. "What happened?"

Something in her eyes changed as she looked at him, something Diggle would say was desperation.

"Is he still here?"

"No. He left. He told me to look at your back. Said you might have ripped your stiches?"

She thought about why Oliver would say that but then she remembered how she shoved him. How hard she shoved him. How many times she had shoved him back while screaming at him.

"I probably did."

"What happened?" He said quietly as he finished patching her up.

The short answer was just easier to say and wasn't a complete lie.

"I quit."

Digg opened his mouth but she already knew the question.

"Both jobs, John."

"What else?"

"I don't think I can physically go thru that conversation again." She whispered with her mind already drifting off to that painful place. "Can you stay here tonight, please?"

"Sure."

"What the hell has you so…?" Roy asked as he walked into then new lair. "I don't even have words for what you look like."

"Don't. Just don't." Oliver warned taking another drink of the vodka.

"It's only like one in the afternoon and you're wasted?" Roy didn't even hid the distaste from his voice. "How's that working for ya?"

"Pretty shitty." He growled.