Time to Face the Truth

Addison woke up the next morning, with a sick feeling in her stomach. Vomiting and nausea were only two of the symptoms that she now faced. Along with Lower abdomen and back pain, loss of her appetite and, weakness. She looked at herself in the mirror and hated what she saw.

After she was dressed, she made sure that her husband and son where still sound asleep in their beds, and she left the house. Her first stop was Central Park, where she was going to meet Savvy to talk. As she was waiting for Savvy to arrive, she could already feel the tears welling in her eyes. "What am I going to do?" She thought to herself. "I am so...I am unfinished. Owen needs me, and well Mark…heavens knows he could never raise a child on his own." She continued to have these thoughts until she felt a hand on her shoulder.

She looked up to see Savvy, bearing coffee. "Hey." She simply said. "Hey sweetie." Savvy replied handing Addison the coffee.

"So, Addie . . . how are you?" Savvy asked. "Well honestly Sav, I am, I am scared shitless. What if I can't beat it? Owen, he needs me, he needs his mother. And Mark, well you and I both know that he can't raise a child on his own. I am so unfinished. And I am confused and, I am, I am just so scared. Addison said, she could feel the hot tears running down her face. "Oh Addie." Savvy reached out to hug her best friend. "Honey, you can't think like that. You have too look at the bright side. You will beat this cancer's ass I know you will. Because you are Addison and, you are strong and, and you will survive this.

Addison looked at the woman sitting next to her. She had known her for as long as she could remember, and had always been there for her. Really she was like a sister. "Savvy, will you come with me to the doctor? I don't want to go alone, but I am not ready to talk to Mark about anything yet." Savvy agreed, but made Addison promise she would talk to her husband soon.

The two women were sitting in the exam room, waiting for the doctor to come in. "Savvy." Addison began. "Yeah Ad?" "Mark asked me yesterday, if I wanted to have another baby. It was before we found out about the cancer, and I didn't really answer him. And now the answer that he and I both want isn't what I can give him. I missed my chance. I want another child, I do." Addison said on the verge of tears.

The doctor walked into the small room. "Hello, Dr. Montgomery-Sloan. Shall we get started?" he asked. Addison took a deep breath and nodded her head. Savvy took hold of Addison's hand and squeezed it. "Your options are: Distal pancreatectomy, since the tumor is in the tail of the pancreas, they will also remove the body of the pancreas. It is an extensive operation, and depending on how well it goes, you may or may not have to be on insulin therapy for the rest of your life. If you chose the surgery you will be sedated with a feeding tube for about a week. The feeding tube will be taken out after a few weeks. And although the doctors may not be able to get the whole tumor out, this could put the cancer into remission. Even though Addison already knew all of this, she nodded her head as the doctor spoke. The refreshment was good, and Savvy needed to know what was happening. "Your other option would be Chemo Therapy, but with you being a doctor, and the cancer being at such an advanced stage, I think you know that surgery is your best choice."

Addison and Savvy were now sitting in traffic, on their way back to the brownstone. "I am going to get the surgery." Addison stated. Addison switched lanes and turned the car, in the direction away from the brownstone. "Addie, where are you going?" Savvy asked. "Owen needs a mother, and the sooner I get the operation, the better chance of survival I have. So we are going to the hospital, and I am going to look up surgeons. I need the best there is. Addison's eyes teared up when she thought about the 40 survival rate, even for those who receive the surgery and best medical care available. She knew that this was going to be hard to beat, but she had to be strong for Mark and Owen.