[The Crew picked out homes and settles into them. …What else did you want me to say? The writer didn't finish the script I'm not paid for writing thi-]

"It's very lucky that Mayor Hillcrest was nice enough to hire a home retailer for us, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, but it's just too bad the guy's such a COWARD!"

"Hush, Undyne! Don't be rude! Um… As you were saying, sir?"

"Y-yeah… T-this is a pretty cheap rental for good space! It's uh… g-got a pool, big garage and a basement… I-if you're that interested in one of those, anyway," the salesperson went on nervously, sweating profusely at the threat of danger that was monsters in the same room as him as he was showing them available houses through giant, EXPENSIVE, TV screens, in his office.

If he wasn't being paid to do this…

One of said monsters, the yellow lizard, was just admiring the technology used to make the screen and not even paying attention to the rental options. She kept poking at the screens, even though she was told multiple times it was expensive to replace.

Typical mechanic geeks, they're everywhere.

The home dealer, though terrified out of mind, still managed to keep enough sanity to realize the Underfolk haven't even seen the light of day in years and gave the geeking lizard a break. At least she kept her fishy-friend from shattering the screen.

The last thing he needed was a risk to his career.

According to him, Monsters' housing interests were… diverse, to say the least. He had all of them go over a few pages and check off anything that seemed like what they wanted from their future residence, and that doesn't seem to go well…

Toriel and Asgore, the goat-like creatures, and the… child… preferred a simple house with space to accommodate many persons, while the skeletons just demanded separate rooms and a large kitchen; it seemed they wouldn't mind living together, so he kept it general. The salesman anxiously let them take hold of the powerpoint remote so they could debate on prices and such, while wiping a shaky hand on his brow.

Alphys and –"What was your name again?" he recalled asking a few minutes prior, "Undyne, and don't you forget it, PUNK!"- Undyne just wanted to live together with enough space to be comfortable in. The lizard was mumbling how her lab always felt empty, and the fish creature ranted shamelessly about what was so great about her home –which apparently caught fire…? The salesman jumped off that train of thought.

"H-hey Undyne, what kind of living space do you want? You liked your old house and I'd like a smaller space than my lab. I-I think we can live together too… Saves money and all…"

"What about an apartment?"

Oh no.

"Er… I-I hate to break it to you both, but the nearest apartments from where the others plan on living are quite a few miles away…"

"Aw, COME ON." Undyne was disappointed, if that was the right word to use. The home dealer didn't bother to think on that matter for too long, if his boss caught him with shattered screens…

"D-don't worry! There is a set of condos a lot closer to the othermonsters'shousesand…"

The pair stared blankly at him, processing the rushed words.

"What's a "condo"?"

Great. Just great. Once again, might he mention that if he wasn't getting paid to help these people… He sighed, might as well help to lift their ignorance a bit…

"W-well, it's like a house, but… Actually, just let me show you." The salesman pulled up a search engine with "condominiums" in the search box on his mobile phone –"Hey, give my phone back! It's not a toy!" "But it doesn't LOOK like a phone! Where are the buttons?!"- , then let them decide whether the two still wanted an apartment or not.

"Hmm… I GUESS a condo could work out," Undyne finally responded, looking up from the phone. Alphys was turning the phone delicately in her claws in an attempt to figure out how it worked; she wasn't even paying attention to the screen anymore, which began fading to black to signal its disuse.

"G-good choice, miss! They're also quite a bit closer to where your friends are planning to live, as well!" The home dealer then called the rest of the monsters to attention to give the final verdicts.

"It all works out, then! I'll give you the addresses to the homes that you can check out for a while, and I'll meet up with you in an hour or so!"

.

.

.

It was only an hour. A SINGLE HOUR, and his clients were already moving into the spacey house- and the condo a few streets away. Right as he was about to get out of his car and tell them –nicely, of course; he didn't want to get destroyed- to pay up, he gets a call on his phone from Ms. Hillcrest, who was asking him if they had chosen homes yet.

"Yeah, they seem to already be settling in. Is the government paying for all this? It hardly seems practi-"

"It's all good. We can work out the dealings with their currency later. I'll give them a free trial of the city for a few days, so long as they don't go bingeing on expensive stuff," the woman on the other end explained.

"What about my paych-"

"You just need to pick it up. Your boss should give it to you tomorrow."

Welp, that settles that. But she really didn't need to keep interrupting him.

"Anyway. Thanks for helping those guys out. Really takes the load off of me doing things. I might consider bribing your boss into promoting you if they keep showing up for new homes," the mayor chuckled on the phone.

He froze.

He knew the job of a home retailer would work itself out in the end someday. It just… took about ten years.


((A/N: Hey, so I've been thinking. Maybe I should write 2nd person for the humans that the Crew talks with for more than like 100 words or so. Because who doesn't like reading "Holy crap, what do these monster guys think they're doing" over and over? Hands up if you vote for this idea!

…Well, I can't see you. And this'll be posted when you read this anyway. I don't really plan on changing these drabbles unless I want to change a pun here and there, so… Yup.

Also, you probably noticed but each of these are slowly passing the 1000-word mark per drabble. I'm getting the hang of writing bigger things on a schedule (if you can call it that jfc), so that's something to look forward to.

And if any of you are interested, I might consider writing a Christmas thing -mistletoe and all that- as a little crack-ship-ish thing as a treat. If no one cares but I write it anyway, I'll just post it and everyone can ignore it if they like. Sound fair?

Good.

Write your reviews with your opinions and ideas for more stories, and I might just consider them if you're lucky! ^w^ All of you have a good day-!

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