i took my love, i took it down
i climbed a mountain and i turned around
and i saw my reflection in the snow covered hills
'til the landslide brought it down
She walked through the first floor of the house. It reminded her of the house she had grown up in as a child. Old oak hardwood floors, a big fireplace, a backyard with a tire swing. The difference of course this one was empty. Yes there was furniture but no photos or trinkets from trips. But she was sure she'd fill it with memories. It would just take some time.
She smiled and pulled out the keys. She finally owned a home, no hotel, no trailer. Just her and a place she could make her own.
She turned towards the door at the sound of a door bell. She hadn't even moved in, she had barely signed the mortgage. Who was disturbing her Zen moment?
She opened the door hesitantly. It was Mark.
"What are you doing here?"
"What do you mean 'what am I doing here?' You aren't even going to get a friend's opinion before you dive head first into your real estate escapade?"
"I already had Miranda over and my real estate agent is the best in Seattle."
He grinned, "Well let's celebrate then."
He pulled out a very large, very expensive bottle of wine.
"Mark," her tone weary.
She refused to get drunk and do something she'd regret later.
"I know, I know, friends only…At least until you sort everything out," he winked and Addison smiled, "Now let me in before I need to build an ark."
"Do you think its bad luck that it hasn't stopped raining once in the last three days Mark?"
Her voice so quiet he could barely hear.
"Like a bad omen. What if it's a sign? Maybe its God's way of telling me I should leave Seattle."
She always thought too much when she drank wine.
Mark emptied the rest of the bottle into his glass. She didn't need anymore.
"No I do not in way, shape, or form think rain is a bad omen. Rain is good. It's washing away the old, the sins, the lies and its letting something new grow. Rain makes life."
She wouldn't lie, when he said things like that she sometimes felt like she could fall in love with him.
She sighed, he sounded like Derek. They were so similar it scared her sometimes. They'd never admit it or even see it but there was something about them. Mannerisms and actions, patterns of speech, just something. The way they acted when they thought no one was watching. The way they acted when they had an audience. The way they acted with her.
But you only really saw it if really only knew them.
Maybe that's why she turned to him when she felt like Derek was lost. He knew what to say and how to act. He knew Derek. He knew her.
"And there isn't a hospital on this planet that wants a surgeon who has bailed on two multimillion dollar contracts in the same year."
And then there was Mark everyone knew again.
"I knew your voice of reason would emerge eventually."
"Well I had to. You were giving me that look."
"What look?"
"That 'you and Derek are so similar' look. I hate that look."
She groaned. Why could be read her so easily.
"I was not and I do not give you that look."
"It makes me feel like you don't see me. Like I'm a second Derek or something. You always gave it to me in New York. Like I wasn't good enough alone."
He sounds so sad and there are tears in her eyes.
"I think that's why I cheated. I didn't want you to see me as Derek. I'm Mark. I needed you to love Mark."
"I'm sorry. I never meant to use you. I never…"
He puts a hand to her lips to stop her, "I was a willing partner; you used me as much as I used you. We were what we were to each other."
He always knew what to say. They were what they were.
"I think we've had too much to drink."
Mark nodded and pulled her down so she was in his arms on the couch, her back to his chest. She gave no struggle.
He held her tight but not in a sexual way. In the way she needed to be for the last few weeks.
"I know its hard Addy. I see you struggling but don't be afraid to ask for help. I will always be your friend no matter how you see me."
She closed her eyes. Sometimes it felt good to not be so strong. She was glad she had a friend for those moments.
well, i've been afraid of changing cause i've
built my life around you
time makes you bolder
even children get older
and i'm getting older, too
i get older, too
So I turned in a 12 page term paper on women in politics earlier today. Let's just say I printed it out and had 3 minutes to sprint to class before it was late. But you know the first thing I did after I caught my breath? I wrote this. It isn't what I originally saw the chapter being but all I wanted to do was write it, regardless of where it went. Hope it works. And the men are coming. I just realized Addison needed a place to bring them back to, if she ever wanted to bring one back.
And I'm not Maddison but Addy needs a friend and like Mark said, he's her friend regardless of what happens in her love life (at least that's why my Mark said).
And the song can be the dixie chicks or smashing pumpkins—I love 'em both!
Thanks for reading. And remember to reivew bc its been a stressful week (and its not even over yet!)
