Chapter 3

"I think they're gonna go after my kids to get to me."

Olivia just stared at Elliot. The whole ordeal of him shoving her into the wall and completely terrifying her had lasted maybe 90 seconds, but in the moment it felt like a lifetime. She was still trying to process that it was really him. Adrenaline was coursing through her, and she needed a minute to get her head straight.

Elliot was still unsure of how she was going to react to him suddenly reappearing after all these years. He definitely hadn't intended for it to go down the way it did. Now, her silence only fueled his worry. Finally, after what seemed like forever, she stepped around him and walked into the kitchen without saying a word or even making eye contact.

Not knowing what else to do, he followed, slowly. He found her pulling two rocks glasses and a bottle of what appeared to be bourbon from the top shelf of a corner cabinet. He thought she usually stuck to beer or wine, but clearly some things had changed. Then he saw a child's artwork on the fridge. Apparently a lot had changed.

Olivia poured them each a glass and watched him for a few seconds. She was still trying to catch her breath. What the hell was he thinking? What was she thinking for not kicking him out? His kids. Sonofabitch knew she'd be more likely to hear him out if it was for their sake, not his.

Using a bit more force than necessary, she sat his glass on the counter next to where Elliot had stopped. "You sonofabitch." Her voice was flat. She wasn't yelling but instead sounded eerily calm. It made Elliot even more uneasy.

"You have until I finish this drink to tell me what the hell gives you the right to break into my apartment, almost get yourself killed," she glanced down to what he assumed was a drop holster on her calf before she continued. "And then use your kids' safety to keep me from kicking your ass out or calling the police."

He gulped at that last comment. Would she really call the police? Would she actually have him arrested? He knew it was a long shot that she would even hear him out. Everything had happened so fast and not at all how he intended.

He looked down at the drink she'd offered him and was slightly puzzled by the disconnect between her words and her actions. She was pissed, and obviously didn't want him there, but she was offering him a drink?

"Whatever it is, Stabler, I imagine a little fortification won't hurt." She said by way of explanation. She took a long sip from her own glass then nodded at the now diminished level of liquid. "Get talking."

He hadn't missed the use of his last name. She was distancing herself. Not that he could blame her. "God Liv, I don't know where to start. I just, it's been so long, so much has…" He looked up at her before quickly averting his eyes again. "Then this case, the explosion. None of it was supposed to happen this way..." He was starting to ramble.

Hearing her nickname from him was a jolt, so it was with a heavy sigh she stopped him, "Your kids, that's what you came here about. That's what I'm willing to listen to." There was no anger in her voice, no detectable emotion at all. She took another sip dropping her glass level to half its original content.

He realized that while it appeared some aspects of Olivia Benson had changed, one had not. She wasn't going to give him one inch more than she'd agreed to. And it was obvious she felt that even that was more than he deserved.

"Since you thought I was dead; I gather you know a little bit about what happened."

She nodded, "And I've been in touch with Kathleen and Liz."

That got his attention. Had she reached out to his kids when she heard? Had they reached out to her?

"Kathleen came by the precinct after she heard." She said by way of explanation. "After the funeral, I've met her and Liz for coffee a couple times. They've grown into beautiful women."

"Did you, I mean the funeral, did you see the rest of them?"

She'd turned away from him, her hands resting on the kitchen counter. "I didn't go." Her voice took on that breathy quality it got when she was trying to hold back her emotion. It was the first sign of emotion she'd let slip since their conversation began.

He waited for her to continue. She didn't, so he finally spoke. "Liv, I gotta know. Are they okay?"

She sighed, "No, they think their father is dead." She spun back to look at him. She knew the words would hurt, but what was the point in sugar coating it. Knowing it would hurt was one thing. Seeing it in his eyes, she couldn't help but feel sympathy.

"Elliot," she said softly. "Why don't you just tell me the rest of what happened, and why you think your kids are in danger."

His jaw was clenching and his eyes were closed. He was trying to get his emotions under control. When he finally opened his eyes, he could see in hers that she would at least help him get word to the kids.

He started talking again, explaining what had happened in the past three weeks. Some of what he said she already knew. FBI undercover op, and he'd been made. When his CO found out his cover had been blown, he arranged for his "death." Elliot was obviously devastated that his kids thought he was dead.

She studied him as he spoke. He hadn't changed all that much. Older obviously, so was she, but he was the same Elliot. Broad shoulders, a few more lines around his eyes. He'd grown a weird goatee, but still Elliot. Her Elliot. She shook the thought and focused on his words.

He was in cop mode, just telling her basic facts. After two weeks of being shuffled from safe house to safe house, Elliot explained that realized that his CO was moving him because he was worried about him being found. When he tried to move Elliot out of state to Indiana, Elliot knew something more was up.

It was only after confronting his handler that he learned that they thought he'd been outed by someone from within the FBI. Until they knew for certain who it was, they wanted Elliot in official witness protection.

Elliot soon realized that if the rat was indeed FBI, they knew his real identity. The international trafficking ring they'd been investigating was known for using family members to get people to cooperate. Since Elliot couldn't contact his family directly without putting them at risk, he'd begged his boss to put a protective detail on them. As spread out as they were, that simply wasn't feasible. But they did say they would try to figure out a way to at least put them on alert to a possible threat.

Elliot had panicked. His hands were tied, but he couldn't just sit by and let these animals use his family to try and draw him out. If he couldn't trust the Bureau, he decided to turn to the only other person he fully trusted. Before they could get him on a plane from Albany to Indianapolis, Elliot has slipped his detail and caught the first train back to the city.

It took a little effort to track down her address, but Elliot was resourceful. He hadn't wanted to risk being seen or caught on some kind of elevator security surveillance, so he'd snuck in through a delivery entrance while the mailman had the door propped open.

He actually tried knocking first, but no one answered. So he took the stairs to the roof and used the fire escape to break into what turned out to be Noah's room. He had just stepped into the hallway when he heard Olivia open the front door.

"So that's what got us to this point." He said wrapping up his explanation.

"This point?" She'd been listening to him for at least ten uninterrupted minutes, her drink long forgotten. She was engrossed in the details of his situation, his kids, his being less than three feet away from her. It was odd how easy it was to let the past twelve years slip away and just see Elliot.

But that phrase, that's what got us to this point, pushed a button and snapped her back to reality. What if Noah or Nicole had been with her? What if Ed had been? What if she'd had her service weapon on her. Things could have gone so differently. It could have been so much worse.

"So you thought it was good idea to wait in the dark and just ambush me." Now the emotion was evident in her voice. "Jeez, Elliot, I could have killed you!"

"I thought that's what you were going to do," he started. "It was dark, and when I saw you reach for your gun…"

"I wasn't even wearing it." She said as though it was obvious.

"I couldn't tell that. I saw your hand go to your holster," he was almost shouting now. "I just didn't want you to shoot me."

"What if one of the kids had been with me? What if Ed had been?" She shook her head.

"I don't know. I didn't know there would be..." He stopped as he took in what she'd said. Kids, so she had more than one. And Ed? Must be her husband? He didn't know what to say. She had every right to be furious. But he was beyond curious.

At the moment, Olivia was so angry she didn't trust herself to speak. She stared him down instead.

"Liv, I didn't know you have a family." He started. "I just needed to… My kids… You're the only…" He was starting to ramble again.

As usual, she saved him. "Elliot, stop."

He stopped talking and just watched her. Of course he didn't know she had a family. He didn't know anything about her anymore.

She shook her head trying not to let her thoughts derail. His kids needed to know he was still alive. If they truly were in danger, they should be warned. That was all this was. That was all it could be.

Did he know her as well as he thought? Would she still help him after all this time, after the way he'd left?

She cleared her throat bringing both of their attention back. "You keep mentioning that your kids are in danger. Are you sure these guys really know your true identity or have even figured out you have kids?" Her expression said that she was contemplating whether or not she willing to continue to listen.

He started to speak, but stopped. He didn't know what more to say. There was so much left unsaid between the two of them. They'd always had a knack for putting aside the fireworks to deal with whatever case or issue was truly important. Suddenly, she appeared to be doing just that.

"What is it you want me to do? I may be Captain now, but the FBI still doesn't report to SVU." She dropped the new title on purpose. Part of her wanted him to know that she'd found a way to thrive. Without him.

"Captain, huh?" Another part of her reveled in the pride she saw in his eyes when the realization of her words hit him. "I'm sure you've earned it."

He looked at her again. Captain. A husband and children. It seemed Olivia had finally gotten all she ever wanted. And he'd missed it. He wanted to know who this Ed was and how many kids and what they were like. He wanted to know all of it. He wanted to know if she was finally happy.

She cocked her head and gave him a slight smirk. She knew his mind was racing once again trying to put together the all tiny pieces of her life that she'd let slip. She'd be damned if she was going to make it easy. Remembering her rule, she scooped up her glass and started to take the last sip urging him to quit staring and get on with it.

"Look," he stopped her. "I know it sounds crazy, but I know they are going to go after my kids. It's what they do Olivia." He was practically pleading.

"I get that Elliot. I really do." Her voice sounded marginally softer. "I just don't know what I can do."

"Warn them. At least tell them I'm alive." His desperation was evident, and she remembered how completely broken Kathleen and Liz were. She couldn't deny them the knowledge that the father they loved was alive.

She sighed and poured herself another drink. Elliot, who hadn't touched his at all, downed it in one swill and slid the glass to her. She gave him a hard stare before pouring him a refill.

Then Olivia surprised him by motioning toward the living room. In all honesty, it had been a long day and she couldn't take another minute on her feet. They'd been standing in the kitchen for almost half an hour.

For his part, Elliot didn't question. He simply followed once again, willing to take whatever he could get.

For a little while, they just sat on opposite ends of her couch in silence sipping their bourbon. When Elliot couldn't take it any longer, he spoke up. "So you drink bourbon now?"

"Ed likes it. It grew on me." She said, again with no offering of who Ed was or why that mattered. She wasn't sure why she bothered. She didn't owe him an explanation.

"Husband," he said. It was more of a statement than a question. "You've got kids, too, it seems?" Maybe that was what was leading her to help him. She has kids of her own, she understands his desperation to help his own. He was also really curious about her family.

"Two."

He started to ask their names, ages, anything to keep her talking.

She understood what he was doing, but she wasn't going to play catch up with him tonight. That wasn't going to happen. So she tried to move the conversation back to his original reason for showing up.

"I'll talk to Kathleen and Liz, and together we'll figure out how to get word to the rest of your kids and Kathy." Olivia was in pure cop boss mode.

His immense relief at that tiny little offering on her part was obvious. "Thanks, I know I have no right."

"You're right, you don't." Her voice had become flat again. After the past hour with him, she didn't have it in her to listen to him try to explain his twelve year absence. "Look Elliot, I agreed to talk to your girls because no one should have to live through the grief of losing a loved one who's not really lost."

The double entendre stung them both. She hadn't even intended it to come out that way, but the implication was immediately apparent when the color drained from his face. She wasn't sorry.

"This doesn't change anything between us." She wasn't pulling any punches.

He winced. "I get that, Liv. Really, I do." He looked like he was going to continue, but he stopped himself.

"What is it? What else do you want?" Her impatience was growing by the minute. She'd agreed to talk to his kids, now he needed to leave. She couldn't process him suddenly back in her living room having a conversation like nothing had changed when everything had.

"You must have connections. If you're captain? You know people?"

From almost anyone else she would have been shocked they had the balls, but this was Elliot Stabler. If she knew anything about him, it was his undying devotion to his kids. She also knew that it must have been really difficult for him to come to her, to ask for her help after the way things turned out for them.

"Please, Olivia. Please help me protect them."

She'd agreed to tell the girls and eventually the rest of his family. It was obvious he was certain of impending danger. She didn't have a clue what she could do, but she reluctantly agreed to think about it. He gave her a burner cell to give to Kathleen or Liz so he could contact them.

That was where they were when she stood indicating it was time for him to go. As he leaned forward to stand up, he caught a glimpse of the picture on the end table that had previously been hidden from his view. Is that? No, it couldn't be. Ed. Not that Ed.

Noticing him freeze, Olivia followed his line of sight to the picture. She'd been hoping to avoid giving any more details about her own life. She just didn't want to get into that with him now. Maybe not ever.

She cleared her throat causing his attention to snap back to her. The look on his face was one of shock and disbelief. "That's Ed Tucker," his voice was barely audible.

She pursed her lips and let out a breath before looking him in the eye and saying, "My husband." She watched him try to process it. It would have been amusing if not for the current state of things.

He started to say something, but she stopped him. "Don't Elliot. I don't owe you an explanation."

He looked back at the picture. It was a candid selfie at what appeared to be a baseball game. He was smiling and she was looking at him not the camera. "I wasn't, I just. Wow."

She raised an eyebrow because they both knew that wasn't true and that he was dying to know how the hell she ended up married to Tucker. "Yes, I'm happy with him, and that's all you get about my personal life." She called over her shoulder as she walked toward the door.

Knowing the conversation was over he followed. He couldn't even process this new information and didn't want to piss her off by pushing it. She'd agreed to talk to his kids, and that was the most important thing.

"Liv, I don't know how I'll ever repay you."

"You can't," she said as she opened the door. She heard his sharp intake of breath at her words and let herself look him in the eye once again. She hated that she actually felt sympathy for him. "You should know by now that you don't have to repay me." You never did.

He knew it wasn't forgiveness he saw in her expression, but she'd softened a tiny little bit. He started to reach for her arm as he thanked her, but he saw her tense and whatever softness he'd just seen vanished.

"I'll try to get ahold of Kathleen tonight, so we can meet up as soon as possible." They'd decided not to risk saying anything over the phone or having his kids at her home. He wanted to arrange to see them, but Liv convinced him to wait until she'd had a chance to talk to Kathleen. Then he could make whatever arrangements via the burn phone.

They needed to make sure that there wasn't a risk of him being seen. And she wasn't sure how much more she was willing to be involved. She just wanted to get the news and the phone to the girls. Then, if it became too much, she would at least know she had done right by the kids.

"Thank you." It was about the 100th time he'd said those words since she first agreed to help him. As far as he was concerned, it would never be enough.

She simply nodded and watched Elliot walk toward the back stairwell. Once he was out of sight, she shut the door and let her body sag against it. How was she going to explain all this to Ed?

A/N: Thanks again for those sticking with this one. I know where I plan for it to go, but your feedback helps me figure out exactly how I'm going to get there :) Sorry there wasn't much Tucson in this update, but I needed to get this scene and exposition out of the way so we can continue the story in the present. Next chapter, what will Liv tell Ed about her encounter with Elliot, and how will he respond?