Part 3 | decision | 4,021 words
Post UBW route, game verse.

. . .

He is greeted by a strange sight the next day at the school gates.

Matou Sakura and Tohsaka Rin are walking side by side in silence.

The younger girl is tossing hesitant glances at the other every now and then. The older one simply looks impassive.

It isn't generally strange to see two girls going to school together, but it's a little bit different when said persons are the school idol and the second year student whose popularity had been skyrocketing.

So as a result… people stare.

He does, too.

...And doesn't Tohsaka look a little strange? He can't pinpoint the exact reason, but there is something very odd with her today.

The two girls stops in front of him where he waits.

"Good morning, Senpai."

"Good morning, Emiya-kun." The black-haired beauty tilts her head as she inspects him.

He nods. "Morning, Sakura, Tohsaka." A pause. "... W-why are you staring at me… ?" Her stare is making him want to fidget.

She doesn't respond for a moment.

Then her hands crosses, she lets out a sigh, and -

"...Forget it," she says in a bit of a dry, resigned tone. "There's no point, now."

"Eh?"

"Tohsaka-senpai," Sakura says but doesn't continue, a hint of something in her words.

Rin huffs in response and turns away, looking strangely exasperated. "I know."

He doesn't know what to make of this conversation.

In a span of one day (less, actually), the two girls in front of him seemed to have reached an understanding of some sort regarding him that he's not privy of.

"Has…" He pauses, eyes darting between the two before settling on sharp blue eyes, and continues carefully. "Has… everything been settled?"

Rin is at the school. He doesn't think she would be otherwise.

All hints of humor and lighthearted exasperation vanishes from her expression.

"No."

She looks him in the eye, and says the hard truth in such a straight-forward manner.

And he can see Sakura's gaze dropping to the floor with a mixture of uncertainty and worry in her expression.

Something like fear thrums at his chest again.

"Shirou."

Her voice is calm and steady and it cuts through the muddled feelings growing in him.

Azure eyes, sharp and bright, stares right at him and through him.

"I'm here to inform the school I'll be away for the next few days, in order to resolve some family matters. It would have been irresponsible for me to be absent for too long without notifying them, after all."

She doesn't explain further.

She has already told him all that she needed to that day, at her house.

Still something in what she says nags at him. "Family matters?"

Something bitter crosses her expression, but he can't be sure.

"...Perhaps an oversimplification," she says after a moment. "But that's essentially it."

From the corner of his eyes, he watches Sakura's grip on her bag tighten.

He doesn't know what to say to that.

Actually, he does, but he has told himself firmly that he will wait, no matter how hard it is.

Silence encompasses them.

Until, at last, Rin breaks it with a completely different topic.

"By the way," she looks at him, very, very casually and with a disturbingly perfect smile. "In order to better coordinate what I need to tell Fujimura-sensei, do you mind telling me what you told her about that day, Emiya-kun?"

He swallows.

He has forgotten about it.

. . .

These are her passing words just before she excuse herself to go to the faculty room.

"If you are free, spend some time with me after school."

It's an odd request, even for Tohsaka.

He does as she asks.

He feels that he should.

Her calm eyes did not betray what she felt, and her expression remained poker-faced, but - for some reason, he sensed that this was important to her.

So he goes.

But then… even if it isn't important and merely a whim of hers, he would still go.

He steps onto the school rooftop.

Her back is to him again.

Her gaze is at the distant city beyond the fence and the blue and slightly yellow sky. The wind caresses her long dark hair in gentle waves.

Her arms are folded, and she stands motionless.

And once again that feeling comes to him.

It's as if she's carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. Yet somehow, she manages to stand tall still without faltering.

He walks towards her, and stops when he's a foot behind her.

"...Tohsaka?"

She gives him no response.

For a moment, he hesitates before putting a hand on her shoulder.

A small shoulder.

She stiffens momentarily.

Then she relaxes under his hand with a sigh, and her body falls back to rest on his chest. His hands automatically moves to press on her shoulders to keep them balanced.

"T - Tohsaka?"

Her eyes closes, hiding whatever turmoil she is feeling from him. To him, it is as if she's been drained emotionally.

And suddenly, he realizes what exactly felt amiss when he saw her this morning.

She's a shade too pale. She's actually trembling a little. Sweat dots her forehead. And she's beyond caring who may come up to the roof and catching sight of them. Not that she actually does care, but that doesn't mean either of them are in the habit of looking for an uproar.

The strong girl resting on him is exhausted in more ways than one. She didn't fall back onto him on purpose, he realizes suddenly, she fell back involuntarily in a fit of dizziness.

"Hey… do you have a fever?"

Tohsaka shifts, a palm pressing against his chest for leverage as she keeps herself upright.

"Sorry," her other hand rubs against her face, "I'm just a little tired. I'll be fine in a moment."

No, she won't, his mind tells him factually.

"I think that's a bit of an understatement," he says slowly, hands hovering nearby just in case she falls over.

He wants to know what she has been doing that caused her to be like this, and he honestly is struggling to not ask.

The soft chuckle that comes from her is a little self- deprecating, and oddly vulnerable.

"You're right," she agrees, her palm a gentle warmth against his chest. "I can normally handle it just fine, but..." She trails off with a sigh.

Tohsaka is saying something strange again, and he thinks he's reaching the end of his tolerance.

"Handle what?" He asks.

"My - ngh - " she goes weak, hand fisting in on his shirt, and almost drops.

He pulls her to him immediately before she can crack her head onto the floor.

She sags into him without resistance. Her breath is faint against his collarbone, and its a cool tickle against his skin.

"I'm taking you to the infirmary," he tells her, his hands wrapping around her small frame, and half of his mind is already thinking about how to get her there as soon as possible -

"Don't." Her grip on his shirt tightens.

Despite the exhaustion, she is firm.

"I'll be fine in a moment, Shirou. This isn't - it's not a fever."

And her words are effective enough to make him hesitate, if only because he senses that there is no lie in her words.

But he can do this, at least.

Without warning, he sweeps her up into his arms, and she startles.

"Shirou!"

She's light.

That is the first thing he realizes.

The second thing he realizes is that there may be trouble tomorrow because they are in plain sight of students at the school field track, and of anyone who may come to the roof.

He makes a beeline for the other side of the roof, where people are unlikely to find them, and where the wind is blocked.

She's surprised enough that she had not said anything else beyond his name, and he deposits her to the floor gently, plopping himself down next to her.

Silence descends on them.

She's staring at him, and it makes him want to hedge.

He clears his throat, scratches his cheek, and looks up at the sky to avoid her curious, probing blue eyes. "D - do you want a drink or anything? Some warm tea or coffee should do you good."

"..."

"..."

This silence is painful.

Her stare is even more painful.

"It's fine," she says finally. "I'm not thirsty, and...I can't trouble you that much."

She lets out another soft sigh, and leans her head against his shoulder.

He freezes.

"...You don't mind, do you?" the devil asks, clearly aware of his nervousness and amused by it. "Let me borrow your shoulder for a bit."

He glares down at her black head in displeasure. "I know what you are doing," he says accusingly, but doesn't remove her.

For all the teasing that she's doing, he knows that her exhaustion is real.

She huffs out a quiet chuckle. "That's because your reaction is fun to watch."

"Hmph."

"Don't sulk," she says, still amused. "I really do appreciate your consideration for me, you know."

And there's honest affection in her words.

Tohsaka is being really, really strange today.

"And... sorry, Emiya-kun, for being a burden today." Her tone turns wry. "This wasn't really how I planned for this to go."

She still looks pale to him.

"This is not a fever?" he asks for confirmation.

For a moment, she is silent.

Then she shifts, opting to lean back against the wall, the better to look him in the eye properly.

"No," she says with a sigh. "This... is caused by my magic crest."

His brows furrows.

"Imagine having to implant your ancestors onto your arm," she explains, "and the weight it will have."

Oh.

"Now translate that weight to something that feels like pressure on the nerves."

... When she puts it that way, it doesn't sound like a really nice thing to have. In fact, it sounds like torture. In more than one way.

"But like I said, that's not an issue. I'm used to it. There are just some rare occasions when it catches me off guard."

Tohsaka, he wants to say to her, doesn't that mean you can't ever let your guard down against it?

Instead, he asks, "and it caught you off guard this time because...?"

That she doesn't respond, this time, is telling.

. . .

He breaks the silence.

"So… what do you need?"

"...That's a rude way of putting it, Emiya-kun. Can I not just say I want to spend time with you?"

That would be nice, but he knows her better than that.

"And that's a highly skeptical look," she tells him as she observes his expression, a mild glare on her face. "Is that really hard to believe?"

They are falling back into familiar patterns of light banter.

"Well…" he gives her a pointed look. "Was that the intention?"

She glares at him a little more, then huffs.

"...Not really," she admits then. "B-but don't make it sound as if I asked you to come here because I needed you for something. That's not why, and that doesn't - " she stops, cheeks warming, then continues anyway despite it. "That doesn't mean I don't want to spend time with you, o-okay?"

It's his turn to go red. "O...okay."

He just wanted to tease her, so he wasn't actually expecting her to outright say that.

Awkward silence reigns.

...And he can't help but think that this is going to be the norm for the two of them.

He clears his throat. "So...what is it?"

She doesn't answer.

"..."

"..."

"...Tohsaka?"

Oh. She's turning a little red. She's also pointedly not looking at him.

He doesn't know why though.

"...ntrac..." She mutters.

What was that? "Huh?"

"I said... I need to talk about our contract."

Contract...?

Oh...oh. Uh.

His throat goes dry at the reminder of their first time.

Then the second, more recent one...even though they didn't do it for the contract.

Her warmth, her touch, her taste -

"W-what about it?" His neck feels inexplicably warm.

"How much prana do you have right now?"

He felt he had to clarify. "...Including yours?"

"...Yes."

"Double...maybe a bit more, of what I used to have." It was much less compared to that last day of the holy grail war, but it wasn't as if he had a need to tap into them.

And needlessly said, what contract they made had been permanent, but this is the first time she brought it up since then.

"I see." A thoughtful expression takes over her flush, and the back of her hand touches at her lip.

He can almost hear the gears turning in her head.

Then she sighs. "Well, I guess I did expect something like that anyway."

That doesn't tell him anything. At all.

"Would Tohsaka-san care to explain to the plebeian next to her...?" he asks a little dryly.

The look she sends him is slightly discontented, as if saying, That's rude, Emiya-kun.

She does explain like he knows she would though.

"Since there wasn't a need to provide you with prana any longer, I've stopped transferring them... consciously, that is."

A pause.

"But even if I'm not actually trying to provide you with any, this is a one-way connection that is already open. It means a little bit of what I have will always flow into you, and you can actually pull it out of me if you need to. Does that make sense?"

In other words, its a little bit like a leaking pipe. Tohsaka may have shut it, but droplets may still leak out if the pipe itself had already been tampered with.

... But wait.

Something else she said has caught his attention.

"Did you just say I can pull out more from you?"

Her discontented look grows for some reason. "You can, but only if I don't resist it."

That makes more sense. Why she looks mad though, is beyond him.

Wait...

"...Have I been doing that?"

She doesn't answer. Her silence speaks volumes.

"O-oh..."

She huffs. "Forget it. I'm not even concerned about that since you only do it during training, and its not as if you did it consciously then or that time. You don't use much, anyway."

"I... I see." He doesn't know what to say to that. So what is she mad about if not that?

Then he pauses.

"... That time?"

"When you fought Gilgamesh."

The reminder of that Servant makes something in him go phantom hot, cold, then hot again.

"Regardless," she breaks him out of his reverie and old battle scars, "like I said, its not a problem. That's not why I wanted to talk about this."

That still doesn't answer what she's mad about, but he doesn't have the opportunity to ask because she isn't done speaking.

Her eyes catches his own.

"I'm telling you this because there may be a chance that the prana flow from me to you may be cut off completely for a little while today or tomorrow." She tells him this calmly. "So don't be alarmed if that happens."

That makes him frown. "Why would that happen? What are you up to, Tohsaka?"

"Its nothing major," she says offhand. "Just something that may use up the majority of my reserves, so it might also affect what you are getting."

...When he first met Tohsaka, he hadn't known what her nonchalant behavior implied.

But that was then.

The more careless she seems, he knows now, means the more major this something would be.

The feeling of foreboding that he has grows.

"... Don't put on such a difficult expression, Shirou."

He focuses back on her, suddenly realizing he had zoned out.

The smile she's giving him is a little bit regretful, a little bit sad, a little bit sincere, but mostly warm and bittersweet and affectionate in a way that he doesn't think that he will ever forget.

He doesn't know what expression he had that made her smile like this.

"This is just something I need to do," she tells him quietly, "... Well, one of the two, at least. This one comes first, though."

Her words are as calm and as soft as that night in her room, and there's a glimmer of something in her vivid blue eyes that speaks of the resolve quietly burning in her.

It makes him swallow back all the questions that had been at the tip of his tongue.

"...That's all I needed to tell you," she says after a moment, and glances out briefly, past the fence and into the sky that's growing yellow and a little bit orange, "and I've to go now. Thank you for coming to meet me, Shirou."

He nods mutely.

He can't say the words he want to, because he knows the answer she will give is no.

He can't tell her to stay with him.

And she's watching the expressions playing on his face, her blue eyes inexplicably soft.

"... Actually, one more thing," she says then.

"Huh?"

A flash of blue.

She grabs the collar of his shirt without warning, pulls him down until his head was even with hers, and catches his lips with hers.

His eyes widens in surprise.

Her mouth is insistent against his, and he doesn't know if he made that sound or if she did or if they both did, but it makes him move.

His hand curls around the side of her neck, touching on the collarbone and stray strands of dark hair, and his kisses are hard and hungry and desperate, only to be tempered by her softer ones.

She's sweet and warm to the taste, and he wants more.

After... he doesn't know how long, but he doesn't think it had been long despite that it felt like forever, she pulls away, her forehead resting on his, cheeks flushed, and her rapid breathing on his skin.

He chases only to be stopped by her cool fingers on his lips.

"I have to go," she whispers.

And her eyes - a vivid, glimmering deep blue that are often so sharp and too perceptive, is all he sees right now.

"Thank you," she murmurs then, her words faint and warm against him, "for tolerating my selfishness."

Then she goes, leaving behind a lingering warmth that's ghostly enough that he wonders if he is merely imagining what just happened.

In his mind, her words feel a little like goodbye and a promise of a future all rolled together into one, and he can't even explain why because that is contradictory in so many ways.

But Tohsaka Rin has always been self-contradictory.

. . .

"...I'm done, Issei."

"Thanks, Emiya. You're a life saver."

"Is there anything else to be fixed?" he asks as he starts packing equipment back into the toolbox.

Silence is his answer.

He glances up. "Issei?"

"Emiya," his friend says then, "while I do really appreciate your help, I think those can wait. It's getting really late now, isn't it?"

Is it?

He glances out the window.

The sky had become a mix of orange and grey.

"Aah," he rubs the back of his head and turns back to look at Issei. "You are right. I didn't notice the time."

The other boy is observing him with a frown.

"You look troubled today, Emiya. Do you want to talk about it?"

He pauses.

Honestly, he wouldn't know where to begin even if he wanted to.

All he knows is that, ever since Rin has left the roof, he had started intermittently checking his prana levels.

Just in case there is an unusual drop.

Which is silly and stupid and ridiculous because he would know immediately if there was a sudden drop anyway. It's his body, and her prana flowing in his circuits like fresh cold water from the river sliding through and around him. It's a sensation that's completely different from his own that's more like hot air and sand and steel on his nerves -

"Emiya?"

And he will never tell her this, but feeling a part of her running through his veins is a constant source of comfort for him.

Yet, despite knowing these - he is unable to stop himself from checking periodically.

"Emiya. Emiya."

He blinks.

"O-oh, sorry, Issei."

There is a half-scowl and half-concerned look on his friend's face. "This wouldn't have anything to do with Tohsaka, does it?"

"Huh? W-why would you say that?"

"You don't have a very good poker face, Emiya." A pause. "Not that it's a bad thing, mind you. Don't ever learn to be like that fox."

That's an impossible task for me, Issei.

"I - I see," he says instead.

"You have been distracted ever since she has been absent," Issei points out with displeasure. "And of course it culminates in you looking terrible today the moment she comes back from whatever shenanigans she is up to."

"Oh…" Was he that obvious? He didn't think he was that obvious.

Ryuudou's discontented look grows. "She's really turned her wiles on you, didn't she?" A disapproving scowl. "Come with me to the temple, Emiya. Meditation and cleansing under the waterfall will do you good in removing her taint. It's time to repent and remove her influence."

Ahaha… ha.

"Tohsaka's really not that bad…" he trails off.

"Hmmpfh. She's already gotten to you." Issei looks annoyed.

Now, isn't that a bit odd? Shirou was actually half expecting his friend to start shaking him by the shoulders and demanding he repent.

In fact, the other boy is being rather mild where Rin is concerned.

"Issei… are you worried about Tohsaka?"

Said person's mouth drops open in shock.

"W-what? Of course not!" the scowl turns into a sharp glare. "There's no way I'd be concerned about that fox - I'm more concerned about what she's been doing and what she's planning!"

...Well. Put that way, Shirou can't exactly say he disagrees. She didn't exactly specify what she's doing or was planning, but she didn't make it a secret that something very, very serious is going on.

"And it looks like you are too, Emiya," Issei observes.

"Eh, well..."

"And this is unlike you, isn't it? I'm surprised you didn't try to find out what's going on."

"..."

That is true.

Her resolve, and that look in her gaze had been very effective in holding him back.

He knows its because she doesn't want him to be involved. And her silence tells him, there is nothing you can do, Shirou. Not this time.

But is there really nothing he can do?

Nothing at all?

...That's wrong.

There's no way he can claim there's nothing he can do when he didn't even try.

It doesn't matter what Tohsaka says in this instance, there is just no way.

He may not be able to interfere in her battle because he knows it's important to her like how his was with Archer, but that doesn't mean there's nothing he can do.

"Emiya? You are zoning out again."

He blinks rapidly at his friend.

Issei is still speaking with crossed arms, a displeased look on his face.

"Really, what has that fox done with you…?"

She made me go all crazy over her.

And he's quite possibly the biggest idiot on earth.

"Emiya!" his friend scowls. "Are you listening?"

He focuses back on Issei, suddenly feeling an urge to just grin.

"Issei." He claps a strong hand on the other boy's shoulder, who startles. "Thank you."

"Huh? W-wha..?"

"I got to go." He quickly moves to stash the toolbox into the cupboard.

"O-oh...okay. Are you sure you're alright, Emiya?"

"Perfect!" he calls out, already speeding out the door. "I'll see you tomorrow, Issei!"

"Don't run in the hallway, Emiya!"

This once, he ignores that.

And he runs to the Tohsaka residence.

. . .