All That I've Got

Written by RyoushintekiAikou AKA Hikaru

Pairings: Sasori x Deidara, Izaki x OC (OC x OC), Itachi x Izaki (Itachi x OC), Pein x Konan

Warnings: Yaoi, Yuri, violence, graphic blood, romance, strong language, and some disturbing mental images along the way. Rating may change as the story goes.

Copyright: I do not own Naruto or the Akatsuki organization. I do take copyright for Izaki Mukura and Nitsuki Misuru. This is purely for my, and the reader's, amusement.

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"Do I have a choice?" She paused. "Actually, I do… But do I have to like her?"

"I meant…er…what's the name for liking someone in the non-friendship way, un?"

"Non-platonic…"

"In that way, yea…" Izaki seemed to stiffen slightly under the moonlight, her expression almost unreadable. Nitsuki waited with bated breath for Izaki's response.

"Deidara, why in the hell would you ask me such a ridiculous question?" Her tone was spiteful as she turned to glare at the blonde.

"I…un…"

"And especially when we have the topic of your question around," Izaki added with an even icier tone. Nitsuki froze where she was, a sense of hypothermia coming over her as Izaki turned her head slowly. She could practically feel the chill of Izaki's sapphire blue eyes as her gaze met Nitsuki's.

"H-h-hiya…" Nitsuki stammered with a slight wave. Izaki continued to glower at the girl until the orange-haired kunoichi was sure she was frozen inside.

"Why do I have absolutely no privacy around here?" Izaki muttered in contempt as she swept out of the clearing, never once looking back at Deidara or Nitsuki. The blonde stared after her, his mouth slightly agape. Nitsuki allowed her eyes to drop to the floor. She felt her face burning with heat despite the chill she felt.

"Well, un, it seems like Izaki is pissed, yea. I think she'll either be at base or out, un… I better get you back inside, though, yea. You're gonna freeze, un," Deidara sighed as he put away his clay and stood. Brushing off his cloak he headed over to Nitsuki who seemed to shrink away into the darkness.

"Does she really like me?" Nitsuki asked softly.

"It's hard to tell, un. It's like that with everyone, yea. She doesn't openly show affection, un, or any form of feeling. Her mind is like her last sanctuary, yea. It's always gonna be hard to tell, un," Deidara finally admitted.

"What's her story anyways?"

"Tomorrow, maybe, yea… I'm tired and you need to sleep probably, un." With that said Deidara took Nitsuki firmly by the arm and hauled her to her feet with surprising strength. He led her to the mouth of the Akatsuki lair which was, surprisingly, still open. He took her through the halls down to where Izaki's room was located. Pressing one finger to his lips he let go of Nitsuki's arm.

"What…?"

"Be quiet, un, you don't want to aggravate her right now, yea." He raised one hand and knocked lightly on the door.

"What do you need, Deidara?" The blonde quietly turned the doorknob and eased the door open gently.

"I want to drop Nitsuki off with you, yea."

"Sasori!" she yelled. The door diagonal from her swung open with a dull thud and the puppet master strode out.

"What are you yelling about this time?"

"I swear to you that if you don't keep Deidara away from Nitsuki those two are going to plan to overthrow all of us with their hyperactivity," Izaki snapped, finally looking over her shoulder from the desk. Sasori rolled his eyes and tapped his foot slowly.

"Sorry, I can't do that… Watching you suffer is priceless."

"I hate you so much right now you have no idea. Deidara, leave her here with me and I'll take care of it. Sasori, take Deidara out of my room. Or I will hurt someone," Izaki snapped. Nitsuki sulked into Izaki's room and Sasori retrieved Deidara in one swift movement. The door slammed shut again, leaving Nitsuki alone with the ever-temperamental Izaki.

"Night…" Nitsuki managed to whisper before she curled up on her bed and let her eyes close firmly. Izaki glanced at her for a moment before turning back to her work. Quietly she blew out the candle by the work station and headed for her bed. She sat in a fetal position against the corner of the room with her eyes half-open as her mind drifted to a close.

The next thing Nitsuki knew she was hit with a slant of bright sunlight. She let out a muffled groan as she lifted her head from her pillow. Across the room she saw Izaki sleeping with her eyes partially open. Stifling a yawn Nitsuki glanced out the window into the sparse lighting. Judging by the amount of sunlight it was probably around eight or nine in the morning. Across the room, a long yawn sounded as Izaki opened her eyes fully. She blinked slowly, seeming to take into account the different parts of her body. Seeming satisfied with the results she swung her legs over the side of the bed.

"It's seven, if you were wondering. I have an internal clock," Izaki announced with a smug grin as she stood and stretched. She was wearing only a black tank-top with a black skirt with a slit down the side to allow her to move in combat. Mesh leggings fell to her ankles where she was barefoot at the moment.

"Damn…"

"I know; I sometimes hate it myself. Anyways…" She stretched a bit more before pulling on her mesh shirt over her tank top. Finding her Akatsuki cloak she put that on along with Japanese sandals in a pale indigo color. Her eyes looked tired as she pulled her hair back from her face.

"I feel like someone hit me in the head with a tree…"

"That's always a pleasant feeling. I wake up to it every day and then have to go through the day with that same old stupid feeling. Finally I actually escape it when I sleep. It's never-ending, honestly…" Izaki muttered as she buttoned up her cloak.

"You know, I think this is one of the longest natural conversations we've had," Nitsuki commented brightly.

"Way to ruin it, then…" Izaki turned to Nitsuki and glanced at her momentarily. "We should probably get breakfast for you by this point… I think Itachi and Kisame are already up. Come to think of it, Zetsu and Sasori are probably both awake as well. Maybe we'll catch Konan today, who knows?" With that she headed out of the room, letting Nitsuki trail behind her as they headed into the kitchen several doors down.

The sounds of something sizzling and water boiling reached Nitsuki's ears before the smells did. She could vividly pick out the smells of green tea, white rice, and many other foods before the sights met her eyes. Kisame stood leaning against the far wall eating raw fish and Sasori was making Gyoza by the sounds. Itachi was drinking tea with a blue-haired woman with porcelain skin and pale lilac eyes. Her head turned at the sound of Izaki's footsteps.

"Good morning," she greeted her curtly before staring at the wall.

"Well, happy morning to you to," she muttered as she went to finish the rice. Nitsuki stayed in a far corner almost out of sight. Never once did Izaki look back as she carefully measured water and rice. Once the rice was started she leaned against the countertop and closed her eyes.

"Having a bright morning, aren't you?" Sasori sneered as he continued on with his cooking.

"Screw you and burn in hell for all your life for all I care," Izaki retorted.

"Someone's in a foul mood this morning," Kisame shot back at her through mouthfuls of fish.

"Oh, go die." Izaki frowned as she rubbed her temples.

"It's so tempting to see how far we can push you before you do something totally uncalled for and irrational," Sasori told her with a smirk.

"This is so disturbing I can't stand it anymore." Just then the rice finished and she filled two bowls, leaving one on the counter, and headed out of the kitchen with hers and a pair of chopsticks.

"I think I killed her somewhat good mood about two minutes ago," Nitsuki mumbled, staring down at the floor.

"It's not that hard to do, actually," Sasori replied with boredom heavy in his tone. He loaded a plate with his finished meal and sat down to eat.

"What did she mean by 'disturbing' anyways…?" Nitsuki continued on.

"Izaki has a…gift…I guess you could call it. She wasn't named Shinen no Izaki Mukura for nothing. Her name literally translated means Izaki of the thought. It makes absolutely no sense but oh well. Her parents were slightly mentally challenged. She can read other people's thoughts as well as communicate that way. She can also manipulate people's thoughts against them and torment them into a slow, painful death," Sasori explained.

"Weren't her parents…proud…?" Sasori's expression hardened a fraction at Nitsuki's words before returning back to his natural calm.

"Her parents manipulated and hated her. Her father that her mother married was never her father. She was never happy. She was never loved. And in return she never loved," Sasori rasped in a cold voice. "It's not my place to share her life, though."

"Oh…" Nitsuki sighed. Konan stood and left the room without another word. Itachi didn't even look after her as she left. He simply continued to calmly sip his tea.

"Be ready to die if you ask her about her past, though," Itachi advised in a soft voice.

"Uhm…thanks…?"

"Anytime…" Nitsuki inwardly rolled her eyes and picked up the bowl left for her. She started to eat neatly with chopsticks. When she finished she rinsed out and washed her bowl in the sink before heading back to her room to find Izaki.

She found the black-haired kunoichi sitting on her bed with her chin in her hands. Her elbows were resting on her knees as she sat in a fetal position. Her eyes looked sunken and heavy as she let out a long sigh.

"You haven't been well…" Nitsuki commented softly with concern thick in her voice. Izaki managed a small smile.

"As I said before, I'm beyond help," Izaki replied in an even tone. Nitsuki stood there, dumbfounded as she gazed at her.

"What happened to you…?" she whispered in a soft voice. Izaki's eyes flickered onto her before she went back to staring at the ground.

"At which point in my life did what happen to me?"

"The time before you came to the Akatsuki," Nitsuki told her. Izaki stared off into the faint slanted beam of light that was slowly disappearing in the corner of the room.

"…I…I…" She paused before clearing her throat slightly. "Come sit." Nitsuki tentatively took a step forward to Izaki. "I won't kill you, I swear." The orange-haired girl cracked a smile and sat down next to her current mentor.

"This is going to be long, isn't it?"

"I'll try to be concise…" Izaki leaned her head back against the wall and let her arms rest next to her. "When I was born, my clan had passed a law within our complex that having any more children was forbidden. My cousin Lanai Mukura had cursed our family by craving more than he could ever have. He'd made a deal with Orochimaru—he was here before—that every seventh child born into our clan would be a test subject for his curse mark.

"My father was away on a trip to another village when my mother became pregnant. I never knew who my real father was. When I was born, it turned out I had a sister who was born only a few minutes after me. Her name is Mizuki. My father only loved Mizuki. He turned his back on me and poured all his love into his beautiful, perfect daughter." Izaki's tone turned bitter as she practically spat out the world.

"Then what happened…?" Nitsuki asked in a very quiet voice. Izaki closed her violet eyes, her lips moving slowly as she struggled to continue her story. Her hands clenched and unclenched from fists.

"He loved her. We both grew up. I was seven when I received the curse mark from Orochimaru. For three years afterwards I trained hard to be a kunoichi to prove my clan wrong that I was simply a weapon for Orochimaru. It was never enough. Every achievement went over my head like it was nothing. So I gave in trying to be what everyone else wanted of me because I'd never be that. I couldn't be what others wanted because Lanai had ruined my life.

"So then I became hateful and bitter towards my clan. I turned my back on them and after I'd gone into a coma for about a year, I came out and had a final decision two months after. I was going to kill my clan. That's when I snapped. I turned fourteen, and, the month following, I slaughtered my clan. My sister was away on a mission. When she came back I was just about to leave.

"She cried for me. I never cried for her. I never cried for anyone. I'd only cried because I felt the absence of life and love within me when I was younger. I went on the run after I left Konoha and finally made the decision to join the Akatsuki," Izaki finished in a resentful sigh. Nitsuki's eyes were wide was she continued to stare at her. There were so many things she wanted to say but couldn't.

"I'm…sorry…" she finally managed to tell her in a broken voice.

"Sorry for what, Nitsuki? Sorry my parents were asses who couldn't give two shits about me? Sorry that I'm beyond help at this point? Sorry that I'm nothing like what anyone would've ever wanted from me? Sorry that my life has been a disaster since the second I came into meager existence?" Izaki inquired sarcastically. Her eyes opened slowly as she counted the cobwebs on the ceiling.

"Iie, Izaki…sorry that you never knew what love was…" Nitsuki said in a distant voice. She turned her head away from Izaki to stare at the door.

"Nitsuki…" Izaki struggled to find words as her gaze fell on the floor in front of her. "I…I…" She pushed the stray hair from her bun from her face and blinked rapidly. "I don't…I can't…" Her voice was uneven and hesitant. Nitsuki turned her head slowly to look at the confused kunoichi.

"Don't ever say you can't love someone. It's humanly possible for anyone." Her voice was suddenly serious as she looked directly into Izaki's eyes. The black-haired girl seemed to be paralyzed where she was. Nitsuki turned so she was facing Izaki, barely inches away from the girl.

"Nitsuki…" Carefully, the orange-haired girl managed to rearrange herself to be sitting with her fingertips barely brushing Izaki's.

"I see your soul in your eyes. You can't let go of love, no matter how hard you try." She leaned forward calmly, as if this happened every day, and gently placed her lips against Izaki's. In the beginning, Izaki didn't move. Slowly reality started to fall down on her as she realized what was happening. But she didn't try to change it. Instead, she softly kissed Nitsuki back.

The door to Izaki's room banged open at that moment. Izaki hadn't been paying attention to the thoughts around her and how dangerously close they'd been coming. It was far too late to turn back.