"Hey girl, I love your hair. That is some bubblegum princess realness."
Bowser leaned over the fence separating Ganondorf's yard from the house next door. Without looking up from her phone, Peach raised her hand for a fistbump. Bowser tapped her knuckles and shot a glance at her screen.
"Are you picking out a filter?"
"Here, get in the picture with me. I want a high-angle shot."
Bowser took the phone and raised it above their heads as Peach pressed her face against his. They made the requisite duck lips as the shutter clicked.
"Okay, great," Peach said, tapping at her screen. "This is going straight on Instagram. Hashtag 'vintage nerd.'"
"How about hashtag 'annoying hipster girl'?"
"I'm sorry, did you just crawl out of the nineties, or is Jurassic Park open again?"
"Respect your elders or I will cut you."
Ganondorf opened his front door and stepped out. The evening air was hot and muggy. "Bowser, can you please go one day without threatening my neighbors?"
Peach smiled at him. "Hi Mr. Dragmire! Link is over at our house helping us get ready."
Ganondorf scanned his eyes over Peach's dress and heels. "Are you girls going out? Isn't it a school night?"
Peach stared at him and burst out laughing. "The semester just ended. We're celebrating. Do you want to come with us?"
"I think I'll pass."
"I'll go with you," Bowser offered.
"Yeah, you're not invited."
Zelda emerged from Peach's house, holding Link's hand. Samus followed after her, pausing to lock the door behind them.
"Hi Bowser," Zelda said, lifting Link over the fence and passing him to Ganondorf. "Is Junior with you?"
"He's back in the house having a snack. What are you girls doing this summer?"
"I'm working in the library as a research assistant," Zelda answered.
"I just got my rock climbing instructor certification," Peach said.
Samus walked over to join them. "I signed a contract as a booth babe."
"What?" Ganondorf and Bowser asked at the same time.
"I wear a bright blue faux leather body suit and hand out flyers."
"That can't be a real thing," Ganondorf grimaced.
"Everything in life is a simulacrum," Samus calmly assured him.
Zelda and Peach hugged Samus from both sides.
"Samus is such a space cadet," Peach said.
"That's why we love her," Zelda added.
"Look, Dad," Link interrupted, "Zelda did my nails." He held his hands up to show off his sparkly green polish.
"Why does he sit still for you?" Ganondorf asked, his eyebrows furrowed.
"Link is such a cutie pie," Zelda said, and the boy beamed at her.
Ganondorf set Link down so that he could join Junior inside. He watched his neighbors walk away towards the train station. Bowser was fiddling with his phone.
"Did you get a text from Ghirahim?" Ganondorf asked him.
"He says he's going to be another hour. Something about getting a drink with his boss."
"That guy is worthless."
"He really is," Bowser agreed. "It's a good thing I brought groceries instead of waiting for him to show up with takeout." He picked up the canvas bag sitting beside him. Ganondorf held the front door open and followed him into the kitchen. Bowser rummaged inside the refrigerator and took out two bottles of beer. Footsteps pounded overhead.
"It sounds like they're having fun," he said, sitting down at the table.
"I'll drink to that."
They clinked the necks of their bottles together.
"Hey Gan," Bowser said, flipping the bottle cap between his claws. "Do you ever miss being in college?" He frowned and then continued. "Do you think we had more fun when we used to stay up all night drinking and plotting world domination?"
There was a loud crashing sound overhead, followed by more stomping feet and a barrage of war cries.
"No," Ganondorf responded, completely deadpan. "Young people are stupid."
There was a moment of silence before Bowser snorted and they both started laughing.
