As Feliciano watched the other soldiers unload Feliks, he couldn't help but feel bad for the terrified Polish man. He wanted to help him in any way he could. He wanted to prove that he really wasn't a bad person, but he didn't know how to.
"What are they going to do with him, Ludwig?" Feliciano asked when he was alone with his Lieutenant. "They're not going to kill him, are they?"
"Why does it matter?" Ludwig asked him. "He's a prisoner, and he's getting what's been coming to him."
"What's his crime?" Feliciano demanded, eyes serious and expression stern. "What did that man do wrong?"
"Did you see the way he was dressed?" Ludwig demanded, gesturing in the direction that Feliks was taken. "Did you not notice how he looked at Toris Laurinaitis as if he were in love with him?"
"And you think those two things should be punishable by death?!" Feliciano angrily demanded. "People can't help things like that!" He quickly lowered his voice. "Ludwig, don't you understand how wrong and sick this is?"
"I don't understand what has you so upset," Ludwig firmly answered. "And if you're going to stay this upset about it, you can return to the barracks and not come next time."
Feliciano gave him a look as if he wanted to set him ablaze. "You are just the worst," he snarled at his superior. "Why can't you see that this is wrong? This is all wrong! We're not the heroes!"
"I think you listened to him a little more than you should have," Ludwig answered. "Because isn't that what the bad guy would want you to think?" He smirked at Feliciano and simply walked away.
The young Italian just stood there and frowned. "It's not right," he muttered to himself. "What is being done to Feliks just isn't right…" He then stalked off after Ludwig, giving the German the satisfaction of winning, if only for the time being.
.
Feliciano felt as if he were going to go insane as he sat in on the meeting where they were discussing what to do with Feliks. Their attitude toward the prisoner was making him sick, and he wanted to just get up and shout at all of his superiors. It was just awful, the inhumane things they were discussing doing to that poor man.
"He deserves proper medical treatment," Feliciano suddenly piped up.
"Feliciano!" Ludwig scoldingly whispered in an attempt to make his quiet down, nudging him in the ribs with his elbow.
"What was that?" General Roeder asked from the front of the meeting room.
"I said that he needs proper medical treatment," Feliciano repeated. "His arm was broken while we were capturing him."
"I don't give a damn what happened to his arm!" Roeder bark at Feliciano.
Feliciano jumped to his feet, unable to stand it anymore. "We're the ones who broke it! We need to fix it!" he countered. "I thought this was about keeping people safe!"
"Keeping the Axis safe!" Roeder said. "Stand down, Major Vargas!"
Just as Feliciano was about to say something else, Ludwig grabbed him by the back of his uniform and ripped him back down into his chair. "Have you lost your fucking mind?!" he hissed into Feliciano's ear. "That man broke the law, and now you expect to get him pampered?!"
"That man did nothing wrong," Feliciano grumbled.
"Leave this meeting, Major," Roeder commanded. "That is an order." He pointed toward the door. "Until you learn to respect your superiors and this military, you can wait in the hallway."
Feliciano left the room calmly. He didn't make the gigantic ruckus that he had wanted to. His mind immediately went to Feliks. He wondered how their prisoner was doing. Was he scared? What was going on with him? He was so worried that he felt sick. There was nothing more that he wanted than to go and search for him, but he knew that would be suspicious and that he would get into a lot of trouble for it. But he couldn't help but feel so damn useless.
He sat against the wall until the meeting let out and he felt Ludwig kick him in the leg with his steel-toed boot. Feliciano didn't have to look up at the look on Ludwig's face to know that he had gotten his Lieutenant in trouble with what had happened in the meeting. In fact, Feliciano didn't want to look up at Ludwig, or even talk to him for that matter. He just wanted to be left alone with his thoughts of uselessness.
"Get up, Vargas," Ludwig said, digging the toe of his boot into Feliciano's leg once more. "We have things to discuss."
"Not here. Not now," Feliciano simply said, staring at his own feet. He didn't want to talk with Ludwig because he knew that his superior would never understand. It wasn't that Ludwig wasn't capable of understanding, it was that Ludwig followed orders, not ideas.
"Your attitude today will not go unnoticed," Ludwig stated, standing before Feliciano. "Now get up. That is an order, Major Vargas."
With a groan, Feliciano rose to his feet. "Let me guess, I'm running again?" he asked.
"We are going to go and talk," Ludwig answered. "I want to know what the fuck made you think it would be okay to say things like that. Now follow me."
Feliciano knew he wouldn't be able to argue against Ludwig, so he obediently followed after him. His heart was racing. He had never been in this much trouble with Ludwig before. Everything he had learned since joining this squadron told him that he was going to be hurting the next morning. Ludwig was going to make him pay for what he had said in the stupid meeting; yet for some reason, Feliciano didn't care at all. Something in his mind told him that if he was persistent enough with his words, Ludwig might possibly understand at least a little bit.
They soon found themselves walking around a field outside of the base. The sunlight shone down on them, making both of them feel so hot that they unbuttoned their jackets a little. Feliciano kicked at the rocks at his feet as they walked.
Ludwig broke the silence after awhile. "What made you think it would be okay to suggest that we give our prisoner medical care as if he were one of our own?"
"Doesn't everyone deserve medical care when in that bad of health?" Feliciano asked, determined not to look up at the handsome man looking down at him. He knew that if he gave in and looked up, he wouldn't be able to resist falling for Ludwig's charm and agreeing with him. At that moment, he needed to stick to his guns, for Feliks's sake. "You'll never be a hero," was the only thing keeping his head down at that time.
"Not when you're a prisoner," Ludwig answered.
"What was his crime again?" Feliciano asked. "Loving someone the same gender as himself? Dressing differently from others? What was so bad, Ludwig? I just can't bring myself to understand why people would do something so hateful to someone who never did any harm to another person."
Ludwig was quiet for a moment, trying to think of a proper response to that. "What he did was against the law. The law exists for a reason."
"The law is fucking bullshit," Feliciano spat, glaring at his boots as he walked. "This is so stupid. Feliks did nothing wrong. You realize we're not the heroes here, right?"
"What do you mean?" Ludwig asked, voice unsure.
"We're not the heroes. No one sees us as that," Feliciano repeated. "Feliks told me that when we were in the prisoner car on the way back to Berlin. We are the villains when we do hateful things like that!"
"We are not villains, Feliciano," Ludwig argued. "You and I are doing what is right for our countries."
"Right in whose eyes?" Feliciano asked him, finally daring to look up at him.
Ludwig was silent as he thought. "What is your problem with the laws all of a sudden, Feliciano?"
"They're not fair to the people who are different, Ludwig," he simply answered. "It's not fair that people have to suffer because they're not the same as and don't prefer the same as everyone else. It's just not fair."
"Nothing about life is fair." Ludwig's voice was stern yet monotonous, as if he were repeating something that had been recited to him before. "And why do you suddenly care about the preferences of other people?"
Feliciano kept his mouth shut. There was no way he could be open about his personal preferences.
"I asked you a question," Ludwig insisted. "It is an order that you answer."
"Have you ever met a man who prefered men?" Feliciano suddenly asked him. "As in a man who fell in love with men instead of women. And what I mean by met is, have you ever been close to one who does?"
Ludwig thought pretty hard about it. "I might have," he finally answered. "I no longer have contact with him, though. We lost contact years ago when he decided to live his life in that way. It was dangerous for us to keep contact because I knew I would have to capture him eventually."
Feliciano felt his heart ache for Ludwig. From the tone of his superior's voice, he could tell that Ludwig cared deeply for the person. "Who was he?"
"Mein Bruder," Ludwig answered, frowning. "I don't even know what happened to him. Our parents were always so proud of me, but they were never proud of Gilbert. And then when they caught Gilbert kissing another man about five years ago, I thought they were going to kill him. That was when he left."
"And you haven't seen or heard from him since?" Feliciano asked.
Ludwig shook his head. "It's better that way. At least he's not in danger if they can't find him." He frowned. "Is it wrong of me to miss him, even though his way of life is against all I stand for?"
"It's not," Feliciano assured him. "Someone I know and love is like that as well." He frowned. "I would never give out where he is or any information like that. All I want is for him to be safe so I can still be friends with him after the war."
Ludwig let out a small, noncommittal hum. "I guess so."
"I have a question for you?" Feliciano stated.
"What is it?"
"Would you want to deny that man medical treatment still if he were your brother and not a prisoner from Poland?" Feliciano asked. He was almost nervous for overstepping his boundaries, but he needed to know.
The German was quiet for a very long time. "No," he finally answered. "But that's different."
"How?" Feliciano asked. "Feliks loves men as well. Feliks didn't hurt anyone. All he did was just be different from the rest of the people around him."
"It's different because…" Ludwig's voice trailed off as he tried to think of a good reason. Not having been able to come up with one, he sighed. "You got me, Feliciano. It's not different. I just wanted to believe that it was."
Feliciano nodded. "We all like to look away when matters don't concern us," he assured. "But there are people out there who care about Feliks the way you care about your brother and the way I care about my friend. What can we say or do for them?"
Ludwig was quiet. "The only ones who cared for Feliks were those disgusting Jews."
"So you hate them for not believing the same thing you do?" Feliciano asked. He thought for a moment. "Let's save that prejudice for another day, actually." He sighed. "Ludwig, my point is, Feliks is just another man, like you and me. He did nothing wrong. So why does he have to suffer?"
"Because that's the way the world is," Ludwig answered.
"Then I wish it wasn't."
.
That night, Feliciano laid awake in his bunk for a long time. He thought about Feliks and Ludwig's brother. He then thought of himself. What was he going to do? He couldn't hide his homosexuality forever. But what could he do about it? There was no way he could ever tell Ludwig.
Then again, his conversation with Ludwig had brought them even closer than they were before it. Ludwig had even forgotten to punish Feliciano for acting up during the meeting! That had to count for something, because Ludwig never forgot things like that.
The more Feliciano thought about Ludwig, though, the more in love he fell. He couldn't help himself. Ludwig was just so perfect. He was tall, muscular, beautiful, everything that Feliciano wasn't. His blond hair was always in place and those beautiful, blue eyes always had a softness about them when looking at Feliciano. What was there to say? Feliciano was hopelessly in love, and there was no way to ever change that. He knew that he would never fall out of it.
.
The next morning, Ludwig sat down across the table from Feliciano as they ate. "About yesterday," he began.
"What about it?" Feliciano asked. He glanced up at Ludwig, hoping that he wasn't going to get a punishment now.
"Thank you for helping me realize a few things I otherwise wouldn't have known," Ludwig said after a moment. "I never would have realized how big of a deal a lot of that stuff was if it wasn't for you."
"No problem, sir," Feliciano said.
"No need to be formal right now," Ludwig said with a crooked smile. "It's just us here right now."
"That's right," Feliciano said, pretending to remind himself of the fact. "Silly me."
Ludwig chuckled to himself. "I wonder about you sometimes, Feliciano."
Feliciano looked up at him and smiled. "No need to wonder. I'm a mystery no one has ever figured out. Don't waste your time on it."
That caused Ludwig to actually laugh. "Maybe if I get some spare time, I might," he joked. "But in the meantime, keep being my right-hand man."
"Roger that," Feliciano told him, smiling. He mock saluted Ludwig.
Ludwig smiled back and mock saluted him in return. "How are you feeling today, Feliciano?"
"As good as can be expected," Feliciano said. Truth be told, it was the best he had felt since they had captured Feliks. He had finally gotten a good night's rest and was ready to face things. "When do we get our next assignment?"
"Who knows?" Ludwig asked with a shrug. "Our last one didn't turn out as expected, so I have no idea when they'll count on us again for something important."
"True," Feliciano sighed, pushing his food around his plate with his fork. He no longer felt hungry at the mention of that mission. "So what do we do while we wait?"
Ludwig sighed. "I have no idea." He shrugged. "Just sit around and clean or something?"
"That sounds so boring," Feliciano grumbled. He then heard someone playing music on the radio by the window. "Hear that Ludwig?" he asked. "There's music playing."
"Maybe the one who is waiting for you," the voice on the radio sang,
"Will prove untrue, then what will you do?
Maybe you'll sit and sigh,
Wishing that I were near.
Then maybe you'll ask me to come back again,
And maybe I will say maybe."
Feliciano's mood instantly perked up. "My nonno used to sing this song when I was younger!" he exclaimed. "I used to love it so much!" He began to hum along with the radio.
"I have never heard it," Ludwig admitted.
"But it's so good!" Feliciano insisted.
"Really now?"
Feliciano nodded and began to sing along. "Maybe you'll think of me
When you are all alone.
Maybe the one who is waiting for you
Will prove untrue, then what will you do?"
Ludwig looked around at the people staring at Feliciano. "Stop it, people are staring."
Feliciano grinned widely. "It's just a song, Ludwig. Why not sing and be merry for once? All we need is a bottle of wine and it would be like a party!"
"A party?" Ludwig asked. "You Italians sure are strange."
"Well you Germans just don't know how to have fun," Feliciano countered, suddenly regaining his appetite. He continued humming as he ate the rest of his breakfast.
Ludwig couldn't keep his smile from his face as he finished his breakfast as well. He could already tell that the day promised to be entertaining, even if they were stuck at the base until further notice.
.
Feliciano hummed and danced and sang all afternoon, but it was just that same song the whole time. It was as if he were a broken record that only knew one song. And even though Ludwig complained about it, he enjoyed it. It was a side of Feliciano that he didn't know existed.
Though Feliciano loved being the way he was acting, he didn't realize how much trouble he would get into for it. He forgot that it showed his true age.
