Following Blindly
Mercedes Lackey "Heralds of Valdamer" Fan Fiction
-Chapter 3-
Hethlight Barony did not have a carriage, though it did have a few wagons and enough fine breed horseflesh to supply a small army, so Dalila had one wagon prepared for passengers or rather a passenger. She had servants fill the bed with soft blankets and rugs, lining the side with pillows and attaching the waterproofed canvas roof in case they met foul weather on their way. Haven was at least a week's hard ride but that was only if one was traveling alone, and lightly. It would take them at least two weeks with a wagon carrying an unstable charge with whom they had to be careful came in no contact with no other men.
Ashlen's violent reaction to his father was not an isolated case, any man, and even boys, met similar fates; thankfully no one had been seriously injured. Shelen was well enough to ride and would do so while one of the older female cousins had volunteered to drive the wagon. After a light breakfast and some hushed and teary goodbyes they left Hethlight Barony.
Shelen was dressed in a pair of lightly tanned doe-skin ridding breeches, a clean while linen shirt and a vest that was a slight shade darker tan then his breeches. His mount was a gelding out of the line of the same stud that had caused the loss of his brothers sight, a well built, long legged beast with two striking white stocking on his front legs and a blaze that covered a majority of the horses otherwise liver chestnut face. He would have looked very handsome if he didn't look so worried. Hedda rode Krisotpher in her Heraldic uniform of white and her Companion shone as brilliantly as the day he was foaled, his blue eyes gleaming, and his silvery hooves striking chiming notes on the hard packed earth of the road. The wagon which held some of both of the boy belongings, and Ashlen himself, was pulled by a steady gray mare who was past her days of hard field work but could easily pull a light wagon with tireless effect.
Dalila had helped Asheln dress warmly, in a pair of loose fitting black pants and a slightly over large linen shirt. She herself had settled him in the wagon bed which had been made comfortable for him and had covered him in a light blanket, hugging him softly before she backed out of the wagon bed and placed a kiss on Shelens cheek. Dalila offered only a steady, trusting look to Hedda which was more than enough of a goodbye for the older woman. She knew that her niece was doing all she could not to break into tears as she watched them ride away and was sure that she would as soon as they were out of site. Hedda did not look back, but the twitch of Kristophers ears and the soft whisper of his mind in hers told her that Dalila had indeed fallen into hysterics against her husband as soon as they were gone though the high walls that closed off the main area around the Hethlight Barony from the farmland and forests that surrounded it.
Ashlen had managed a week goodbye to his mother, though he didn't think she heard him. He could feel the tension in her, the careful way she hugged him as though he might shatter if she pressed to hard. Or maybe it was fear she had felt, of him and not for him, that made her hug him so carefully. But he could not hate her for it; he could almost hear her thoughts as she pulled away. 'I may never see you again, my baby, but I will always, always love you.' It was faint and rather had to make out but it was there and it comforted him as she pulled away and backed out of the wagon bed. He had wanted to tell his father goodbye but he felt the man was far too proud to make a public display of affection, and he may just as well have been flung across the courtyard had he tried anything anyway, a fact Ashlen could not help and had no mind too. He did not love his father the same way he loved his mother, and somewhere he knew that it was wrong to hold mistakes against a man but the loss of his eyesight had been a heavy blow and his father's apparent lack of concern had not helped matters in the least.
It was their difference in opinions on their father that had started shifting the twins apart when they were younger, and Ashlen knew that his brother was as stubborn as he was, if not more so, and would never concede a point to anyone who argued against him on something he felt entirely certain about. There were many times that Ashlen had wanted to patch things up with his brother but whenever he had tried it became a trivial argument that, once he realized what it was, he would excuse himself from by either walking away frustrated or refusing to argue anymore by growing silent. This tended to make Shelen angrier it seemed, and they had drifted further and further apart until they hardly spoke. Now if felt as if Shelen was inside him all the time, that he could reach for his brother and he would be there before he could breath. 'Ashlen, I am sorry…' his brothers' voice said as he felt his twin looking at him from where he must have been riding just behind the wagon. And Ashlen couldn't help but start, turning to look in the direction in which he heard the hooves of his brother mount thudding dully in the dirt.
Had he really heard his brothers' voice in his head? No, no he must have imagined it.
'this is all my fault, I should never have let him leave that morning, I should have gone after him, I knew there were bandits in the woods. My fault.' Ashlen heard as he tried to focus. It was Shelen. There was no one else who would blame himself for things he could have done nothing about in the first place.
"No." He said hoarsely, not having spoken since before he had been… hurt. "It is not your fault Shelen. Nothing was your fault."
There was a sputtering sound, perhaps Shelen hadn't expected him to speak? He hadn't said anything wrong… no but now he felt as if he should have said nothing anyway. He sighed, turned away from what he knew to be the back of the wagon, lay down, and pretended to be asleep.
Shelen had no idea how to respond to his brother who hadn't said a word to anyone since before the… incident. He cringed just recalling it, and though calling it by a different name didn't do any real good it made him feel just a little better not having to call it what it was. He felt a twinge of pain, but it wasn't physical, he felt it with his mind as if peering through a silk screened window. It was Ashlen, he knew, somewhere, that's what this pain was and he had caused it… again.
The young heir rode up to the front of their little caravan and matched stride beside Hedda and Kristopher. The Companion was graciously keeping himself at a slow walk, it might have been called a plod if it were a normal horse but the eerie white creature was far too graceful for that. After a good stretch of land had passed by them he decided to start a conversation, despite the fact that Hedda was the one relative that visited on a regular basis, he knew hardly anything about the old Herald.
"Aunt…"
"Come now Shelen, you are much too shy for a young man of your caliber. Out with it."
"Ah.." Shelen paused, having lost his train of thought. "What is Haven like?"
"That's the best you can come up with dear? Oh fine, fair enough. Haven is like any other city, Shelen, it has its dark side and its bright side. It has a fair share of crooks and good Samaritans, wealthy, poor, etcetera excreta. But what makes Haven so different is the diversity of its population, Shelen, We have Karsites, Imperials, Holderkin, Rethwalens, Hawkbrothers, and even Griffins. But I'm sure you know that already don't you?"
"Yes, mama."
"Haven is big, Shelen, very big. And very busy. There is three times as much traffic though that one city than any other in all of Valdemar. It's also easy to get lost in. King Valdemar designed that city with its defense in mind; there is not a single direct route to the palace ground from any entrance."
"It sounds gloomy." Said the female cousin driving the wagon, obviously she had been listening too.
'It sounds perfect.' said a whispered voice in Shelen's mind, was that sarcasm he heard dripping?
"Then why do all those people live there?" He added, shooting a look past the cousin into the back of the wagon.
"Dears, Haven isn't half as bad as one would think, it has running water, a courteous watch, many lively taverns and shops. There are very few people who are not happy there. Just wait until you see the palace grounds. Ho ho! They are the reason I stayed in Haven even after I'd retired. You'll like it, just you wait."
'we'll see.' said that sarcastic voice in the back of his mind and Shelen rolled his eyes.
The trip to Haven was long but, thankfully, without incident. It was obvious from the occasional sighs and "oo's" of Shelen and the female cousin , who turned out to be a girl named Gretta, that Haven was every bit as impressive as Great-Aunt Hedda had said it would be. Ashlen wished for a moment that he could see it to but struck down that foolish fantasy quickly and with very little thought. He could hear the noises of the city, they echoed dully of the walls and buildings. Bright, cheery, and full of well wishes for them as they passed. He should have been excited; happy to be in a place where he couldn't possibly be the strangest person the citizens had seen. But every time the voice of a man sounded off to close to the wagon he would jerk away from the sound, retreating into himself a little further. Damn, he hated this place already.
"Halt." said a masculine voice somewhere ahead of them; they must be at a gate. The wagon rolled gently to a stop.
"Good afternoon gentlemen." That was Hedda…
"Hello lady Herald, who is this with you?"
"My two nephews and their wagon driver, Gretta. I believe I sent word of our arrival ahead of us."
"Yes mama, we heard you should be coming in soon. Go on though."
"Thank you."
'Their security sure is lax, what if she were just an imposter disguised as a Herald?' Ashlen thought. 'They would never have suspected a thing.' The wagon was moving again now, along with his thoughts, he felt the eyes of the guardsmen as they stared into the back of the wagon. He creased his eyebrows in a frown and turned away.
"Ashlen, is something wrong?"
'why would anything be wrong?' he turned away from his brothers voice, inwardly wishing to just be left alone.
"All right." Shelen said with a sigh, his mount gave a muted whicker. Something was coming. Ashlen could hear more chiming hooves like Kristophers, and then their party came to a halt.
'Ashlen, get out of the wagon.' Shelen's voice prompted in the back of his mind
'How exactly do you expect me to do that?' he shot back, glaring blindly though the canvas.
'I shall assist you.' This was a new voice, one he'd never heard before. It was a strong, sweet, motherly female voice and with it came a strange kind of reassurance. Ashlen eased himself up onto his knees and crawled slowly forward. A lot of his muscles protested as most of them were still feeling the effects the rape, bruised and battered inside and out. 'There you go, reach for me now.' she said and he lifted one hand reaching out slowly when he felt the edge of the wagon and its short tailgate until his fingers brushed against something as soft as velvet. He reached farther, feeling the warm, short, silky fur under his palm. He let his other hand join the first and felt her face. A horse.
'Now see here, what horse has such a fine face as mine!' she said indigently, a hot burst of air ruffled his loose shirt as she snorted in mock anger.
'None, I'm sure you are beautiful.' he said, the corners of his mouth twitching up slightly.
'Much better.' He felt a smile in her voice. 'Now follow my nose with your hand.'
He did, letting her guide him to the edge of the tail-gate so that he could climb over, it was the first time he'd gotten out of the wagon without Gretta's help and he let his bare foot search for the ground helplessly before carefully lowering himself onto the smooth dirt below. He clung to and leaned on the back of the wagon, while keeping one hand on her soft nose, his legs were shaky and kept threatening to dump him into the dirt.
'Wonderful, well done.' She said in his head, a wash of enthusiastic approval accompanying her simple praise. He started a bit as she forced her fine head against him, letting her forehead rest on his chest.
'My wonderful, brave, Ashlen. My name is Foalalia. I Chose you.'
