"Earthbound"

All characters property of Mutant Enemy, and the WB and any other corporate masters. I don't own them I just put them in fun situations. Archived on Twisting the Hellmouth and YAHF. Xander Harris dresses as a mild mannered reporter with unexpected results.

A/N: Whew! Thanks so much for everything. Keep up the feedback guys, it really helps me stay on target! This chapter is a little late due to my computer almost burning to slag and work issues, but I got all of that fixed. Some of you can see which way the wind is blowing, I can only hope that I can retain everyone's interest! This chapter kind of got away from me a bit, exposition overload in someways. You've been warned.

Clark Kent's apartment, 2010(Local dimension time) , Earth 3-18

"So you're saying I look like a vampire?"

Clark rolled his eyes, Bruce could be such a pain when he wanted to be.

"No, I'm just saying that wherever I was, this Angel guy looked like you and he was a vampire."

Diana came from the kitchen, eating what was left of the pizza that the three friends had ordered.

"You know Bruce, the whole thing does sound like he's calling you a blood sucking fiend..."

Clark just threw a magazine at the Amazon princess. "Oh be quiet, your highness. Or I'll be forced to tell Bruce all of stuff that Xander knew about his world's version of you."

"What? The whole bondage thing? Pff. Like you scare me. He'd probably like it," the raven haired beauty intoned archly.

Bruce, not to be outdone, smoothly whispered into Diana's ear, knowing that Clark would hear, "Maybe you just want me to," using his sultry playboy persona, "also, you have sauce on your chin."

Diana's sun bronzed skin flushed and she swatted at Bruce and wiped her face, in that order. All three of the friends laughed and Clark spared a moment for Xander Harris, hoping the boy was well.

The Kryptonian assumed that since he'd gotten a fair amount of Xander's memories and knowledge he figured that Xander must have retained something from Clark as well. He wished that he knew how the boy was doing.

Then Clark tried yet again to combat the intense craving for twinkies the teen had also left in Clark's mind.

Elsewhere

Xander opened his eyes to a room filled with cool silver light. He had awakened in that way that happens so rarely, one moment asleep, the next awake. As he studied the room, Xander realized that it was his room.

The astronomy books on the desk, the dark blue curtains, even the bed frame that had broken so many times was still here. Xander rolled out of bed and found an old ultramarine blue flannel that he hadn't seen in years. Shrugging on the loved shirt and some jeans he set about rediscovering "his" room.

One wall had been covered with deep field star pictures and star charts as well as ancient ruins. Machu Pichu, Phu Phek, Kunya Urgench...plenty more that Xander remembered seeing through Clark's memories.

Clark always did have a penchant for ancient civilizations.

Xander perused bookcase, his mind whirling with the sagging shelves contents. Each of the the shelves was layered and stuffed with different genres: The bottom shelf held all of the textbooks, the next one up was full of foreign language course books. The higher shelves got into some theoretical stuff before going into play scripts, sci-fi and fantasy.

Xander thumbed through a well read copy of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead and smiled at the fond memories it brought back of how he and Pete had made Lana laugh with it.

Shaking off the nostalgia, Xander heard noises in the kitchen below and cautiously made his way to the stairs. The farmhouse looked and smelled exactly the same, but the strange fog out every window made Xander curious. He heard some light conversation in the kitchen and dared to hope that all of this was real, that his parents would be in that kitchen making breakfast, his dad ready to give him a hard time for sleeping so late.

Turning the corner of the stairwell he didn't even realize that he'd been holding his breath.

Unfortunately for Xander, the Kent home was not housing his parents (or Clark's parents, as it were) but instead a strange couple of characters. An elderly man stood watch over the stove, mixing and frying various dishes, while a girl slightly younger than Xander sat at the dining table.

The man had a certain vitality in his face, from Xander's vantage, and was clothed in soft silvery linen trousers and collared shirt.

The girl was another thing altogether. Elfin in face, she had silver white hair that flowed down her back. She was wearing a deep purple sweater and a bright green miniskirt, finished off with knee high athletic socks and purple canvas high tops.

Xander was still deciding how to proceed when that girl saw him. Xander had seen some interesting stuff on the Hellmouth, but this girls eyes were up there. For all purposes they were fairly normal, but the irises were glowing bright green. Somehow, despite this oddity, the eyes still conveyed a sense of whimsy, possibly a touch of insanity from Xander's view point.

"Well McGurk, are you going to hide there all day, or are you going to have some breakfast," the teen chirped mischievously.

The man at the stove turned and a huge smile burst forth from his face when he saw Xander.

"Come in, come in," The man pulled himself away from the stove and ushered Xander to the table that felt so very much like home. "What will it be my boy? Pancakes? Porridge? Perhaps some pears?"

Xander eyed the two with some trepidation, "Uh, alliteration aside," the girl smirked at Xander's joke, "I guess I'd like an explanation."

"Of course, of course, where are my manners," the man smacked his own forehead and sighed mournfully, "you know, you avoid interacting with mortals for a few thousand years and it's like learning to ride a bike all over again!"

The ethereal girl just shook her head with the disdain that all youth has for the slightly bumbling and laughed. "Sorry Xander, allow me so he can get back to making food," the girl stressed.

The old man clucked humorously and got back to making various delicious smelling dishes. " Don't mind her, son. She just got here and apparently has been having a hard month..."

The girl hissed and threw some silverware at the man before Xander cleared his throat pointedly.

"Oh right, sorry," the girl blushed at getting off track. "The old fuddy-"

"Hey!"

"-duddy is Janus."

From the stove Xander heard some laughter, "Pardon my companion, Xander, this is Mxyzp-"

"Don't say it old man," the girl warned before chomping into an apple from the center of the table.

"Sorry dear, I mean to say, Mxyia"

Xander suddenly felt a chill run through him. Suddenly this trip down memory lane started to seem like a very dangerous place.

"Hold the phone," Xander leapt to his feet, backing up against the nearest wall, "you mean to tell me that you're Janus, as in the god," the suddenly less kind(in Xander's eyes) old man smiled, "and you're Mxyzpt-"

"Mxyia," the girl interjected sternly.

Xander just ran his hand through his hair. This could be a long day.

"Xander, relax," Janus said warmly. "Have a seat lad. Now seriously, pancakes or waffles?'

"Uhh, pancakes. Blueberry if Mom- I mean Martha has any in the fridge." Xander sat down cautiously, expecting for a tiger to maul him just on principle.

Janus started humming a cheerful song that men forgot at least 1,500 years ago and searched the refrigerator while Mxyia giggled behind her hand at Xander's unease.

"Seriously Xander, we aren't going to hurt you. Point of fact is that we're giving you a time out before things start to get really weird."

"More weird than hanging out in my- I mean Clark Kent's- childhood home with two beings of incredible power and dubious morality? Please, enlighten me."

Janus chuckled at the stove as he mixed blueberries into the batter. "Mxyia, why don't we wait until after breakfast dear."

The silver haired teen shook her head before Xander's curiosity got the best of him.

"What's the deal Mxyz-, sorry, Mxyia? I thought you were supposed to be a little man or something, y'know, on top of being fictional above all else."

"Pff, fiction. Anybody can be fiction, Xander. It takes someone who is as talented as myself to be real." Mxyia dismissively waved, "As for the girl thing...what can I say? A plan over on Earth 56 or CW or something went kablooie in my face."

Xander gave Mxyia a look that brooked no stone left unturned.

"Oh fine," she pouted "I turned all of the Superman gang into teen aged female versions of themselves. Can I just say, Claire Kent can be a real bitch."

Xander burst out laughing at Mxyia's pout. Somehow he'd never thought that the imp could seem so...human. Not after reading as many comics as he had.

"No seriously! She's a total hair puller! And Ginny Olsen? I think she's kinda gay."

Xander's eyebrows shot upwards at the slur.

"No! Not in a bad way, I mean, she was totally hitting on me and stuff! Lois Lane had to remind Ginny that I was the quote- un-quote bad guy."

Xander smirked and took notice of Janus trying to hold in his own laughter.

"Well what about Lex Luthor?"

"Alexandria?" Mxyia frowned, "You know, it didn't really phase her that much. I can only assume what that means about Lex in that world..."

Xander shook his head, his mind going over all of the times that the Clark he had been had butted heads with Lex. In that universe, Lex had been almost asexual, all of his time spent pushing Lexcorp further and further, trying to amass power for his various dark deeds. Suddenly an uncomfortable thought danced through his mind.

"Hey, uh, Mxyia? That wouldn't be the same universe as the one I, uh..."

"Oh no way! No that universe is like this weird total soap opera all the time. Sometimes you can almost see the boom dropping into your line of sight. And it seems to be stuck in the eighties too...in any case, they got me to transform myself as well and I guess I just kind of like it."

Xander eyed the "girl" in front of him with no small curiosity. Things were just going to keep getting more bizarre in his life, it seemed.

Janus deposited plates at the table with an excited flourish.

"Breakfast is served!"

The three ate in a cautious silence, Xander relishing the tastes of the Kent kitchen as they synced with his borrowed memories. He would occasionally try and look out through the windows through the impenetrable silver fog, but he could never make out the comforting shapes of the barn or Kent orchard.

Xander new that "his" Clark had never run into Mxy, but it seemed that the imp or sprite had a vested interest in Kal-El of Krypton, no matter the reality. But as Xander had only been said kryptonian for a few hours he couldn't understand why he was here now.

"Because McGurk, you're Xander Harris, but you're him as well- thanks to Halloween and Ethan Rayne."

Xander jumped in shock as he helped Janus clean up. He peered at the girl, slight fear on his face before she blew an errant strand of hair from her eyes.

"Yes, I read your mind, silly. First of all you're unconscious and Janus and I are in your head, second of all, I'm a tenth level intellect and it's not hard to trace out your thoughts."

"Xander," Janus started, "Mxyia and I have come to you because you've just had an experience which is going to set your destiny in motion and I decided that as your benefactor, you could use a slight Deus Ex Machina before things got ahead of you."

Xander pursed his lips before motioning for the god to continue. While the unchanged Xander Harris would have been screaming for answers, Xander...Kent, for lack of a better term was exercising caution.

'The fact is Xander, you used to not have a destiny. My disciples spell however forged an inordinate level of Chaos to the earth realms that you exist in and you have started to sway events away from the ineffectual and nebulous PTB's plan."

Xander thought hard before answering, "So you two have essentially hijacked me to, what? Cause entertainment? Stir things up? Why?"

"Because your free will caused you to pick a costume that would change everything," Mxyia stated plainly, "You created a chain of events with your choice that has obliterated the scales of balance."

Xander paled and sat roughly. How could he have been so stupid? He was responsible for-"

"Before you get all worried about this son, I think you should see something." Janus gently touched Xander's head with his hand and Xander was flooded with what would have been. He saw each moment separately but as part of a huge tapestry that was full of pain. Seconds afterwards he lost many of the images of the future that was to be but the present he would have been living made his heart hurt.

Xander had seen a version of Career Day where instead of talking to the EIC of the Sunnydale Gazette about an internship, he had been a bumbling frustrated wreck who had been snidely shot down by Principal Snyder and Cordelia as little more than a waste of space. He had seen Willow get closer to Oz (which had started happening anyways) but in a way that Xander saw as more painful somehow. But the images that disturbed him the most, he couldn't not comment on.

"So I was supposed to make out with Cordelia Chase?"

The two higher beings burst out laughing at the boy's disbelief.

"You would eventually figure into making her take a path that would be...painful for many," Janus stated. "As of now, her path is being re-tooled. Probably to the life she would have led had a 'Power That Was' not taken an interest in young Miss Chase."

"Still...kissing her is weird. Why anyone thought that she and I...yeeuch. She seemed odd in the basement during the bug guy thing, but I wasn't getting that kind of vibe from her."

Mxyia sighed wistfully, "You two did make a kind of cute couple though...especially if you would have gone with her when you really start to change..."

"Okay what is that riff? You keep referring to a change or things changing? How is having Clark's memories going to change me? It's not like I'm going to grow four inches and start shooting lasers from my eyes."

Janus and Mxyia shuffled awkwardly before Xander's jaw dropped. "Why has no one corrected me?"

Mxyia stepped forward and with a wave one wall of the "Kent kitchen" became a smooth surface where images began to appear.

Without words Xander watched as images of Halloween flowed over the screen. He remembered the feeling of emptiness as Clark went away after the spell broke but say what Janus and Mxyia were trying to tell him. Xander saw that by becoming Clark Kent for the short time in the dimension full of magic created an unexpected side effect.

Clark Kent was raised on Earth but he was a Kryptonian at the end of the day. Whether or not he had processed any radiation of a yellow star, his DNA was different. Xander had been a depowered Kryptonian, yes, but when Clark left he left behind his exact bio chemistry is Xander's body, thanks to the magic and Kryptonian weakness to the mysterious force.

Xander remembered what he'd been doing before waking up in the farmhouse. He remembered the Vampires, Thanksgiving, all of it. He knew now why they had reacted the way they did and he remembered Angel's question.

What are you?

Xander Harris, of Sunnydale California, was the only Kryptonian in his dimension.

Halloween had turned him into an alien.

Looking at Janus and Mxyia, Xander could think of only one thing to say.

"Cool."

A/N 2- Thanks for reading, I've tried re-doing this chapter, scrapping it, bringing it back, but I still like it even if it breaks the flow a little. It's all part of how I see this Alternate Universe I'm trying to build and I hope y'all will stick with me. I wanted to get this out, so the next chapter will be back in the "real" world, I promise. Some of my line breaks are still funny here on please tell me if it's a problem in reading, thanks!