Disclaimer: We own absolutely nothing!
A/N Tinuviel Undomiel: Only one review so far? That's a shame, but I can live with it. We're not just writing for all of you but for ourselves as well. I love it when I look back at what I've just written and say "Whoa, did I really write that?" Anyways, poor Jan is slipping even further into madness as her search for Kyle continues to bear no fruit. And the same time, a darkness is beginning to form that will follow her and Kyle until they destroy it or become destroyed themselves. Dun dun DUN!
A/N Nerwen Aldarion: We just can't let this story go, I can't believe we wrote this last chapter so fast but hey you guys are the ones who benefit in the end and I love writing so there aren't any complaints here. With each chapter I get more and more excited, I love dark and gloomy Jan, it's fun showing the tough as nails pilot breaking down, it's a side that we never get to see. I hope that everyone likes this fic and I hope that people will draw inspiration from it as well.
Shanesnest: Awww you gave us the ultimate compliment, but we're no where near ready to publish anything for real! But then again who knows? We are so glad that you love this fic and as our only reviewer so far that makes it extra special. We really hope that this gives you some ideas for the continuation of The Rise and Fall, after all our obbsessive nature with these two partners has made us a treasure trove of usless but cool information LOL. Keep reading, we think you'll enjoy the ride ahead.
On another note, as inspiration for the pain that Jan is going through we recommend listening to Need by Hana Pestle and or My Immortal by Evanescence. Both songs really capture the emotions that Jan is feeling, it's easy to see her struggles within the lyrics of these songs. Check them out.
Chapter 2: Deny, Deny, Deny
No leads.
How could there be no leads? Kyle was out there somewhere and no one knew anything about a Jedi running around with a green lightsaber who left behind a friend who was now going crazy with worry? This couldn't be.
Jan was hard at work creating more notices to have posted through out the galaxy. She thought about putting Kyle's name and picture, but Luke had suggested months ago that this would send Kyle into an even deeper hole where she'd never find him. Dare she risk it all?
No, she wasn't that desperate yet, but she was well on her way there. Instead she just put down a reward for anything about Jedi, weapons or person, and followed that with her trans-number.
She'd planned on sending it immediately but the signal of her hologram pad warned her that a message was soon coming. It was Mon Mothma.
"Jan, are you there?"
She stepped into view. "Yes, Mon Mothma?"
"Would you please come to my office immediately?"
A spark of hope gleamed into Jan's blue eyes. "Is it Kyle? Have you found something?"
"I'm afraid that I have no news on Kyle," she replied solemnly, "Please come so we can talk."
Jan's heart seemed to sink out of her chest and plop onto the floor. Still no Kyle. It had been over six months and still nothing. How could this be? He was somewhere, why was it that he eluded her so well?
"Jan? Jan? Are you still there?"
She realized that Mon Mothma was still online and needed a reply to her message. "Yeah, sure I'll be there."
"Excellent. I look forward to seeing you."
Mon Mothma's image blinked out, leaving Jan without any form of human contact. It was strange. Before she met Kyle she had been just as alone as she was now, why was it that she was so lonesome now? Every bit of being seemed to ache without Kyle being near. She was afraid to sleep because he haunted her dream. It was getting harder and harder to take her mind off of Kyle and where he could be.
Jan worried over him as she locked up her apartment and hailed down a transport to take her to the capital building. What if Kyle was hurt? Or captured by the Remnant? Or worse, the Sith? Trouble had seemed to stalk him around every corner, but she'd always been there to watch his back. She was alone now so he was bound to fall into something bad. What would happen now that she wasn't there?
Stop it, Jan, stop it right now! You're already losing your marbles; don't let them all fall out of your head by worrying about Kyle's impeccable streak of bad luck. He's a big boy; he can take care of himself…most of the time.
The transport ride was quick, too quick. She would have preferred more time to think or at least to prepare herself for whatever Mon Mothma wanted. Things hadn't been particularly smooth between them for a while. Truth be told, she'd been having problems with all of her friends. It was mainly her fault, she could admit that, but they had all given up on Kyle. Could she help but be annoyed by their lack of faith?
Mon Mothma's Twi'lek secretary was out, much to Jan's relief, so she just walked right in. As expected, Mon Mothma was waiting for her inside. "Good afternoon, Jan."
"Hi," she said curtly before sitting down, "So what'd you call me in for?"
"I suppose it is best to cut to the chase," Mon Mothma agreed though it was likely she would have preferred the normal courtesy chitchat. She picked up a data-pad off of her desk and handed it to Jan, "I have an assignment for you. General Damis was spotted on Sermia. I want you to bring him to Coruscant so he can be tried on war crimes for the Ullinian Massacre."
Jan knew about Damis and how he slaughtered seven hundred Ullinian's for rebelling against the Empire back in the early years of Palaptine's reign. He was a monster and deserved to be caught and tried, but not by her. She didn't have time to deal with this.
"With all do respect, I would rather you gave this assignment to someone else," Jan said.
Mon Mothma gave her a quizzical frown. "Why would you want that?"
"I don't have the time to give this my full attention."
"Jan, you haven't had an assignment in months, time is something you have an abundance of."
"I have been busy these past months looking for Kyle," Jan argued back, feeling the frustration boiling up inside of her like a pot of stew forgotten on a burner.
"But you haven't found anything," Mon Mothma stated the hard truth that cut so deeply through Jan's heart, "I thought you could continue your search while at the same time working for me again."
"I am working for you. I am working on finding your best operative and bringing him home."
Mon Mothma let out a sigh and reverted her eyes to her desk. Jan had always been a bit obstinate, that wasn't anything new, but her growing irritability and her mounting obsession with finding Kyle was new, and it was taking its toll on her. Jan had grown extremely pale over the past six months and she looked like she had lost weight. Her eyes were filled with so much pain, and beneath that, fear. Jan was afraid that she'd fail and Mon Mothma was afraid of what would happen when that day came. Would Jan be able to survive that?
"To be honest, Jan, I'm worried about you," Mon Mothma decided to voice her concerns.
Jan looked a bit surprised. "Worried about me? Why?"
"This mad hunt to find Kyle is putting a terrible strain on you," she told her gently, hoping to reach that bit of Jan that was still sane. "Maybe you should take a break from all of this and let someone else continue to search."
"No!" Jan cried out more forcibly than she meant, "I—I mean, I know Kyle better than anyone. I'll admit, he's managed to elude me so far, but I'm certain that I'll find him soon."
Her confidence was minimal and that was apparent in her words. Mon Mothma shook her head the girl. "Jan, maybe you should talk to someone about this. I can recommend an excellent doctor."
"You want me to see a shrink?"
"I want you to be happy again."
Jan knew she was telling the truth, but she also knew that talking about her feelings and her fears wasn't going to make her happy. Only one man had that power.
"I'm fine, Mon Mothma," she assured the woman, "I'll get the General for you, okay? I can take a break from the search."
"Jan, don't do this because you want to get me off your back."
"I'm not. I want to do this because it's the right thing to do," Jan assured her. She was lying between her teeth, but Mon Mothma chose to believe her. She was hoping that Jan could be saved.
"I'll be back with the general soon," Jan promised her before leaving the room unexcused. A gnawing feeling was attacking Mon Mothma's insides. Something told her she had made a terrible mistake.
Sermia was a well populated planet that grew up from a three continent world that rested on two big oceans. Jan touched down on a docking bay in the planet's capital, Relan. The report of Damis's appearance had said he had been spotted in the capital, so that was where she would start.
Ordinarily, Imperial generals are rather arrogant creatures who wouldn't be caught dead in the poverty slums of a city, but Jan was betting that Damis was smarter than that. An Imperial general facing war crimes would surely hide where he would think no one would look. This was good and bad news for Jan because the slums were filled to the brim with citizens which would make finding Damis that much harder.
However, she was glad that she was doing this. Focusing on something else besides her missing friend was a relief. It actually made her feel a tiny bit sane again.
The slums were filthy—what a shock—and filled with homeless people. Children ran through the streets in dirty clothes and many of them were barefoot. The smell of sewage and body odor tainted the air to a nearly unbearable level. Jan made a mental note to tell Mon Mothma about this. Obviously the senators of this sector weren't following their elected duties.
The whistleblower had been an apartment manager on one of the nicer blocks in the slums, though that didn't suggest much of a difference. Still, Jan betted that Damis lived in that area. The manager had refused to give any details except for where he wanted the reward money to be transferred, but Jan knew the address.
There were a bunch of apartment complexes but one of them had been abandoned after a fire. The top floors had been completely destroyed but the bottom half still looked stable. Now if I were an Imperial asshole, that's where I would hide.
Jan kept her blaster ready when she walked into the building. It was dark and smelled like ashes and rotten food, a disgusting combination. Oh, how the mighty have fallen, Jan couldn't but think as she surveyed what appeared to be the general's new home.
His hideout made her apartment look sterilized. A set of blankets was bunched up in the corner of the room, probably his bed. Wrappers and broken bottles spoke of his eating habits which weren't healthy. Apparently the general was not only a wanted man but also flat broke since junk food was all he could afford.
Damis appeared from a darker end of the building, probably relieving himself since there wasn't a fresher anywhere as far as Jan could see. "Good evening, general," she spoke up with mocking politeness.
The general looked up at her with wide eyes and then took in the sight of her blaster. "I don't want to touch your murdering hands, so put these on yourself," Jan said before tossing him the binders she had brought with her.
"As you wish." Damis appeared to be putting one of the cuffs onto his wrist, but Jan learned too late that he was really reached for the blaster concealed at his waist.
She ducked down and rolled before his shot could hit her. Jan came back up firing but he managed to get out of the way without getting hit either. Her mission was to bringing him back to face a trial, not to kill him. It was time to be covert.
The building had been stripped to its studs, leaving her dozens of large, metal columns to hide behind. Jan crawled on her belly towards one of the pillars, picking up the discarded binders along the way. Now at her pillar, she slowly stood up with her finger ready at the trigger. She waited patiently until the general got curious and stood up from his hiding place.
He had his own blaster ready as he surveyed the room for Jan. She kept her breaths low and even so he wouldn't hear her and she refused to move any muscles besides blinking. She watched as he walked a few steps past her pillar, then she leapt out behind him and placed the blaster to the back of his head. "You're a little rusty, Damis," she said to him, "Drop it."
With no way out, Damis complied and let his weapon fall to the ground. Jan gave him the binders again. "Now you be a good little murderer and put those on."
"What you call murder I call justice for those who dared to betray the Emperor."
"Palpatine's dead, psycho, you don't have any one to follow now, except me now put on those binders," she ordered with no mercy in her tone. She wasn't in the mood for any Imperial bravado today.
Damis finally locked his wrist into the binders and Jan gave him a shove forward. "Walk."
She kept her gun at his back to keep him moving as they walked through the slums. People watched the once honored Imperial general being led towards his trial. Some smiled at the sight; others didn't understand what was happening and just blinked in confusion.
They were in the more cared for part of Relan when Damis got a bit obstinate. "Is dragging me through the streets like this really necessary?"
Jan smiled. "No, I could have called the local law enforcement and they could have transported you to Coruscant. I just thought the humiliation of defeat would do you some good."
It was then that Jan saw a sight she had only seen before in her dreams and in the insane part of her mind. It was the profile of a man with unmanageable brown hair and beard that grew on his handsome face. "Kyle," she whispered his name, scarcely able to breath. "Kyle!"
She broke into a run with her heart already pounding so hard she feared it would break through her ribs and fall down at her feet. Kyle was walking away, didn't even see her. Tears of joy were filling her eyes. She had found him!
"Kyle!" she called out his name when she finally reached him. She grasped his shoulder and forced him to turn around to face her…then her heart sank into a deep hole in her chest.
He had brown hair and a beard like Kyle, but his eyes were green, not brown, and a scar ran down his right cheek. The stranger blinked back at her in confusion. "Do I know you, miss?"
Jan closed her eyes and shook her head. "I thought you were someone else." She turned away with tears rolling down her cheeks. How cruel to think she'd found him again and then for it to be taken away for the hundredth time. Fate was playing some terrible tricks with her.
She heard a scream that forced her out of her gloom. Sithspit! The general! She'd abandoned him to chase after another dead end.
Jan took out her blaster and chased after the direction the scream had come from. She screamed insults at herself in her head while she raced as fast as she could. Another desperate scream rang out and this fueled her pace.
Damis had managed to secure a gun, probably pick-pocketed it from some civilian. He had his arms hooked around an innocent woman's neck with the muzzle of the pistol pressed to her throat.
Jan stopped cold when she saw he had a hostage. "I suggest you don't move another step forward," Damis said to her, "Now put the blaster on the ground and then toss this woman the key to the binders."
Jan nodded at him and knelt to the ground supposedly to place her blaster there. Instead she fired one shot into his thigh. The sudden shock of pain forced Damis to drop his gun and fall to the ground with the woman on top of him. The woman cried out and wiggled free from his grasp before running off into the crowd. Jan kicked Damis's stolen blaster away. "Get up," she growled at him.
"You bitch!" he shouted as he struggled to his knees, "You shot me!"
"Be grateful I didn't kill you."
Damis was back on his feet and boring into her eyes when he said, "Wait until I tell your superiors that you ran off to find someone named Kyle."
"You think that'll save you from the death penalty?" Jan questioned and forced herself to laugh, "Let's go you Imperial bastard before I lose my patience and shoot you again."
She resumed her stance of pressing her gun to his back to prod him forward. All the while she knew she was falling over the edge and was about to land in a heap of trouble.
Jan secured the general in the hold, locking him up tight and making sure he couldn't move anywhere before settling into the cockpit and blasting off of Sermia. Out of the corner of her eye she watched as the planet faded into the distance, when she was finally within a safe range she set the hyper-speed and the stars became streaking white stripes as the Crow raced back to Coruscant.
Only then did she run out of things to occupy her hands and mind, now the most recent failure settled back into her thoughts, and it wasn't just her failure to find Kyle this time.
Stupid Jan, stupid! She shouted to herself in her thoughts, how could she just abandon a war criminal like that. It wasn't a rookie mistake, it was downright idiotic. With a groan of frustration she banged her head against the steering console a couple of times. The pain felt good for once, almost like a punishment for her misdeeds.
"Good one Jan, almost letting a mass murderer go free."
She turned to glare at the apparition of Kyle, "I'm not in the mood for a lecture right now, go haunt someone else."
"Sorry, but I'm only in your mind," he reminded her, "I guess this means that you have no choice but to listen."
She sighed, "I know I was an idiot, but I honestly thought that guy was you."
"Do you really think that I would be hiding out for six months only to end that by strolling past you?" Kyle asked with a grin, "give me some credit Jan."
"So what you're saying is that the true moron here right now is me."
"You said it not me."
Jan glowered at him, "Do you have to be so smug?"
"Sure, it's nice to be right after all of those times you laid into me about something dumb I did."
"You mean like what happened on Minga?"
Now it was Kyle's turn to glare, "We swore never to mention that again."
Jan laughed; her first true laugh in the past six months. It surprised her, it had been so long since she'd actually felt free like that, she almost didn't know what to do. Kyle just smiled again, "That's a nice sound. I missed you laughing like that."
She nodded, "It's been a while…I thought I'd forgotten what it was like to smile." Jan shook her head, "I thought I'd never be like that until I found you."
"You don't need to find me, Jan, to be happy," Kyle explained looking into her eyes, "all you have to do is get on with your life and be grateful for the memories that we have together. Like what happened on Minga or that day after the Empire fell or any other memory that makes you smile. Just like you celebrate the life your parents led, celebrate my life…just stop dwelling on me and let me work through my problems alone."
In some ways he was right, Jan mourned her parents but she had never thrown her life away like this when they died. Instead she relived those moments that she was happiest with them and it helped her move on…but there was something else that had saved her through those dark days.
Kyle had been there to dry her tears and offer a warm embrace when she needed it, but here and now she had no one to turn to.
Jan shook her head, "No Kyle, I have to find you."
"Jan, listen to me," he said angrily, "if you keep this up you will continue to walk down a path of darkness. If you keep throwing yourself headlong into danger, you're going to get yourself into a situation you can't get out of. You fixed your mistake this time but maybe not next, maybe next time you won't be able to gather your wits. You could lose your job, your standings with your friends, even your life. Is that what you want?"
"I don't know!" she shouted at him, "I just want you back. I—I need you. I need you to laugh, need you to breath, I…I need you to live. Without you I'm no one, I'm nothing, just an empty shell where my heart used to be."
Jan looked down for a moment, and when she looked back up he was gone. She looked out across at the empty spot where Kyle had once stood, and a tear slid down her cheek. "You took more than just your problems with you Kyle, you took my heart and I need it back…I need you back."
House visits weren't protocol when you were a major leader of the New Republic, but Mon Mothma felt she didn't have a choice. Things with Jan were spiraling out of control and the young operative was refusing to listen to her. Maybe someone else could make her see reason, friends that had experience great loss like Jan.
Princess Leia Organa lived in the same apartment complex as Mon Mothma so the trip wasn't very far. When she pushed the button to signal her arrival she was greeted by the gold plated droid C-3PO. "Oh, Mon Mothma what a surprise to see you."
"I came unannounced," she told the droid, "I understand Luke Skywalker is visiting the princess, is he here?"
"Indeed, he is in the living area along with her highness and General Solo."
It was a bit of a surprise to Mon Mothma to learn that she would be seeing all three of the New Republic's greatest heroes at once, but it occurred to her that it was foolish to be shocked. Leia and Luke were siblings and the princess was in love with Han Solo as well as Luke being friends with him. Of course they would be together as much as they possibly could.
It was actually good fortune that she had found them all. They were all friends with Jan so they would all be concerned about her welfare.
"Please tell them that I am here and wish to speak with them," Mon Mothma instructed the droid.
"Right away, ma'am."
She watched as 3PO walked in a mechanical like strut towards the living area. Mon Mothma chose to walk inside the apartment and wait in the foyer for the droid's return. Leia came instead with a bright smile on her lovely face. "Mon Mothma, what a pleasant surprise."
"It's good to see you again, Leia," she greeted the princess and returned the smile.
"Do come and sit with us for a while," Leia said as she guided the Chief of State to her friends.
"I will sit, but I can't stay long I'm afraid."
Luke and Han both stood up when the two women entered the room. "Well this is a shock," the cavalier Corellian said when he saw Mon Mothma, "I didn't think I'd done anything wrong…lately."
She smiled back at the general. "It's good to see you too, General Solo."
"What brings you here, Mon Mothma?" Leia was the first to inquire as they all resumed their seats in the princess's comfortable apartment.
"I was hoping to speak with Luke, but I'm glad to have found you two as well."
Luke gazed back at her with a wondering look. "What's wrong?"
"It's about Jan," she said after a long sigh, "Have any of you seen her recently?"
"Two days ago," Han spoke up first, "She's in the hangar fixing up the Crow. She looks terrible."
"Really?" Leia asked with astonishment.
Han nodded to her. "She's thin and pale with dark circles under her eyes. I wonder if she's slept at all since Kyle left."
"Oh dear. I knew this was hard for her, but I didn't realize she was getting sick from it all," she replied with growing concern in her eyes.
"It's worse than that," Luke piped in, "it's like this search is driving her mad, she's getting reckless and desperate…it's more than just her physical health that I'm worried about."
Leia looked at her brother with wide eyed fear. "You don't think she'd hurt herself, do you?"
"No intentionally, but she's slipping more into this obsession and I'm afraid none of us will like what she will become if she can't be helped."
"I get that she's hurt that Kyle left, by why this mad search for him?" Han questioned, "We've all lost people we love, but this doesn't seem normal."
"I agree," Mon Mothma said, it may have been the first time she actually concurred with Han Solo, "There's something else there. I think she feels guilty."
"Guilty? Why do you think that?" Leia brought the question they all wanted answered.
"I'm not sure why she feels that way, but I can see if in her eyes. For some reason she feels responsible for Kyle's disappearance."
"You're right," Luke spoke up, "She does feel guilty though why, only she can tell. We really shouldn't be surprised, Jan and Kyle always felt responsible for each other. Whenever something happened to one of them they always shouldered the blame on themselves, it didn't matter what circumstances had occurred it was always their fault, not the other's. It doesn't matter what happened, no matter what Jan was going to blame herself."
Mon Mothma nodded, "You're right. It was never Jan Ors or Kyle Katarn; it was always Jan and Kyle. They were more than just partners, they were like one entity. One can't exist without the other."
She let out another long sigh. "Wherever he is, Kyle is suffering just as much as Jan. The only difference is she is trying to find him while he is trying to stay away from her."
Han nodded, "They're like two opposing speeders playing chicken, barreling down at each other. Either one will give up…or the explosion will be real messy."
"We should talk to her," Leia stated.
"We can try," Luke agreed, "But I don't think it will do much good. Jan is as stubborn as they come, she's not going to give up until she finds him or…"
"Or she dies," Mon Mothma finished for him, already fearing the words she had just spoken.
In the depths of space where not even the bravest of souls would dare to venture, a Star Destroyer, salvaged from the ruins of the Empire, floated in peace. It was aptly named the Imperial Legacy because the man who owned it was still harboring the spirit of the defeated government.
Castin Mohc used to be a commander in the Empire before its defeat by the Rebel Alliance. He was a forgotten survivor, deemed too worthless to even note as a potential enemy. But that was to his advantage. Ever since the Emperor's downfall, he had been marshalling his power in secret, preparing for the day when he would strike.
But his patience was running thin, especially now that he was partnered with someone he was afraid to trust yet also terrified not to. His father, General Rom Mohc, had always been wary of the Sith but had chose to work with them. He was now following in his footsteps but he didn't enjoy it one bit.
"How much longer will I have to wait before I can avenge my father?" Castin demanded to the Dark Jedi.
Ganis Teerak refused to be rankled by the pathetic human's show of impatience. He had found Castin months ago and had helped him groom together a small army with the inheritance he had been given after Rom Mohc's death.
"You will wait as long as it is necessary," he replied.
"Don't you seek what I seek?" Castin inquired, "Don't you seek revenge for Jerec's murder? Katarn killed my father and your master, he deserves to die!"
"Indeed, but now is not the time. Katarn has disappeared. Until he resurfaces we will spend our time focusing on more important things."
"What can be more important than justice?"
Ganis laughed at the human's words. "You don't seek justice, you want revenge. Well revenge brings you a degree of satisfaction but it won't bring you power. The ultimate revenge will not be killing Katarn, but destroying what he fought for."
"I want satisfaction now," Castin replied through gritted teeth, "We may not know where Katarn is, but I can easily find his partner."
"Why seek her out?" Ganis questioned, "Jan Ors didn't kill your father or my master."
"She was beside Katarn every step of the way. She is just as guilty as he is."
The headstrong son of General Mohc was starting to grate Ganis's nerves. He was too anxious, too reckless. He knew nothing about revenge except that he wanted it. Well now was not the time to allow him to indulge in his petty desires.
"You will leave Jan Ors alone," Ganis demanded in a voice that was calm, yet as hard as stone, "We cannot reveal ourselves too soon."
"I'm tired of hiding! I want action now!"
Irritated beyond control, Ganis reached out his hand and struck him with a current of Force energy that crackled like lightening. Castin was thrown backwards and let out a shrill scream. The Sith only tortured him for a moment, just long enough to make him learn a very hard lesson.
"Return to your quarters and practice being patient," Ganis instructed the still whimpering Imperial, "Your father's killer will meet his fate, but not until we are ready to strike back at the New Republic and take back the galaxy."
Castin was shaking when he climbed to his feet. His clothes were smoking from the heat but his skin wasn't singed. "I—I understand."
"Good, now get out of my sight."
Mohc's now humbled son limped out of the room as fast as he could, leaving Jerec's secret apprentice alone. Ganis's master had kept him hidden from everyone; even his fellow apprentices had no knowledge of his existence.
He had a power greater than any had ever seen, a gift rarely seen among the Sith. But Katarn carried a secret with him that the Jedi didn't even know he had. That secret would be Ganis's way of bringing the Republic to its knees and the key to restoring the Empire back into its former glory
A/N: So the bad guys have been revealed but is Jan actually going to see the danger looming ahead? Will Mon Mothma and the rest of the gang actually get through to her? Is she ever gong to find her runaway Jedi? Maybe, maybe not you'll just have to wait and see. Reviews ALWAYS inspire us to work harder so what are you waiting for? Push that button at the bottom and tell us what you think.
