Chapter Three: The Change Table Debacle

Ron's face turned a disturbing shade of green. "Changed?"

Harry nodded.

"You mean, like..."

Harry nodded again.

Ron extended his arms, holding a gurgling Victoire as if she were a Blast-Ended Skrewt. "That's disgusting!"

"Rrrrrron!" squealed Victoire as she struggled to stare at Crookshanks who hadn't moved from his spot on the floor.

Harry ducked as the shaking rattle nearly smacked him in the head, causing Crookshanks to momentarily switch his concentration. Ever the auror, Ron took advantage of the situation and, while still clutching his niece in his outstretched arms, sidestepped Hermione's growling cat.

Harry quickly followed suit and both stared at the change table that was in front of the couch. Ron shoved Victoire into Harry's unsuspecting hands. "Here, you do it."

"Are you mental, Ron?" Harry asked, handing Victoire back.

"Why do I have to do it? You've babysat and changed Teddy loads of times!" Ron reasoned, handing her back.

Harry looked scandalised. "Teddy's a boy!"

"So? You've clearly had more experience than me."

"I don't care. She's your niece, you arse!"

"What do you mean, you don't care? Shove off, Potter! Besides, you have been part of this family since you were eleven too, y'know."

"That doesn't count."

"Why the hell not? You're dating Ginny! You're Victoire's uncle just as much as I am!"

Harry glared at Ron and realised he was still holding Victoire. He shoved her back into Ron's arms, which were still outstretched.

"No."

"Yes."

"I said, NO!"

"You've fought You-Know-Who and you can't change a baby? That's insane!"

"You were there too!"

"I didn't kill him, did I?"

"Killed enough Death Eaters though. Brilliant Auror, suave businessman and you won't even help your poor, defenceless niece get out of her own soiled nappy!"

Harry smirked as Ron had the decency to look ashamed, as he stared at Victoire, who at that moment, looked positively angelic. She beamed at him. "Rrrrronnnnn!"

Ron sighed. "You're a git, Potter."

Harry happily summoned a clean nappy, but frowned when he realised that, as was common wizarding practice, the nappy was only a square, white cloth. Ron had finally put Victoire down onto the change table.

"Merlin," Harry breathed. "What are you supposed to do with this thing?"

"No idea mate. Can you hurry up, keeping a squirming baby down isn't as easy as it looks."

Harry fumbled with the white square. He was certain his Aunt Petunia had used disposable nappies. It had been a long time since he had changed Teddy's nappy. Surely he could remember...

"I reckon you're supposed to fold it over," Ron suggested. Harry nodded in agreement. He folded it in half.

"That doesn't look right."

Harry rolled it lengthways.

"Bloody hell!"

Harry took it and folded it in half diagonally and dropped it on the change table.

Ron snatched Victoire's dancing rattle out of the hair and gave it to her. He took a deep breath. "Merlin, give me strength."

Harry scrunched his nose as a foul smell penetrated the air. The sound of Ron nearly choking quickly followed.

"That is vile!" Harry said, turning his head to try and find some fresh air. He found none.

"That's disgusting! Quick, Harry, take the old one!"

Harry stared in horror as Ron shoved the dirty nappy into his hands. Ron quickly shoved the fresh nappy onto Victoire. Harry Vanished the mess and cast a quick scourgify on the cloth.

"How do you stick it down?"

"How should I know?"

"You've changed Teddy's nappy before," Ron pointed out.

"Only a few times, Ron. Andromeda did it mostly."

Ron took out his wand and pointed it to the nappy, performing a sticking charm. "Reckon that'll hold."

Harry slapped Ron on the back. "That was brilliant!"

Victoire started to cry. Ron gently picked her up. "What's wrong now, Vic?"

Her cries suddenly turned to shrieks. Ron looked alarmed. "What happened? She was fine! You're not wet already are you?"

Harry turned his attention to the kitchen. "Reckon she's probably hungry."