Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. We just enjoy playing with her characters.
Ch 2
I sat on the bathroom floor, holding my breath, while I watched the second hand move on my watch. Fifteen seconds to go. I refused to look at the little white plastic stick perched atop the crumpled paper bag on the floor in front of me. I also ignored the impatient foot tapping on the floor nearby.
"You've already taken twelve," Rose sighed. "Bella, they all say the same thing."
"I just don't understand how it happened. He always wears a condom. We've never gone without. Not even once." I leaned my head back against the cabinet and felt the tears track down my face. I wiped my face with the back of my hand and picked up the plastic stick. I glanced at the little window to see the answer clearly displayed. I let my chin drop to my chest and began crying in earnest. "I can't be pregnant Rose."
"Well, obviously you are." I heard the sarcasm in her tone.
I stood and picked up the bag containing the other discarded tests. I put the latest test in the bag and threw the lot in the trash can beside me. I saw my red splotchy face in the mirror above the sink as I washed my hands. Rose stood watching me cautiously; I'm sure ready for another meltdown. I already had two meltdowns since showing up at her apartment this morning. Royce had only been too happy to leave as soon as he saw me curled up on Rose's sofa, crying while trying to inhale a liter bottle of water. I poured out the glass of water sitting on the counter and walked back to her kitchen. I slumped into a chair in defeat. Rose took the chair beside me and squeezed my hand.
"Bella, I'm sorry. I'm being a bitch. This is about you, not me. Forgive me?" She gave me a tight sad smile.
"I'm sorry too, Rose. I'm the one who's insensitive. I shouldn't have bothered you with this."
Children were the one thing Rose wanted most in life but could never have. I should have realized when I barged into her home earlier, begging her to help me, that this might be difficult on her.
"Bella, it's okay. Don't worry about me. I've learned to accept the way my life turned out. It could be a lot worse." She squeezed my hand again and gave me a too bright smile that didn't reach her eyes. "Just promise you'll let me babysit anytime Emmett wants to take you out."
"How do I tell him that I'm pregnant? He's going to be furious. Neither of us planned for this to happen."
"Are you kidding? How many times has Emmett talked about having kids? He wants a big family. I promise you he'll be ecstatic when you tell him. Emmett loves you so much. He's done everything in his power to show you just how much he loves you. He treats you like a queen. You need to stop and realize just how good you have it with Emmett. No one could ever love you as much as he does," she stated firmly.
"You don't understand," I sighed, remembering my plans. "I was actually planning to take a break from Emmett for a while. I already purchased my plane ticket home. I was going to tell him tonight when he got home."
"You what?" she said loudly. She narrowed her eyes and pointed an accusing finger at me. "Emmett has worked his ass off, bending over backwards to earn your love. Do you honestly think he enjoys sitting at home night after night when everyone he knows is out having a good time? Do you know how much ribbing he's taken from his family and friends for taking cooking lessons with you? McCarty men do not cook. You're supposed to be moving in a few days. He bought you a freaking house in the suburbs when he loves the city. He did all of that for one reason only. He wants your love. You've made him feel like he has to fight the memory of a ghost to gain whatever scrap of affection you give him. Now you tell me you're just going to walk out on him after everything he's done to prove himself worthy in your eyes?" She leaned back in her chair and waited for me to think about what she was saying. She gave me a look of disgust. "I never would have thought you could be that cold and selfish Bella. Does it make you feel superior knowing you're trampling his heart and are going to make him feel like yesterday's garbage?"
"Rose, stop please," I cried. I felt like I was being bombarded by the onslaught of her accusations.
"Why should I? You don't care about Emmett at all. Are you going to take his baby away from him or just throw it away the same way you're throwing away Emmett's heart?" she demanded.
"Of course not! How can you even think something like that?" I shouted. I stood and backed away from her, wrapping my arms around my stomach protectively. "I would never do anything to hurt my baby."
"Don't you think taking a baby away from its father is hurtful? Remember, I know what it's like to grow up without a father. I often wonder if my father hadn't died, maybe my life would have been different. My mother wouldn't have become an addict. My brother wouldn't be in prison for murder. I might have found someone to love me and have a family of my own. But I'll never know will I? Is that the life you want for Emmett's baby?"
Tears streamed down my face as she buried me under the weight of her accusations. Emmett has done everything Rose said and more. The only thing he's ever wanted in return was my love. He was selfless and caring where I was nothing but a cold, selfish bitch. When did I become so heartless? Rose got up from the table and grabbed a tissue. She helped me to clean up the mess of mascara streaks on my face before wrapping her arms around me.
"Bella, I'm not trying to make you feel bad. I just think you need to see how your actions hurt others," she said gently. "Sometimes you have a tendency to be a little selfish and think only of yourself."
I nodded and took a deep breath. I blew my nose on a tissue she handed me. I gave her a watery smile and nodded. "You're right Rose. I've been selfish and unfeeling. Emmett is such a wonderful man and I'm very fortunate that he loves me so much. I do love him." I don't know who I was trying to convince more with that last statement. I took another shuddering breath and smiled again. This time it was more convincing. "So, any ideas how I tell Emmett he's going to be a daddy?"
Rose laughed and hugged me tight. "Oh Bella, I'm so happy for you."
####
I waited for the elevator doors to open on our floor. I clasped the gift bag in my shaky fingers while I fidgeted nervously. Rose and I spent the rest of the day together. She went with me to my doctor where they confirmed what thirteen pregnancy tests had already told me. After my visit, we went shopping for the perfect gift to tell Emmett we were having a baby. I was still nervous how he would react to the news. What if Rose was wrong and he really didn't want it? If he didn't, this was going to be extremely embarrassing and painful. I'd had a few hours to come to terms with the fact that I was having a baby. Depending on how my news was received, I would need to call Alice and explain my change in plans.
I stepped out of the elevator and crossed the hall to our door, taking a deep breath. Emmett's black Escalade was in the parking garage when I pulled in, so I knew he was home. It was early but I was actually glad for that fact, so I wouldn't sit around making myself sick with worry. I closed the door quietly behind me and dropped my keys and purse on the bench by the door. I stepped around the boxes stacked on the floor next to the bench. The moving company was coming in two days to move everything to the new house. My things were marked and discretely separated from Emmett's, since I'd quietly set up for my things to be shipped home. This was another call I would need to make depending on tonight's talk.
I checked my appearance in the mirror and was glad I'd taken Rose's suggestion to have a facial before coming home. The puffy redness was completely gone from my eyes. I didn't want Emmett to think for one second I wasn't happy about our baby. I looked down as my hand gently stroked my stomach.
"I love you and I promise to be a good mother. Everything is about what's best for you from now on," I said quietly.
I heard Emmett's voice laced with frustration coming from the living room. He was grumbling and swearing about something, but I couldn't make out his words. I was startled by the sound of a box of glass crashing to the floor and then the sound of him kicking the box.
"Son of a bitch!"
"Emmett?" I called out nervously. "Are you okay?"
Emmett came striding from the living room. He looked good in his black dress pants and red button down shirt. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows. He was so handsome with his blue eyes, sandy brown hair and massive build. It made me wonder again why I couldn't love him the way I had loved Edward. I cared for Emmett very much. He loved me and saw me through my darkest times of Edward's death and my father's murder. Why couldn't I get my heart to agree with my head and give him the kind of love I knew I was capable of?
"There you are. I've been worried sick about you," he snapped. He waved his hand dismissively behind him. "I was looking for something and knocked over a box."
He cupped the back of my head firmly and pulled me in for one of his 'Emmett style kisses'. That's what I call them because sometimes he gets a little exuberant and his kisses can become little painful. Emmett is a large man and tends to forget his strength. Sometimes I have to remind him that I'm much smaller than him and can't take some of the intensity in which he likes to make love. He finally released me, so I could pull back and catch my breath. He swept me up in his arms and carried me to the living room. He sat on the sofa and held me on his lap.
"What, I can't be happy to see my girl? You are my girl, aren't you?" He asked slowly.
He pulled me in again and this time gave me a tender, gentle kiss. I wish he would understand that these were the kisses I enjoyed. I held his face in my hands and returned his kiss with equal tenderness. I let my fingers slip behind his head to rake the hair at the nape of his neck between my fingers. I smiled at him, gazing into his eyes when we separated.
"Of course. I love you," I said softly.
I was surprised to see a flash of anger in his eyes. He reached for the drink sitting on the end table and took a long drink. The glass made a loud 'thunk' as he set it back on the table. I realized he seemed tense, like he was angry about something.
"Is everything alright?" I asked, concerned.
"Everything is perfect now that you're here with me." His smile seemed forced as he brushed my hair back from my face. "So what did you do today? Wasn't your last test over at nine this morning? I came home to take you out to celebrate, and you weren't here and there wasn't a note. Your cell was turned off all day as well."
"I'm sorry. I forgot to turn it back on after my test. I spent the day with Rose. You know, shopping, lunch, just girl stuff." I shrugged nervously.
I shifted uneasily as his eyes narrowed slightly at me. I wondered if he could sense my rising anxiety. I began to squirm under his fixed gaze.
"I bought something for you today," I said cheerfully, giving him my brightest smile.
I stood quickly and hurried back to the entry to get the gift bag I'd left sitting by my purse. I walked slowly back into the living room, all of my fear returned to me tenfold. Emmett was standing with his back to me at the bar pouring another drink. He drained his glass again before slamming it down on the counter causing me to jump.
"Emmett?" I approached him cautiously, more than a little nervous. I felt guilty for wanting to leave him. I was terrified how he would take the news of our baby. And I had no idea why he seemed so angry or why I felt it had something to do with me.
He turned to me and leaned against the bar, crossing his arms over his massive chest. I didn't know why he was upset, but figured in the next five minutes he'd either be even angrier or very happy. I handed him the bag and chewed on my thumbnail nervously as he pulled out the tissue paper and reached inside for the gift. He threw the bag on the floor and held out the gift in front of him. His eyebrows rose and his lips twitched before becoming a full-fledged grin that spread from ear to ear. It was a soft blue t-shirt for a baby that said "If you think I'm cute, you should see my Daddy".
"Hot fucking damn! My girl's gonna have my baby!" he shouted.
He picked me up and spun me around the room, whooping and hollering. He finally put me back on my unsteady feet as he knelt down in front of me and began kissing and talking to my stomach. My anxiety eased seeing his excitement, and I resolved to try harder to make Emmett happy.
"Are you okay with this?" I asked nervously.
He placed both hands on my stomach, framing it in his hands and placed another kiss on my stomach before looking up at me. He stood and drew me into his arms. He held my chin in his hand, his thumb gently grazing my throat as he smiled.
"My baby is growing inside of you. Mine. I'm going to be a daddy. Are you fucking kidding me? How could I not be okay with it?" I detected a hint of smugness in his tone, but figured it was a testosterone thing. "There's only one thing that would make me even happier than I am right at this moment, if that's even possible."
"Really? And what would that be?" I laughed. I was so relieved he wasn't angry about the baby. I felt like a weight had been lifted from my chest.
He held a finger up to me. "Wait right here. Don't move from this spot."
I received another of Emmett's kisses before he ran out of the room, leaving me standing in the middle of the floor. I tried not to get upset as my gaze fell on the box of broken glass Emmett had knocked over. Before it fell it had been filled with a set of dishes I bought. Well, they were trash now. I swallowed nervously as I noticed most of the boxes with that one had been opened. They were all mine.
Emmett came back into the room, still grinning. It faltered when he noticed what I was staring at before his lips set in a firm line. He waved a hand at the broken dishes and shrugged. "Sorry about that. I don't know how that particular set of dishes ended up in here. The rest of the dishes are boxed up in the kitchen. None of the boxes in that stack are labeled for the movers. We wouldn't want anything to get lost and shipped to the wrong house, would we?"
I shook my head and quietly cleared my throat. "I'll go through them again tonight and make sure everything is labeled. Thank you for catching it."
He held my gaze as he walked to stand before me. The air sizzled with unnamed tension before his grin returned. "I'll even help you. After all, you need to start taking it easy." He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss against my lips. He pulled away and lowered himself to one knee.
"Isabella Marie Swan, I have loved you since the first moment I saw you in that coffee shop. I never dreamed that one day I would be lucky enough to be able to call you my girl, or that you would be having my baby. I swear you'll always be my girl, and I'll never let you go if you'll just say yes and marry me."
My breath hitched and my heart began pounding in my chest. Was I ready for this? Yesterday I was planning to move home and take time to think about what I wanted out of life and if that life would include Emmett. Then this morning, when I was putting the last of my toiletries in a bag, I realized the box of tampons under the sink was still unopened and everything changed. Once again, I had no control over what happened in my life. It seemed decisions were constantly taken out of my hands by circumstance and events beyond my control.
I had a baby to think of. I needed to do what was right for the innocent life inside of me. I knew what it was like growing up with one parent, and I didn't like it. Dad and I had been close, but he worked too many hours because Renee's life was too unpredictable to depend on her for any financial help. I wouldn't do that to my child. Emmett loved me and he wants this baby.
I do love him, even if it isn't the deep all-encompassing love I had with Edward. Maybe we're only granted that kind of love once in a lifetime and I'd already been blessed with mine, even if it was for only a short time. I closed my eyes briefly and let myself have a moment to think of Edward. I imagined what it would have been like to share this moment with him. Would I forever compare my life now with how it should have been?
I knew Emmett was waiting for my answer and opened my eyes. I gave him my best smile and nodded.
"I love you too Emmett, and I would be honored to become your wife."
