Deus Ex Machina
-ooo-
PLEASE NOTE: This story will NOT be continued. I am uploading the remnants of my works, incomplete/unedited/rough as they may be, for reader perusal. There will be author's notes/commentary within the text to reflect this.
For more information, read my author's profile for details. Thank you.
-ooo-
chapter 03: deathberry and the princess
"It seems as if my village owes you another debt, Inoue-san."
"Oh no, Lord Wind Shadow," Orihime flailed in embarrassment. "It's what anyone else would have done in my place."
"They would have tried, yes, but I doubt many would have succeeded," The Yondaime Kazekage rested his chin on his hands and gave Orihime a considering gaze. "It is not everyday one meets someone who can wrestle with the whims of Shinigami-sama himself."
Orihime wanted to correct him and explain that there was more than one shinigami in the afterlife, but caught herself in time. "Um, I guess not," she admitted.
"Precisely. And in light of your efforts to aid my village, I am inclined to thank you," the Kazekage placed his hands, palms up, on the desk for Orihime to see. "What is it that you desire as a reward? Money, gold, land? Suna will be more than willing to comply."
Orihime gaped. "Ehh?! That's—I couldn't—I don't need a reward, really!"
The Kazekage frowned. Perhaps the girl doubted his words? It was true, Suna's economy hadtaken a turn for the worse by the end of the last war, but its people prided themselves as fair traders. 'Provided our partners don't betray us first.'
"I am a man of honor, Inoue-san," the Kazekage said. "And I do not like to leave my debts unpaid." Nor would he allow the weight of such an obvious boon hang above their village.
"It's nothing like that!" Orihime protested, twisting a strand of hair. She'd never accepted payment for her healing before, beyond simple thanks—and besides, what would she do with money and land from a different world? "I just don't need any of those things…"
"You will take something," the Kazekage insisted. "I cannot afford to have my village seen as ungenerous towards its allies."
"But you've done enough for me already!" Orihime exclaimed. "Giving me a place to stay, food to eat, and rescuing me from the desert—I'm grateful for all of that, Mister Fourth!"
The girl was ridiculously stubborn, the Kazekage mused, and more naïve than he'd initially assumed. Still, a part of him marveled at her spirit. To refuse all manner of rewards, in preference for simple hospitality—it made him recall the stories of Suna's founding days, when the people had banded together to eke out a living in the unforgiving sands, giving and sharing unconditionally.
If he had more time, he could try explaining the politics of the matter in a way she could understand. Ask her to accept the centuries old traditions of Suna hospitality. Convince her to take something, so that he could allay the suspicious fear that she was here for ulterior purposes. There was no place for idealism in the world of shinobi.
But he had no time, not with the final part of the Chuunin Exams lingering on the horizon. With a sigh, the Kazekage raised his arms in defeat. "So be it."
Orihime brightened.
"You refuse all offers of gold. You do not desire any property, or material goods." The Kazekage took a slow breath. "Yet beyond our thanks, will you at least allow us to treat you as a guest befitting of your station?"
Orihime hesitated, mentally repeating his words, before nodding slowly."All right," she said. "That sounds fair."
The Kazekage smiled. "Excellent."
xxx
[A/N: Basically, Orihime ends up adjusting to life in Suna and meets some locals here, befriending them and generally building up a reputation in the village as a sweet, if slightly odd girl. She eventually breaks past the Honored Sibling's crusty selves and gets particularly close to Chiyo's brother. Meanwhile, Urahara figures out a way to reach Orihime from his end…]
xxx
In the basement of a certain shopkeeper in Karakura Town, final preparations were underway for an emergency mission.
"This door better not tear us to shreds, Geta-Boshi," Ichigo growled under his breath. He was standing by the dimensional portals in Urahara's secret room, dressed in shinigami gear and wearing Zangetsustrapped across his back. Six strips of bandages covered in strange, seal-like script were wrapped around his wrists, ankles, neck, and torso.
"You should have more faith in me, Ichigo-kun!" Urahara smiled thinly. "I tested the seals multiple times. It'll do its job."
"Yeah, well maybe if you tested your portal before calling in Inoue, she wouldn't be missing right now!"
"That was…a mistake," Urahara admitted readily. "Which is why you two are going to fix it!"
"Remind me again, why is Rukia coming along?"
The shinigami by his side jabbed him sharply in the ribs. "Because Orihime's my friend too, idiot. Besides, I won that last round of rock, paper, scissors fair and square." She, too, was covered in the strange bandages.
"Che. Don't you have Hollows to purify?"
From the back of the room, Ishida stepped forward, pushing his glasses so they reflected the light. "I believe Sato and I will be able to take care of any local incidents while you two are gone. Just bring Inoue back."
"That is, of course, the most important thing." Urahara agreed. "Are you two ready?"
Ichigo and Rukia traded a glance before nodding.
After Orihime's reiatsusignature had vanished off the map, her group of friends had sped to her last known location: Urahara's shop. Ichigo was literally ready to slice the building in half before a defensive Ururu came to stop him in a frilly pink apron. Then Urahara stumbled out, Tessai in tow, and gave a brief explanation of his 'accident' to the crowd gathered before his front door.
Seconds later, his front door was gone, Ururu had kicked into Genocide Mode ("Offensive actions detected. Must defend shop!"), and there were Quincy arrows sticking out of his hat as he expertly avoided the attempts on his life.
Though he missed seeing the blur of black before Yoruichi leaped up and scratched his face.
To make a long story short, Urahara was stuck working for three sleepless days to create a safe way to use his portals. The rest picked lots for the rescue and retrieval mission, and Ichigo and Rukia had ended up the winners. In the present time, Urahara allowed himself a small smile as he viewed the pair standing before the portal.
'Orihime-chan has some very good friends.'
"Oi, what're you smiling at? Hurry up and activate the seals already!"
"Right, right," Urahara said. "Now, the activation phrase is—"
"This isn't anything like your 'magic armor', is it?" Ichigo cut in suspiciously. Yelling about the 'POWER OF JUSTICE!(6)' had been embarrassing enough the first time around.
The smile grew. "Of course not."
"Good, because—"
"—all you have to say is 'MOON COSMIC POWER, MAKE UP!'"
xxx
Five minutes and fifteen new bruises later, Urahara was chuckling sheepishly behind his fan as he activated the seals with a wordless command. Instantly, the bandages wrapped around Ichigo and Rukia began to glow with a soft blue light, before brightening and encasing their wearers in a translucent cocoon.
"Looks good so far," Urahara mumbled, as Rukia poked experimentally at the walls of her sphere and Ichigo scowled. "Ichigo, try testing the portal now."
The last time he'd tried, it'd nearly ate through his arm. A frowning Ichigo inched towards the door and leaned over so that the edge of his cocoon was inside.
There was a faint crackling sound as his shield made contact, but that was it. Ichigo breathed a sigh of relief.
"The shield's holding."
"Good." Urahara nodded. "Rukia, do you have the replica of the machine I gave you?"
From her robes, Rukia briefly produced a small metal box, also wrapped in bandages. "It's here."
"Remember to relay my instructions when you find Inoue. She's the only one who can bring you all back."
The female shinigami nodded before carefully replacing the box in a secure pouch around her neck.
"Well then, if that's all…" Urahara waved a hand at them. "You can jump in anytime!"
Ichigo glared at him before turning to his body. "Kon, look after my sisters, all right?"
The mod-soul gave him a loopy grin that looked completely wrong on Ichigo's face. "You can count on me!"
Ichigo ignored that and turned to his other friends. "Chad, Ishida…you have my permission to pound him if he doesn't behave. Just…don't leave any scars." Kon's face fell as Chad nodded, while Ishida's expression was unreadable behind the glare of his glasses.
"I have two months left in my assigned mission to the living world," Rukia said. "We'll try to return before then."
The shopkeeper agreed, and with that, Ichigo and Rukia took one last breath—"Oh, I almost forgot!" Urahara said suddenly— before jumping through the portal. The last thing they heard was the shopkeeper's voice ringing through the darkness.
"Bring back some souvenirs!"
And then they were falling, falling, falling…
-ooo-
[A/N: We jump back to Orihime here and get a vignette of her life in Suna. She's gotten a reputation amongst the townspeople as a fixer-upper who can restore anything back to its original condition, provided they give her food. As it turns out….
O realizes that the energy she's sensing everywhere is chakra, and the elements she sensed in sand and nature is nature chakra. It's present in the food, too. Her world doesn't have it, but it's definitely spirit energy, and it's even present in the food she eats.
O realizes that she can increase her spirit energy by eating fresh food, like uncooked fruits and vegetables-or raw sushi, if it comes to that. And funny things happen as a result: she gets more power, and needs a way to unleash it. So she starts helping out around Suna, "restoring" things back to their original forms.
Besides helping out with people's injuries, this includes restoring the local buildings and natural environment , too. ]
xxx
"I'll see what I can do," Orihime said, placing her palms on the water's surface. She still felt very full after her latest meal, the so called natural chakra of this world mixing with elements of her own reiryokuto expand and swirl around her like a gathering storm.
'Maybe I can get rid of the extra energy by putting more power into my abilities.'
Thus the orange haired girl closed her eyes and willed the pond to return to its regular state before the drought had plagued Suna.
There was a curious fact about Wind Country. Thousands of years ago, before the first ninja villages, it had a thriving subtropical climate and was home to the Elemental Countries' largest expanse of rainforests. So when Orihime used her newly boosted powers on the pond, she didn't just raise its water levels. She restored it to its most original, pristine form.
Ebizo's fishing pole clattered to the ground as Orihime finished, a little disoriented by how much power that'd taken out of her. Even stranger, though…
'Do I hear birds? And something smells like flowers…' Orihime almost sneezed in surprise as something tickled her nose, and opened her eyes to see a butterfly flutter past her face.
'There are butterflies in the desert?' Orihime thought, standing. Then she looked up, and her jaw dropped.
Where once was a meager fishing pond was now a gigantic lake, bordered with lush trees and tropical flowers. As she continued to stare, a sudden roar broke the surface, and a giant fish easily twice her size flipped into the air before diving with a resounding splash that scattered a fine spray of droplets.
"Oh." Orihime breathed. "This is—"
Whump.
Gray eyes flickered over to where an old man had fainted in a dead heap on the ground.
"E-Ebizo-jiisan?!"
[A/N: Apparently Suna used to be a thriving oasis before Shukaku messed it up with all his sand in a rampage years and years ago. (This is my headcanon, btw, for plot stuffs)
O starts serendipitously by fixing the drying fish pond in the Honored Sibling's backyard…and ends up making a lake in the middle of the desert. Cue jaw-dropping from Ebizo, who was only expecting his dead fish to be restored to life again.
Eventually, O starts restoring other parts of Suna as well, turning the village and surrounding areas into a tropical oasis.]
-ooo-
Thunder and lightning fought for dominance as a storm screamed over the skies of Water Country. But even they seemed to catch their breath in surprise when dark clouds suddenly ripped apart to reveal an endless expanse of night.
The next second, two streaks of bright blue light fell through the opening, splashing into a raging river below. Moments later, two heads popped up in the river and struggled to stay afloat as the current swept them downstream. Most impressive was the orange-haired boy, who was somehow staying afloat while waving a gigantic sword above his head at the same time.
xxx
"GAH." Ichigo choked, and coughed up another mouthful of water as he dragged his body to shore. "I…cough…almost…cough, cough…died back there!"
[A/N: Basically Ichigo & Rukia end up in Water Country and swim to shore from a stormy river. Nothing much here, just some banter b/t the two as they search for civilization. They eventually find the Hidden Village in the Mist, thanks to tracking chakra signatures.]
"This looks like a town. Scratch that, a village." Ichigo frowned. "A very…old-fashioned village."
"The buildings remind me of Rukongai," Rukia said, glancing around, spotting a person scurrying away. 'And the people seem to dress similarly as well.' She brightened a bit, and tugged on Ichigo's sleeve.
"I think I see a wine house up ahead, Ichigo!"
"I'm too young to drink, Rukia."
Punch!
"It's to get information!" Rukia huffed. "That's what all the heroes do in stories before they start their adventure."
"What, you think this is a manga or something?"
The petite shinigami flushed and crossed her arms. "Oh, just come already. And let me do the talking, all right? I've done tons of infiltration missions before, this'll be a piece of cake!"
[A/N: They basically take refuge at a local wine shop, but get noticed by some of the less savory patrons—some of them happen to be enemies of Momochi Zabuza, and mistake Ichigo as Zabuza in poor disguise. (At this point, Ichigo and Rukia have brought out and donned their face masks to attract less attention.)
So when Ichigo and Rukia make to leave, they are confronted.]
Thug 1: "You've got some nerve showing up here, kid. Half of Hidden Mist's out for your blood."
Thug 2: "Rumors were you got killed by a genin team from Konoha, but now I know it was all bull to throw us off your tracks."
And then one of them takes R hostage and goes:
Thug 2: Just drop your sword, and we won't hurt the boy.
Ichi: "Hey, what do you think you're doing?"
R "Ichigo, calm down. We have to keep a low profile!" *forced polite tone* I'm actually a girl…"
Thug: You shut up! You're fooling no one with a chest like that!
R: Excuse me?
Thug: Like I said, the brat's life in your hands. Drop that sword now!
R *annoyed*: I am NOT a boy!
*releases shikai*
Thug 2: Watch out! The pipsqueak's got an ice-based bloodline limit!
Thug 2: Don't get anywhere near him!
R: I am NOT a HIM!
*proceeds with smackdown*
I: gapes, then dies laughing.
[A/N: Thanks to Hidden Mist's "wonderful" political situation, they end up fighting for their lives to escape the country. Some impromptu battles and battle monologue go here, and Ichigo somehow earns the name as the Legendary 8th Swordsman of the Hidden Mist, Kurosakki Ichigo—the "Black Death Strawberry" or "Blackberry" or "Deathberry" for short. Ichigo and Rukia next make it to Land of River(?) and meet Itachi and Kisame, but I'll get back to that in a bit. Just imagine terrified ninja escaping from Ichigo and Rukia, though…]
(RUN! It's HIM!
The Strawberry!)
MEANWHILE, in Konoha, the Chuunin Exams are still going on. The 4th Kazekage manages to contact Baki about the true state of things and the Sand shinobi start a systematic plan to betray the Sound at the Finals. A few days before they're slated to start, a fully recovered Kazekage goes to Hidden Sound in secret and buries the village alive in sand. Bye, bye, secret bases.
Then, he decides to accompany Orihime as her unoffical bodyguard to Konoha, where she will be hailed as a special ambassador/guest. (Remember, by this time it's been a month since she's arrived in Naruto-world, so her reputation has had time to grow.)
By now, Orihime's fame has grown around the world as some sort of "miracle healer", rivaling the Legendary Sannin Tsunade in power AND assets. So naturally, when news of her going to Konoha arises, a curious Shizune tells Tsunade. Tsunade is interested at this so-called miracle healer but reluctant to go to Konoha just because of a rumor. She'd rather go to Suna and check out their latest resort lake!
Shizune sighs but is forced to agree.
Jiraiya is getting all this info from his spy network but doesn't know what to believe. Suna has a "Sorahime-Sora no Hime?" (Princess of the Sky/Sky Princess), said to perform miracles-he doubts it because he's never heard of her before, and thinks she's just one of the Cloud Daimiyo's daughters (since the damiyo has so many wives) trying to get attention for her village, after Suna started a tourism industry with the rediscovering of their lake and other tropical goodies. He IS intrigued by her so-called good looks, however. (Typical Jiraiya).
There's also rumors that the Demon of the Hidden Mist, Momochi Zabuza, and his apprentice/sidekick, Haku, have magically returned to life-which he seriously doubts, as he's been to Wave firsthand to see the Great Naruto Bridge AND talked with Kakashi about the Wave Mission, so they ought to be dead.
And besides, what kind of Zabuza in disguise would name himself after a strawberry and dye his hair to match? Plus, why would Haku insist he was a girl when people finally accepted the fact that he was a boy after all these years?
(Though the Seven Swordsman ARE named after produce…maybe Momochi Zabuza was trying to make his single debut by branching out into the fruit category? Wait, there was that Ringo girl before she died…)
So we have political intrigue on the Konoha side, political planning (and a travel caravan) on the Suna side, a Orochimaru interested in the rumors of the Sky Princess but not too perturbed since he has an invasion to plan (besides, she's coming to Konoha which fits in with his shenanigans perfectly well).
Next we move to Ichigo and Rukia in River Country. They've been trying to find news of Orihime while fending off attacks from Hunter-nin and other ninja/mercenaries hired by people that Zabuza owed debts to. It's a lot of trouble trying to hide with a big sword and orange hair…
They FINALLY get wind of her from the gossip lines as a miracle worker from Suna going to Konoha, and decide to make Hidden Leaf their next destination. The reason this is common knowledge is because the 4th Kazekage made plans to enlarge her publicity so his own dealings would be overlooked. (At this point, Orochimaru is still masquerading as "him" in Konoha and it's too risky to make contact with the Sandaime yet. So yeah, he's basically using Orihime for his own gains. Orihime has a sense that something's not quite right, but looks forward to the possibility of learning more about ninja life and maybe a way to get out of here, since Konoha has so many clans with specialized techniques.)
By chance, Ichigo and Rukia meet Itachi and Kisame, on a mission from their leader to investigate this "princess" going to Konoha and maybe nab a demon vessel or two in the mix. The interaction (which I called the Akatsuki Side-Episode in my notes) was supposed to go something like this:
Ichigo bumps into Kisame's bandaged sword while going out of a bar, and is certain that he was "nipped" by the weapon (it eats chakra and finds Ichigo's spiritual energy is pretty tasty). Rukia scoffs when she hears of it afterwards.
Meanwhile, Samehada (the sword) tells Kisame that Ichigo tasted different
K: How different?
S: …don't know.
K: *snorts*
S: …strong….
K: *is interested* ('cause he's bored outta his mind anyways waiting for Itachi)
He finds Ichigo and Rukia in the street in town and challenges him to a fight.
Kisame: "My sword wants to meet/eat you."
Ichigo: WTHeck.
Rukia: he has a powerful presence
Rukia: What's more, his sword….it's glowing?
Ichigo and Rukia move to woods, Kisame follows with psychotic grin.
They trade a few blows, enough to get insight into each other.
Samehada: his sword (zanpakuto) is like me! It has a will.
Kisame: Oh?
Kisame: This'll be interesting.
Then, just when they get serious, Itachi shows up and demands to know what Kisame is doing. Ichigo looks at the two, puts his reasons together, and asks Kisame:
Ichigo: Are you Momochi Zabuza?
Kisame: …what, that brat? Don't kid me.
Itachi: What gave you that idea?
Rukia: People keep mistaking us for them. A demon with a sword, and a young boy.
Kisame: You're the young'un here. Kids shouldn't poke their noses where it doesn't belong.
Rukia is ruffled and mentally thinking she's 10x older than this guy, when Itachi cuts in and politely clears up the misunderstanding, and asks if they're from outta town.
Ichigo: You could say that.
I & R glance at each other, before R says they're looking for a friend, and heard that she might be in Konoha. Do they know the way?
Kisame glances at Itachi, who looks ahead in silence. Finally, Itachi nods, saying that they're going the same direction, and they're welcome to come. Kisame raises an eyebrow, but doesn't protest. Instead, he grins at Ichigo and hopes they can have a proper rematch one day.
Ichigo thinks that Kisame and Kenpachi would get along eerily well and says yeah, whatever. And the four start moving to Konoha. Itachi remarks that Ichigo & Rukia are not ninja, and Ichigo instantly agrees.
Itachi: Samurai, perhaps?
Ichigo: *snorts*
Ruki shoots him a glare, before tactfully telling Itachi that they are warriors of a sort, and asks if Itachi and Kisame are similar, since they wear such distinctive cloaks.
Itachi: The Akatsuki is…a very special organization.
Rukia: I see. You have very skilled embroiderers/seamtresses. (She's trying to be polite here, of course, praising the pretty red clouds sewn on the backs.)
Now Kisame snorts, while Itachi says that they outsource the making of their cloaks to local civilians. (Cue side monologue about the business side of Akatsuki and how it betters the common person's livelihood. Cue also in-jokes about the guy in charge of finances.) Ichigo remarks that Ishida would probably be interested in that (sewing) and gets promptly ignored. Kisame remarks that they'll have to hurry if they want to make it on time, and Itachi merely asks if Rukia and Ichigo can travel fast.
In answer, Ichigo shunpos to the nearest tree ahead of the group and smirks—only to blink as Itachi's voice comes from another tree further away.
Itachi: Very well. Let us depart without further delay.
And the four start moving to Konoha. At this point, neither group knows the other is also interested in Orihime as well.
Somewhere here is an episode where Tsunade and Shizune visit Suna and are wowed by how much the village has changed. Its tourism industry is picking up and a lot of civilians are coming to visit. After the usual round of debts, Tsunade offers her services as a medic-nin (no blood though!) to pay some of it off, and it's through here that she hears more about the so-called Sora no hime of Suna (Sorahime, Orihime-it's a name that both sounds like Orihime's own and half-pays homage to her late brother). She investigates further, eventually reaching the Honored Siblings who tell her nothing except that the rumors around the village are true.
Now she's finally interested, because half of what Orihime's done is impossible by ninja standards, so she decides to hurry over to Konoha as well.
[Less organized notes here, this is pure outline now. This is the KONOHA INVASION ARC]
Arrival of Orihime in Konoha comes the day before the finals start. She settles in and looks around while her retinue (including the 4th Kazekage disguised as her retainer) go to finalize battle plans. Ichigo, Rukia, Itachi and Kisame arrive as the finals begin. Ichigo and Rukia enter the village, but Itachi/Kisame stay behind to wait things out a bit.
Invasion starts, Orihime senses Ichigo's reiatsu from the safehouse she's been placed in (really a formality, she could get out by rejection powers but is too polite to try) and rushes out to look for him.
Gaara loses control.
Orochimaru attacks the 3rd Hokage, who dodges, and Orochimaru gets engulfed in sand as 4th Kazekage attacks him. It's a surprise counter-attack!
At a signal, the stands knock out and Sand began attacking Sound with Leaf.
Continuation of battle, Ichigo/Rukia's efforts to stay alive, Orihime's efforts to find Ichigo and help out the panicking people, when she's distracted by a familiar sense of a Hollow and rushes towards there instead.
Scene change (and a time change a few moments back) to the 3rd Hokage fighting Orochimaru in his barrier, with 4th Kazekage outside, trying to get in. 3rd has summoned the Shinigami, which Orihime felt as the "Hollow" (it canonically eats souls, so that's how I'm interpreting it.) Ichigo and Ruki arrive too, sensing the same thing. After a brief reunion, Orihime opens hole in Orochimaru's barrier with her rejection powers for 4th Kazekage and Ichigo to get in. (She also keeps the ninja out for their own safety.) 4th Kazeage attacks Orochimaru and dead Hokages, Ichigo helps and gets swordfight scenes in, and Rukia freezes the 4 Sound nin holding up the barrier. Orihime is shielding herself and gets help from random Leaf jounin as well to deflect attacks from around them.
In the end, 4th Kazekage and Ichigo destroy the bodies holding the souls of the previous Hokages and Sound nin. Orihime is horrified when they collapse into ashes.
Rukia realizes Orochimaru is a Soul too, borrowing someone else's body and drags him out with her shinigami powers. At one point, Orochimaru escapes to try and possess Ichigo's body—only to escape screaming with cuts when Zangetsu and Hollow!Ichigo chase him out. (Like, really bad choice there, dude.)
Orihime ends up destroying the Hollow (Shinigami) summoned by the 3rd in view of all witnesses, inadvertently earning God status in the Narutoworld. Rukia performs konso on all the souls present (more on that later), including a rogue Orochimaru—only to have the Gates of Hell open up in reaction and drag him in. (Remember that, I'll use this crossover option later.)
The end results leave the 3rd Hokage and 4th Kazekage completely flabbergasted. 3rd Hokage happily gets to live since his soul wasn't stolen!
(There's also a little montage here where the 4th Kazekage gets a little lesson on love and treating your children right from the dead Hokages, but I wasn't sure if I could fit that in.)
In the aftermath, Rukia and Ichigo are ready to go home, but Orihime convinces them to stay a bit longer and help Konoha recover from the invasion. Jiraiya also gets to meet her in person while learning the full story and is suitably enamored.
Orihime gets offers of honorary citizenship from all the hidden countries, and even an offer from the Cloud damiyo to adopt her as his daughter (trying to play off her Sky Princess/Soranohime title), thus making her royalty. It's all political maneuvering of course, since nobody wants to let a potent source of power go, but Orihime diplomatically decides to remain independent but under Suna's protection until the chaos settles (by which time they'll be gone from Naruto-world. Convenient.)
She does jokingly talk about these offers while resting with Ichigo and Rukia, and says maybe she should just stay here… Ichigo is shocked, and then Orihime laughs, says just kidding! And proceeds to give Ichigo a hug.
(I'm really happy you came to look for me.)
Afterwards during the cleanup, we get cameos from other Naruto characters including the main cast. Er, as you can see, I didn't really focus on them here, preferring the older demographic, pfft. There's a funny little story I planned to do with Naruto clones too, but I didn't think that out before I stopped plotting this.
When most of the work is done, we move on to the…
KIDNAPPING/RESCUE ARC (or I would call it that, but fate intervened early)
Orihime rests in her room and meets Itachi, who knocks on her door. She lets him in, wondering if he's there for something, and notices his funny eyes. (Red with commas in them! How strange…) She's even more confused when his partner, Kisame comes in.
Itachi: Are you the Sora no Hime?
Orihime: *waves hands wildly* Um, you don't have to call me that. It's just a silly title…
Itachi: Nevertheless, it belongs to you?
Orihime: Yes. Do you need any assistance? *slight sense of foreboding*
Itachi: Very well. Our leader wishes to meet you.
Orihime glances at him, then Kisame, who bares a smile with his teeth. She takes in Kisame's blueness, while flashbacking to her first thoughts in the desert. This was it! She was going to meet the boss of all the aliens! "Is he blue?" (fanon reference to Orihime and the blue men quote, please excuse me)
Kisame: "Eh?"
Itachi: …no.
Orihime: Oh. Are any other of you…blue?
Kisame: I'll be the only blue thing you'll see in a long time, girl.
Orihime: All right. Let me just tell my friends—
Itachi: That will not be necessary.
Orihime: Why not?
Itachi: Time is of the essence.
Orihime: is serious disturbed now, and tries to close the door, but Itachi steps inside. She has a shield up before he can get any closer, and starts to call out
Orihime: "ICHI—"
And promptly slumps to the floor, shields out, as Itachi uses Sharingan to knock her out. (Unfortunately, her shields are semi-transparent.)
Itachi nods to Kisame, who picks Orihime up & slings her over his back.
As the two turn, they see Ichigo coming down the hallway.
Ichigo: Did you call—
He pauses, seeing Kisame and Itachi.
Ichi: "What are you—wait a minute, is that—"
Ichi suddenly draws his sword. "What are you doing with Inoue?!"
Ita glances at Kisame, who departs with Orihime ASAP out a window
Ichi: "Hey! I'm talking to you!"
He charges towards them with sword raised, but gets stopped by one of Itachi holding a shuriken.
Ichi: "Get outta my—"
Ita: "Tsukiyomi."
Ichi gets pulled into Ita's inner world and gets tortured… (I assume since this is Itachi's mindscape, not Ichigo's, Zangetsu & Hollow!Ichigo are no help here. Welp.)
3 seconds in real world later, Ichi slumps over. Ita makes his escape.
Orihime has been kidnapped.
(I didn't plan too far after this. Basically, this was where the genin of Konoha/Suna were supposed to get their spotlight with Ichigo/Rukia. At this point, the 4th Kazekage informs the 3rd Hokage that he has destroyed Sound Village and will help with capturing the rogue Sound nin with his ninja. To that extent, 3rd sends various teams to help as well.)
Because of this and recovery efforts, there isn't much to spare for the rescue mission, though it's a lot better than the canon timeline. I wasn't sure if I wanted to send Gaara and Naruto after them because that's playing into the Akatsuki's hands, but Ichigo and Rukia were definitely going to go.
Ichigo doesn't take as long to recover from his mental trauma thanks to previous mental trauma training with his Hollow. He's got a stronger mind than most, so he gets on his feet sooner.
At the same time, Tsunade and Shizune have been making their way slowly towards Konoha, getting distracted by every hot spring resort/casino on the way. They cross paths with Itachi/Kisame and a fight breaks out.
I think I planned for Ichigo and Rukia to catch up and start a massive final fight here. Itachi and Kisame would've ended up escaping, leaving some ends untied, but they would've gotten Orihime back.
Depending on the tone, Orihime would've continued to stay with Ichigo and Rukia to clean up the ninja village crises or leave. :D She definitely would've wanted to say goodbye to the Honored Siblings and her Suna friends, but I got too tired to keep going.
I was planning for a world peace ending in the end. :)
WHEN EVERYTHING'S FINISHED:
Ichigo, Rukia, and Orihime leave in a beam of light. They get back safely and share their adventures, and Urahara demands his share of souvenirs. Orihime offers up some 'orange book' Jiraiya gave her in tribute (she didn't have time to read it, fortunately), Ichigo the Akatsuki cloak he stole and Rukia a random mascot items from the Suna resort.
Jiraiya writes his next best-selling Icha Icha series, featuring an orange-haired swordsman, a mysterious dimension hopping princess and a katana-wielding crossdressing samurai chick.
4th Kazekage gets to be a good father, and "adopts" the wayward Sound nin into his own village, as he needs more nin to run it. Kimimaro lives and gets healed by Orihime, maybe? Hidden Sand becomes half resort-village, the best high-security luxury retreat in the Elemental Countries. No more bankruptcy!
The Sand damiyo gets wind of it and decides to take a vacation-he likes it so much there, he decides to reinstate some missions to the Hidden Village-including lots of escort ones for him and his family when they decide to go on vacation.
Sasuke doesn't run away to Sound, and grows up to be properly reunited with his brother (Was going to resolve this somehow in a sequel or something, I think.)
Tobi/Madara, Pein and Danzo try their own hand at opening dimensional portals in search for more power. This is only possible because Kabuto managed to get samples of Orihime's DNA via her hair (he disguised himself as a Konoha hairdresser when she came to the village). When Orochimaru was defeated, he was forced to run for it, but left some of the samples behind (thus, Danzo got some). Akatsuki killed him on the run somewhere and got the rest.
Truthfully, portals weren't their first goal, but reverse summoning (via Edo Tensei) to see if they could harness the power of the "true" Kami-sama, Orihime, or at least her soul, to use her amazing healing/rejection powers against each other. Think of it as a Cold War between two teams of megalomaniacs. ^^;
One day, Danzo actually succeeds…but since Orihime isn't dead, he doesn't get her soul but her last soul signature, which was in Soul Society-in the labs of the 12th division, right in the middle of Mayuri's experiments. (Surprise, surprise, he has samples too.) It doesn't go well for him, and now we have Mayuri with Sharingan eyeballs. Tobi and Madara end up in Hueco Mundo (another place where Orihime's visited and left behind some remnants of hair/DNA, thanks to that whole Loly episode), and either take over the place or get eaten by Hollows. Either way, it's pretty rough on them.
So all in all, a happily ever after! Except for Danzo…
(I was going to explain how the afterlife is all connected because it's in some wonky different dimension, and the only reason Bleach and Naruto never crisscrossed is because nobody ever opened the doors between them until Ichi/Ruki/Orihime's fight against Orochimaru/Shinigami-san. This would've set up more plot arcs, including a possible sequel set in the Bleach verse where the dead Hokages take up positions in Soul Society or other similar ideas. I had a loot of ideas.)
-ooo-
