This is the last chapter to this story, but I will be updating more to "Time After Time Short Stories", as well as the longer stories in this verse as their own stories when I get to them.
Many, many thanks to everyone who reviewed, favored and alerts.
I hope your question is answered in this, hpswst101. Thanks again, and I hope you enjoy the conclusion.
CHAPTER THREE
Jack lingered in the threshold of Stephanie's room, staring into the near darkness that was broken by the nightlight in the wall. He could make out his daughter curled up in her bed, hugging her favorite stuffed teddy bear, as she slept. He smiled tenderly, his heart once again swelling with pride and love for their daughter.
He finally turned from the room, softly closing the door behind him. He heard Ianto moving around in the other rooms. When he was finished giving Stephanie her bath, and he had her in her warm snuggly pajamas and a dry shirt for himself, Ianto joined them in Stephanie's room, where they took turns reading from a book until they noticed she had fallen asleep. Ianto got up and leaned over to kiss his daughter's forehead. He then went back to where Jack still sat, the older man wearing a fond, loving smile. Ianto grasped Jack's hands and leaned over to lightly kiss Jack's lips, asking Jack to give him a few more minutes before leaving the bedroom.
When Jack finally left the hallway and entered the lounge, he noticed Ianto standing in the dining area, next to the table. Jack started to smile more as he noticed the table set for an intimate dinner for two. The bouquet he had brought home for Ianto was placed on the table, along with their fine china with their dinner already on the plates, along with platters for seconds. A bottle of wine was also set on the table. Jack went over to Ianto, putting his arms around his partner and kissing him tenderly.
"This looks wonderful, Ianto," he stated.
"I'm glad. It's been a while since we did this." Ianto hung his head. "I guess my mind had been on other things. I'm sorry, Jack."
Jack lifted Ianto's head with two fingers under his chin. Gazing into his partner's beautiful eyes, he said, "I'm sorry too, Ianto. I'm sure there could have been a better way I could have handled it."
"Me too," Ianto agreed.
Jack's hold on Ianto got tighter and they kissed again, Ianto's arms going around Jack's neck. They parted with a gasp, catching their breath.
"I guess we should sit down and eat before it gets cold," Ianto said.
"Mm… yeah." Jack smiled at Ianto and taking his hand, guided Ianto to their seats.
They started to eat their dinner, mostly talking about Stephanie. "She's a special girl," Jack said, reaching for more meat and grinning at Ianto. "She's a lot like her Tad."
Ianto smiled at Jack as he also went for seconds. "And also like her Daddy. I look at her and can't believe how lucky we are."
"Yeah. Tell me." Jack lifted his wine glass and noticed that Ianto's face fell a little. "Ianto, please don't be upset. We just need to learn a little patience, and I'm sure we'll have another beautiful child to love."
"I can't help thinking to give up, Jack. I don't want to do that, but it's obvious that if we have a second child, it won't be me carrying him or her."
Jack put down his glass and took Ianto's hand in his. "I know what it means to you, Ianto. I understand it's the culture of your father's people. Maybe you won't ever be able to, or maybe if our next child is from me again, that doesn't mean that we won't have a third because of you." He squeezed Ianto's hand tighter, looking into his partner's eyes. "Everyone else we know have only one option for bringing children into the world. And considering we're two blokes, we should be lucky that we can have our own children through one of us. Please, Ianto, don't feel like a failure or that you let our love down because you're not pregnant yet. Stephanie is our child, Ianto. I couldn't have done it without you. If it means anything, when I found out I was having her, you couldn't have given me a better gift than creating a child with me."
"I know, Jack. I'm being silly getting so upset over it. And I shouldn't feel like a failure. Not with our little girl." He managed to give Jack a small smile. "Not with having you. But it's hard. I'm sorry. I'm causing all of us to suffer when there's no need, huh?"
Jack's smile was tender. "You have no idea what you're saying to me when you make it clear how much this means to you. I think you love me more than possible and then I realize you can love me more. And I'm thankful for it, and hope I'm returning all that love to you."
Ianto toyed with his food using his free hand, suddenly looking flustered. When he raised his eyes to Jack, they were shining. "You do, Jack. That's why this is important to me."
"Fine. I accept that." Jack took a sip of his wine. "Let's finish our dinner and take the rest of this conversation on the couch."
"You're right."
"Ianto, I do love you. And I'll never leave you. And…" Jack shook his finger at Ianto, "Don't ever think I'll love you less if you don't get pregnant. Far from the truth. What we have isn't based on that."
Ianto gave Jack a small smile. "You're right again, of course. Now finish your dinner. I have some raspberry truffle cheesecake for dessert."
Jack's grin grew. "You see that? You really do love me," he remarked.
Ianto found himself chuckling. "Yeah, I guess I do."
After dinner, they settled on the couch, the lights off, and the lounge bathed in candlelight. Jack had his arm around Ianto, holding him close. Jack inhaled, his nose buried in Ianto's hair and smiled. "I missed this," he sighed happily. "I missed just sitting here like this, enjoying the simplicity of just holding you." His eyes turned a little sad.
"What is it, Jack?" Ianto asked, sensing the change in Jack's mood.
Jack shook his head. "It's just… we lost this, Ianto. In the last few months we didn't have this. And… well, this is silly, because you were here with me, but… sometimes I would realize how much I missed doing things like this with you and it reminded me of those years when I wanted nothing more than to just be able to hold you, feel your warm body next to mine… and you weren't there. How I believed I would never again know what it was like, except in my memories."
Ianto shifted slight so he was the one who was now holding Jack. He nuzzled Jack's jaw. "I'm so sorry, Jack. I'm sorry I had to leave you, but we had no choice that day. If was either taking the chance of getting killed or having them flood Cardiff with radiation for many years to come. I hate that we had to choose the many over each other." He softly kissed Jack's lips. "To be honest, when I knew it was over for me, I really found no comfort in knowing that you would come back. Because I knew what it would be like when you did, and discovered I wasn't there with you. I knew, because that's how I would feel if it was reversed."
"I managed to go on. I even learned to laugh again, to embrace life and enjoy it. Only because you taught me how, because I knew you wouldn't want it any other way. I lived life honoring you, Ianto. And that day when you came into my life as Stefaine… I felt that same familiarity with you, but I never dared to hope that I would find the same special something again. Maybe, had you never gotten your memories back, I still might have built a life with Stefaine, and it probably would have been great, but never would have been the same as what we do have," Jack confessed. "That next morning, when the memories of your previous life came back, when you started to tell me things that only my Ianto would know…." He buried his face in Ianto's neck. His voice muffled, he finished, "I knew a miracle had happened. I had you back in my arms again." He kissed the flesh near his mouth. "And I never want to lose that again."
"Meanwhile the way I was acting made you afraid it might happen, right?" Ianto asked. "Maybe not as permanently as that first time, but it still hurt. It made you remember things you no longer have to live with."
"Yeah," Jack agreed. "Hold me, Ianto."
Ianto remained silent as he did as requested. After a few minutes, he broke the silence. "Talk to me, Jack. Talk to me without fear of hurting my feelings, and tell me what was on your mind that kept you away from me so much lately."
Jack lifted his head and cupped Ianto's cheek. "What I've been saying all tonight. I missed us. We hardly had any time like this anymore. We cuddled and within a few minutes, you're expecting me to pull down our trousers and fuck you." His eyes bore into Ianto's. "Yes, I use that word exactly as it sounds. To fuck. Stick it in, ejaculate, and pull out. Repeat again in a few hours." Jack shook his head. "We no longer make love. At first, I thought I didn't mind. That we would connect soon, so I should take it for what it was. That I should be thankful I still had you to do even that. But then it wasn't enough. I'm sorry, Ianto. But with all the combined years of loving you, making love with you, it's never just about the lust. Even when it's lust that's controlling us. There was always something deeper between us. It wasn't there anymore. I started to feel… used." Jack tore his eyes away from Ianto and hung his head. "Almost abused," he said so low that Ianto barely heard him.
"Oh God," Ianto muttered. He placed both his hands on Jack's face and started to plant soft butterfly kisses on the beloved face of his partner. "Jack, I'm so sorry. Damn, that's almost like rape, isn't it? I never intended to…"
"I know, Ianto. I know you didn't. Which is why it made it harder to just sit down and talk to you. So I pulled away." Jack gave a bitter laugh. "Quite a stupid thing to do when I was worried about it eventually tearing us apart. I was doing that quite well on my own, wasn't I?"
"I didn't realize. Jack, forgive me? Please."
Jack pressed his face close to Ianto. "Already forgiven. Always." He sighed as Ianto's fingertips caressed his face. "I wouldn't go as far as crying rape, because I pulled away before it got to that."
"But you still felt somewhat abused."
Jack nodded, unable to lie. "I'm sorry."
"Nothing for you to be sorry for. Oh damn, Jack. Here I was so intent on giving you, what is to me, the ultimate expression of love, and instead I ended up hurling insults and pain at you. How can you ever forgive me?"
"Because I love you, Ianto, and I understand why you were doing what you were. And please, don't start hating yourself over it. That's not going to solve our problems if you suddenly pull away because of it. Besides, Stephanie will notice. And we don't want to hurt her anymore than we've both been doing."
"No, no, Jack. You're right. We don't. She doesn't deserve to suffer because her dads can't get their heads screwed on right. And maybe this is saying that if we're doing this to one child and we need to do some damage control, maybe we're not ready to have another yet."
"I don't think we got to the point of traumatizing Stephanie for life, and now that we realize it, we'll do everything we can to make up for what we did do." Jack rested his head against Ianto's. "The best thing we can do for her – and for us – is to go back to what we were before we decided to get you pregnant." He moved his head again and shifted to take Ianto's hands in his. "That doesn't mean we're giving up. But we're going to take another approach. If and when it happens, it will. In the meantime, don't go back to your protection." He kissed Ianto again, deeply. "We're not giving up, Ianto. Not on you having a baby and not on us."
Ianto nodded, feeling tears sting his eyes. "All I can think is how terribly sorry I am."
"I know. I hurt you too, and I'm so sorry about that. I love you, Ianto. Always."
"I love you too, Jack." The tears started to spill. Jack held him close, allowing Ianto to cry it out, his own tears mingling with his partners.
Jack found an odd comfort in it. He realized they were never alone with their pain, and were proving it as they shared their tears. At some point, neither man knew who was comforting who, and it did not matter.
Jack ended up making them tea once they finally pulled away, leaving Ianto on the couch, giving his partner a chance to pull together his dignity.
When he returned to the lounge, he kept the room still in candlelight but put on music to play softly, a mixture of jazz and favorite love songs After they drank their tea, Jack pulled Ianto to his feet and they danced to a few of the songs they called theirs, including the song they danced to for both their Civil Partnership ceremonies.
As the song ended, their mouths met as they started to kiss again. Ianto's hands ran up and down Jack's back in a soothing, comforting manner. Jack welcomed it as he pressed closer to Ianto.
They ended up on the couch, but both men could not remember moving. They kissed softly, tenderly, murmuring sweet words of love between the kisses. Jack felt Ianto's hands on him again, once again soft and gentle, soothing away all the hurt still left. He felt a need to return the favor. Their clothes remained intact, hands not slipping underneath.
When Jack first arrived home earlier that evening, his intention was to put a stop to having sex for an undetermined amount of time. Knowing him, especially with there being more a lack of lately, he figured it wouldn't last more than a day or two. He did determine when they finally found themselves tumbling in their bed, it would be to make love like they would before things got crazy.
When they finally stood up at some point after midnight, their bodies still close as they continued to kiss and caress, Jack knew what he wanted once they reached their bed.
Inside their bedroom, Jack removed Ianto's shirt, and allowed Ianto to do the same to him. Fingers slid along Ianto's furry chest, lingering in areas in small circles. Ianto's hands were still working out knots in Jack's back and shoulders. Kissing again, Jack moved them toward the bed until the back of his knees hit the mattress. He allowed himself to fall backwards, taking Ianto to land on him. They continued to kiss deeply and passionately. At one point when they paused to catch their breath, feeling totally loved, Jack gazed up at Ianto, cupping his face with a gentle hand. He smiled lovingly at his partner.
"What?" Ianto asked.
"Make love to me, Ianto," Jack whispered.
"Are you sure?" Ianto asked. "I thought you wanted to…."
"I want you, Ianto. I want you to make love to me. Make more feel more loved than I'm already feeling. Please," Jack said, not begging, but with urgency still in his voice.
"Whatever you wish," Ianto replied, his mouth capturing Jack's again for another deep kiss.
Ianto continued to caress Jack, rough hands going over each angle and plane of Jack's body, causing Jack to writhe and moan and cry out, his mind flooded with relief and love. Ianto went excruciatingly slow, ignoring whenever Jack started to insist that Ianto move faster. The younger man would just chuckle and nip the flesh where his mouth currently was. When Ianto's mouth found Jack's throbbing manhood, he took Jack to the edge and then pulled him back a little, only to take him to the edge again, and then left him there. Jack nearly screamed, then found himself moaning as Ianto prepared them both for entry.
Then Jack felt Ianto enter him. Jack found himself clawing at Ianto's back, moaning loudly, telling Ianto what felt good, what he wanted more of. At times, Jack found himself unable to speak because he had Ianto's tongue probing in his mouth, caressing every millimeter of his mouth.
Suddenly Jack felt it – what he had been missing most, and had been craving. More than feeling Ianto filling his body after so long, he felt his lover fill his mind. He arched up in total pleasure, crying out. He felt Ianto's joy of his reactions in his mind. It was that which caused Jack to finally come, spilling over onto both their bellies. A second later, he felt Ianto fill him. His mind glowed brighter, filled with Ianto. Instead of gasping as he usually did right after an intense orgasm, he bubbled up with laughter, clenching Ianto close to him.
He knew then that he was never to be alone. He had not been since he was reunited with the love of his life, his soulmate, the other half of his soul. Even with a less psychic Ianto in his previous life, Jack realized there was always some mental connection between them, binding them. With Ianto now having strong psi levels, and Jack's being higher than normal, he realized that over the years since their reunion they had formed a strong link between them. Over the last few months, the link had diminished. And that was the root of Jack's problems in handling things. He knew now that he needed to feel that link. They were two halves that made a whole.
As Ianto gazed down at him in their afterglow, he could see in Ianto's eyes that his partner had come to the same conclusion. He felt it in his mind. Together, they laughed, holding the other, kissing more.
For the first time in months, they fell asleep that night in each other's arms.
They were awoken the next day by a bundle of energy bouncing up and down on the bed, going from one man to the other. Jack reached out with his arms and snagged the imp, settling her between them, careful to keep her on top of the duvet, realizing that they did not bother to throw on boxers at some point during the night. Jack leaned over and blew a raspberry on their daughter's belly, causing her to screech and giggle loudly, protesting.
"Daddy!" she cried out. She gazed over to Ianto.
Ianto chuckled. "Don't look at me for help, imp." He reached over to tickle her. She squirmed, laughing more.
The family finally settled down, Stephanie between them and awkwardly hugging both her daddies. Jack and Ianto each had an arm around their daughter, grinning madly at her. With their other arms, they reached across Stephanie and interlaced their fingers, resting their joined hands on the happy little girl.
Ianto realized at that moment that while he wouldn't give up on having a child, he was not a failure. What Jack had told him about Stephanie was true. He felt complete at that moment as he relaxed in the bed with his lifemate and the daughter they both created.
He also realized something else at the same time Jack had. He felt it from Jack, and knew Jack was aware they were both feeling it. As they gazed at their baby girl, they knew she felt it too.
The night before while they made love, Jack thought he was a half of the whole, with Ianto being the other half. That morning he knew he was a third. It was him, Ianto and Stephanie that made the whole.
The two men each kissed a chubby cheek of the little girl between then, and then lifted their heads so they could share a tender, loving kiss.
Stephanie watched, with a great big smile and finally clapped her hands. "YAY!" she exclaimed. "Daddy and Taddy love each other!"
Jack and Ianto grinned and smiled down at her. "Yep, that we do, sweet pea," Ianto agreed.
"Oh definitely," Jack said.
"YAY!" Stephanie repeated happily.
THREE MONTHS LATER
Jack and Seleny entered the Hub with Stephanie between them. They had gone out on the lunch run. They noticed Ianto sitting on the couch, grinning like an idiot. Olivia was at her desk, looking pretty pleased with herself.
"What's going on here?" Jack asked, looking amused as Stephanie ran off to greet her Tad. "Stef, no running!" He let out a sigh and shook his head.
Stephanie skidded to a stop, looking back to Jack. "Sorry, Daddy." She attempted to take long, quick steps toward Ianto.
Jack covered his hand to keep himself from busting out in laughter.
Ianto, not having the advantage of hiding, since he was in direct sight of his daughter, could not help his laugh as he held his arms out. Stephanie crawled onto his lap and gave him a sloppy kiss, hugging her. "We have lunch, Taddy!" she exclaimed.
"Really? Well, thank you, sweetheart." Ianto kissed her forehead, running his fingers through her hair. "Why don't we have lunch in the hot house today? Aunt Seleny will help you set up. Won't you, Sel?"
"Wha?" Seleny asked, removing her jacket.
Allan got up from his chair. "Trenton is already up there setting up a table. Here, I'll give you and the little lady a hand. Come along, Stephanie."
"I'll help too," Jack started to offer.
"Actually Jack, I need to speak to you. In your office."
Jack looked curious, but gave Seleny a grin. "I guess I'm in trouble with my better half for something. Go along and we'll join you in a few."
Ianto kissed Stephanie. "Move along, Stef. Surprise Daddy and I with setting up our food on the table."
"YAY surprise!" Stephanie exclaimed. She kissed Ianto and climbed down from his lap, going over to Seleny and Allan. She grabbed onto Allan's free hand, dragging him with her. "Come along, we have to make a pretty table for Daddy and Taddy."
Allan laughed fondly at the child he saw as a niece. "I hope I could have one of those some day," he said to Seleny as Olivia joined them. "Then again, having another whirlwind like this tyke just might tire us all out."
Olivia gave Allan an odd smile. "Yeah, huh?" She gave Seleny a quick peek on her cheek. "Then again, it might be fun."
"It could just be Jack and Ianto's DNA," Seleny commented. "Maybe the rest of us would have children more subdued."
Olivia looked at her lover and shook her head. "You? Subdued? I know you, Sel. And I've heard enough about your mother and I know your Tad. Face it, should you have children, your DNA alone would create a devil spawn."
Allan laughed. "I heard that's what Jack and Ianto used to call you when you were younger."
"Shut up, Allan," Seleny pouted.
Olivia and Allan laughed, while Stephanie still lead them toward the hothouse.
Meanwhile Jack had followed Ianto into his office. Ianto closed the door and lead Jack to the couch, pushing Jack slightly to sit. Jack managed to latch an arm around Ianto's waist, making him to sit with him.
"Okay, what's going on?" Jack asked.
Ianto wrapped his arms around Jack and kissed him passionately, pressing Jack back against the couch.
When Ianto allowed them to come up for air, Jack gasped. "Wow! I take it from a kiss like that, I'm not in trouble."
"Quite the opposite, Jack." Ianto was beaming.
"What's up?" Jack asked, tracing Ianto's face with a finger.
"It happened!" Ianto exclaimed.
"What happened?" Jack asked, studying Ianto.
"Congratulations, Daddy," Ianto tried again.
"Okay… I'm a little lost, Ianto."
Ianto kissed Jack again, and still hugging him, with his face close to Jack's he managed to roll his eyes more in habit than exasperation. "Jack, I'm pregnant."
Jack froze for a moment, his eyes wide. "What? Are you certain?"
Ianto nodded. "Yep! Olivia says that I'm about 10 weeks pregnant."
"You're joking me?" Jack's eyes were still wide.
"Not joking. Serious. Totally serious."
"You're pregnant?" At Ianto's nod, while he rolled his eyes, Jack started to grin. "That's brilliant, Ianto!" He pulled his partner closer, kissing him. "I love you, Ianto."
"I love you too, Jack. Now I can really show you how much."
"You already have, but now…." Jack's grin grew into a bright smile. "We need to celebrate."
"That's why we're having lunch in the hothouse, even if Olivia is the only one to know why a table for us to eat on is being set up."
"I agree, but I mean a real celebration. Me and you. Dinner at a place of your choosing. Maybe Seleny and Olivia will put up with Stef for a few hours."
"I like the idea of a special dinner, but before we leave her with Sel and Livvy, maybe we should also do something special with Stef. That way she knows she's not being pushed aside for the new baby."
"Of course. You have a point there. Hopefully the Rift will stay quiet today. When we call it a day, we'll ask Stef what she wants to do. Then later tonight, we'll drop her off with her two favorite aunts."
"That's a plan. Now kiss me again, and then we should join the others and tell them our news over lunch." Ianto smiled lovingly at Jack.
Jack pulled Ianto close, holding him tightly as they kissed. The kiss lasted longer than they intended. They pulled apart, breathing heavily, grinning at each other. Ianto stood and held his hand out to Jack. "Come along, Jack."
"Yeah. Better leave now, or we won't be leaving for a while." He grinned at Ianto.
They left Jack's office holding hands. "I knew we were trying too hard," Jack said as they sauntered across the Hub.
"Olivia agrees. But she also thinks it had to do with our reconnecting. You were right about something else, Jack. Our just having sex just for the sake of getting me pregnant was the problem."
"Oh?"
Ianto nodded. "Yep. I was stupid and forget something important about my father's race."
"What's that?" Jack stopped them and turned to face Ianto. He snaked one arm around Ianto's waist, while his other hand rested on Ianto's abdomen. His breath caught in his throat and he started to grin.
"Pregnancy is really a result of love on Zaithfa. There aren't any unwanted pregnancies. All children are conceived through love – a love that is lasting. Of course there's fooling around and experimenting on that world. But only when two people who are bonded – which is equal to being married – make love with not only their bodies, but their souls and minds as well, pregnancy occurs. It causes the right chemicals to produce an egg that's ready to be fertilized. When we lost our connection, I lost all chances of getting pregnant. I should have realized that long ago. I'm such an idiot."
Jack leaned closer, with one arm still around Ianto's waist and the other touching his abdomen. "Live and learn," Jack commented. "And like I told Stephanie, we're stronger because of it. It's all in the past now, Ianto. We're in the present." His fingers moved slightly, his face reflecting his awe. "And you're pregnant now." He tenderly kissed Ianto. "Thank you."
Ianto put both his arms around Jack's waist. "Thank you, Jack. It was your love that enabled this to happen."
"Our love, Ianto. Together. As always."
"Indeed." And they kissed once again before heading up to the hothouse.
They laughed when they noticed Stephanie stood against the glass window, staring down watching her daddies, her face pressed against the glass.
"Are you sure we really want another one of those?" Jack laughed, his voice filled with love for their daughter.
"Oh, I think we might survive," Ianto commented.
"Yeah. Even if we don't, it'll be worth it." Jack lifted Ianto's hand that he held and kissed it. "You are worth it."
Ianto's eyes were glittering with tears of happiness as they entered the hothouse. Together, they made the appropriate noises of pleasure at how Stephanie had directed the others to set up the table for their lunch. Jack picked up the little girl, holding her close in one arm, while holding Ianto's hand.
Together the happy, but expanding family joined their teammates and friends at the table to share their happy news.
~FIN~
