Okay that guest review cracked me up.

Last chapter. I can't believe this fic got as many reviews as it did. I expected like…two at most. I feel bad it won't be longer, but the waa stops here. Thanks for joining me on this wild ride. Enjoy!


It had been three days since the ball. Wii Fit Trainer could find nothing to do with her time except worry, worry, and worry. And work out. She could never not work out. But that didn't mean she wasn't worrying the whole time.

The news had come the next morning. Wario would survive, though he needed a few days of bed rest. He was going to be okay. All of the smashers were relieved to hear it and went back to living life normally.

Despite this, she did not venture near the infirmary. Not once. When other smashers turned their conversations to the topic of Wario, she found herself briskly walking away. It was a miserable three days and she spent it in solitude. Her friends approached her once or twice, looking as though they had something to say, but she was out of there before a single word could be spoken.

One morning, she was sulking in her room, wrestling with the idea of going to see Wario. I want to see him so badly…but at the same time, I don't think I could bear it. Why do I feel like this? Her heart clenched painfully.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door.

"Wii Fit Trainer? Are you in there?"

Wii Fit Trainer stiffened up, hardly daring to breath. It was Peach.

"Oh come on, she's definitely in there. Where else could she be?" Jigglypuff's high-pitched voice followed. "She wasn't in the gym or the cafeteria!"

"Let's not bother her," Zelda's voice said, so quiet that Wii Fit Trainer strained to hear her.

There was a long pause. Then—

"Villager, break down the door," Peach said briskly.

"What!" Both Zelda and Wii Fit Trainer cried at the same time.

The fitness trainer struggled out of bed and made a mad dash for the door, but she was one second too slow. The sound of splintering wood pierced the air. An axe blade came thrusting through a hole in the door. Wii Fit Trainer just gaped in shock. A few more hacks and the hole in the door grew bigger. Then the axe was withdrawn.

An adorable dimpled smile appeared in the hole. "Here's Johnny!" the Villager chirped. Then she reached an arm in and blindly groped for the doorknob.

"I've got it," Wii Fit Trainer mumbled, and let them in.

In the doorway was what looked like a big cloud of pink. Princess Peach, Zelda, Jigglypuff, and the Villager had all come by to visit. Their eyes shone with delight at seeing their long-absent friend. All except for Zelda, who couldn't wipe the guilty grimace off her face.

"Sorry about the door." She winced.

Wii Fit Trainer felt like someone had stabbed her in the chest. The memory of Wario breaking down the door replayed in her mind. Would he ever be able to break down doors ever again?

Peach fixed Wii Fit Trainer in her stern gaze, snapping the fitness trainer out of her thoughts. The princess's eyes were like blue steel. "Just what are you doing here, young lady?"

Wii Fit Trainer goggled at her friend. "Um…this is my room." Young lady?! Who is she, my mother?

Princess Peach shook her head. "Unacceptable. You should be down in the infirmary with your man."

Wii Fit Trainer's eyes widened even further. "My MAN?!" she sputtered. She looked to the others for some explanation.

Zelda just nodded while Jigglypuff struggled to hide a smirk. The Villager had grown distracted, pulling out her net to go hunting for cockroaches.

Wii Fit Trainer blinked, looking back at Peach for some explanation. "I thought…I thought you—"

"I was wrong, dear," Peach sighed. "I have no right to judge you for who you love. After all, we only have one life to live…we should be with those who make us happy." She laced her hands together, smiling, eyes warm. "Now go to him."

Wii Fit Trainer hesitated. "But…I'm scared," she blurted out.

"Sometimes you've just got to take a chance and go for it," Zelda murmured.

"Go to him!" Jigglypuff squeaked, punching the air with her little fist.

"CAUGHT ONE!" Villager bellowed.

Wii Fit Trainer felt her soul flood with joy. She could feel her friends' encouragement flowing through her veins. They were right. She should do what made her happy. And staying here, avoiding Wario…it made her miserable.

"I'm going," she declared, unable to keep from beaming.

Her female friends cheered and clapped as she pushed past them and took off running down the hall. They shouted encouragements until she was out of sight. Then they fell silent.

Jigglypuff reached into her nonexistent pocket and pulled out a book. "Good thing we consulted this book of motivational quotes before coming!" she trilled. "Peach, you're a genius!"

Peach just smiled, twirling a piece of blonde hair around her finger. "I know."

"Well…at least it worked," Zelda said. "I'm happy for her."

"Mhm. And now that we're done with her, our next project is you!" Peach declared, rounding on her best friend.

"Nope! Nope! I'm out!" Zelda said, turning into Shiek and blazing down the hallway at the speed of light.

"Oh no you're not! Get back here!"


As Wii Fit Trainer jogged up to the doors of the infirmary, all of her resolve vanished. The high her friends had granted her was gone. In its place, guilt crashed down like a wave. Inside, she almost couldn't bear to look at Wario.

He was pale and gaunt. Days without food had taken its toll on his glorious fat reserves. His mustache drooped with ill health. Tubes stuck out of his arms and nose, pumping to keep him alive. His heart struggled on the precipice between life and death.

Well, in her mind. In reality, he looked exactly the same.

"Hey toots!" he called, as she walked through the door. "What's shakin'?"

Wii Fit Trainer halted upon seeing him, frozen. For a long time, she just looked at him. He was alive. It looked as if nothing had ever happened. He was still himself. Wario.

Tears bloomed in the corners of her eyes and her lower lip trembled.

"What? Disappointed I'm not dead?" Wario scowled.

"Of course not!" Wii Fit Trainer cried out, throwing herself at him. She attempted to wrap him in a hug, though she could barely get her arms around him. "I'm so glad you're okay!"

Wario farted loudly. "Course I'm okay. That crap happens every week."

Wii Fit Trainer pulled away, looking at Wario with shock. "You have a heart attack every week?!"

"Course not! That just happens after I eat too much and engage in vigorous exercise. I call it a food coma."

Wii Fit Trainer just stared.

"I told you exercise is bad for you!"

"Wario…" Wii Fit Trainer said, feeling a new wave of grief wash over her. She lowered her gaze. A card in a nearby trashcan caught her eye. Get well soon. From Waluigi. She sighed. "I just…don't know what to do about you…"

Wario arched an eyebrow. "You're supposed to do somethin' about me?"

"I don't know!" Wii Fit Trainer burst out. "I can't figure this one out! What's the moral of the story here? I tell myself that I love you and shouldn't try to change you, but then this happens. If I don't try and push my values on you, does that mean I'm condemning you to die of poor health?! I just don't know!"

Throughout the entire confession, Wario wore a look of shock. When it was over, he discreetly stuck a finger in his nose and picked thoughtfully. "Waaa…" he muttered under his breath.

Wii Fit Trainer stood up. "I should go." She turned and walked towards the door. Just as she put her hand on the knob, Wario spoke up.

"It's not your problem, you know."

Wii Fit Trainer glanced over her shoulder. "Huh?"

"It's not your problem. It's my life. It's my problem, if you can call it that. I don't!" Wario grinned triumphantly. "You worry about you. I worry about me…and Waluigi, cause that guy can't take care of himself worth a—"

"It's not that simple!" Wii Fit Trainer tried to argue.

"Hey! You wanted a moral to this crap and I gave you one! Now get over here and pucker up, sweetcheeks!"

Wii Fit Trainer blushed furiously. "Huh?"

"Just kidding, just kidding. Anyways, ah…you want to go to Mount Wario?"

Wii Fit Trainer's blush deepened. "Wh-what?" Do I want to…?!

"Mount Wario." Wario said, pointing to himself.

Wii Fit Trainer's mouth hung open. It took her ten seconds to remember how to form words properly. "Uh, I-I don't think I'm ready for that step in our relationship—"

"No, genius! Mount Wario is a resort in the mountains!"

"Oh!" Wii Fit Trainer couldn't have felt more embarrassed. If a hole had opened up in the ground in that moment, she would have gladly crawled into it. "You're inviting me on a trip?"

"Yeah," Wario grunted. "Mountain air is supposed to be good for you or something. Besides, I could use a break from this dump. Wanna go?"

Wii Fit Trainer could feel her heart glowing. It was tentative, but it was there. Did this mean Wario was going to start trying for her? It wasn't much, but maybe it was the beginning of something beautiful.

She smiled at Wario, taking in every inch of his glory, every pound. And there were a lot of pounds.

A few days ago, she could barely acknowledge her feelings for him. So much had changed in such little time. And no matter what others thought of her, no matter what the future held, she couldn't be any happier about it.

"I would love to." She smiled.

Wario smiled back—"Waanderful."—and let one rip.

~The End~