A/N: Ack! It won't let me upload the next chapter! So, I'm just editing another doc I had already uploaded and replacing it with this one…
Also, I'm sorry this took so long. There was Easter… then I got sick… then it wouldn't let me upload... but here it is!
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Chapter three: A jiggly situation/Who?
Thor's ship
"I do, however, require your assistance."
"Of course you do…" Jack said. "SO, what is it this time? It's not a bug problem, is it? 'Cause I don't know if…"
"This time, it is not the Replicators, O'Neill. I have transported you to my ship in hope that you could assist me with another problem. There seems to be a gelatin-like substance appearing in our machinery, causing problems. How it is appearing is not apparent, however, we have observed it bares a close resemblance to what you Humans call… Jell-O."
"…..."
"We thought, perhaps, you may know how to resolve this problem."
"Uh… Thor… buddy… did you say you have Jell-O in your machines?"
"That is correct."
"This night just keeps getting weirder…"
"What flavor is it?" asked Sam.
"Is that really important, Carter? 'Cause, if it is, don't let me get in your way or anything…"
"Sorry, Sir… just curious."
Maybourne snorted in frustration. "You beamed us all the way up here just because you made a mess? So, what, you want us to clean up after you?! Why don't you just EAT IT?!"
Thor pondered this a while, then declared, "Our physiology would not accept the substance into our systems. Perhaps yourself and SG-1 can… 'just eat it'?"
Jack muttered, "Oh, fer cryin' out loud… Carter?" he finished out loud. He didn't know what to do.
"Well… as strange as it seems… we could just eat it, Sir."
"But, we still have no explanation as to how it got here." Daniel cut in.
"True." Sam replied. After thinking for a few seconds, she said, "Thor, have you or the other Asgard been conducting any sort of experiments lately? Anything that might explain this?"
"Wait," Daniel interrupted, "I have another question. Why couldn't you just transport the Jell-O off the ship?"
"The gelatin seems to have been carefully and deliberately placed in a location that the transporters cannot reach." came Thor's reply.
"But, that implies a saboteur." said Sam.
"Indeed." Teal'c said seriously.
"Great!" Maybourne said sarcastically. "So, you're saying that someone intentionally put Jell-O in your machinery? To what? Clog it? That's one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard!" With that, he stomped off angrily.
"Maybourne, get your ass back in here!" Jack yelled. There was no response. "MAYBOURNE!!" Still nothing. "Oh, for CRYIN' OUT LOUD! I'm going after him! Carter, you and Daniel try to help Thor figure this out. T, you're with me."
"Yes, Sir."
"K."
Teal'c just bowed his head.
And they were off.
ooo ooo ooo
As Jack and Teal'c walked down the quiet corridors, Jack's mind started drifting…
How'd I get into this mess…? Why'd both Maybourne and Thor pick the same night to bother me?! And then he had to go and run off like this… Arg, when I get my hands on that little weasel… And what's with the Jell-O? Some sort of Asgard prank? Nah, they're not the prank type… Someone doesn't want me to rela-
"Oof!"
"Oof!"
"I believe we have located Colonel Maybourne, O'Neill."
"THANKS… Teal'c… I can see that."
"Jack! You'll never believe what I found!"
"I don't have time to hear what you've found, I'm too busy kickin' y-"
"But, Jack! Look!" Maybourne held out a small device.
"Yeah, and what the hell is it?"
"It's a sonic screwdriver!!" Maybourne was very excited.
"A sonic what?" Jack asked, exasperatedly.
"Ah! You've found it! Fantastic!"
The two colonels and the Jaffa jumped. Well… Teal'c didn't jump… but he looked a bit startled.
The threesome gawked at the new arrival. He was about Daniel's height with slightly messy, short brown hair and sideburns and was very thin. He was wearing a thin, brown, striped suit and was looking excitedly at the little device.
"Thank you so much, I've been looking everywhere for it!" the strange man said with a slightly Scottish, mostly British accent. He held out his hand and introduced himself (surely you all know WHO he is…), "Hello! I'm the Doctor. Good to meet you. May I have my screwdriver?"
Jack was the first to snap out of it. "Uh, sure, I guess… Harry, give him his screwdriver." Then, taking the Doctor's hand and shaking it, he said, "Colonel Jack O'Neill, U.S.A.F. This is Colonel Harry Maybourne… and Teal'c."
Shaking each of their hands in turn and taking the screwdriver that Harry (still dumbfounded) handed him, the Doctor said, "So… you're Human? Well, except for you, of course." he nodded toward Teal'c. "But, what are Humans doing on an alien ship at this time? I was certain this was somewhere around the turn of the century… maybe the wrong century?"
"Ah," Maybourne spoke up, "Actually you probably got the right century… see, we found an alien device that creates artificial wormholes we call the Stargate in Giza over half a century ago… since then we-"
"Maybourne!" Jack cut him off, "That's classified! What the hell do you think you're doing? You should know better!"
"Jack, you have no idea who this is, do you?"
"Yes, I do… he said he was 'the Doctor'…"
"Doctor Who!" exclaimed Maybourne.
"Yeah, I was kinda wondering that myself…"
"No, I mean the TV show Doctor Who!"
"What?" asked Jack.
"What?" asked the Doctor.
"Doctor!" A young girl about twenty with blonde hair was hurrying towards them.
"Ah! Rose, I'd like you to meet…"
"Doctor, I'm sorry, but you said if we wanted to see the birth of the Glorfinian Empire we'd need to be there at precisely the right time!"
"Dear me… I forgot. Well, it was lovely meeting you three, and thank you for finding my screwdriver, but Rose and I really must be off! Goodbye!" With that, the Doctor headed down the corridor.
"Bye!" Rose smiled and waved, then followed the Doctor.
"Well… that was… odd…" said Jack. Then, he had an idea. "Wait! You wouldn't happen to know who put Jell-O in the Asgard's ship, do you?" he called after them.
"No…" the Doctor yelled back, "I was wondering why the TARDIS landed in jelly…"
"You mean, 'Jell-O'!"
"No, I meant jelly!"
"Jell-O!"
"Jelly!" The Doctor sighed, "I'd really love to stay and chat, but we're going to miss a very momentous occasion! Bye!" He turned a corner. After a few seconds, Jack, Teal'c, and Maybourne heard a strange pulsing sound that slowly faded away.
"Very odd…" finished Jack.
"Colonel!"
"Jack!"
Daniel and Sam were making their way towards them.
"Good," Jack said, "maybe you're here to explain something?" Jack said, getting annoyed (like he always does when things get too complicated for him).
"Yes, Sir." Sam smiled. "It turns out that the rogue faction of the N.I.D. are responsible. I'm not sure how, but they have a small ship and were using it to conduct experiments on a nearby nebula. Apparently, the Asgard noticed something strange about the nebula and decided to investigate, bringing some of the nebulous gas aboard their ship. Unknown to the Asgard, the gas leaked out of it's containment vessel and got into the machinery. I have no idea how, but the N.I.D. agents must've programmed the molecular structure of the gas to transform into a gelatin-like substance after being in contact with oxygen."
"……"
"……"
"……"
"What?" Daniel was the only one to (somewhat) understand what she had just said. "Why would they do that?"
"… yeah… what Daniel said." Jack said.
"I have no idea."
"… and uh… how'd you figure all that, Carter? Isn't it all a bit… wacky?"
Before Sam could answer, they heard Thor's voice over the com, "We are under attack. SG-1 and Colonel Maybourne please join me on the bridge."
"What now…" Jack grumbled.
They headed towards the bridge, but before they had gotten very far, there was a loud crash that shook the ship, knocking them to the floor.
Jack stood up, a little disoriented and looked around to check on his team.
They were gone.
To be continued…
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A/N: I'd like to thank everyone for the reviews! I'm really glad you like it!
Oh, I have a question… when a fic is goofy and unrealistic is it always called a crack-fic? Just wondering out loud… sorta.
Disclaimer: Doctor Who and all related material belongs to… the B.B.C., I think…
