The door creaks softly on its hinge and Owen swivels towards it catching Maggie Pierce's gaze across the floor. Amelia doesn't so much as flinch and he wants to tell the other women to leave, every instinct in his body firing to protect the doctor beside him but he can't. No matter what he's feeling he's still in charge of the hospital and he folds his arms breathing out a sigh. "Is it urgent?"
The file in her hand drops slightly as she glances at the pair. She feels for the young neurosurgeon she really does but they're all exhausted and trying to ward off questions being thrown from every direction. She's doing as much as she can to field off the buzz but she's a doctor not a media relations officer and in truth she's probably already made things worse.
"I, ah..." she hesitates, her gaze falling back to Derek Shepherds sister. The women hasn't moved, not a muscle and she swallows roughly as she shoves the file completely behind her back. "You know what, if you're busy it can wait...for a bit."
He gets the sense that's her way of saying it is important without actually saying the words. He appreciates it though because if it really was urgent she wouldn't be trying to sail her way through with pleasantries. "Just... give me five minutes." He echoes Amelia's words from earlier knowing full well he can't validate them. He'll stay as long as he can -work permitting- and as long as it takes. If that means they're here all night then so be it.
He does feel a pang of regret when the Doctor retreats and reappears five minutes later in the viewing gallery, sitting down and laying her folder neatly over her lap. He could tell her it's not worth waiting around, he's pretty sure the intercom is still latched on from earlier but the last thing he wants to do is add guilt to the list of Amelia's problems. She'll get the message sooner or later and he swivels back to the doctor beside him, his gaze running over her just to make certain she's still okay.
Her eyes are open and she's breathing which is enough for him. It has to be and he silently adjust his own pattern, taking air in with the slight rise and fall of her chest. She almost looks like she's starting to relax and after a few moments her fingers ease their grip against the table. He doesn't dare comment just stays watching her, letting the minutes tick by until she relents and rolls her shoulders clicking her back. It isn't much but it's movement and he opens his mouth to try and find the right words when he's interrupted by Karev's voice booming through the intercom.
"Oh yeah nice one, hide up here why don't you?"
Owen shoots a glare up to the window but Alex isn't even looking at him. He's too busy admonishing Pierce and although he knows he really ought to get them out he holds onto the momentary bustle of noise watching Amelia's reaction. She isn't giving any indication she wants them to leave which means she's either still too wrapped up in her head to notice or she's starting to come round to the idea of engaging people.
He's really hoping it's the latter.
"What are you doing up here anyway?" Alex is quick to reassess the situation as he gaze lands on the room below. Clearly he's walked into something he shouldn't have and he quickly backs up trying to figure out what's going on and why Pierce has a front and center view. "Wait, isn't this a little weird... you just sitting here?"
"No." She tilts her head wondering if he's right. It wasn't weird when she was supposed to be waiting for five minutes but now ten is rolling around she is starting to feel a little uncomfortable. "I'm waiting for Doctor Hunt-" she catches his skeptical look and narrows her eyes, "he said he was only going to be a few minutes."
"Right." He resists the urge to snort but rather than leave he kicks his feet up, landing on the bench with a muffled thud. When Pierce throws him a confused look he just folds his arms with a shake of his head, "well if you think I'm going back down there without you, maybe you should get Shepherd to work on your brain."
The comment drifts down to the O.R. and Amelia fights the urge to burst out crying at the joke. They all still trust her. Of course they do, she made it through the procedure without making a single mistake... but that doesn't mean she's worthy of their praise. She couldn't do it. Her fault or not she had failed to save Nicole's life and she was going to have to live with that, every hour of every day.
"Amelia?"
She catches the note of concern in Owen's voice and realises she's breathing too loudly. One breath after the other pushing out, making the room sway slightly and it takes her a few minutes to steady herself. She's still in control, still holding on and when the door to the operating room swings open she's the first to glance up catching Edwards gaze.
Neither of them say a word but a silent understanding passes between them. They both did everything right but that doesn't mean a damn thing. They're probably the only two people in the hospital who can grasp that concept and it helps. It's why, when the younger women appears beside her and nudges the stool, she obliges.
Her legs shake unsteadily as she sits and she can see Owen tense, ready to move in case she falls... but she doesn't.
She sets her hand back on the operating table, a little closer to him so that her fingers brush where his arm is resting. She's between two of the people she trusts most and when Stephanie lowers herself to the ground, folding her legs and leaning back against the side of the table for the first time she realizes something.
Not just that she can get through this, but that she's going to.
