DISCLAIMERS: We do not own Konomi Takeshi; otherwise, we would have made him suffer for giving us cliffhangers throughout the manga… x[ --Silent

WARNING: If you are not fond of long ramblings of swears, randomness, and vein pops with beads of sweat, please do not read. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! XD --Silent

Oh, and this was written by BOTH of us this time. Yay!!! Transfer

Say Yurts!

Chapter Three: Day One - The Ancient Bomb
Written by Silent and Transfer of Drowning Insanity


:: Oshitari's POV ::

Sakaki-sensei was absent from school for three days straight, so Atobe made our tennis practice harder than ever. I did not mind, for I could use this time to improve my tennis techniques. But not everyone was happy with Atobe's sudden harshness toward club members, especially us regulars. And what's going to happen on the first day of Sakaki's absence, I do NOT want to know…


:: Normal POV ::

"First years, practice swinging your rackets! Second years, run fifty laps around the school! Third years do one hundred sit ups, push ups, and crunches! Regulars are to do the following training menu that will be announced shortly!" yelled Atobe from the middle of the tennis courts, and all members did as they were told, slightly groaning.

"What are we going to do now?" Muhaki asked Oshitari in a low voice.

"Something even worse than the others," Oshitari replied as he pushed his glasses upwards.

"Regulars!" called Atobe, with Kabaji following. "This is what I want you to do!" Everyone circled around their captain.

"Ore-sama has set up a special training course today in the gym…"

"More like Kabaji did," muttered Muhaki under his breath.

"…and Ore-sama would like all of you to go there right now, where you will play tennis matches."

"Atobe, are you stupid? We can play out here," pointed out Shishido as he crossed his arms.

"Ore-sama has set up something special," Atobe replied, waving a hand. "Follow me."

"He makes us sound like dogs or something…" muttered Muhaki under his breath, and Oshitari gave him a nudge in annoyance.

"OW! What was that for, Yuushi?"

But Oshitari pushed his glasses up his nose, pretending to have done nothing.

(horizontal line)

:: In the Gym ::

"There's only one tennis court here!" said Gakuto as he pointed to the court.

"DUH," said everyone unanimously, rolling their eyes.

Atobe cleared his throat again and began with the instructions, "Ore-sama will group you into pairs so that you play against one another. Gakuto and Shishido, you two go first." He gestured the two of them to the court.

"Kabaji," said Atobe as he snapped his fingers.

"Usu," said Kabaji, and he flipped on a complicated number of switches. A motion stirred from the sides and tops, and soon a fierce wind was blowing in all directions.

"OMFG, WHY IS IT SO WINDY?!" yelled Gakuto as he cupped his hands, but no one heard him.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!" yelled back most of the regulars as they inched closer to hear the acrobatic.

"I SAID, WHY IS IT SO WINDY?!"

"NEVER MIND, ORE-SAMA WANTS YOU TO PLAY TENNIS NOW!" commanded Atobe through the megaphone, while Kabaji was holding down Atobe from blowing away in the winds. They were on the balcony of the gym.

"HOW CAN YOU PLAY TENNIS LIKE THIS, ATOBE?!" complained Shishido.

"JUST PLAY!" screamed all the regulars, quite excited to see what would happen.

"FINE!" grumbled Shishido as he prepared to serve. But the ball was lost in the wind before it made contact with the racket and flew to the other side of the court.

"FAULT!" cried Atobe, "YOU NEED TO HIT THE BALL!"

"I'M NOT STUPID, ATOBE!" screamed Shishido as he got out another tennis ball, and this time, managed to hit the ball to the other court WITH the racket.

Muhaki made his move to return it by showing off. He leapt into the air only to be blown away by the wind.

"GAHHHH! I'M BEING BLOWN AWAY!"

"THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR BEING EXTRA LIGHT!" yelled Shishido, cupping his hands together.

"SHUT UP, SHISHIDO!"

Gakuto landed on the gym floor as flat as a pancake. And the tennis ball bounced on his nose in midair. How sad.

But the tennis ball flew towards the other regulars. Because of the fan. And it JUST had to hit Choutaro.

And Choutaro fainted unconscious and hit the electric box, which turned off all the lights and equipment set up.

Everything was now black and dark.

"OH MY GOD WHO TURNED OUT THE LIGHTS?!" yelled Gakuto in the darkness.

"COOL IT'S DARK IN HERE!" shrieked Jiroh with happiness and glee, but Hiyoshi elbowed his head, having him falling asleep again.

ANYWAYS…

"Choutaro did," said someone, but no one knew that voice.

"OH MY GOSH WHO SAID THAT?!" yelled all the regulars in fear, running around like maniacs in the middle of the court.

"I did…" murmured a voice, and emerging from the darkness was a flashlight floating in midair.

"OH NO IT'S A GHOST!" yelled the acrobatic player as he leaped in the darkness, falling on something…soft?!

"Oi! Stop touching me you pervert!" screamed Shishido with fury.

"I'm not touching you! You're touching me!" shouted Gakuto in his ear.

"EW! STOP BREATHING IN MY EAR!"

"WELL HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO TALK IF I CAN'T EVEN BREATHE?!"

"THEN DON'T BREATHE AND DON'T TALK!"

"THAT'S JUST SHIT!"

"Who was that player's name? Oh yeah, it was Muhaki Gakuto of Hyoutei, that really good acrobatics player. And the person he's touching I think is Shishido Ryou. But it's really weird how a guy touches a guy, especially in the wrong spot. But then again, it's not forbidden, since the law…"

"Seriously, who the hell is that?" questioned Hiyoshi.

"I think it is Shinji Ibu of Fudomine," answered Oshitari as he pushed up his glasses.

"Where the hell did he come from?" asked Gakuto as he leapt of Shishido, who was breathing of relief.

"Dunno. Let's shoo him away."

"…"

Just then, Choutaro woke up from his fainting. "Where am I?"

"Choutaro!" worriedly cried Shishido as he ran in the middle of nowhere, "Where are you?"

"Huh? Who's Choutaro?"

"OH MEE GEE I JUST LEARNED A NEW WORD!" screamed Jiroh in the darkness, waking up from his nap.

"…that doesn't answer my question, Jiroh."

"SHI-KUN IS MEAN!"

Shishido sighed in exasperation, "Fine. What was the new word you learned?"

"BUGEEBAH!"

"…"

"WOAH JIROH! THAT'S A COOL WORD!" exclaimed Gakuto with enthusiasm.

"…Gakuto, you sure you didn't your head on anything?" ensured Oshitari.

"Yuushi? That you? Nope, didn't hit anything. OH MY GOSHIES MY NOSE IS BLEEDING!"

"…yes you did."

"TISSUES! GIVE ME TISSUES!" cried Gakuto as he jumped around, doing flips back and forth. He felt around the air until he felt someone soft.

"I FOUND TISSUES!" he yelled in victory, and he began rubbing his nose on the soft fabric.

"GET AWAY FROM ORE-SAMA YOU FIEND!" screamed Atobe in despair. "KABAJI, TAKE THIS IMP AWAY FROM ORE-SAMA! NOW!"

"Usu." Kabaji proceeded to remove the person rubbing his nose on Ore-sama's best washed, dried, cleaned, and ironed tennis shorts. But he fell off the balcony and landed on the gym floor.

Ouch.

"My nose! Feels so much better!"

"GET AWAY FROM ORE-SAMA! ORE-SAMA DOES NOT NEED TO BE PREGNANT! GET AWAY FROM ORE-SAMA!"

Shishido somehow managed to find the light switch and flipped it on. "Dude, what the hell was that about?"

Oshitari just shook his head. "Atobe, men can't get pregnant."

"YOU FIEND! YOU LIAR!! ORE-SAMA DOES NOT, SHOULD NOT, AND WILL NOT GET PREGNANT!" Atobe looked around. "WHAT HAPPENED TO ORE-SAMA'S FAN?!"

"Gakuto broke it when he fell off the balcony."

"HOW DARE HE FALL AND BREAK ORE-SAMA'S FAN! HE SHALL PAY!"

Choutarou just kept on looking around in confusion. "Um, can anyone tell me where I am? I think I got lost."

"Hm, so he's gotten amnesia. Which is perfectly fine, because that means we can win against them, since they've lost one player. But that's just mean, because we shouldn't count on someone getting amnesia to win. Maybe I should take him to the doctor, but then it's too far away and the gym's locked. Then that means-" Shinji was cut off abruptly by Shishido.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE GYM'S LOCKED?!"

"Ore-sama locked the gym using Jirou's special supply of super glue!" Atobe smiled in triumph.

"YOU IDIOT, HOW THE HELL ARE WE SUPPOSED TO GET OUT NOW?!" Shishido screamed in frustration.

"Ore-sama will call the monkies from Africa to help us!"

Gakuto turned around and rolled his eyes. "And how are you going to do that?"

"Ore-sama does not know at this point."

"YOU IDIOT!!"

"ORE-SAMA IS NOT AN IDIOT, YOU NOSE-BLEEDING DEMON!"

"HOW AM I A DEMON?!"

"YOU JUST ARE!"

"YOU'RE A SODIUM CHLORIDE GONE WRONG WITHOUT ANY SLEEP!!!"

"ORE-SAMA IS NOT!"

"Um, really. Where am I?" Choutaro asked again.

Shishido smacked his forehead. "Great. Now our coach is out for three days because of his fake teeth, Choutaro has amnesia, and we're LOCKED IN THE FREAKING GYM BECAUSE SOMEBODY JUST HAD TO GLUE THE DOORS SHUT!"

"Ii data," Yanagi said, having a total Inui moment.

Oshitari sighed. "What is he doing here?"

"Ore-sama had him get locked in with us!" Atobe crowed proudly.

Shishido pointed a finger at Atobe. "YOU SHUT UP!"

Gakuto gasped dramatically. "He just pointed THE finger at Atobe!! THE FINGER!! Ladies and gentlemen, we are waiting to see what happens next!!! I'm sure the audience is at the edge of their seats waiting impatiently to see what this all means!"

Jirou cut Gakuto off. "SUGEE!! WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT?!"

"Why do we always get into situations like these?" Oshitari asked himself.

"THE FINGER, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!! THE FINGER!!!!" Gakuto was still yelling.

"I thought this was tennis practice," Shishido grumbled.

"It was, until Atobe had the ridiculous idea to use fan," Oshitari replied.

"Ugh."

Just then Sakaki SOMEHOW found a brilliant way to get all the super glue off the doors, and came stomping into the room...with the dentist and the equipment right behind him.

"YOU!" He pointed a finger at Atobe.

"OMFG!" Gakuto was spazzing again. "HE POINTED THE FINGER AT HIM TOO!!!"

Sakaki frowned at Gakuto and returned his attention back to Atobe. "I do not know why you decided to make this mess, but I have to inform you that you will be practicing with Seigaku from now on."

Atobe gasped. "WHY IS ORE-SAMA BEING DEMOTED?!"

"Now, Atobe, you're not-"

"ORE-SAMA CANNOT LIVE WITH THIS! KABAJI!"

"Usu." With one fluid motion Kabaji turned the fans back on.

"AHHHH!" Gakuto screamed. "I'M FLYING!!"

"YOUR FAULT FOR BEING SO ANOREXIC!" Shishido yelled.

"WHAT?!"

"UGH. NEVER MIND! ATOBE, TURN OFF THE FANS!"

"ORE-SAMA SHALL NOT, WILL NOT, AND CAN NOT!"

"WELL WHY CAN'T YOU?!"

"THE SWITCH IS STUCK!"

"..."

Suddenly there came a loud rumbling. Next thing Oshitari knew, the whole gym was flooded with water. Knee deep.

With the fan blowing as well, it looked like the water was having...tides.

"WHAT HAPPENED?!" Shishido yelled out.

Atobe smirked. "Ore-sama had the fans filled with a water bomb!"

"So you're saying you had water bombs planted all around here.

Atobe nodded.

"And what were we supposed to do? ESPECIALLY since we were LOCKED in the GYM?!"

"It was part of Ore-sama's training!"

"...Great. Swimming and tennis at the same time."

Atobe just nodded.

Gakuto made a face. "Next thing we know, he's probably going to order us to go roller blading and play tennis at the same time."

"Don't give him ideas."

"Right..."

Atobe sighed. "I must warn you that the bombs were three years old."

Shishido gave him a strange look. "What were you doing with three year old bombs?"

"Ore-sama got them for elementary school graduation!"

Sakaki just shook his head. "All of you. Meet at Seigaku tomorrow."

"..."

And yes. What a lovely day in Hyoutei. Without their coach, they're simply useless.

Is Seigaku really going to help?


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