Letters to Moirae

by Midnightdragoness


"And even as I was nothing, I began to take their pieces to make something. Perhaps they began to steal my nothingness too."
Curry, sage, and oregano wafered through the heated air along with lingering undertones of egg and soy. The small space was leisurely busy and enjoyable. Groups of people sat together and laughed easily over their steaming bowls. Bright banners proclaimed great deals at every corner as the smiling cook carefully taught her younger son how to properly create the dish. Before even trying the food, he already decided that this was his favorite restaurant.

"You didn't have to do this Koharu-sama," Arashi said with a soft smile, cornflower eyes taking in the upbeat little eatery.

The dark-eyed kunoichi waved it away easily. She beamed at the subtle joy on his brow. "Don't worry about it. Besides, I want to know how your first day with Jiraiya went."

Surprisingly, a frown crossed his visage until the young boy walked toward them.

"Your ramen," He sat them two bowels of the enticing dish down.

Koharu nodded appreciatively while her companion gave him a warm smile. "Thank you."

The child blushed at the praise and scurried back to his mother, who chuckled and winked at them in thanks.

As the blond murmured thanks for the food and picked up the chopsticks, she questioned further.

"What happened?"

The gennin considered making up something so the woman wouldn't be so concerned. However, his honor was too strong. He looked up, catching the worried furrow of her brow and felt the twist of guilt in his stomach.

"It was good, I suppose. I am thankful that the Hokage would allow me this chance."

"But?" There was a reason she was called on to do interrogation from time to time. Her sharp eyes missed nothing.

Arashi put down his utensils and his brow wrinkled. "It... It just wasn't how I pictured it."

The woman chuckled. "No, I suppose Jiraiya was a bit of a shock for you. He hasn't changed much from that bushy-haired gennin."

The boy couldn't help but smile at her off-handed comment. "You knew him as a child?

Koharu chewed on a noodle thoughtfully. "Unfortunately. Between the three of them, that kid probably gave Sarutobi the most gray hairs."

He smiled, eating more of the delicious dish. How long had it been since he had eaten out?

The female nin dabbed some broth from the corner of her mouth. She was one of the few kunoichi who always retained her dignity and feminine etiquette. When she wasn't sticking people with kunai, of course.

"So who else is in your cell."

The burdened look passed across his young face and he carefully evaded the true problem. "Hatake Sakumo,"

"Hm, no surprises there. That kid has some of the highest test scores we've seen in a long time." The middle-aged woman winked at him. "Pretty much ties with yours."

Looking back at his ramen modestly, he almost evaded the dangerous territory. In fact, a slice of carrot was touching his lips when the glass shattered.

"Who else?"

Swallowing the bite, Arashi took his time in gathering a response. His elder companion waited with growing apprehension.

"A... A girl."

Koharu blinked. Is he afraid of the opposite sex? I didn't think hormones came in for another year or so... Then again, ninja always did age fast. At least the ones that lived, did.

"What's her name?" She probed, putting her empty bowel aside.

Uzumaki almost choked. "I'm not... sure."

That was almost as convincing as the time when he hadn't had enough for rent and food and attempted to tell her he wasn't hungry. As his stomach growled. "You don't know your own teammate's name?"

The golden-haired gennin was obviously bothered by something. He was staring at the half-eaten bowel as if it was going to tell him the meaning of life.

"Well, she gave us a name. I just don't think any parent would call their child that."

Brown eyes softened. He always believed in the better nature of people. "Name her what?"

He finished chewing an egg before answering. "Izanami."

Had she not been a trained elite, Koharu would have probably coughed on the water she was drinking. As it was, she finished swallowing the last mouthful, and slowly placed the glass back on the table before giving the boy her undivided attention.

"Izanami, as in the legend of Izanami?"

"The same one." Arashi murmured as he finished his food and sat it carefully at the end of the booth.

"The spirit who reaps 1,000 souls... is the name fitting?" The kunoichi asked with intent in her eyes.

Blue eyes looked away. "I don't think so. She did... well she did act a little... off."

"Arashi," The woman brought him back from the dithering with her firmness.

He cleared his throat. "She did attempt to—kill me once or twice."


The second time she drew shimmering gray chakra to her fingers and tried to touch the 'too-bright' boy, Sakumo threw down his kunai and stopped their training in frustration.

"Alright that is it! Sensei, explain to that little... freak show that she cannot try and kill her own teammates!"

Arashi kept avoiding 'little red' with a nervous laugh. "How do we know that is what she is doing?"

The silver-haired gennin ran a hand through his unruly locks. "Because I watched her do the same move to a goshawk and guess what happened to it? It dropped dead!"

Jiriaya sighed again, pulling himself away from research a few feet away. He scowled at the listless child.

Stupid old man!

"Look...er... Izanami," He really shouldn't be calling her that, but when asked her name that is all the girl would reply with. "We don't kill friends. Okay kid?"

"Sensei, you shouldn't call her that." The blond reprimanded softly, unusual pity in his blue eyes for the person who had just attempted to murder him. Twice.

"What else are we supposed to call her?" The sanin demanded, exasperated and impatient to continue peeping into the women's bath-house a few feet away.

"Her name can't really be Izanami. What parent's would name their child that?" Uzumaki continued, still eying the silver-eyed being gently.

"It fits." Hatake admitted darkly, watching the female teammate with suspicion.

"Sakumo—"

"Oh shut the hell up, Arashi." The young shinobi snapped. "That thing has tried to kill you."

Amazingly, the other orphan defended the pale youth. His lips thinned and deep eyes flashed. "I'm not sure she even knows what she is doing. Something has messed with her mind."

The violet-eyed boy held back from rolling his eyes. "You utter sap—she is more than disturbed!"

"Lord Hokage said that we should help her."

"She doesn't even qualify as human! Izanami is more like a... a predator, or a sadist."

"That is not her name."

"It certainly works."

As the voices of young male ninja rose, the frog summoner sighed and turned reluctantly away from his spot in the bushes.

And just when the blond was about to get out too... stupid brats.

"Look, we have enough issues with death over there." Their teacher pointed bluntly at the silent form.

"Sensei!"

He held up his hand for silence. "You two are not allowed to fight. Now get along and go shoot shuriken or something."

Sakumo was nothing if not shrewd as he eyed his new instructor. "Aren't you supposed to be training us, Jiriaya-sensei?"

Arashi turned toward his teammate. "You shouldn't question the teacher."

The 'not-so-bright' one choose to ignore the helplessly compassionate boy. "Are you peeping in the woman's bathhouse?"

"Sakumo!" The tanned shinobi exclaimed in indignity at the question of the great, legendary...

He winked. "Want to come watch with me? The blond got out but this brunette here isn't half-bad looking."

...pervert.

All three students were silent now.

"Sensei, you shouldn't..." The golden-haired one tried weakly, red tinging his cheeks.

The fairer male rubbed his temples. "I am so screwed over."


Protect the village. Gain respect and love. That's what they tell you when you think of Hokage. It seems like everyone always leaves out the monstrous amount of paperwork that also tags along with the title.

Sarutobi sighed a little as he filled out another diplomatic engagement. This is what little kids dream of...

As his eyes wandered over a mission report; he heard a slight commotion outside his door. It sounded like muffled, angry voices.

"I am sorry, but Lord Hokage is busy now." His shinobi guard.

"Yes, but I have the utmost assurity that he can set aside his papers to speak to me." He knew that controlled, refined voice.

The doorman replied with something and apparently it wasn't what she wanted, because her voice rose a little in argument.

The Sandaime squeezed the bridge of his nose and stood up from his desk. In three quick strides he was at the door.

"I am telling you to—" The recognizable woman stopped as his robed form stood in the doorway.

The chuunin whirled around, bowing in apology. "I am sorry to disturb you but the woman was persistent."

"It is fine." He waved the concern away, eying the brunette who had caused the disruption.

"Forgive me for disturbing you, but we must talk." She stated with firm propriety.

The mid-aged shinobi nodded. "Come in,"

She followed wordlessly into the office of Konoha's leader. It was a large, rectangular room with bookshelves of research and historical documents, a fine ornate rug lying on the floor, and a circular window behind the broad, paper-laden desk at the end. A number of cushioned chairs were organized around the room which carried the smell of cherry wood and expensive tobacco. At his signal, the visitor pulled a chair from the corner to sit directly in front of the desk. The room meant to impress and comfort in its exquisite simplicity. However, she felt nothing but familiarity with the man across from her, separated only by a strip of wood.

He folded his hands. "What is troubling you Koharu?"

The woman looked at her village leader and seemed to play with her words for a moment. "It is Arashi,"

Already, dread began to fill Sarutobi. It was well-known that the respected kunoichi and orphaned blond were close. He had a feeling as to where this conversation was going.

"Is there something wrong with him?" The Third felt bad about it. He really liked the boy—astute, giving, honorable. But Konoha could not afford to offend a Feudal Lord. And that girl needed his former student as a teacher.

The jounin gave him a decipherable glare. "Izanami."

Damn. "Ah, I see you have heard of her." Sarutobi replied calmly.

"Hokage-san, you haven't brushed up on your fabricating skills yet." She smiled whimsically. "You were always too honest for such things, even as a gennin.

The dark-haired man couldn't help but chuckle softly. "No, you were simply too sharp for anyone to get away with it."

Her cocoa eyes softened. "Tell me the truth then, for old times sake."

Sarutobi looked at his old teammate and sighed again, unfolding his hands to run them once through his graying hair. "The Fire Country's Lord came with her a week ago."

Shock ran briefly through her face, but Koharu kept silent.

"He requested that Konoha take her in. He was vague about her condition, but asked that we teach her morality. He offered to pay for her stay and wanted to ensure that she became a ninja. I had to agree, and when considering the choice for teaching a child such as she for heart..."

The female shut her eyes, understanding grasping upon her. "Jiraiya. If he is nothing that boy was always heart."

The Third nodded, letting concern crinkle his eyes. "If you have already come to me, I assume that something has happened."

The kunoichi nodded, paying him back. "She has tried to kill him."

The Hokage closed his eyes briefly, resisting the urge to massage his temples. Even with the mutual comfort and ease they felt with each other, he still had to retain dignity just as she had to have formality.

"We have to keep her. I will talk to Jiraiya tomorrow about transferring Uzumaki."

Koharu sat up. "Transferring? To whom?"

"Orochimaru."

She had to resist a shudder at the name. Even as a child he was always...

"Thank you for your time, Hokage-san."

Sarutobi nodded curtly, masking his guilt as his former teammate bowed and walked herself out of the room.

Orochimaru and Izanami... Which is the greater to two evils?


By the third day, the silver-haired gennin was quite ready to break the rule about not killing teammates.

"Jiriaya-sensei," His teammate called gently to the man who had his head once again in the bushes.

Frowning, the hazel eyes pulled themselves back. "What is it kid?"

Blue eyes shifted to the ground. "It's... her."

"What about Izanami?" Jiriaya demanded with exasperation, wanting to get back to his 'research'.

Sakumo was getting tired of the boy's hesitation. "The freak 's gone."

"Sakumo..." Arashi reprimanded softly.

However, their sanin teacher ignored it as he rapidly paled. "Gone? What do you mean?"

He scoffed. "I mean little death wandered off somewhere."

The frog summoner stood up abruptly, his unruly white hair standing electrically up. "Why the hell weren't you watching her?"

Violet eyes filled with contempt. "Because that's not my job, sensei."

Choosing to ignore his student's obvious disrespect, Jiraiya scanned the immediate area for the strange child.

Well think of it this way, how much trouble could one girl cause?

He remembered the gray chakra of death and the unemotional murderer... running around streets... full of people.

"Shit!" He cursed, vanishing with a pop.

Arashi moved to help.

"Don't bother." Hatake called, picking up his shuriken again. "Let's get back to practice."

The deep eyes narrowed slightly under his crinkling brow and the gennin choose his words well. "I'm going to help. Stay if you feel it is better."

Sakumo did just that.

After another hour of targets, the rest of his team came plowing back. His cool, intelligent eyes swept over a red-faced Jiraiya, worried Arashi, and indifferent... thing.

"Sensei found her," The golden boy told him without a question. "She was trying to kill a man with that silver chakra."

The other boy nodded, watching the scene unfold with dark amusement.

"We do not kill, Izanami!" The white-haired shinobi yelled, hands shaking her frail shoulders with frustration. "What about the rule I told you?"

Silver eyes blinked. "No killing teammates. He wasn't a teammate."

The frog sanin slapped his forehead, running a hand slowly down his face until pulling it away at the lips. "Okay, brat listen up. Death is bad. Don't kill anyone unless you're on a mission, got it?"

"Why?" The red-head asked without a pitch or emotion sparkling her voice. It was a sickening innocence, her curiosity.

"Why what?" The peeping tom demanded with exasperation. It was a fairly simple request.

"Why not kill people?" She wasn't refusing to listen, only... wondering. As though such a thing had skipped over her in the human-integration process of morality.

"Because... people don't want to die." Jiraiya struggled for a sufficient answer. Sometimes knowing something makes it difficult to comprehend.

She cocked her head, perhaps still confused.

"You are stealing a life when you kill." Arashi addressed her, meeting the dullness of her gray eyes. "And a life is valuable."

The gaze intensified for a moment, though the emotion behind it unfathomable.

"Life is valuable," The pale girl repeated slowly, digesting this foreign concept.

Too-bright nodded with a warm smile. "Nothing is more precious then life."

She looked at him for another few moments, intense until Sakumo broke the moment with a snort.

"Now tell her about unicorns and fuzzy bunnies, you pathetic softy."

Despite the jab on his masculinity, Uzumaki couldn't help but feel satisfied. Especially when the days passed without seeing that silver chakra again.


"What is that?" The crimson-haired pest wandered quietly to his side as he finished gathering the fallen kunai.

Arching his eyebrows, he replied steadily. "These?" He held up the throwing knives.

She nodded, colorless eyes flickering over to the metal.

"Kunai," The gennin stated, still suspicious about her intentions.

"You throw them. What for?" Little red asked with her childish innocence and strange intensity.

"To wound or kill enemies in battle." That sounded way too much like a definition. Since when was he a walking dictionary?

"But life is valuable, so murder is bad." Poor thing, she was mixed-up as hell.

"As ninja, sometimes we have to kill people." Sakumo admitted, unsure as to why he was even bothering to explain. "We have to take one life in order to protect another one."

She could almost look human when she cocked her head like that, a thoughtful intake of the information. "But how do we choose?"

Hatake noticed the other two ninja staring at him, and his pride demanded him to stop even as he answered the last question while tossing a kunai.

"We protect our people—Konoha people against anyone who would try to hurt them."

Bullseye. He couldn't help but smirk, feeling a bit more sympathetic.

"Our people?"

"Aa," Not-too-bright agreed as he held out one of the weapons for her.

"Try?"


It was on one of those D-rank missions that new teams get assigned to build comradeship that she confronted her teacher.

The three of them were painting the outside of a bathing-house, something he had surely leaped at. Between one grumbling teammate and one careful one, she painted the white on the walls. Her silver eyes turned toward the man muttering to himself, crouched around the corner.

"Oh, look at that one... I can use you for my next edition..."

"Jiraiya," She never called him sensei and he really didn't care enough to tell her off. One step at a time.

His chuckling stopped and the bright brown eyes faced hers, paintbrush still in hand.

"Something wrong? You need to complete the mission you know." The red-striped individual reminded.

"Mission?" Sakumo grumbled, slathering the pale paint on a little too aggressively.

"I will," Izanami came close to a promise. "But what are you doing?"

"Eh? I'm researching for my book." A perverted grin made his 20-some year old face seem boyish.

He heard Hatake murmur something in the background and could only assume it was derogatory as Arashi corrected him.

"What are you researching?" Before he could reply, the female gennin had stuck her head around the corner.

Several woman in different stages of undress reached her, and if she understood the implications, she probably would have been furious.

"Oh," Apparently the girl knew enough to understand what peeping was as she didn't question that.

Thank the gods. I am not explaining that to her for at least another year.

However..."Do you think those women are pretty, Jiraiya?"

The toad summoner laughed a little at her innocence. "I do."

"You like them better than us?" Well, that was surprising.

"What?" He seemed to say that a lot in front of her dead-pan curiosity.

The kunoichi shrugged. "You like looking at them better then us. So don't you like them better than us?"

Living with Orochimaru and Tsunade should have cleared him from all guilt. Really, he had paid his dues to the world and if he choose right now to become an evil mastermind he could still avoid hell. So why was there guilt picking at his gut at her innocent, simple inquisition.

"Just because I like looking at them more doesn't mean I like them more." The white-haired shinobi replied a bit forcefully.

Turning back to the women, Izanami paused before walking away. "Okay then."

Watching her retreating back, Jiraiya felt guilt well up him again and with a sigh, he tore away from his perversions. He traced her steps back to the building they were painting.

Damn girl is too cute for her own good.

The sight that greeted them was two boys, covered in wet, white paint and glaring at each other.

"Why are you both painting yourselves?"

He chuckled.

Too cute indeed.


On another friendship-building mission, it was Sakumo who pulled away. His sensei had supervised their conduct, set them up to pull the weeds from the elderly woman's house, and watched them... until her beautiful daughter of twenty-four began changing, conventionality leaving her window open for the cool breeze to pass through and and the bright sun to stream into. Or perverted men to watch hungrily from the outside.

"I would bet that she left it open on purpose." Jiraiya looked down in surprise at the silver-haired figure at his side, focusing his gaze on the open window and naked person inside.

"Hey, you always yelled at me for peeping, you little brat!" The sanin whispered as to not get them caught.

Violet eyes rolled as if it was obvious. "That is because you always did it when we were supposed to be doing something else. I think she is pretty too, and I'm done weeding so now I can look."

His tense jaw almost dared his teacher to deny him the right to peek. Instead, he just chuckled lowly.

"And here I thought you were all work and no play."

The girl had changed her shirt and shorts into a light summer dress, oblivious to the eyes on her in the well-weathered day. Her long brown hair swept up as she moved out of the room.

The younger shinobi smirked. "That would be Mr. Uptight over there. I think he is more fit to be a nun then a ninja."

Even as the brown-eyed man laughed, he felt a slight shot of apprehension.

Sakumo was right, Arashi was almost too good to be a ninja. He was gentle, patient, giving, humble, righteousness, morale, and honest. All those traits would get a shinobi killed faster than you could say fool.

And above all, the little sap had such a... glimmer about him. A kind of light that he exuded and lent to other people. He saw a value in every life, and that line between good and evil seemed so strong for him.

But Jiraiya knew.

He remembered his first kill, and how his own halo of innocence (he was a pervert, not a killer before) diminished on that night. And how even Orochimaru was shaken and everyone had acted different. He had been quiet, and Tsunade was gentle around them, and Orochimaru was almost kind. (At least kinder)

He knew that for ninja, that line of what is right and wrong becomes smeared in blood and never comes back. Because even if that man was an enemy, even if you had to do it to protect everyone; the fact is that you are still a murderer.

The sanin looked at his students, worry creasing his brow.

Sakumo would be able to handle it. He didn't have that same strength in morality as Arashi did.

Izanami would probably be fine. She had only just discovered that life could be worth something and killing coldly was bad.

But Arashi...

The daughter came out, doe-like eyes smiling as she carried a tray of tea in her delicate hands and her short yellow dress lifted in the breeze.

"I noticed you were done. Are you all hungry?"

But maybe they could worry about that later.


They were training again, this time working on speed and evasion in the field. As it turned out that the girl was very good at hiding and Sakumo was an excellent tracker; the two boys were sneaking along looking for their final teammate.

It was an overcast day, the sun occasionally showing itself against the outline of dreary gray. Wet grass muffled their feet from the dampness, and the silence before the storm filled their training grounds as the gennin trekked through the mud. It would rain soon and the atmosphere was charged.

"Hey Sakumo," His male teammate started, murmuring so their final member would not be alerted.

"Hm," The silver-haired leader made a noise to show that he was listening even as he touched a brushed-aside leaf on the trail.

"Do you like her?" He seemed hesitant again, too polite to be forward.

Hatake turned left, walking further into the trees. "Izanami you mean? I don't... hate her, I suppose... She grows on you."

Without looking, he felt the blond nod.

"And Jiraiya? What do you think about him?"

Twilight eyes caught a broken twig, snapped from a hurried hand. He followed the subtle trail.

"He has his moments."

He already knew what the shinobi's next question would be and half-waited for it as he paused to search the ground for more clues as to the girl's whereabouts. Silence came and went in deep crests as they searched the forest on the outskirts of their training field. Hopefully, they could find her before it drenched.

"Arashi," He broke the silence first this time, standing up from his search.

Blue eyes swiveled over to him, alert and gentle. A few blond locks were plastered to tan skin from the humidity.

"Yes?"

Sakumo held his hands up to signal that he had found nothing. "I don't mind you that much either."

The other gennin laughed softly and grinned. "Thanks, I might just like you too."

The sky opened up and it began to pour, as though someone had ripped its constraints off to unleash the burden of the dry days. Within seconds, both boys were soaked.

"Shit!" Sakumo swore, glaring at the heavens as if to make them stop.

"Do you have any idea where she went?" Their moment had come and gone, though it would make the beginning of something that would not.

"No, the rain is washing away any sign of her!" The silver-haired shinobi admitted with frustration, holding a hand above his head to shield from the downpour.

"The sky is crying." A sudden voice made them both turn as a pale, wet figure stood suddenly behind them.

"You found us." Arashi said, incredulously at the irony.

Her silver eyes gradually went down from the sky to the both of them.

"Of course, you are my people."

Not understanding the words, but too saturated to question; Hatake guided his teammates out of the trees and back into the shelter of town.

"Damn it, my house is still three miles away." The purple-eyed gennin admitted with clenched teeth.

"Mine is just down the block." The blond stated before he could think over the implications. "Why don't you both stay there until the storm clears up?"

Weighing his options of an empty house far away and a close one with people, Sakumo shrugged. "Thanks."

Izanami shivered a little before nodding. Her usual tight gray top was sleeveless and allowed the water to chill deeper. Concern ran over blue eyes, but before he could think of a way to combat it; his other teammate was draping his dark coat over her tiny shoulders. They both looked up.

He gave a small smile. "Let's get inside, shall we?"

Pumping chakra to their feet, the team sprinted towards the apartment.

"Thank you." The kunoichi finally directed it to both boys.

One cool shrug and one compassionate smile said your welcome.


Yes, I know an entire chapter dedicated to characterization. Please don't kill me; the plot picks up around chapter 4, promise!

Chapter 3: He cursed, performing the familiar seals and in moments two small frogs had appeared.

"My students are missing. Find them." The summons obeyed, hopping off in different directions.

Jiraiya let out a bitter smile. And this was supposed to be an easy mission.

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