STAR TREK: DEEP SPACE NINE
To Have Loved, Lost and Won
by Mirwalker
ACT TWO
As he had for more than an hour, across nearly every deck, ring and pylon of the station, Julian Bashir narrated the visiting ensign's steps right up to where they had begun. "And that's the Habitat Ring really; we're back to the Wardoom, and it starts over again..."
"Thank you for the tour, Doctor," Magenau immediately jumped into his breathing pause. As excited as the physician seemed to be giving the tour, the Betazoid was clearly just as interested in wrapping it up. "It gave me some very useful insights, and confirmed a few impressions I had."
"It's been my pleasure, Tole—I mean, Ensign."
Standing across the threshold, Magenau pointed back into the room. "And while I do appreciate the time you've given me, I do have to go now. My first interview is scheduled to begin in a few minutes…"
"Oh, I know," agreed Bashir. "I actually took the liberty of trading appointment times with Chief O'Brien, as he had some last minute work to do on the Manchester; and, after getting in my patient rounds early, I had the morning free."
Looking at the PADD in hopes it would indicate something different, Magenau's faced dropped quickly before he could recover toward something positive. "So you did... Well, let's see how quickly we can get this over- get you back to your busy day."
Breathing in deeply as he turned, he led the still beaming data source into their next chunk of time together. Perhaps appreciating a little quiet, the two security officers shot a look at one another, and took up their positions on either side of the door.
Several sections over and decks up, Admiral Ross kept his seat across the desk, as Captain Sisko stood abruptly and paced to his office's window. The two officers had long since fallen into a pattern of speaking openly despite their difference in rank. For that rare, honest space, as well as the similar attitudes toward the war overall, both men were very grateful. That frankness and appreciation did not, however, mean they always agreed or even agreed calmly.
"Ben, I'm as frustrated by all this as you are. The Latting this morning was the fourth ship we've lost this week."
Sisko didn't turn, but did grit his teeth as he vented, "And we didn't gain a damn thing for the losses except casualty reports!"
"And especially with these losses, Starfleet Command is even less interested in more aggressive and more risky actions," the ranking officer reminded.
Anger giving way to sheer frustration, Sisko turned and asked, not entirely rhetorically, "So we just sit back and let them pick us off ship by ship, officer by officer? You don't have to be a Klingon to be unhappy with that strategy. What is Command thinking? What happens when it's not a supply convoy? When it's another planet? When it's Vulcan? Or Earth?"
Ross pointed to the computer files they'd discussed earlier in their meeting, "That's why Ensign Magenau's work is so important. Attacks on individual ships are the realm of intelligence officers, not strategic analysts; he's looking at the same bigger picture and longer term you are. And he's already provided us some promising insights…"
Sighing and retaking his seat, Sisko wished Ross' words to be true. "Well I'm hoping he has some good suggestions, too. We're in need of some bold action, not just brilliant analysis. And speaking of action," he picked up yet another report from the cluttered desk, "the Tashu'at Regatta is going to get here soon; and their Commodore seems to think that, as the Emissary, I'll have some good news for them about their returning through the wormhole. As if we don't have enough going on out here already…!"
"They've been denied permission at every level of Federation government; but their Commodore is quite persistent. I hope that your role here as a Starfleet officer is clear…"
With no time or patience for such doubts, Sisko was quick to give his own reminder. "Admiral, questions or conflicts concerning the Bajoran Prophets are one thing. Letting a potential Dominion intelligence source back into the Gamma Quadrant with my blessings is quite another. She has the right to petition under Bajoran law; I will hear her case, uphold the Council's decision, and advise that they return to a safer distance from the front. I just hope she'll listen…"
Having heard said aloud what he knew would be the case, Ross smiled, "If there's anyone who can make her listen, Ben, it's you…"
The Wardroom table was also now covered in digital tablets; and Magenau and Bashir faced one another over one cluttered end. The scattered PADDS, various drinking cups and intense faces showed they'd been huddled there for some time.
The younger face, however, showed none of the signs of fatigue his elder's did. "You're sure that's the last contact that you've had with any Dominion or Cardassian personnel?"
Taking in a deep, weary breath, Bashir nodded emphatically, desperate to ensure that this would bring an end to the interrogation. "Yes, quite. I think that we've covered that conclusively…"
The Betazoid crossed his hands in his lap and leaned forward to confide, "I pride myself on being very thorough, so as not to miss anything important. I'm sure you can understand."
Blinking his acknowledgement of the reciprocal irony, Bashir also took the opportunity to end the interview. "Of course. And speaking of my work, I really need to get back to the Infirmary; I have a number of patients to check up on."
Standing quickly and sticking out his hand to show he too felt their time together was now through, Magenau threatened an encore with a large grin. "Thank you again, Doctor, for the tour and the chat. If I think of anything else I need, I'll be certain to let you know immediately."
Smiling nervously, Bashir made his exit quickly, lest the escape be rescinded.
Magenau stretched with a satisfied soreness, and reached for his cup. Finding it empty, he realized he was also hungry, and that his schedule provided an opportunity for more than nutritional sustenance. Tapping his communicator, he tried for a more spontaneous conversation, "Magenau to Jake Sisko."
There was almost no delay in the energetic response, "This is Jake!"
Pleased at the expected eagerness, Magenau invited, "I have a meal break before my next interview and wondered if we might start on ours over lunch? Can you join me in the Wardoom? I'll have a raktajino waiting…'
With motion almost audible over the comm channel, Jake confirmed he was "On my way…"
With emptied dishes added to the busy tabletop, the occupants of its end sat closer together as Magenau stared blankly into the mid-distance, and the younger Sisko brought his story to a close. "…Nog and I got Chief Collins into an escape pod, and ejected; we were lucky. Anyway, the Defiant caught our distress call, and picked us up a day later, just like my story said." Realizing his audience of one was no longer fully present, he asked, "Yerian? Yerian, are you all right?"
Snapped back to the present by the topic shift and the concern, Magenau blinked and fumbled to re-engage. "Hmm? Yes. I'm… Sorry. You are a compelling storyteller, and your memories of the experience are very vivid… Thank you for sharing them with me, Jake. It must be difficult to re-live …" He stood quickly, grabbed plates off the table and moved to the replicator.
Clear that his fast action was less to tidy the room and more to hide the emotion that had begun to cascade across his face, Jake held the questions he had about this reaction, but pressed on the interest in the Academy training ship. "No problem, really. Though, I'm still curious, why is this is so important to you? It's got nothing to do with Dominion tactics…"
Having apparently re-composed himself, Maegnau turned back to the table, and began sorting through the stacks of files. His voice showed only professional detachment; and his answer avoided the question, mostly. "Are you presuming my interest in Dominion tactics or do you know something you're not letting on?"
"Like any good journalist, I've done some background research—just like you did on all of us," explained the writer. "There's not much available on you officially, but lots of reputation precedes you. It just makes sense that you'd be here to do research on Dominion-Cardassian stuff for the war effort. No information, just deduction and hunches."
Magenau gave no reaction to the investigative analysis or the larger hanging question.
"So, am I right?"
The ensign paused in his stacking, and looked Jake directly in the eyes. "You're very smart Jake, good instincts. But we're not discussing my mission here. You've kept your end of the deal by sharing Red Squad's story, and I'll keep mine." He moved toward the door just as its chime rang, making it clear that his guest should follow. "Right now, though, I have another interview scheduled. So you go finalize your interview questions; and I'll contact you as soon as I can."
As he waited for Jake to join him, Magenau acknowledged the now-familiar sentries, and confirmed that the waiting Vulcan was "Lt Sobul?" Receiving an affirming nod, he turned to take his formal leave of his soon-to-be-interviewer.
"How long?" asked Jake first, anxious to continue.
"I'm booked solid into tonight and through tomorrow afternoon. How about I contact you when that set is done?"
"I'll be in my quarters tomorrow afternoon, whenever you're ready."
"Until then," Magenau smiled. "And thanks again for lunch…"
As a grinning report nearly danced down the corridor, Magenau adjusted his expression and greeting to match his next interview. "Magenau dweemish. Kisadla."(1)
Despite the length of their ongoing conversation, the Commanding Office of Deep Space Nine had not decided on which of his visitor's three eyes to focus when addressing her. There had been no protocol guidance about Tashu'at vision physiology in the briefing summaries forwarded from Starfleet Command, and Jadzia Dax had simply shrugged in the background when she caught his glancing request for some guidance during introductions.
That each seemed to move constantly, as well as independently of the others did not help, as looking at one or even two, inevitably left at least one other unattended. And beyond the awkwardness he was feeling about giving appropriate eye contact, he couldn't help but wonder whether this literal, encompassing watchfulness was a factor in his government's and admiralty's concern about what these people might have seen during their time in Federation space.
But wherever he was looking, he needed to focus on accurately, if gently, delivering the message none of her eyes or other senses were likely to like. "…And, I'm afraid I'm forced to agree, Commodore. Even if we could allow you to return, we have no way of knowing how the Dominion forces on this side of the wormhole will react to your attempt to return to the Gamma Quadrant, and no guarantee of your safety from Dominion forces which surely are waiting at the other end."
All three eyes blinked—or more accurately, seemed to rotate fully—at the same time.
As that synchronization didn't happen every time one eye blinked, Sisko hadn't determined whether this simultaneous movement was their baseline behavior, or a reaction to her probable displeasure.
She clarified her thinking at least, "Benjamin Sisko, over the past months I have heard these same arguments from countless ministers and officials in numerous hearings, conferences and communiqués. And to be blunt, I am tired of hearing how concerned the Federation is for our safety."
Triple blink again; it must be a sign of frustration…
"I do not ask you to be concerned for us; and I do not expect your protection. I am responsible for my ships and people; and I am comfortable that we are in no danger from the Dominion in either Quadrant."
He laced his fingers together on the desktop, trying to occupy them rather than show his discomfort with how the exchange was going. "But your non-aggression pact with the Dominion was arranged before the War, and they may use the War as an excuse to… alter it. Unfortunately, Commodore, this War will have its effects on your people whether you're involved in it or not. At this point, that's unavoidable."
Certainly to emphasize her points, all three eyes focused on him, for the first time. "I am aware of the reality of the War, and its threat to us. I assure you, Benjamin Sisko, that we are quite capable of taking care of ourselves. Besides, we both know that this is more about the Federation's concerns for itself than for my small Regatta.
"As I have said time and time again, I am authorized and willing to enter into an agreement with your government as well. Not having aligned with either side in this war, we Tashu'at will be a neutral party, un-invested and uninterested in assisting either side. Just as we've not provided you with any information on the Dominion—another likely reason for our treatment at your hands, I would guess—we will not provide them information on you. It is an honest assurance and reasonable proposal, Benjamin Sisko."
Nodding, he answered honestly, if still diplomatically. "It is a generous offer, Commodore, and you have brought forward some points I had not considered. As required under Bajoran tradition, I will take your case under advisement, and get back to you as soon as possible?"
The Tashu'at Commodore stood without any further niceties, as two eyes returned to looking around the room. "I appreciate your hearing my petition Captain." She glanced over her shoulder as she passed out of his office, "I do hope that you have listened as well."
Having followed her quickly, Sisko could only smile blandly as two Bajoran crew escorted her to the turbolift, and back to her shuttle. Turning to his command staff, he found Kira and Dax keen for some good news beyond the body language that seemed too clear.
The Trill spoke her observation aloud, "You don't look so determined coming out of that appointment, Benjamin."
He shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose, admitting, "I'm not, though that doesn't really change the answer she's going to get from me. She is one of the most persistent and persuasive beings I have ever met; I feel like I was just interrogated. I'd hate to go against her in a debate arena…"
The Major handed him a PADD to document her report, "Well, let's hope this doesn't come to a physical fight with her Regatta either. Our passive scans aren't able to tell us much about their ships, except massive energy readings of various types. Whatever they're capable of, they're capable of a lot of it."
"And without getting someone on one of their ships, we won't know for sure?"
Kira confirmed, "Not without active scans—and there's no way to hide that."
And their Science Officer added, "And with these shield readings, there's no guarantee that the scans would be able to tell us anything anyway."
Heading up to his office, he called back to them, "Well, let me report all this to Command; and then I'm calling it an early afternoon. In the meanwhile, keep your eyes and ears open for any opportunity to learn a little more."
Stepping out from her workstation, Dax took a leave of her own. "Major, you want to take over here? I'm due for my interview with Ensign Magenau."
Tapping a few keys to transfer data to Dax's location, Kira grinned mischievously, "Well, hope you're rested up; Julian says he's exhaustive. I guess idol worship is more strenuous than he expected."
Jake Sisko could smell the Cajun spices before he even entered the quarters he shared with his father. The spread of ingredients, utensils and pots made it clear that a home cooking feast was beginning; and that usually meant only one thing…
"Hi, Dad!"
"Hey, Jake," Benjamin said, happily if wearily. "How's your day?"
"Better than yours apparently," the son said, with a slap to his father's shoulder, and quick taste of a bubbling sauce. "You don't cook like this—in mid-afternoon—for no reason." Grabbing a slice of vegetable, he headed to the couch, took a PADD out of his bag and began reviewing interview notes.
"Let's just say that it's been one of those days." Slicing up proteins certainly worked out a little stress; but it was the creative process of making family recipes that really brought the comfort. "…But nothing that a heaping plate of grandpa's secret recipe jambalaya won't fix. Hope you're hungry…"
Grinning back at the chef, Jake suggested, "You should get stressed out more often!"
"Don't you wish! What are you working on so diligently?"
Laying back and kicking his feet out to show his high life, Jake shared his pending feat, "I have been granted exclusive interview rights with the Tolesat Golav. And, I've got so much to ask…"
Knowing the look his father—the ranking Starfleet officer on the Station—would be shooting at him now, he qualified the enthusiasm with, "I know I'm balancing the public's right to know with Federation security."
Pleased he didn't have to say it himself, Captain dad approved, "I should hope so. I'll remind the ensign about those responsibilities during our interview this evening. That way, we can be sure that Federation security is covered from both sides."
The mutual understanding hung between them like the fragrant cooking spices, until Jake decided to supplement his research. "Hey, Dad, as background for my interview, what can you tell me about Yerian?"
"'Yerian'? Since we are you on a first name basis with our guest?"
"Since we met, and started talking at Quark's the other day."
The cook laughed aloud, "I should have known… wherever there's trouble, 'Scoop' Sisko will not be far behind."(2)
The curious young man shrugged and offered a plausible and honest explanation for the coincidence. "I was having a late lunch; and he sought me out. You're avoiding the question… What can you tell me?"
"Jake, first, if you're talking over meals, you obviously know him better than I do. Second, you can check the public sections of his personnel records as well as I can. And third, I'm no more able to discuss anything beyond that than he is." Still stirring, he looked up from his roux with a familiar pride in his fast-growing son. "But, security clearances aside, I'm glad to see that you're striking up a friendship. Goodness knows he could use a little social distraction from all that's expected of him…"
Jake nodded, as the offered info fit with he already knew or suspected. "He has mentioned the stress—Did you know that scans all his food before he eats it? And another odd thing," he turned to look at his dad over the sofa back. "He's really interested in the Valiant and its story; I can't figure out why…"
"Jake, Ensign Magenau was in the same Academy class as the Red Squad leaders; he probably lost some close friends on that ship."
Jumping and gathering his things, Jake headed for the door. "Of course! Why didn't I think of that!"
"Glad I could help…," Sisko chuckled after him. "Be home for dinner!"
Before the doors could close completely, Jake stuck his head back in, still excited, but with an added air of conspiracy. "Dad, why don't we invite Yerian over for dinner tonight? You're making enough for an army, and he could probably use a change from his inspected replicator fare."
Stopping in his prep, the senior Sisko looked up at his son. "I think that would be a great idea."
"Excellent. Can you make the arrangements?" Jake asked as he turned to leave again.
"Me?!," his father called after him. "What's so important right now that you can't invite your own friend?"
"Research," he explained as he paused and then pleaded. "Come on, dad!"
"All right, I'll invite him. Just make sure your research gets you back here in time…"
Their work laid out for them, both Sisko turned back to their favorite tasks with a smile and great expectations for what was to come.
Magenau placed the cups on the Wardoom table, and took his place at it. "Here's your coffee, sir; with the… 'chicory' you requested. And, thank you again for dinner, Captain. I have never had… jumbo…"
"Jambalaya," the senior officer corrected. "You're thinking of gumbo."
"Yes, of course. It's been a while since I had a home cooked meal of any kind." His face darkened briefly. "My fiancée liked to cook, but Cajun wasn't…" Seeing Sisko looking at him intently, trying to show only the slightest interest in the unexpected personal sharing, Magenau reverted quickly to business. "Let's get started, shall we?" He reached for the correct file as his interview subject settled in.
"OK. What do you need me to do?"
As he'd done with innumerable beings over the past months, Magenau explained with a friendly, but well-practiced script. "I'm going to ask you to recount your experience with Dominion and Cardassian peoples, following an abridged timeline drawn from your own and Station reports. Beyond just re-telling the factual stories, I'd like you to put yourself back in those moments to recall any general impressions and feelings you have about the experience as a whole."
"The whole truth, huh?" asked the older man with an intrigued eyebrow.
Still matter-of-factly, as he called up the information he was looking for, "More than that actually. In addition to recording the interview, I also would like your permission to witness your thoughts and emotions as you recall the specific experiences—so I can telepathically share them with you in a real sense."
Definitely more uncomfortable than when he thought he was just being asked to remember details from years past, Sisko's raised eyebrow was now skeptical. "Like a mind-meld? Is that really necessary?"
Also familiar with this reaction, the Betazoid stopped and faced him, using the focused attention to indicate his understanding of the ill ease. "No; melds are active intrusions. I won't probe or push, just passively monitor your thoughts and feelings without affecting or influencing them at all. As with every other interview, I'm hoping for any extra information, beyond the narrative and analysis of your previous reports. That's why I came here in the first place." He tried to read the Captain's poker face; unable to, he tried a little poke to the pride. "If it bothers you…"
"No," Sisko dismissed the concern nonchalantly. "I just wasn't really expecting…"
Shifting to his most non-rehearsed presentation style, the analyst provided yet another well-prepared assurance. "It's OK, Captain. Many people are uncomfortable with the idea, and even more so with the experience itself; it may feel somewhat like a long daydream or déjà vu to you. Just let me know if at any point you don't wish to continue."
They sized one another up for a moment. Sisko knew he should trust this fellow officer doing his duty; Magenau hoped he would. Both their successes might depend on it.
"All right," the Captain consented, settling into his chair a little more. "How do we begin?"
Magenau handed him the PADD he cued up. "Here are some excerpts from your reports to date. I'd like you to tell me these stories again, opening yourself up to the entire memory. I'll just be sitting here, remembering along with you."
Recognizing the reports he authored nearly two years previous, Sisko glanced up to see the ensign tap the recorder on and relax into his own chair with his eyes closed. With a slight throat clearing, he recounted, "OK. Stardate 49906.3, my first face-to-face interaction with Weyoun.(3) We had to temporarily collaborate to destroy an Iconian gateway…"
While it wasn't easy, delivering the news by commlink rather than in person was almost certainly easier. Pleasantries over, he cut to the chase, "…I'm sorry, Commodore."
On the viewscreen, the Tashu'at Commodore exhaled deeply, trained all three eyes on him and cut him off, remaining polite but clearly showing her dissatisfaction and frustration. "No, Benjamin Sisko; that is not acceptable. We have tried your Federation's process and procedures in good faith, and we have gotten nowhere. From your reputation as an officer and your unique perspective on the wormhole as the Prophets' Emissary, I had hoped that you would be more understanding and agreeable; I now see that you are not."
"Commodore, you have to understand-," he tried to soothe.
"I do, Captain," she interrupted again. "All too well. Therefore, having been unable to persuade you to allow us passage home through your slow and unresponsive method, I am forced to try another. You leave me no choice but to contact the Dominion command in this Quadrant and request their intervention on our behalf. Perhaps they will listen where you have not."
From not easy, to bad. "Commodore, that is not necessary. Involving the Dominion will only-"
"...make you pay attention and take our requests seriously," she finished a third time.
"Commodore, for all our sakes, I ask you not to make matters worse." Sisko took a breath, and lowered his hands, which had begun rising as if to hold off her threats physically. "Let me contact some people at Starfleet Command directly; there has to be something we can work out without inviting bloodshed. Please?"
Two of her eyes looked away from the screen, whether at someone or something beyond his view, or just in an indication of thought. Taking a breath of her own, she finally spoke calmly but firmly. "Our needs are simple, clear and unchanging. Since we approach the time for meals for both our peoples, you have two of your hours to 'work out' an acceptable answer. At that time, my Regatta either makes preparations to return home, or we 'work out' something with the Dominion."
The screen went blank; and Sisko's expression finally showed the level of emotion he'd bottled during the exchange with this Gamma Quadrant leader. "Damn!" Turning to the communications technician who handled the call, he set many other people into action. "Senior staff meeting now. Get Ensign Magenau up here, and get me patched through to Admiral Ross. Damn!"
Magenau could sense the tension in Ops well before the Station's command deck came into view as the turbolift rose into place. Every senior staff member of the Station was gathered around the central status console; the mix of silence and heated discussion all held the same high level of stress. Being a telepath only added one more layer to the thick atmosphere; and he had been ordered to step into it.
"Excuse me, Captain," he called down into the pit. "You called for me, sir?"
With a quick glance up, Sisko motioned him down. "Please join us, Ensign. We need some of your legendary insights." Not waiting for the young man to move, he re-summarized for everyone present, "Because we have denied them passage through the wormhole, the Tashu'at have threatened to request the Dominion's assistance to get them through. We've informed Starfleet Command, and are waiting on their response."
Standing next to their newest arrival, Dax added, "In the meanwhile, we're monitoring Tashu'at transmissions, and watching for signs of Dominion fleet movements along the border."
"Very soon," Sisko boiled it all down, "we could be the site of a showdown over these seven little ships."
Seeing Magenau looking over the tables and their faces as he listened—all without expression, the ranking Bajoran officer attempted to use their secret weapon. "So Ensign, the question is, presuming Starfleet's answer won't change and the Tashu'at do call for help, how will the Dominion respond?"
"They will come," he answered plainly and without delay. Knowing both the speed and content of his message had caught his colleagues off guard, he explained, "At this point the Dominion can't lose: If we allow the Regatta to return through the wormhole, then it appears that the Dominion threat has forced us to do so; and they've won. If we don't, the Dominion can claim the moral high ground here, because they're interceding on behalf of this small, neutral party wronged by the large, uncaring Federation. They don't even have to succeed in forcing a return to be able to play hero successfully."
"And I'd guess that a shot at re-taking the Station, and the 'Tolesat' to boot, is mighty tempting!" Chief O'Brien personalized.
Sisko shook his head, "So letting the Tashu'at through the wormhole before it comes to any of that is our only way out?"
Dax's face wrinkled at the problems that solution would create. "That would be a direct violation of both a Federation Council decision and Admiral Ross' standing order!"
Less concerned with Federation chains of authority, Kira reminded them all that, "Discipline concerns aside, if we send them in with blessings of the Emissary, the Prophets will probably let them through. And when better for the Dominion to send someone, a ship, or even several ships back with them, as a 'security escort' or something? We can't let them re-establish that contact!"
Sisko cast a questioning look over to Magenau, whose composure seemed to have cracked a little at all the talk of battles, take-overs and his being a target in it all. But he remained silent.
The doctor spoke up for the first time, showing his analytics extended beyond illness and injury. "Hold on a moment, aren't we forgetting the Tashu'at themselves? They've not been especially forthcoming with details about their culture or technology…"
His friend Miles nodded, "And their shields are largely impervious to our sensors. We have no way of knowing what information they have gathered and could report to the Dominion on the other side."
Worf grimaced at another inference. "Our permission and Dominion pressure may be irrelevant. We also have no idea of what the Tashu'at are capable of doing themselves to forcibly enter the wormhole."
Presuming his invitation to participate held, and needing to play some active part in the whirlwind around him, Magenau interjected, "I agree with Mr. Worf. Remember that the Tashu'at haven't been conquered by the Dominion; they simply share a non-aggression agreement. I find it hard to believe that the Founders simply find these solids so unremarkable that conquering them isn't necessary."
Eyes around the table turned toward him with worry as he continued to share, "Rather, I'd guess that the Tashu'at have somehow managed to keep themselves free from Dominion control in the Gamma Quadrant…"
Silence hung among the group momentarily, until their leader made the implication explicit for all. "And if they can keep the Dominion at bay on its own turf…"
NOTES
1. Vulcan for "My name is Magenau. It is time." Adapted from Saavik's lines to a regenerated Spock in STIII: The Search for Spock.
2. Jake's penchant for writing had made him a reporter for the Federation News Service by Call to Arms (DS9 5.26).
3. When Weyoun 4 sought Federation help to deal with a party of renegade Jem'Hadar in To the Death (DS9 4.23)
