Merlin strode swiftly through the streets of Radiant Garden, determined to meet King Mickey at the Control Room. He had just received the message, something was wrong, very wrong. He passed the village square, pausing to smile at Noob and Simon surrounded by the village children, including Huey, Dewy, Louie, and the Little Match Girl; "Matches" they all called her. Noob and Simon were good with children and could always make them smile. Merlin blinked in suspicion of what they were doing with Cloud's motorcycle, and Leon's convertible (Leon's sole possession from his world). He thought he heard Noob saying something about "Jeep Stuff"? Merlin shook his head, no time for fun and games.
Mickey and Cid turned to greet Merlin as he entered the Control Room. "It's good to see you, Your Majesty," Merlin said with a bow.
"Thank you, Merlin!" Mickey replied. "Cid told me about the battle the other day! Great thinking from both of you! And please introduce me to those brave men who saved that poor girl! But there's trouble at Disney Town, the Castle is in danger!"
"Is it Organization 13?" Merlin asked.
"No. The heartless are back! I sensed their presence there and have been using my magic to hold it at bay. But I can feel my magic growing weaker! It's as if some kind of force is draining my magic away!"
"Draining magic!" Merlin gasped. That should be all but impossible, but Merlin knew better than to say so. From his studies of in all the worlds of Kingdom Hearts, including those beyond but not out of reach, he knew there was only one creature capable of that, just one.
"I couldn't believe it myself, Merlin," Mickey said. "But it's true, soon I won't be able to hold back the darkness and even my keyblade might not be able to stop what's coming, not while magic is being drained!"
"Not to worry my King. For we have an army that doesn't need…magic…" Merlin said with a wink. There was a burst of inertia as Pluto, Mickey's faithful dog loped past from the door way and sat eagerly in front of Mickey, flicking his tail to and fro. Mickey patted his dog approvingly and gratefully took the letter from his mouth.
"OH NO!" Mickey shrieked. "The heartless are there! With shadow soldiers! They're attacking both the castle and the town! Minnie was hosting a party for all the princesses when they attacked. The castle guards are holding as best they can but many have already been killed!"
"Then there's not a moment to lose!" Merlin grunted. "Cid, sound the alarm, we must mobilize our full force to protect the Castle and the princesses!"
Cid, already at the nearby computer console, shook his head sadly. "Too much interference from the darkness and whatever it is stifling the magic. Won't be able to land the full force in there. Maybe a team of about twelve, be enough to replicate a team death match for them, but not the whole force." Merlin sighed.
"Then look up their rankings and round of the top twelve best. The others will remain on standby. Where are they?"
Cid tapped a button on the console to bring up the security cameras. "Most of them are hanging out in the barracks, some are training in the old battlefield, a few are buying ice cream, and the two morons are…um… Well see for yourself…"
Merlin approached the console to stare in wide-eyed amazement as Noob drove Cloud's motorcycle up to a make-shift ramp, Matches sitting excitedly on his lap. Simon clicked a detonator just as they cleared the ramp, sending them soaring into the air. The blast echoed even to the control room, shaking the castle to its foundations. Merlin was certain he heard a shrill voice screaming "WE'RE FLYING!"
Cid tapped a button to show a camera feed facing the sky. Noob and Matches were now parachuting safely down to the village, another camera showed the motorcycle crashing into the great blue cliffs. Merlin sighed deeply, Cid gave him an understanding nod, he'd be hard at work to fix the bike before Cloud returned.
"In any case, this will be a good opportunity to try something out the boys have been asking for," Cid sighed.
"What's that?" asked Merlin.
[Disney Town]
Minnie Mouse trembled in terror in Disney Town square. Even her best friend Daisy, at her side, could do little to comfort her. The beautiful gazebo in the center had been reduced to rubble, most of the shops and houses were on fire, and the town streets were empty save for the guardsmen scrambling to defend their royalty.
All the other princesses huddled behind Minnie and shivered in fear as black clouds choked the sky and gusts of frigid winds chilled through their beautiful dresses. It almost felt like a blizzard was hitting, though absent the charming, joyful snow. Minnie felt the worst for Pocahontas, Moana, Jasmin, and Meg; whose clothes were intended for much warmer weather.
The princesses and their queen could do nothing but shudder in fear as the royal guards struggled to hold off the oncoming waves of heartless. The little ones were easy enough for them, but those shadowy soldiers had nearly been the death of them as the group made their way to the town square from the castle. So many of the guards had already fallen, some might even return as heartless!
Minnie kicked herself for not being more assertive when Elsa, Anna, and Vanillape insisted on staying behind. Her and the guards had pleaded they come along and warned Elsa that her magic might not be useful for long. But Elsa wouldn't listen and Anna would never leave her side. Vanillape was a well-meaning girl, but she was so impulsive and defiant. When one of the guards asserted himself slightly, the little racer princess only doubled down, as did Elsa. Why did they have to be so stubborn?
Thankfully the eerie, unnaturally cold, wind wasn't the only sound. The town's loudspeaker was still playing the king's beloved marching hymn in defiance of the grim circumstances. Minnie wasn't sure if someone had deliberately left it on to keep their hopes alive or if the speaker control room had simply been abandoned too quickly for the controller to turn it off.
Then another sound joined the unnerving cacophony. A kind of clapping noise that seemed to be growing louder by the second. Another tune became audible in the air, a stark contrast to the upbeat march music. It started with a repeating roll of drums, then went into a guitar solo. Soon a green helicopter appeared, its propellers slicing through the dark clouds like knives. Two more choppers followed it, all three with speakers mounted on the sides, playing the same rock and roll music.
"Some folks are born, made to wave the flag. Ooh they're red white and blue. And when the band plays hail to the chief, ooh they point the cannon at you. It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no senator's son. It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no fortunate one."
The choppers landed atop the flattened remains of the gazebo and soldiers in green uniforms leapt out. They ran for the roads guarded by the weakening and terrified royal guards and immediately began opening fire on the heartless with their rifles and machine guns, unheard of in Disney Town. Some of the soldiers turned and ran toward the huddled princesses, who shook nervously as the armed strangers approached. One with a golden eagle on his helmet seemed to be leading the other three.
"Queen Minnie," the leader grunted.
"Yes?" Minnie replied timidly.
"Best get yourself and as many of the princesses as you can into the choppers. They'll fly you to safety at Radiant Garden. Once the choppers return we'll start evacuating the guards with the remaining princesses. My soldiers and I will hold these NANCIES off!" he finished drawing his knife with a grim smirk.
Minnie's eyes bulged in realization. "You must be those soldiers Mickey mentioned!"
"That's right," Colonel replied. "Don't you ladies worry, just leave it to the battlefield professionals." He turned to walk away.
"Wait!" Minnie cried out. The Colonel paused and looked back with a challenging but not callous face. "Three of us are missing! Elsa, Anna, and Vanillape! They went for the roof of the castle, trying to fight the heartless off from the high ground. But magic is being drained! I don't know how long they can last up there!" Again Minnie lamented her new friends' stubbornness which sometimes bordered on childishness.
"Don't worry, we'll find them," Colonel said with confidence. "Now mount up, your highnesses!" he softly barked. "Those choppers can carry at least five each. You three escort the ladies to the choppers then report to the front!"
"Yes, sir! Right away sir!" said one soldier with a dark skin tone and a peace sign on his helmet, he and the other two saluted as Colonel strode toward the enemy brandishing his knife. "Sorry about the Colonel, ma'am, I mean your majesty," said the soldier timidly. "He can come off rough, but it's just his way of showing he cares."
"Is it?" asked a soldier with a thick brown beard.
"Hey, come on dude!" the soldier with glasses chided his teammate.
Medic cut them both off before an argument could break out and the three of them began ushering the princesses to the choppers, warning them to keep low. "Get in ma choppi, bra!" the blonde haired pilot called out, barely audible over the chopping blades. Minnie insisted on Pocahontas, Moana, Jasmin, and Meg getting in first. Snow White went in with them and the chopper's hum grew deafening as it gained altitude and vanished into the darkness. Cinderella, Aurora, Arielle, Belle, and Mulan climbed into the next one. Mulan, Alice, Jane, Rapunzel, and Merida were loaded onto the third. Despite begging and pleading from the girls as well as the soldiers, Minnie insisted on only leaving with the last of wounded. This was still her kingdom and she wouldn't abandon it! She wondered if she had been too hard on Elsa, Anna, and Vanillape.
"Alright, your majesty," said Recon. "But stay close to me, and keep your eyes peeled for danger. I'll be picking the enemy off from afar and spotting," he finished as he knelt down on the slight rise of the gazebo debris then peered down his rifle scope. Engineer rolled his eyes.
"Great! You want me to pitch a tent for the two of you? Maybe build a fire? So you can roast some SMORES!" he roared as he turned to walk sullenly away with Medic.
"Never mind him," Recon said with a sigh. "He doesn't like campers…eh… people who stay in the rear and pick off enemies, just not his playstyle." Minnie and Daisy both nodded awkwardly.
"Take it easy man!" Medic gasped as they made their way to the frontline.
"Come on man! The princesses were always my least favorite part of Disney!" Engineer groaned. "I mean all dreaminess, all the whining, all the whimsy singing, and even the latest bunch are all just plain obnoxious! All that, oh we girls don't need MEN shit! Well let's see how you like us now that an army of demonic shadows are bearing down on you and you need US to come charging in to the rescue! You gonna keep on being a bunch of little Judge Judy BITCHES?!"
"CALM DOWN!" Medic barked. "Save it for the enemy! And maybe be grateful that Cid managed to get 'Bad Company 2 Vietnam' going!" he finished as they reached the line and began firing at the shadowy Vietcong troops charging from the streets. The soldiers roared with bloodlust and fury as the dark commies attacked. Engineer fell to sniper and was immediately revived by Medic. Recon fired at the exposed VC sniper, sending him toppling from the roof of a building. The gunshots ensued for a moment then died down as the enemy fell back to regroup. The choppers returned to load up the royal guards, starting with the wounded. Minnie insisted Daisy go with them and that she would leave with the last of the guards.
An uneasy quiet settled throughout the town, only Minnie and less than ten guardsmen remained waiting for evac. The only sound was the continuing loop of the Mickey Mouse Club March. Engineer began chuckling. Medic rolled his eyes, then stared in confusion that he hadn't picked up some super OP weapon. "What is it?" he asked.
"You know what this is like?" Engineer asked rhetorically. "Full Metal Jacket!" Medic raised an eyebrow. "You know, that famous Vietnam movie with the Gunny as the drill instructor?"
"The Gunny as the drill sergeant?" grimaced the other engineer. "That's not even just ONE MOVIE! That's like half the man's career!"
"Yeah, but Full Metal Jacket is like the BEST!" Engineer broke in. "And he wasn't even my favorite part, it was this shit!"
"The ending march?" another soldier asked.
"Yeah the end!" Engineer replied. "Where after killing the sniper chick they all march off into the sunset singing the Mickey Mouse song that's playing on the loudspeaker!"
"A Vietnam War movie that ends with the Mickey Mouse song?" Medic asked skeptically.
"It's a Kubrick film, man! Don't expect everything to be natural!" Engineer sighed. "Come on guys let's sing it before Charlie comes again! WHO'S THE LEADER OF THE CLUB THAT'S MADE FOR YOU AND ME?" Engineer started loud and proud. To Medic's amazement, most of the others joined in.
"M-I-C-K-E-Y-M-O-U-S-E! MICKEY MOUSE! Mickey Mouse! MICKEY MOUSE! Mickey Mouse! FOREVER LET US HOLD OUR BANNER HIGH! HIGH! HIGH! HIGH! EVERY GIRL AND BOY YOU ARE AS WELCOM AS CAN BE! M-I-C-K-E-Y-M-O-U-S-E!"
Despite himself, Medic found himself joining in. Recon did the same as Minnie gaped in shock at a song about her beloved she had only ever heard the tune of. And the men all sang it with such practiced endearing. Like it had been a huge part of their childhoods.
A sniper shot cracked as one of the soldiers fell, the singing immediately ceased and the front burst into automatic gunfire. Engineer drew a bazooka and fired into an oncoming river of smaller heartless. They burst into liquid fire as the rocket exploded dead center. Engineer's cheer of triumph was cut short by the sniper. Recon zeroed in on the enemy marksman and downed him with a headshot. Medic paused firing long enough to revive Engineer then both joined in spraying the charging VC. The enemy went down by the dozen. Then a heavy waddled up the road. The soldier's eyes widened. They'd never encountered one, but Sora had told them all about them. Big purple bowling balls on lets, who at any point could start rolling at them, a big heavy ball of death! And they were shielded from the front by magic, only vulnerable in the rear. To their visible horror, the round foe knelt and began to roll towards them with startling speed.
"SPLIT!" Medic cried, hoping they'd all get the idea. Thankfully they all figured it out and the soldiers at the middle dodged left and right just in time to avoid being steamrolled as the lumbering purple ball passed. "RECON MOVE!" Medic bellowed. Luckily the heavy had come to a stop right at the edge of the rubble where Recon and Minnie stood, both visibly sighing. Then the heavy sprang back to life and balled its mighty fists. Recon and Minnie stumbled back in horror. Recon nearly fired a shot, then remembered it was impervious from the front.
The sniper and the queen both toppled over on a protruding chunk of debris and stared up helplessly at the lumbering behemoth raising his fists to pummel them. Recon desperately lunged between the queen and the monster when an explosion knocked him flat on top of her, a shower of bubbles fluttered down around them.
Recon apologized as he helped himself and Minnie up. They turned around to see Engineer blowing smoke from the barrel of his bazooka with a blinding smile. "ARE YOU CRAZY?" Recon roared. "YOU COULD HAVE KILLED US!"
"YOU'RE WELCOME!" Engineer snapped. Recon shrugged in disgust at his thoughtlessness. He could have respawned but Minnie wouldn't have. Engineer mockingly mimicked his shrug, sometimes there was just no communicating with him.
The choppers swooped in for the final pick up. The soldiers fell back in good order and Recon carefully picked Minnie up and helped her inside the middle one. The last of the wounded were placed carefully on the floor and the soldiers were careful not to step on them.
"WAIT!" Minnie protested. "Where's your leader? I haven't seen him!" The soldiers looked around, none of them had seen him walk off, or even saw him at the front. But none of them seemed anxious or worried.
"Don't worry, your majesty," said Medic. "Trust me, he can take care of himself."
…
Atop the roof of King Mickey's castle, Elsa was about to collapse. How could her magic be failing her? A disgusting sense of helplessness swept over her as her knees began to buckle. Anna grabbed her and held her up with all her might. "I knew we should have listened to the queen!" Anna sighed.
"Awe! Queen, shween!" Vanillape huffed from the seat of the gummi ship in the middle of the roof. "She'd have just made us to do as all those guardsmen wanted to do!"
"They were only trying to help!" Anna protested. She wished more than ever she had sided with Minnie. She understood both the others had been betrayed by men before, but did they really need to be so stubborn. Not that she was one to talk, and she knew it! Staying in the castle to fight the heartless was the silliest thing she'd done since ridding off into a magic winter without boots or winter clothing. Come to think of it she probably wouldn't have made it without Christoph and Spen. She caught herself wishing she could have thanked them both one more time. But it was no time for that, they had to get out of there, and now that gummi ship was their last chance.
Vanillape fiddled with a few more wires and the ship came to life with a roar. The little girl clapped and cheered her victory and waved the two sisters to climb aboard. The gummi ship took off as a thick fog of blackness enveloped the entire castle and the outlying town. Suddenly there was nothing but a lifeless back void outside the ship. The three princesses fought hard to mask their terror.
Bolts of lightning struck the ship as a heartless gummi ship flew in for the kill. Vanillape began tapping buttons at random, looking for the weapons and defensive measures, but to no avail. Bolts of dark energy tor into the hull of the ship, the engine burst into flames. The girls clutched each other in wide-eyed horror, certain this was how it would end.
To the shock of all, a soldier flew, seemingly out of nowhere, into the side of the heartless ship. They watched as he hacked and slashed viciously at the ship's engine with his knife, soon the engine was burning worse than theirs was and the soldier leapt for their ship, landing on their windshield just as the heartless ship exploded. His grim face was very calm, almost indifferent.
"Got room for one more?" he asked. The three princesses blinked in surprise as he casually opened the side hatch and climbed inside.
"Yes," Anna answered. "But I don't think we'll last much longer!"
"WE'RE CRASHING!" Vanillape shrieked as the ship began to fall deeper into the black void.
"Just point this bird at that light," the soldier with the eagle on his helmet said, look calm as if he were at home in bed. Vanillape noticed a faint light shining in the distance and angled the ship towards it, but it was falling fast. A barren wasteland came into view from the lights of the ship as they began to plummet earthward. "Alright, let's bail! All three of you grab on to me and hold on tight!" he grunted, all three of them did as they were told and clung desperately to him as he leapt from the ship. Seconds later the gummi ship exploded on the rocky surface. Colonel and the princesses parachuted softly to the ground.
A quick look around and they all realized the darkness was closing in on them again. Vanillape was too shocked to object when the soldier picked her up onto his shoulders before grabbing the other two by their arms and dragging them toward the distant light at a dead run. "Alright, just run for it," he ordered. The two sisters panted for breath as he dragged them, neither dared complain and both kicked their high heels off as they ran.
"We're never going to make it!" Elsa gasped, on the verge of collapsing.
"Just run your asses off," Colonel grunted.
"Oh, no!" Vanillape shrieked as the darkness swept over them like a tidal wave. There was only darkness. A vacuum of death and despair, where not light nor hope could exist. A brilliant light shone in the darkness with the force of the sun. There stood the Colonel, shining in glory, with the sisters collapsed on both shoulders and Vanillape sulking unconscious on the back of his neck.
"I AM BATTLEFIELD!" he growled with vicious triumph before darting through the blackness at lightning speed. The distance between them and the light closed in seconds and with another brilliant blast, the three of them were standing safely before the Radiant Garden fountain, overlooking the vast field.
He eased the awakening princesses down, all three coughed with bulged eyes, as if they had stopped breathing. "What happened?" Elsa asked as she wobbled to her feet, Anna was too dizzy to help her.
"The darkness had us!" Vanillape gasped. "YOU SAVED US!" she beamed up at Colonel, whose eyes widened slightly as he drew his knife and spun around.
"Don't thank me just yet," he said as his face hardened to meet the lone heartless gummi ship that had followed them through the void. The princesses shrank back and toppled over in dizziness and fear as the ship bore down on them. The four of them stared in amazement as an old-looking, roofless car soared into the oncoming ship just as it came within range. The ship and the car both exploded in a blazing inferno. Their amazement grew as a lone soldier with glasses parachuted down with three young ducks strapped to his uniform.
"WOOO-HOOO!" the soldier whooped as he and his feathered friends slowly descended to the ground.
"WAKA-ROODY!" all three young ducks gasped as they touched ground gently.
"WASN'T THAT AWESOME?" the soldier cheered.
"SURE WAS, UNCA SIMON!" the boys chimed together.
"WE'RE BLOWING SHIT UP!" Simon roared as they rushed off down the road into the town, completely ignoring the four amazed figures staring after them.
