Tomorrow I'll Breathe
III : An Anniversary to Remember
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No One
Scared. Rikki Chadwick felt scared. Well, not really. More like...upset. Today was the day that she hated with all her being. Today was the day her mother passed away. The blonde had refused this to get in her way of living her life. The re-assurence and the fake confidence didn't help her. She crumbled into nothing with tears pouring out of her baby blue eyes.
Clutching the picture of her mother to her chest, she shakes as the tears stream down her cheeks. The blonde hated today with all her soul. If it wasn't for today, her mother would still be here. Her mother would be here and the family would be like it used to, not messed up.
The tears slow and the blonde looks at her mother's picture, pulling it away from her chest. Her mother is smiling, a young light blonde in her arms sleeping with her head to her mother's chest. The young blonde was Rikki when she was only two. Wiping away tears, the blonde stood shakingly from her bed, placing the picture down on the night stand.
Rikki changes into a black hoodie, dark jeans, and converse. She fixes her blonde hair and washes her face of the tears stains. As she walks out the door, she turns to look at her mother's picture again and knows what she has to do.
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Emma frowns when she sees the calender. She too disliked today, for obvious reasons. Her boss sends her an e-mail saying that Emma doesn't have to come into work today. The wheat-blonde frowned again, she didn't like people taking pity on her. All the pity in the world wouldn't make the Chadwick/Gilbert's okay for the death of Claire.
Emma slowly shuffles herself downstairs still in her blue pajamas. She expects to Rikki, the light blonde isn't there. Shrugging, Emma assumes that the light blonde's still asleep. She makes herself breakfast, slowly. Truthfully, she isn't hungry, she hopes that she will soon so the food won't be wasted.
The phone rings, the wheat-blonde slowly walks to get it. She picks up the phone and places it to her ear as she walks back to the kitchen, "Hello?" The wheat-blonde has a dull tone to her voice. "Emma? Are you okay?" It's Cleo. Her bubbly tone sad for her two best friends. She knows what day today is.
"Yeah, fine. Why wouldn't I be?" Emma answers boringly. A sigh is heard from the phone, "Emma, don't play with me. I want to help you." The wheat-blonde places her cooking utensils down and goes to sit on the couch, "There isn't anything you can do, Cleo."
"What do you mean? Yes there is!" Emma's volume turns up a couple of notches, "No! There isn't! My step-mother is dead and you can't do anything about it!" With that, she hangs up the phone and throws it onto the floor. They have a rug so it just makes a small thump and rolls on the curved back before stopping.
Emma sits on the couch, she looks around with sad eyes and a frown on her face. There is no noise, everything is silent. The wheat-blonde acts fine before she buries her face in her palms and starts to cry.
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Cleo's mouth hangs open for a minute or two as she listens to the dial tone. The brunette shuts it before flipping her cell phone closed and laying down in her bed. She looks up her pink bedroom wall whilst thoughts scattered around in her head.
Emma and Rikki were both hurt. Rikki the most. Zane wasn't even trying to help, or was he? Cleo herself wasn't in the best shape, either. A week ago, some of the school cheerleaders had picked on her. At first, she took it was nothing. Then, she looked at her body and the same words repeated in her mind.
Fat. Ugly. Stupid. Useless. Trash. Wash-Out.
Her tears poured out of her brown eyes before she wiped them off her cheeks. The brunette stands off the bed and takes a tin of pills with her. She swallows one dry before the sinking feeling comes into her stomach. Her stomach does turns, something feels as though it's climbing up her neck. The brunette runs to the bathroom and throws up. The tin of pills sit on her night stand while she throws out her life and flushes it down the toilet. Literally.
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Rikki's converse squish as they step on the wet cement. It had rained last night, a storm actually. The blonde didn't care. She continued walking to her destination. People don't look at her as she walks down the street. Thankfully. Right now, she seriosuly looks like a theif. Her black hoodie is up and she's got her pale hands in her sweater pockets.
Small drops of rain start to fall from the clouds to the streets below. Some people shield themselves with their newspapers, others open umbrellas. Rikki lets nature soak her slowly. She's almost there, anyway. It only took two hours, on foot, to walk from her house to where she was going.
Maybe Emma already saw that the light blonde wasn't even in the house. Maybe she was still crying. Either way, she'd know where Rikki had gone.
Rikki pushes the black, iron gates so she can slip in. The word Cementery is molded into the top of the black gates. At first, there's a large widthed, gravel path meant for cars. As she continues to walk, the blonde stays on the now narrow cement path meant for maybe two people side by side.
She continues to walk, the blonde knows where the grave is. There are many graves, she realizes while walking. So many people, taken away from their families. Some for stupid reasons, others because their time had come, and many because of battles and wars.
The blonde remembers her real father as she makes her way to both of their graves. He had been in the army. Brave, strong-willed, never backed down. That was her father. She loved him to bits, as did her mother. He went off to fight in the middle east and one day, five months later, a letter came. Only one sentence stuck out to her mother and herself.
We are sorry, Gregory Chadwick passed when his unit camp exploded.
Exploded? They had to find pieces of her father just to put him in his grave. Tears shined against Rikki's eyes as she remembered. Her mother had been an awful mess. Always crying and mourning, wearing black everyday. Rikki did the same, she loved her father and now he was gone.
Rikki stops when she spots the two graves she is looking for. They're side by side, as they would always be. Stepping off the cement path, her converse come in contact with the dewy grass and wet soil. The blonde ignores the noise her shoes make and walks the short distance.
The blonde stares down at her parent's graves. Fresh tears trail down her cheeks.
Gregory Chadwick
Beloved Father and Husband.
Fought for his country and died, proudly.
Claire Mary Chadwick/Gilbert
Beloved Mother and Wife.
She will always be remembered.
Rikki sits Indian style infront of her parent's graves, a shaky smile on her lips. "Hey, mom. Hey, dad." There is no answer, but Rikki doesn't care. "I just wanted to say, I'm doing good. I know you were dissapointed when I started doing drugs and drinking. I'm sorry. I-I was just trying to forget that you both were gone. That I wouldn't see you every morning like I used to. That there won't be any more family trips. That your dead."
Rikki's crying even more. The tears flowing down her cheeks quickly as she shakingly smiles at her parent's grave stones. "I'm sorry mom, I'm sorry dad. I'm sorry I didn't go to your funerals. I just couldn't. I-I couldn't stand the fact that you were gone. Now I have.."
A drop of rain falls on the blonde's head. Millions more follow. Rikki chuckles softly as the rain soaks her and she looks around. The sky is crying with me. It was a fable that Rikki's mother and father would always tell her when it was raining. The sky is sad, it's crying.
Her blonde hair sticks to her as do her clothes. The blonde's attention turns back to her parents and she starts crying all over again. "I-I just want to say...I miss you." She buries her face in her palms and shakes with sobs as the rain becomes more violent.
The blonde picks herself up and tells her parent's goodbye with a shaky smile before walking back to the street and out of the cementery. Her hands dig into her sweater pockets as she tries to find warmth, it's no use. Her whole body is frozen and starting to go numb.
Rikki picks up her walking pace, she crosses a street without looking. Headlights shine and the blonde turns with wide eyes. The car strikes her with full force and she flies into the air before coming down hard to the ground. Her head hits the ground harshly and her body goes dead. The driver stops the car abruptly, climbing out he looks at the girl and calls 911.
Rikki finally finds her warmth.
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- Marie xx
