When the dust settled, America raised his arms over his head in victory. In his hand was the microphone. England pulled a hamburger out of his pocket and used it to distract America while he retrieved the mic.
"That's quite enough of that," said England. He set the mic back down in the middle of the table. "Let's start with the first issue of today."
"But of course," said France. "The most important thing we must discuss is No Pants Day."
"No Pants Day?" the other nations chorused.
"Yes," said France. "This is following up from my proposition last time - "
"No, you git!" shouted England. "I meant we need to talk about important things!"
"But Angleterre, this is important."
"Honestly," England said, sighing in exasperation to an empty space beside him. "Can you believe what I'm forced to tolerate?"
"Uh, England?" said America. "You're not talking to Tinkerbelle again, are you?"
"For the hundredth time, his name is not Tinkerbelle. It's Moonblossom!"
"And stop distracting from No Pants Day!"
America, England, and France jumped at one another. Punches were thrown. Dust clouds were raised. Pants were removed. Russia observed with a blissful smile on his face.
"Hey, China."
"Ah... yes, aru?"
"Isn't it lovely to watch their little bodies get pulverized by one another?"
China shuddered. He inched away from Russia, but Russia followed every time he tried to move away. That's when China remembered the microphone that was sitting on the table. He grabbed it and spoke into it as loudly as he could.
"Attention Allied Forces, aru!"
At once, the fighting stopped, if only because the others had never heard China's voice that loud before.
"We came here to have an important meeting, aru, so let's set our bickering aside... and have a snack, aru!"
China reached into his back pocket and pulled out an entire Chinese restaurant. Everyone stuffed themselves with dim sum and fried rice, and after that, they were much more cooperative. America took the mic again.
"Okay, so let's start this meeting for real," he said calmly.
"Even if Canada is not here?"
"He snoozes, he loses. Okay, so the first topic on the agenda is - "
The microphone screeched with feedback. Everyone covered their ears and cringed.
"Point it away, you git!"
"Huh? Oh, okay... Okay-ay-ay-ay... Hey, when I talk like this, it echoes."
England facepalmed.
"America, what are you doing?"
"Echo! Echo!" he shouted into the mic. The mic and speaker system obliged.
"Echo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o..." America's voice rang out through the room. This continued until more feedback squeaked in and America's voice went funny. Then the mic stopped working entirely.
"Aww, man," said America. "This thing is busted."
"What does that matter, aru, if you were only playing with it, aru?"
"Stupid piece of garbage," America muttered. "Probably made in China. Uh, no offence, China."
China scowled.
"Why did I waste perfectly good Har Gow on you?"
