A/N: I'm back and here is your third profile... and a little extra


Disclaimer: You know the drill...


Neji's Bingo Book

After rereading the current profiles in his trusty little black book, Neji knew that it just wasn't enough. Hinata interacts with more males than those two… The problem wasn't that Neji didn't know who those male were. The problem was that he didn't know who to start with. She rarely interacts with others if it wasn't work related. In the end, he decided to do more snooping—err, information gathering by going over to where his cousin was. He at least expected to gather more data today than he did yesterday.

It wasn't long until he spotted her as she was exiting the Hyuuga compound. He called out to her and walked over when she stopped and turned to look at him.

"Hinata-sama, you're headed somewhere?" He stated more than asked.

She blinked slowly and looked up at him—as he was taller—and tried to think of reasons her cousin would call her for.

"H-hai. D-do you need something nii-san?"

"No. I have nothing to do today so I was going to ask you to accompany me for a training session or perhaps a walk around town," He was mildly surprised that she had plans for today that he didn't know about. "My apologies for delaying you, Hinata-sama, seeing as you seem to have a prior appointment."

His eyes had a narrowed edge unto them, suspicions filling his thoughts. Where else would she go at a time this early? A date perhaps? Hinata noticing the slight tightening of her cousin's jaw quickly misinterpreted it as disappointment.

"Y-you don't have to apologize nii-san. I'm sorry I can't come with you today. I promised Kurenai-sensei I'd take care of her son, Hiro-kun, today," Never one to feel easy when turning someone's request down, Hinata stared nervously at her feet while tugging at the hem of her jacket. "K-kurenai-sensei has important work-related matters to deal with. I'm really sorry nii-san. I promise I'll go next time."

She had said her last sentence in a rush that he almost didn't get it. She ended up being flustered and lowering her head in a bow. It was Neji's turn to blink and stare, and soon a small smile reached the corners of his lips, a sign of amusement at his cousin's behavior. He gently placed his hand over her lowered head and ruffled her hair playfully while chuckling a little.

"It's you who doesn't have to apologize," He shook his head sideways to further show his amusement as she raised her head to look at him hopefully.

"You're not mad?"

"Not at all. You're thinking too much into it, Hinata-sama. I'm merely worried about you. You better head off now; I've delayed you for too long."

"O-oh, bye then," she flashed him an embarrassed grin and waved shyly as she once again turned to leave.

He was about to head back into the compound with a small smile on his face, that was, until he heard the rest of her goodbye. "Don't worry about me, nii-san. Shikamaru-kun is coming too…" He almost gave himself a whiplash when he tried to turn around and stop her but she had already left.

-o

Profile 3

Target: The BoredPineapple

Name: Nara, Shikamaru

A.K.A.: Lazy-ass, Lazy-head, Lazy-butt

-o

Neji paused. Every single cell in Shikamaru's being was lazy. He had to get this over with quick in order to catch up to his cousin. He continued scribbling as he walked down the street to Kurenai's home, ignoring the curious glances the pedestrians were giving him.

-o

Appearance: Generally bored appearance.

Hair: Black hair tied in a spiky bundle

Eyes: Narrow brown eyes

Skin Color: Intermediate skin complexion

Others: Head is pineapple-shaped

Threat: Low

Observations:

Extremely intelligent despite outward appearance. Be cautious!

Seen usually observing skies.

Relationship to Hinata-sama appears limited to work.

Exploring prospect of a deeper connection through Kurenai's child.

-o

Neji has much respect for the lazy genius. He doesn't know him much outside of their lives as shinobi, however from what he'd heard, Pineapple had this vague thing going on with the Suna delegate. He did not appear to be interested at all towards the opposite gender and he recalls Pineapple generalizing womankind as 'troublesome'. Despite all of this, he deemed it appropriate to observe them interact—just to be safe and to possibly gather a bit more data.

Settling himself below a window ledge and activating his Byakugan to view Kurenai's living room, Neji Hyuuga masked his presence with the efficiency of the ANBU captain that he was.

o-o-o

"Ah, Hiro-kun stay here for a while, okay? I bet that's Shikamaru-kun at the door" Hinata glanced at the door and waited as the person behind it knocked again.

She gently placed the toddler down and proceeded to let Shikamaru in. "G-good day, Shika-kun. Kurenai-sensei has already left and Hiro-kun has been waiting for you eagerly." She smiled at him as he nodded and returned the greeting.

"Ah. Where is the troublesome little tike?" Hinata knew that the small smile on his face betrayed how troublesome he found little Hiro to be.

Hiro looked at them curiously with wide scarlet eyes. With glee, Hiro addressed them both while clapping his hands excitedly. Shikamaru amusedly shook his head from side-to-side with a muttered 'Troublesome'. Hinata blushed prettily and offered a huge grin as Hiro lunged himself towards her outstretched arms.

And Neji… Neji choked and died on the spot.

-o

Okay, maybe he wasn't dead…yet. But he was pretty damn close to asphyxiating himself. After a few moments, when he finally regained his ability to breathe, Neji narrowed his eyes, making the veins surrounding it bulge more. The words innocent little Hiro gleefully addressed his cousin and the Pineapple with, echoing continuously inside his head.

"Ayah! Nata-mama! Shika-papa!"

"mama-Nata! Papa-Shika!"

He took out his notebook and with a giant 'X', scratched a part that he knew needed revision.

-o

Threat: (Low) HIGH (especially paired with the terrible toddler)

-o

He paused. The child needed a profile of his own; especially with the way he was hugging and burying his face in his cousin's front. Even so, he wasn't as paranoid as to classify a baby with hormone driven teenagers so he acquiesced with himself to just settle with a partial profile.

He wasn't one to rule out a target solely because of a seventeen-year-gap.

-o

Profile 3.5

Target: The Dirty Diaper

Name: Yuuhi, Hiro

A.K.A.: Pineapple jr., Tiny tot, Terrible Toddler

Appearance: Cheerful and Innocent. (..)

Hair: Black hair tied messily on head as well

Eyes: Wide Scarlet eyes

Skin Color: Intermediate skin complexion

Others: Head is pineapple-shaped albeit smaller

Threat: Moderate (with potential to escalate as he ages)

Observations:

Taken care of by Hinata-sama

Treats Hinata-sama and Pineapple as surrogate pare—nts

-o

Neji fished out a kunai out of his pocket. His pencil had broken when he wrote the last word in The Dirty Diaper's profile. With a deep breath to calm himself, he resumed his spy work—err casual monitoring.

-o

"So where d'ya wanna go little runt?" Shikamaru picked up the little boy and ruffled his hair with his knuckles. "I personally think it's too troublesome but your mother says that you need to go out more. You've been cooped up in here for too long, she says."

Hiro looked at him in puzzlement. "Kaa-san?"

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow. "Yes, your mother. Black hair, red eyes. Who else would I be talking about?"

Hiro giggled as if to answer his question and exclaimed loudly. "Nata-mama!"

Shikamaru smirked. "Right. You have two mothers."

"Um!" Hiro nodded fervently. "kaa-san!" He pointed to a picture of Kurenai on a side table. "Nata-mama!" He pointed gleefully at a blushing Hinata.

"A-ano Shika-kun, perhaps we could take him out for lunch since Kurenai-sensei wasn't able to prepare anything and it might take me some time to make some." Seeing Hiro's expectant look, she added, "We could take him to the park afterwards a-and maybe go grocery shopping. Kurenai-sensei must find it difficult to find time for these things so it would probably be of great help."

Glancing from the hopeful Hinata and the excited boy in his arms, Shikamaru knew that he really didn't have a choice in the matter. He barely resisted the urge to say his favorite word. For some reason, he felt as if the day would be extra 'troublesome'. What he didn't know was that trouble came in the form of an overprotective cousin ducking behind the very window he was gazing at.

o-o-o

Now, Neji knew that Shikamaru was not the type to take advantage of situations such as the present one—or at least for the sake of the Pineapple's safety, he hoped not. Otherwise, he'll find himself as a test subject for numerous new jutsus Neji has yet to make up. He narrowed his eyes at their joined hands as he followed them discretely through the streets.

o-o-o

Hinata was finding it really hard to fight down her blush. Hiro-kun had insisted that she and 'Shika-papa' hold hands with each other just like the mini-versions of his 'kaa-san' and 'tou-san' in the picture on top of the side table. Shikamaru had stiffened but she knew that, like her, he wouldn't deprive the little boy of the joy of belonging to a whole family. Even though Hiro would eventually have to accept that he would never be able to meet his 'tou-san' outside the picture, 'Shika-papa' would always be there to watch over him in his stead.

When he grows a little older, they would have to explain that they aren't his real parents. Right now though, with his limited understanding of words and their meanings it was really not an option to deny him. The child could barely walk and knew little to no words outside 'mama' and 'papa'. So there they were, hand in hand, wishing to all forms of gods out there that none of their friends saw them. It would be as Shikamaru aptly describes… troublesome.

o-o-o

Neji contemplated on throwing a rock at the Pineapple. He decided against it as he might hit the child he was carrying with his left arm. The arm not holding Hinata-sama, he noted. He needed something to break off their entwined hands—a contact he did not approve of.

He grabbed the latest copy of the local newspaper off a random street stand, buried his face in it, and allowed a bit of distance between his targets and himself. In guise of a harmless bystander harmlessly reading a harmless newspaper, he activated his bloodline limit to search for anything that could help him fulfill his endeavors. The corners of his lips twitched upwards slightly as he spotted something that would be very useful to him. Grabbing a water bottle at another random street stand, he positioned himself, ready to execute his new found plan.

o-o-o

Shikamaru stopped abruptly as he felt something wet and sloppy hit the back of his neck. As Hinata glanced at him curiously, he released her hand and carefully touched his nape. He was mildly disturbed to feel something squishy there. He took it and examined it closely.

"I-it's a spitball," Hinata supplied, her look one of curiosity and slight amusement.

Darting his head around, he noticed a few kids, on the street to their left, playing with straws and well… spit.

"Must have been a misfire," he thought with a grimace as Hiro bounced happily in his hold.

"Let's just keep going," He shoved his free hand inside his pocket. He knew he better wash his hand first before he touches anything or anyone with it. Hinata seemed to look more at ease without them having to hold hands, and Hiro… judging by the way he said, "Yuck! Shika-papa!" they were sure he didn't want that hand near either himself or 'Nata-mama'. The drool the little critter was spreading all over Shikamaru's shoulder, however, seemed fine to the boy. Shikamaru swore the stain would stay. Troublesome brat.

Odd though, he always thought that spit would be more sticky and viscous like the little puddle Hiro was making on his shoulder. He shook his head and walked on. He was too preoccupied with his companions to think about insignificant matters like the consistency of spit. Or, he added, the improbability of a spitball, coming from those kids, to hit him directly at the back from an angle directed towards his side…

o-o-o

-o

Profile 3

More Notes:

Operation Divide and Conquer: Successful

Target seems wary but still unsuspicious

Proceed with even more caution

-o

The newspaper Neji held in his hand had a tear on one page right by the edge. It also had a suspicious little hole with a tiny straw poking out of it. His water bottle, he placed on top of the table as he sat outside one of the ramen stands found on the busy street. He was not above spitballs but he was certainly above using spit. It was gross and not proper for a Hyuuga. Hyuugas stand for everything proper, after all.

He smirked victoriously. And though he felt elated at his success, he knew the day was far from over. Judging by the look on Pineapples' face, he needed more delicacy if he ever wanted to end this mission without being discovered.

-o

"Say Aah, Hiro-kun," Hinata mouthed to get the little boy to open his mouth wider.

Hiro opened his mouth and chomped on the spoon playfully. Shikamaru watched them amusedly as he rested his head on his propped elbow.

They sat inside a family restaurant at a table for two with Hinata and Shikamaru facing each other, and little Hiro sitting on a high chair adjacent to them.

When Hinata was about to spoonfeed him again, Hiro crossed his tiny arms over his chest and stubbornly refused by turning his head defiantly away.

Hinata blinked, mildly surprised. "W-what's wrong Hiro-kun?"

Shikamaru raised a brow at the child.

Hiro peeked at them through the corner of his eyes. He glanced around and then stared hard at the family two tables across from them. Hinata and Shikamaru turned their heads slowly at the same direction, dread forming at the pits of their stomachs.

His raised brow rose higher as he observed the occupants of the other table. A middle-aged couple with a tiny toddler, positioned similarly to them. The only difference was that the couple was all… mushy. They shared the same drink through a bendy straw. They held hands while eating. They nuzzled at each other's noses. They even fed each other with the same spoon. By the time he finished observing, he was sure he'd lost his appetite and that his left cheek was twitching uncontrollably. Judging by Hinata's pale face, he knew he wasn't the only one uncomfortable.

"You're not serious…" His voice sounded slightly incredulous. 'Slightly' because he sort off saw it coming. He returned his stare to the stubborn boy and, seeing his defiant eyes, Shikamaru concluded that Hiro was indeed serious. He was about to say something snappy when…

"Mhhm?"… he felt a spoon shoved in his mouth. He glanced at Hinata and was shocked (not to mention a bit disturbed) by the fact that she was smiling sweetly at him. She had her usual blush and her smile, although a bit strained, was no less sweeter.

"Now, now, Shika-kun. You wouldn't want to upset little Hiro-kun now would you?" She said in a singsong voice that, combined with her smile, would have turned lesser men to mush.

Spoon still shoved in his mouth, he glanced towards the boy, whose eyes were beginning to water and lips were already quivering. That is not a good sign. Hiro was never a silent crier. His brain started functioning again and he realized the reason behind Hinata's strange behavior.

"We wouldn't want to draw any more attention s-so…" She did not finish. She shot him a pleading look.

Head still propped on his arm, he conceded and finally swallowed the spoonful. "Right…" He drawled. "Troublesome brat."

He decided that he would compromise with the brat. He would allow being spoonfed (secretly, though, he preferred it as he was lazy) and even drinking from the same glass (although with different straws) but he draws the line at the nuzzling. Hiro seemed satisfied enough as he guided Hinata's hand from alternately feeding him then his 'Shika-papa'. Hinata, though blushing uncontrollably, was just glad they weren't drawing much attention.

-o

Profile 3.5 (The Dirty Diaper)

Additional Notes:

The child is more troublesome than initially thought. To consider possible extermination…

-o

Or not… If he ever wants his cousin to keep talking to him. Perhaps he could exterminate the Pineapple? No… although the situation is…taxing… Pineapple has done nothing inappropriate so Neji decided to let him live… if only barely. He took a deep breath to calm himself. Situations such as these are precisely the reason for his tasking himself to supervise Hinata's interactions with the opposite gender. It was his duty to protect her and make sure that no male (without his consent and approval) would be able to take advantage of any situation with her, intentional or unintentional.

Pretending to read his butchered newspaper, he sat at the table farthest to them, right by a corner so they could not see him. Byakugan activated, he could see them and wanted badly to just go over there and separate the two. The whispering around their table did not help him.

"What a cute little family…"

"They make an odd yet surprisingly cute couple, don't they?"

"What a cute child they have! I can't see the resemblance but …"

"I remember when we first had our date I was probably blushing as hard as her back then… Of course our little baby came after that date when we— "

It took all of his shinobi training and his Hyuuga pride to prevent him from assuming the fetal position and covering his ears not to hear the rest of the last sentence. When he saw the Dirty Diaper take his cousin's hand and put it over the Pineapple's he abruptly stood up and exited the restaurant.

-o

Hinata was pretty sure someone from the kitchen was going to come out and, mistaking it for an overgrown tomato with how red it was at the moment, chop her head off her neck. She lifted her eyes towards Shikamaru and thought he seemed more irritated at Hiro's grin, the slight sputter of his lips (a sign of his muddled thoughts and inability to form coherent words) betrayed his embarrassment to her superior Hyuuga eyes. Hiro had both his little hands pinning Shikamaru's on top of hers and if it weren't for the exultant look in his carefree eyes, both she and Shikamaru would have broken the contact off. Breaking the contact off would seem as a harsh rejection to the little boy. As it was, situations such as these required delicacy. But before she could coax Hiro into letting their hands go, a shadow loomed over their table and she was forced to look up to find a beautiful yet seemingly familiar face.

"Hi! I'm Jeni a new waitress in this restaurant. Your previous server finds himself… unavailable at the moment. I'll be taking his place from now."

Any recognition and association Hinata saw was forcefully crushed the minute she saw Jeni's grin. But it was kept barely alive by the almost invisible steely glint in her brown eyes.

-o


A/N: I know it was mean to cut it like that but Shika's profile will continue up to the next chapter... I wasn't really much of a HinaxShika fan but when I wrote this, I couldn't help but torture Neji...

Voting for the fourth profile is open and so is the one for the main pairing. I do not guarantee that the one with the most votes would win but it does influence my writing. I'm actually more convinced with the reasonings. Quality over quantity and all... This chapter was actually inspired by a particular review...

salote: Yes, it could be foreshadowing but what form? Red herring perhaps? XD

Forgive grammar and spelling mistakes please... On second thought, weed them out and burn them! burn them!