In the last chapter, I was letting out all my glee at these two sets of characters being in the same room, only to be interrupted by the arrival of the plot. Quite rude of the plot to do that, wasn't it? Never fear, for it shall probably be an interesting plot. But I wouldn't take my word for it.
DISCLAIMER: Maybe I would if I had the ability of lucid dreaming, but I can't even do that.
To be perfectly honest, the Pirate Captain had gotten just a bit tired of lying low for the past six months. A good adventure was like a shanty or a Ham Night; liable to get out of control, but still useful for preventing boredom. Of course, he preferred an adventure with minimal threat to life and limb, thank you very much.
This adventure was most certainly not shaping up to be one of those.
One Union Jack-flying boat was next to the Pirate Ship, another was behind it, and redcoats were swarming about the deck. The pirates had been forced from the cabin at the points of several swords, and they were now standing in a bunch on the deck inside a circle of bayonets. All the while, men were searching through everything they could get their hands on. Chests, sacks, barrels - some were even tapping the mast to see if it was hollow. They weren't clapped in chains or hauled off onto the other ship or anything. It was as though they didn't even matter.
Just as the Pirate Captain was beginning to tap his foot impatiently, a stuffy-looking man in a powdered wig stepped into the circle and approached him."Oh," he said with a hint of disgust in his voice. "It's you."
"We haven't plundered anything, if that's what you're after," the captain said, launching into his prepared speech. "Not in a year. We aren't even very good at it - "
The man held up a hand to silence him. "We do not care, Pirate Captain."
"You care enough to take over our ship!"
"Her Majesty the Queen and her advisers have sent us here on a search mission. Something of great value is located at these exact coordinates."
"Tell her we've gone over the whole Polly business and that I'd rather shave my beard than go over it again - "
"Sir! Sir!" A man had just come out of the cabin, with the Doctor and Donna following him. "These two were hiding under the desk."
"Morning," said the Doctor as he pulled out his psychic paper. "Think you might have the wrong ship. Allow me to introduce myself - "
The man in the wig immediately pointed a pistol between his eyes. "Excellent! You have found him!"
"...What?"
"The Doctor is here, men!" he shouted to the others. "Just as they said he would be!"
"What?"
"You, your companion and your TARDIS are to be brought back to London at once!"
"WHAT?"
The pirates winced, and Charles even shuddered a bit. Nice. Knowing. You, spelled Mr. Bobo.
Donna took notice of this. "And why are we in trouble, exactly?" she asked.
"How should I know?" snapped Powdered Wig Man, who then turned on his heel and marched off. "Prepare this vessel for towing," he said to his men. "The pirates will be accompanying us."
"But you said you didn't care what we did!" sputtered the Pirate With A Scarf.
"She still does."
BANG!
Victoria nodded with approval at the bullet hole which was now in the Pirate Captain's insufferably large smile. Aiming her revolver once more, she fired off two more shots at the wanted poster. BANG, BANG! One hit his nose, and the other lodged itself right between his eyes. She was getting ready to blow one of his eyes out when a frantic knocking at the study door broke her concentration. "Enter," she said, letting her voice drip with annoyance.
A young page quickly hopped in one leg. Latched onto the other was a goodly sized King Charles spaniel with an air of wickedness about it. "Y-Your Majesty?" the boy stammered fearfully. "Could you perhaps...?"
"Dash, the servants are not food."
Dash immediately released his victim and went to curl himself around Victoria's feet.
"Now," continued the queen, "do have anything important to say?"
"...You have two visitors, Your Majesty. Oxford and..." He gulped. "...the other one."
"I shall speak with Oxford first. Send him in."
The page hurried away. "And make sure they don't see each other!" Victoria yelled after him before reluctantly putting away her gun. Let's get this over with.
After a few minutes, the doors opened once again. "Good day, Your Majesty."
She tried not to tense up at the site of him. "Good day, bishop."
The new Bishop of Oxford, Victoria had decided, was not a conventional man of the cloth by any means. No conventional man of the cloth went about wearing inky black robes all the time. He was a very old man; he had abnormally pale skin, a face full of wrinkles, a wispy white moustache, bony hands with claw-like fingernails and two beady little dark eyes.
Victoria could count on one hand the number of people whom she found genuinely unsettling, and he made the list.
"You know why am I here," he said, fixing his gaze on her accusingly.
"The ship will be completed," she answered curtly. "And you still have not said why you are opposed to it."
"I am not." He smiled. "Wars are a fine thing for those who win them. My concern is with a different matter entirely."
"Which is?"
"The workers."
"...What about them?"
He began to circle her, ignoring Dash's angry barks. "Ordinary men cannot build with such speed as they have. And why is it that they are only heard at night? Is it true that humans are struck blind by their ugliness?"
Her expression never changed from one of boredom.
"Some are beginning to say," he whispered, "that you have made a pact with Satan in exchange for them."
She stared at him coldly. "Bishop, I have no earthly idea what you are talking about."
Still he continued to glide around her like a jellyfish. "You have fear in your eyes, madam. And if you are innocent, why is there a drop of sweat on your brow?"
That was quite enough. "We have concluded our business, sir!" Victoria said, finally turning on him. "You have my answer, and you are not to come here again."
Dash began to snap at the hem of the bishop's robe, driving him towards the door. Giving her one last glare and the dog a good kick, he swept out of the room in a cold fury.
Victoria whistled to Dash, and he came running back to her side. "I don't like him either, Dashy," she said as she picked the dog up and stroked him.
"Greetings, Queen of England! I bring you favorable reports!"
She looked up and smiled happily at the sight of her other visitor. "Greetings. What news?"
"We predict that the vessel shall be complete in a fortnight!"
"Lovely. You and your soldiers are to ready yourselves for battle as soon as possible."
"With honor. I also bring word that the osmic projector was successful in intercepting the Doctor, and that he has been retrieved! He arrives in London this very night! How soon will you see him?"
"At once. Is he really as dangerous as you say?" she asked excitedly.
"Once, but no longer. Will you be receiving the other prisoners as well?"
"What other prisoners?"
"The pirates that you often speak of."
Victoria grinned. "Bring them in. Bring them all in."
"They shall be taken to the palace as soon as the ship docks. That is all, queen." Her visitor turned and marched out of the room.
Victoria rushed off to give Dash his bath. They both had to start getting ready - this evening would be most eventful.
First, I just want to say that if you've already managed to figure out who the aliens in this thing are, please keep the other readers in mind and do not spoil it. Your suspicions will be confirmed in the next chapter. Thank you.
Second, I have an announcement! I've made a page on TvTropes for The Piratesverse! Mostly because I was bored, but still. If you want to check it out, google "tvtropes the piratesverse" and you'll find it right away.
Well, gotta go!
~ A. Kingsleigh
