Rebecca: Emma and I lied in bed for a few minutes silent wrapped tight in eachothers arms taking in everything that had happened yesterday she looked so hurt afraid and confused. 'This is the 4th time you've almost died Emma' the words echo back in my head remembering the coversation I had heard before opening my eyes. "4 times.. what happened to you.. what kind of mother am I? how could I of let all of this happen to you?!" I say looking into her eyes crying hard again. "I understand how you feel in a way I feel almost the same way, wondering what kind of daughter I am sleeping with a man that was helping frame you. I didn't want to let go of you back in that hallway but the thought of opening myself up to getting myself hurt again by anyone important to me.. We ended up getting drugged not being there to stop him from drugging you made me feel like it was all my fault for letting go of you that none of this would of happened if I had listened to my inner emotions.. It's nether of our faults though mom we didn't know what was going to happen" She said looking back at me.

There was a tone of sadness in her voice deep inside I know she's right, we blaming ourselves for what happened isn't going to help or solve anything she was hysterical all over again. "Shh.. Let it out try to calm down" I said holding her as close as I can trying to ease her pain but not any calmer myself. "We both need to let it out and calm down before we start hyperventalating and die from lack of oxygen, our bloodpressure is still dangerously low probably" She said hugging me even tighter. "Emma I'm here now and I'm not going to leave you again no matter what happens" I say giving her back a gentle rub "I don't want to loose you again mom what if something happens to us what if Thayer finds us?". "Sweetie I'm not about to let anyone seperate us again right now were safe in eachothers arms" I try to reassure her. "I know we'll protect eachother but hes not the only person that wants me dead and right now were not so far off from them if the wrong people find out I'm here I'll probably be dead before anyone would even have the chance to put me back in foster care".

She was shaking I wanted to tell her everything was going to be okay but I after all we've been through I know its not about to be " I'm not going to let you die! nether of is going to.. I don't want to loose you ever again I love you so much sweetie" I say starting to break down. "I love you too mom I'm so sorry" She tries not to completely break down "I'm sorry too.. hey we'll get through this together I promise" I say. "We've gone our own way and are calling it another on a lonely day but we went together" She says and looks up into my eyes kissing me on the cheek. I respond giving her a kiss on the cheek as well hugging her even tighter resting my head against hers I hadn't expected Emma to do that, it means a lot to me that she did. "Oh Emma don't you know Lindsay was the jerk? we both got screwed over by 2 players who only pretended to love us when they were playing.. I think we should look out for the rain and thunder it might bring a crystal vision" I said trying to cheer her up she laughed slightly it was the first time I had seen her smile she looked so precious.

"Of course I know Lindsay was a jerk! I guess we're 2 women taken by the wind maybe if we get really lucky we'll eventually win just don't let the chain break or go tracking ghosts through the floor" She cracks a wide grin. "I think your the angel Emma" I smile a little "I think we've probably both been listing to enough Fleetwood Mac to make someones head spin" She jokes. "How about some Gateful Dead then?" I joke back "I guess we have the same taste in music.. Oh mom you certianly know how to make me feel better" she gives me a squeeze. " Don't tell me your favorite movie is also 'the jerk' and you grew up watching 'I dream of jeannie'" I say laughing. "You got me there I'm not much into Steve Martin but that movie was plain halarious.."

"I used to watch Jeannie all the time sometimes I used to imagine myself inside her bottle when the beatings from my foster parents got bad the 5th home I was in the woman bashed my head in so bad I ended up stumbling outside passed out on a random street corner a cop found me lying there when I woke up in the hospital they said I would of died from blood loss if it had been 20 minutes later" She said the smile gone from her face tears forming again. "Do you want to talk about the other 2 sweetie?" I didn't want to get her hysterical again but we're going to have to talk about it eventually. "The 2nd time was in my 3rd foster home I was about 8 the woman was running a meth lab she tried to cook more after injesting way to much of it herself she had tied me up in the cellar'.

'The house ended up blowing up, somehow the cellar got filled up with the smoke from the fire I was down there screaming fortuanitly one of the fireman heard me and managed to break the door open when they found me I was again passed out. I had been removed from the first home because I never got any new clothing and showed up to daycare in holy sneakers and rags. When I ended up passing out they asked if I knew why I told them it was probably because I hadn't gotten any food in 4 days my caseworker showed up and got my black garbage bag of stuff from the house I hadn't unpacked my stuff. the 2nd home wasn't any better the woman tied me up for days at a time and had a husband who would come home drunk and hold a gun up to my head threating to shoot me I got out of that home because I was truent from school most of the time when a cop came looking for me they found me tied up in the basement and called my caseworker to find another home for me '.

'I met Leisle in my 3rd home when I had started 2nd grade she was in my class we became best friends that day, I hadn't gone to 1st grade but they let me skip over it because of my age and knowledge. I didn't mind the 4th home so much after the past 3 but the woman was almost never home 3 later the woman didn't show up for over a week Leisles mom called the cops and reported it her mom took me in for a few days because my new case manager had a big load and couldn't place me right away her mom would of let me stay but she was working to much. The 5th home I was beaten constantly and was removed when a guidance counselor saw how bruised up I was. About a week before I left to switch places with Sutton in my 6th foster home my foster brother was always trying to assault me, I ended up with a bit of a record defending myself from him, he got drunk and tried to rape me I had managed to get away but when he sobered up he beat me bloody that was the 4th time I almost died',

'He had shown up a few times in Arizona demanding that I give him jewlery to sell when I refused to he tried to shoot me and missed he only had 1 bullet I told him that I'd give him something if he would leave me alone so I gave him a cheap peice of my own. He had ended up in juvi I had gotten a letter from him saying that if he ever found me again he'd make his foster mother hold me down while he raped me slashed my body up and feed me to his dog while I was still alive. Les called me about 3 weeks ago and said he was out of juvi that he had called her up threating to come after me if he found a way to pick the lock on his ankle monitior . I'm afraid of being back here if he finds out he'll try to come after me" she said shaking I rocked her back and forth gently trying to ease her fear.

Everything she just told me made me feel double horrible inside but the last part with what her foster brother had threatened to do terrified me half do death just as much as what Thayer has said and done. I feel sick to my stomach just thinking about it she was right it really is dangerous for her to be back here. "I'm so sorry Emma I wish you hadn't of gone through that if I could go back and take back giving you and sutton up for adoption I would but theres no turning back time. You don't deserve what happened to you.. Alec had called me after the 1st fire and said that they couldn't find any trace of you I never stopped trying to find you I wanted you more than anything, Sutton was the one who told me that you had been in foster care all that time. If I had known where you were I would of found a way to get you out of the system even if it had meant running away with you.'

'You've always been wanted and loved your my daughter, From now on you'll always come first in my life as scary as things are right now at least we've got eachother and thats one thing thats not going to change. Never in the rest of my life will I ever allow anyone to hurt you like that if I catch your ex foster brother anywhere near you I'll kick him so hard in the balls he won't know left from right. I'm not going to let him do that to you, sweetie your not going to loose me I won't leave you as long I'm here I won't let you die no ones going to violate you again as long as we stick together. None of this is easy on me ether I'm scared for both of our lives but we'll pull through this. Whats important right now is that we're both safe and together, time will prove I'm innocent and when it does we can go back to Arizona if we want to. Theres one big problem though I only have 200 dollars cash on me and withdrawing from any bank account/atm will get us caught."

Money is important under the circumstances we won't last long on the run without it and Emma's right staying here for more than a few days is a bad idea. "Don't waste the money you have on a casino theres a chance you'll loose it I only have 50 dollars on me but under the circumstances I know how to get us more, leave it to me I'll handle it". "How do you plan on getting more money? If its anything dangerous forget it". "Mom I can handle this we need money and I'll make a lot of it fast.. Though I've never done anything like this before it's legal in Vegas and will get us enough to last for a little bit so I'll do it". Suddenly I felt sick to my stomach I know what shes thinking "Emma I would never want or ask you to do that! I love you too much to ever let you do something like that, do you know how dangerous selling your body out is?". "I'm willing to do this because I love you and we need cash to survive out on the run.. You didn't ask me to do this. try not to worry about the dangers then.. it's late the time is good to hit the streets I should get going I'll be back around 6 because Leisle gets up at 6:15". She tried to let go of me but before she could I pulled her as close as I could crying hard again "Please sweetie don't do that to yourself I don't want anything more bad to happen to you or loose you ever.. I'm not about to let go of you."