Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect

Mass Fiction 2: Extended Cut

Episode 3: Here If You Need Me

He had no idea how long he had been standing in front of the war memorial. A few minutes, a few hours, time it seemed had lost all meaning as he stared at the newest name just recently added.

Mordin Solus

They had succeeded. The genophage had been cured, the Krogan pledging their support to the Turians and in return the Turians pledging their support for Earth. A mission accomplished with only one team member lost. A job well done.

"A job well done," Shepard bitterly thought.

A three fingered hand on his shoulder shook Shepard from his thoughts as he turned to see what he supposed was a concerned look on his friends face.

"You okay Shepard," Garrus asked looking over the memorial.

"No."

"Come on," Garrus said motioning to the Starboard Observatory, "let's talk."

Reluctantly, Shepard followed the Turian as they made their way from the prying eyes of the crew.

"You look like hell Shepard," Garrus said after the doors had closed.

"No worse than you usually do," Shepard replied smirking slightly.

"I took an explosive round to the face, what's your excuse?"

"I got spaced?"

"Come on Shepard, talk to me. You don't look like you've had a decent night's sleep in ages. You need to rest or you'll burn yourself out."

"I can't afford to rest Garrus," Shepard grumbled rubbing the bridge of his nose, "the Reaper's don't rest and they won't stop. Every second I waste, tens of thousands die."

"We knew we wouldn't be able to save everyone when the Reaper's showed up. We're soldiers, we know the odds and we know the realities of war," Garrus said leaning against the wall, "so what is it that is really bothering you?"

Shepard looked as if he was about to argue, before a small smile crept onto his face.

"Can't get anything past you huh old buddy," Shepard said shaking his head.

"Well, you work as an investigator long enough you know when someone's trying to avoid an issue," Garrus chuckled, "so tell your friend what's wrong. Either that or I could hunt down Kelly to sit with you for a session or two."

"No, I think you'll do just fine Garrus," Shepard said cringing slightly at the thought of Chamber's prodding as Garrus looked on expectantly.

"Like you said, we're soldiers. I've been a soldier for most of my life. Hell, I've been around the Alliance for my entire life either with my parents or on my own," Shepard said rubbing the back of his neck. "I see the reports coming in, the casualty lists, the fleets lost, the cities lost. Those are things that I can rationalize away. It's terrible to think that way, but I learned a long time ago that you either do that or you go crazy."

"So what changed?"

"I saw they had added Mordin's name to the memorial. Then I saw all the empty spaces below his. It…it made me think of who else I might lose when all is said and done," Shepard admitted quietly.

"There was always a chance we might lose some friends down the road. We're not invincible Shepard…except for maybe Grunt," Garrus added as an afterthought.

"I know that too, but, maybe I didn't want to believe it," Shepard sighed. "When we hit the Collector's, that was supposed to be a suicide mission. Nobody thought we were coming back from that. But we did, all of us, without a scratch."

"What can I say Shepard? We had some damn fine people on that team and you leading us."

"Maybe that's just it. Call it arrogance, call it hubris, whatever. I thought that if we had survived that, then we could survive anything. We lost Mordin, we nearly lost Ash and this is only the beginning. Who's next? You, Liara,…Tali."

"I can speak for myself when I say that you won't get rid of me that easily Shepard," Garrus said smirking. "As for Liara, she's tough and from what you told me a quarter Krogan. And the last I heard they were still producing shotguns so I think Tali will be okay."

Despite himself Shepard couldn't hold back a laugh giving his Turian buddy a friendly shot in the arm.

"Thanks Garrus, I needed that."

"Anytime Shepard, just come see me first if you ever decide to get all gloomy on us."

Garrus stepped out leaving Shepard to gaze out into the stars. He was about to head out when his omni-tool beep with a message…from Mordin Solus.

Opening the file, Shepard was greeted by the holographic image of the doctor who could be seen clearing his throat before speaking.

"Hello Shepard," the image said nodding with his greeting. "If you are seeing this then that means I am dead. Either dead or incapacitated to prevent the delivery of this message, but odds are am most likely dead. Either way, I wanted to speak to you if I am unable during the course of our mission. Hope that we succeeded, otherwise death seems rather…*sniff*… pointless."

"Thank you Shepard. You helped me to see the bigger picture, to see the lives beyond the data. I was lost, trying to help others as a penance, trying to alleviate the guilt. Redemption, a concept I came across often in studying human religion. A comforting idea…the lake of fire and torment not so much."

"You were a good friend and a good man. I was proud of what we accomplished against the Collectors, will be proud posthumously of what we accomplish on Tuchanka. I will miss our talks, not literally of course, will be dead, but the sentiment is the same."

"Take care of yourself Shepard. Am unsure on your views of an afterlife, but perhaps we will meet again. Until then," the image said pointing to his head, "here if you need me."

The hologram blink out, leaving Shepard alone once again, a sad smile on his face and tears in his eyes.

"Goodbye Mordin. It was an honor."

Mordin's death was a moment where the reality that I wasn't going to be able to save everyone hit home. I had done it in ME2 that I really did think I had a shot. That I could do the right things and say the right things to make it happen. I must have sat in silence for fifteen minutes before I could start playing again after that sequence. If there is somebody you want to see just leave a review and a request and I'll try to make it happen. Nobody is too insignificant to suggest. Until next time read and review people.