I don't, and never will, own Naruto. However, if Kishimoto ever goes missing, and ownership of Naruto ever changes to a thin, sickly-looking, tall white guy with scruffy red beard, you know whodunnit.

Kakashi Hatake had made Jounin at age 12 for a reason. Skill, speed, mental fortitude, and an unshakeable desire to see anything he started through to the finish. In his 22 years as a ninja, he had grown from a powerful - but emotionally stunted - shinobi, eventually becoming an unstoppable force, willing and able to do whatever it took to see his mission through and keep his comrades safe.

As a result of his decades of training and experience, Kakashi was very, very rarely surprised by anything. He had been ambushed by dozens of Iwa shinobi three years before, not even blinking at the sudden assault on his person and team - something that led to his illusion of 'seeing the future.' He had walked in on the Hokage reading Icha Icha before - not surprised. There was even the one time when he was twelve that he had walked in on his Sensei being bound by Uzumaki Kushina to a tree with her chains. He was disturbed, sure, but didn't show any outward sign of surprise.

However, today, he was surprised. Seeing your idol, teacher and surrogate father apparently rise from the dead would do that to you. But Kakashi was still a shinobi of Konoha, so he cut straight to the chase, as any good ninja would.

"How... Wha... Huh?"

Or... maybe not.

"A very elegant assessment of the situation, Kakashi." His sensei said, deadpan. "Does this mean you aren't glad to see me?"

Kakashi's visible eye was wide open, blinking rapidly as he looked up and down the ghost before him. Minato was exactly as he remembered him - Blue shirt, green vest, blonde hair and delicate, almost feminine features.

"Yes! I mean, N-no, Namikaze-Sensei. I mean, Hokage-sama. I mean, uhm... Maybe?" He stuttered out, still obviously confused. Granted, he wasn't the only one - Jiraiya was standing in the corner, jaw on the floor. Naruto and the Hokage were the only ones not surprised. They were happy - ecstatic in Naruto's case - to see the man, but they had expected and planned for this, and were watching the two other men with blatant humor.

Minato nodded, his face still mostly emotionless, only a glint in his eye betraying his humor at the situation. "A large selection of answers to chose from, Kakashi. Never let it be said that you didn't cover a topic thoroughly." Kakashi didn't respond, his mouth still gaping like a fish under his mask.

"M...Minato?" The blonde man turned, looking towards the white-haired man in the corner. "Is... is it really you?" Jiraiya reached out a hand slowly, but didn't move to touch the apparition.

Minato cocked his head slightly, studying the Sannin before him. He recognized his teacher, obviously - he was quite distinctive in his appearance. How does one miss someone with hair that huge? Finally Minato nodded, then opened his mouth to speak.

"You got fat."

Every person in the room face-faulted at that. "How dare you speak to your elders as such!" Jiraiya said, pulling himself off of the floor. "I am a legendary Sannin, and I deserve to be respected as such! For I am the magnificent, the gallant, the incredibly handsome and fearsomely strong Jiraiya!" He struck a pose, and somehow a breeze picked up in the room, causing his long, white hair to flow majestically. Everyone in the room-sweatdropped, but not Minato.

Minato chuckled, then laughed, a full, warm, throaty sound. "Kami, I missed you." Each member of the meeting just watched, three of them in awe. Only one person had ever been able to laugh like that that they had ever known. If they had had any doubt as to who they were speaking to before, it was gone now.

The fourth person, and the youngest of the meeting, was to tired of watching the events. He had waited for five years for this, after all.

"Tou-san!" Minato stumbled a bit as a ball of blonde hair and blue eyes tackled him in a hug. Minato smiled, patting the boy on the head. Even the two shocked individuals had to smile as the blonde boy buried his face in his father's shirt, gripping on as if his life depended on it. Minato looked down, getting Naruto's signature closed-eye smile and grin as his reward. He also noticed something else, however...

"Naruto... what are you wearing?"

Everyone in the room - sans the blonde genin - shivered a little at the cold demeanor barely hidden behind his voice. The blonde boy was completely oblivious, however, and tugged at the fabric as he looked down.

"It's my ninja jumpsuit!" Minato visibly flinched. "It's super comfy and it's got all these pockets and stuff. And it's orange, too! Orange is awesome, Dattebayo!" Minato flinched again. Of course, those would be a few of the things Kushina passed on to their son... A lack of fashion sense, extreme and needless enthusiasm, and a horrendous verbal tick. Naruto continued on. "I mean, I was gonna get this super awesome trench coat and boots and stuff, but it was too expensive..." He tapered off into a mumble.

Minato's eye twitched, and his hands flexed by his sides. His voice remained icy calm though. "I thought that the Hokage was responsible for paying a stipend to all orphaned children and academy students? That should be more than enough to play for... proper clothes." Naruto mumbled something unintelligible, as even he managed to catch ahold of his father's bad mood. "I'm sorry, what was that?"

"Everything's too expensive. I mean, I double-check the prices before I go to the counter, and always make sure I have enough money, but then they tell me that it's either an understocked item - whatever that means - or that taxes have increased." Naruto rubbed the back of his neck, sheepishly looking up at his father. "I mean, by now I know that they're only doing it because of the Kyuubi -" at this, the sound of Jiraiya's and Kakashi's jaws hitting the floor could be heard. Not that they had that much farther to fall anyways. "- But it's still really hard to buy much of anything really. Food, clothes - just paying rent takes up half my stipend. And whenever I try to protest they kick me out of the store, sometimes even ban me."

"You're paying rent?" Sarutobi asked, his voice cold. Not nearly as cold as Minato's, but still icy nonetheless.

Naruto, confused - and slightly scared at the expressions of the three men in the room(Kakashi was also quite angry, but he couldn't tell from the third of his face that was visible) - looked around. "Yeah..? The landlord told me that I had to. But he still won't fix the water heater or the furnace. It's not my fault there's not enough people in the building to justify fixing it." The sound of wood splintering was heard, and Naruto looked over to see that Sarutobi had clenched his fists so hard that his desk had broken under his hands.

Naruto looked back and forth at the four men, feeling the palpable killing intent in the air. "Did... Did I do something wrong?" He released his father, shrinking back, only to have the taller blonde man grab him in a death grip, squeezing him to his side.

"Why... Why don't you got change into something that's... not a giant glowing prison uniform." Minato forced out from between clenched teeth. "We have some things to talk about that you can't hear yet. Training and stuff, ok?" He said, smiling down at his son.

Naruto may have been oblivious, but he could tell that there would be little, if any, talk of 'training.' He nodded slowly, hugging his father tightly, before stepping to the door. "Will.. will you be here when I get back?" He asked softly, and Minato nodded.

"I made sure that the second fragment of my soul would be the largest, so I've got another two and a half hours or so." An expression of realization dawned on Jiraiya's face, and Sarutobi made a few hand signals. A masked, but clearly female ANBU materialized from the roof, startling no one but Naruto. His mask was painted in the image of a hawk, but other than that he had the standard ANBU uniform.

"Hawk here will help you pick out something to wear that is... more fitting for a shinobi. Though, I do have to question the skill of my employees if they cannot catch a twelve year old wearing bright orange after he performs a prank." Hawk shivered slightly, feeling the gaze of the Hokage on her. "She will also ensure that you are allowed into whatever store you want, and that you are paid properly. Anyone who refuses will be brought here immediately." With that said, the Hokage handed a small wad of ryo to the boy, who stuffed it into Gama-chan. The white-haired Sannin grinned when he saw the wallet, but otherwise didn't change from his cold demeanor.

Naruto took one last glance around the room, and all the men forced smiles out at him. He walked two steps towards the door, but then turned around and tackle-hugged his father again.

"You better be here when I get back or I'll spill ramen on you again." Minato chuckled, then ruffled his son's hair again.

"I promise. Hokage's honor." Naruto smiled, then walked out the door, ANBU escort closing the door as they left.

For a moment, all in the room was silent after the latch clicked closed. Jiraiya and Kakashi were torn, both bursting with questions, but able to tell that the two Hokage's - former and current - were holding a silent communication with their eyes.

Finally, Minato closed his eyes and sighed, loud and deeply. "They will die." He said, and Sarutobi shook his head.

"No." Minato glared at him, but the elderly man just smirked. "They will suffer. Then they will ask to die, and we will not let them." Minato smiled, a grin that resembled that of a shark. "I think Ibiki might be able to figure out why they are actively sabotaging the future of an innocent child, hm?"

Jiraiya and Kakashi shuddered as their two superiors plotted the destruction of their 'loyal subjects.' Jiraiya was the first to recover. "You crazy bastard. You sealed parts of your soul into your notebook. Spitting in the Shinigami's eye, eh?"

Minato smiled, then stretched out his arms, hugging his sensei and friend deeply. "Sarutobi called me the same thing, you know." He clasped Jiraiya's shoulders, holding him at arms length. "God, I missed you. Twelve years in a book with no one to talk to makes conversation kind of lacking." Jiraiya, still in a state of semi-shock, just smiled.

"You're going to have to explain to me how exactly you managed to preserve yourself in a book for all these years. Splitting a section of your soul large enough to retain sentient thought, and then being able to make a fully functional chakra projection... And I thought that the Hiraishin was the most advanced piece of fuuinjutsu I'd ever seen." Jiraiya was going to continue, but Minato shook his head.

"I will never teach anyone how to split their soul like I have." He raised a hand, cutting off the Sannin's exclaimation. "You were right when you said I was spitting in the shinigami's eye." He sighed deeply, looking up. "There is an afterlife of some sort, Jiraiya. More along the lines of reincarnation than anything else, but still. And I'm not allowed in." He raised three fingers on his hand. "I put three sections of my soul into this book. One was used up when Naruto first found the book." he ticked one finger down. "The second is being used today." The last finger went down, and he shook his head grimly. "Once the third one is used... Well, no more Minato."

Jiraiya frowned. "But... Don't you still die anyways? I mean, basically all you're doing is saving bits of yourself for later..." He trailed off as Minato gave him a sad smile.

"Do you know what happens when you anger a god? Not a strong shinobi, or even something with the power of the Kyuubi. Someone or something with the power to rewrite your very existence in a moment, someone who can, and does, treat you as if you were worth no more to them than a single ant in their eyes." His eyes grew haunted, and his fist clenched by his side.

"Suffice to say, it's not pretty." The office was quiet for a moment, but then Minato looked up and clapped his hands once. He looked to his former student, a smile blazing on his face, as if the last conversation hadn't been extremely disturbing or depressing in the slightest.

"Kakashi! Done trying to put your brain back together?" The silver haired man just nodded, slowly. "Good! Because you are now responsible for the life of my son, and I expect you to take damn good care of him, mental trauma be damned. You're a ninja, kid. Get used to it."

Kakashi huffed. "Well then. Despite the obvious fact that you are breaking the very laws of the universe in order to talk to us and that I would like to do nothing more than become a dribbling pile of gorgeous silver hair and confusion, I assume you have a reason for sending Naruto out of the room?"

Minato huffed. "Well, getting rid of that orange monstosity he called clothing was a pretty big reason. But, there are a few key factors that you need to know about Naruto in order to train him properly." Kakashi nodded, slowly.

"I originally thought that he had been getting training from Jiraiya-san, when I saw the complex nature of some of the seals he was using during the bell test." He rubbed his chin slowly, not noticing the fond smile Minato gave him. "But it makes sense, seeing as you've probably been teaching him since he was, what, seven?" His former sensei nodded.

"Naruto is probably a level six, borderline seven seal master at this point in time. I have no doubt that this is partially due to his Uzumaki heritage. He'll probably become a full seal master by age fifteen with my and Jiraiya's help, not to mention the books me and Kushina left behind for him." Minato snapped his fingers, looking to Sarutobi.

"Speaking of that, one of the main things I wanted to talk about for this session. First things first, I think Naruto is experienced enough to posses Kushina's storage book." The wrinkled man nodded slowly, then moved to a painting on the wall - one, ironically enough, of the Fourth Hokage himself. He moved it to the side, then cut his thumb and activated the seal on it. Then another seal, and another, then three locks and a double layered vault combination. Then another seal, just for good measure.

He noticed the people in the room staring at him in disbelief, and shrugged his shoulders. "An academy student managed to single-handedly break into this vault two days ago. I figured it might be wise to increase the security a wee bit." He didn't need to mention who said academy student was, nor the fact that he obviously had let the boy take the Forrbiden scroll in order to find out why he was taking it.

Honestly, the 'God of Shinobi' defeated by a pretty girl? Or boy dressed as one? Or... whatever. Distracted? Yes, of course. Defeated? No way.

He opened the final security measures - two seals and a high level exploding tag that required a specific sequence of chakra bursts to disarm - and opened the vault that held some of the most important items in Konoha. Among them was the Forbidden scroll, a small seal that held the true forbidden scroll on the back of the wall(1), Kushina's chain-bound journal - which he promptly grabbed - three Hiraishin kunai, and a few suspiciously orange books.

Closing the vault - and all of its security measures in the process - he turned back to Minato with the heavy book in his hands, and gave it to the man. Minato looked down at it fondly, sighing. Twenty years of my wife's ambition, and this is all that remains. He sent a small burst of chakra to to lock, and the chains fell away from the lock, before fading into yellow dust-like chakra that faded into the air. He flipped open the first page, and smiled.

"Please don't tell me that Kushina will be joining us shortly." Jiraiya deadpanned. He loved that woman, he really did. But boy did she ever have it out for perverts. Despite the lesser known fact that she was, buried under that red hair and malicious chain-wielding, as pervert herself.

Minato shook his head, still smiling. "Not at all. This journal was her life's work, something that her mother gave to her when Uzu was collapsing. She spent damn near every moment of her free time working on this." He flipped another page, then sighed again. "This is all that remains of the Uzumaki's greatest work - the entirety of each and every single bit of Fuuinjutsu that her clan had ever created, sealed into this nigh-impenetrable storage journal."

The journal itself really was a work of genius. It didn't look like much. each page had only ten seals on it, each with a Kanji for a number from one to ten, and then the simple kanji for 'Forbidden' after that. At the top of the page would be two or three words, explaining only what was stored in that page. To anyone with no Uzumaki heritage, or any who had not performed the Uzumaki marriage cerimony, the book would simply remain just that - a book. But put a little of the right blood on your finger, touch it to the seal you wanted, and...

Minato did just that, pressing his finger to the seal labeled 'one.' The top of the page read 'Chakra Manipulation' and nothing else. There was a small 'poof' sound and suddenly a large cloud of smoke appeared, obscuring the book from his vision. When it cleared, however, everything was different.

The book he now held in his hands was a vibrant yellow, and on the cover it read 'Chakra Manipulation seals and seal theory, levels zero to lower one.' The book was now four times the size as well, and had easily over three thousand pages. Jiraiya nearly salivated looking at it. That much information, theory and sealing, all dedicated to the lowest level of chakra manipulation Fuuinjutus?

Sarutobi was the first to speak, watching as Minato closed the book and sent a small pulse of his chakra into it, reverting it back to its smaller, brown-colored state. The chains and lock reappeared, and minato looked up, still smiling.

"So. Uhm. You seem to hold what is quite possibly the most valuable and incredibly detailed book on Fuuinjutsu to ever exist. And... you want to give it to a twelve year old.?"

Minato nodded. "Yep."

The Hokage looked up, meeting Jiraiya's eyes, then Kakashi's, then back to Minato.

"I see no problem with this." the other three murmered their agreement. "However, I truly hope that you can dissuade him from some of the more, ah, volatile sections of the book." Kakashi paled, thinking of the village's resident prankster, only with the ability to create his own custom exploding tags.

The horror I have seen...

Minato, oblivious to his student's inner turmoil, placed the journal back on Sarutobi's desk. "Now. Second and last important thing before I talk to Kakashi about a training plan." He sighed deeply, turning to the Hokage yet again.

"I want you to give him the Namikaze estate."

For a moment, the people in the room were quiet. The Saturobi rubbed his inner ear with his pinky, as if cleaning it. "Sorry, what? for a moment I thought I heard you say you wanted him to have the Namikaze estate."

Minato rolled his eyes. "I did. You aren't hearing things in your Senility, old man. I want my son to inherit his rightful home - not that dump of a place you call an apartment." Sarutobi sat down behind his desk, rubbing his temples, and sighed.

"Do you plan on revealing his heritage?" Minato startled, shook his head.

"Of course not. Do you realize how much danger that would put him in?" Sarutobi nodded.

"Of course I do. But do you realize how much danger not revealing it would put him in?" Minato - and the other two men, shook their heads, confused. "Imagine it this way. You are a group of about three thousand angry citizens in the village. You have the combined IQ of a jar of mayonnaise. Your greatest hero sacrificed himself to stop a demon, the very demon that killed most of your family and loved ones. Suddenly the person you believe to be that demon - regardless of how stupid the idea is, how infantile it is to take out your anger on someone who was a newborn baby at the time of said sacrifice, or what common logic dictates - suddenly, for no real good reason, the demon moves into the house of your hero, and now officially owns the legacy that your greatest hero left behind." Sarutobi looked up, face screwed into a scowl.

"Am I making a point here or do I have to keep going?"

The other three men, frowned, and it was clear that each was thinking. Jiraiya raised a hand, as if he had had an idea, but then stopped and frowned again. Finally, Minato sighed. "You've made your point quite clear, Sarutobi. But... Naruto is a ninja of the leaf now. As such, he is under your protection from any civilians that mean him harm. I still believe that telling the world that I am his father will have far greater consequences than him simply changing addresses."

Sarutobi raised an eyebrow. "I think you severely underestimate just how much the village hates the Kyuubi, and how much damage 'changing addresses' could cause." He then sighed. "And while I admit that Naruto should be protected from most civilians, the Civilian section of the council is rather, well, adamant about how issues regarding the boy are dealt with."

Now it was Minato's turn to raise an eyebrow - as well as Jiraiya's. He didn't really spend much time dealing with the council, after all. Sarutobi continued, grimacing. "Shortly after the Kyuubi attack, the remaining members of the council - seven of the fifteen had been killed - made a rapid grab for power. They used the excuse that there was no current acting Hokage to turn themselves into a dictatorship for two days until my official re-inauguration." He clenched his fists, pounding the desk. The other men flinched, startled.

"The bastards managed to pass about a dozen laws and protect them under three miles of bullshit and loopholes. The speed at which they did this makes me think that they were... not exactly expecting, but at least prepared for a major event like that to happen. A particular bandaged old man brings himself to mind." All four men mentally cursed the blackhole of bureaucracy and bullshittery that was Danzo.

"One of these laws - and one of the ones that managed to get the whole damn thing passed - was that all matters pertaining to anything related to the Kyuubi and its further handling were to include the Civilian council. Something about how the effects the Kyuubi could have affected the entire villiage, or some such bullshit." He sighed deeply, reaching into his drawer and pulling out his pipe. As he stuffed the tobacco into it and lighted it, he continued talking. "They wrapped all the laws they made in those three days in some pretty package and called a city-wide vote on it, and it passed. Therefor, I cannot interfere with it." Taking a long drag on his pipe, he grimaced again. "Manipulation of mob mentality at it's finest."

Minato sighed deeply. "Fucking politics. Give me a kunai and a dozen S-rank missing nin to fight any day, and I'll gladly go into battle with a smile. Stick me in a room with three pencil pushers, and I'll be tempted to ram said kunai in my eye within the hour."

Jiraiya chuckled. "And people wonder why I leave the village for so much time. I can see why Tsunde-hime likes the road so much."

Sarutobi gave his student a pained grin, then looked around the room. The last loyal remnants of Konoha's greatest team, shattered and emotionally ruined; the ghost of a hero, whose memory had been twisted; the son of the White fang, and once one of Konoha's most promising ninja, left to bury himself under habits of his teammates to hide how broken he was.

And an old, dried-up 'God of Shinobi.' "How the mighty have fallen." he whispered under his breath. "You know, I'm half-tempted on a daily basis to just slaughter the whole damn council, light this office on fire - fucking paperwork - and just find a nice tree in the woods to hole up in. Politics and time, a Shinobi's worst enemy."

Kakashi cleared his throat. "I say that we should let Naruto move into the estates, but not particularly tell anyone about it." The other three men looked at him, and for a moment he realized how over-ranked he was. A single washed-out ANBU captain, giving advice to two Hokage's and one of the Sannin? Nevertheless, he continued on.

"I mean, it's a Shinobi clan base, so there have to be a few secret entrances. So long as he doesn't do anything to the outside of the building, no civilians will know. Hell, we can put a Genjutsu or a seal on the estate so it looks just the same. And if any Shinobi ask, just tell them and label it an A-rank secret. Nothing to complex. Naruto's heritage still remains secret, he gets the house, and no one knows. Win-Win." The other men looked at each other, then back to him.

"You went and grew up on me, Kakashi. It's... kinda terrifying, to be honest." Minato said, deadpan, and the other three in the room sweatdropped. He held his hand to the floor, at about waist height. "I remember when you were this tall, and all super serious all the time with a chip the size of a council member's ego on your shoulder." He faked a sniff, and wiped a non-existent tear from his eye. "My baby genin, all grown up."

"Righhhht... Anyways. I think that is a great idea Kakashi. It should give Naruto time to adjust to his new home without the council bothering him. And, if need be, I have a few defensive seals we can throw down around the property..." Jiraiya chuckled, rubbing his hands together like a mad genius. "After all, Konoha shinobi are allowed to use any means necessary to defend their properties, are they not?"

Minato smiled. "Well, I think that solves that...and we can burn the old apartment down! Once we deal with the landlord, that is." His grin when he mentioned property damage freaked the hell out of the other men. "Tell people he moved, but refuse to tell them where for his safety. And if the Council asks, you can say it's 'shinobi business' because he moved to a clan ground! That'll send them on a wild goose chase through all the other clans to find out who took him in."

"Well, now that that order of business is finished, the third and final thing. Kakashi. My son is on his way back as we speak, but this shouldn't take too long." The Jounin stood up straight, meeting his sensei's eyes with his own. "You are Naruto's Jounin-sensei, and as such, you have a responsibility to him, to the Hokage, to the village, and to yourself to train him to the best of your ability. As you now know, I've been training him in an... indirect manner for the past five years."

"If I were to rank him at this point in time, I'd probably give him... Low Chunin, and that's only if I were being generous with his skills." He sighed. "There's only so much you can learn from a book, and Naruto has never been a book learner. He's more of a hands-on type of person. That being said, he has learned a tremendous amount so far... but... in respect to what most of the children from clans have learned, that's not all that much. In all honesty, if you were to take away his skill in Fuuinjutsu - which, to be honest, is mostly useless in a full battle - he could barely scrape by as a Genin."

"So... basically he knows how to use Fuuinjutsu, but he's a normal kid otherwise?"

"Well..." Minato sighed again. "He knows basic chakra control exercises - tree walking, water walking, and leaf balancing, as well as basic chakra enhancement of his body - although that's basically by instinct. But even those few things took a tremendous time to learn. He just has so much Chakra, and so little control, and I can't see what he's doing to tell him what's wrong... It's frustrating. I know that he can go far. So very, very, very far." Kakashi nodded. After all, he was the son of the Yondaime Hokage.

"Push him to his very limits and beyond, Kakashi. He's an unstoppable juggernaut when it comes to training. Nigh-unlimited Chakra, stubborn as a mule, and a massive healing factor from the fox. Combine that with the fact that he's willing to do damn near whatever it takes to make the villiage see him for who is really is, and..." Minato smiled. "Perfect student."

The other three men nodded. "Granted, he's still a complete idiot." The three men went from nodding to the floor as they face faulted. "What? It's true. He's smart, not doubt about that. he's got that brand of creative genius that makes a seal master truly great. But..." He sweatdropped. "His favorite Jutsu, and the one he's most proud of, is when he turns himself into a naked girl and defeats his enemy via... nosebleed. Kind of an idiot. Nothing that can't be beaten out of him with a few missions and a bit of reality."

Kakashi nodded again, and Minato reached out and put his hand on the shorter mans shoulder. "I know that you'll try your best. But rest assured, Kakashi." His eyes narrowed into slits, and his smile turned into a menacing grin. "If you let him get hurt, the third and final time I come out of this book is to show you why exactly Iwa is still terrified of a dead man." Kakashi gulped.

There came a knock from the door, and all four men turned towards it. A masked ANBU - this one in the shape of a weasel - melted out of the shadows and went to open it, hand on his ninjato. Cracking the door open for a second, he then relaxed and opened it up fully, letting Hawk in, followed by a blonde-haired and blue-eyed boy. The four(seven, counting the hidden ANBU) men looked at him in surprise, and Naruto embarrassedly tugged on his new clothes.

The Hokage was the first to speak. "Well. That's certainly a change."

Chapter 3 done. Sorry it took so long. But I have a very good reason.

My typing style is a more advanced version of the 'Hunt-and-peck' that most old people used. Combined with a half-year of mostly forgotten typing classes I took in fifth grade, I use a technique I like to call the 'six finger shuffle.' This means I use, as implied, my index, middle and ring fingers on both hands. The right index finger usually takes up most of the work, and the other four pick up the slack.

Guess which finger I broke two weeks ago?

Sorry if it's a bit of a cliffy, but this seemed like the best place to cut off. No review responses this time, unfortunately. Partially because I didn't get all that many worth responding to(Hint, hint.), but mostly because I'm lazy.

I will answer and put out a couple things you should know, however.

NARUTO WILL NOT FUCK THE KYUUBI. Our fox will remain male, he will remain an uncooperative asshole(mostly), and he will not be taking a human form. This leads nicely into the next section, which is

NARUTO WILL NOT FUCK EVERYTHING WITH TITS. Thats right. Not a Harem fic. I mean seriously, people. yeah, there are a ton of hot girls in the Anime - its an anime. But just because you can't choose which big titted bimbo to wank off to doesn't mean that your fanfiction character needs to bang em all for you.

This will be a single pairing fiction. I have yet to decide exactly on who Naruto's love will be, but I am leaning heavily towards Tenten or Hinata. Hinata because, well, Hinata - literally exactly who Naruto ends up with in the Manga. (I did the research.) Tenten because she's awesome and I love her.

Naruto's fighting style will revolve heavily around fuuinjutsu and the uzumaki bloodline, as well as two legendary swords - one he will find, one he and Tenten will create together. I'm not going to give Naruto the Hiraishin and instantly make him Kung-fu Action Magic Jesus. Not to say he won't have his own seal that allows him to teleport - he will. I have everything planned out, people. Trust the author, for he is your god now.

Other than that, not all that much to say. Naruto isn't hella strong or hella smart. He wont have the ability to instantly beat up anyone who messes with him - not yet. Not until at least after the time skip.

He is going to fight, and he is going to lose. He is going to progress from a happy-go-lucky blonde, innocent idiot into what can only be described as a tropical storm. Warm, flowing, free, but capable of becoming a relentless force of nature at a moment's notice.

And two hints to anyone who wants to know how he'll fight in the future - The 7th sense from Yet Again, with a little help this time by Third Fang is kind of similar to part of it.

And his Bingo Book name will be the Tempest of Blades.

I'll try to type as fast as my poor mangled finger will let me. But I might fight through the pain if you give me the sustenance that is internet words, AKA reviews.

Cya!

-Xander-san